Perry tapped his fingers on his thigh, glancing from Joe to Mason. “What about you? You know how to get to the Tye ranch?”
Mason shrugged. “I’m not from around here,” was all he said, holding the man’s angry glare.
What had Tricia seen in this guy? He looked wound up tighter than a saddle bronc in a bucking chute.
“Okay. I’ll find out from someone else.” He gave them one last look as if to give them another chance then spun around and walked out.
Joe watched him leave then got up just as Mason did.
“We need to get back to the ranch. Pronto,” he said. “I don’t know if anyone told you, but that’s the guy that put Tricia in the hospital.”
Chapter 7
“Just one more bite,” Tricia coaxed, holding the spoon close to Hope’s mouth.
But her daughter spun her head away, reaching out to Faith.
“Don’t want to eat. Want Faith,” she whined.
“Just eat, honey,” Faith said, picking up a spoon as well.
Hope smiled at her and dutifully took the spoon from Faith and dug into the casserole Faith had brought when she delivered the kids. Once again Faith had brought supper, and once again Tricia didn’t mind.
Tricia fought down a beat of annoyance at the sight of Hope so easily obeying Faith and ignoring her mother. Her daughter would never listen to her if Faith kept intervening. She looked across the table to where Cash sat between his grandfather and Kane. He was happy enough now, being entertained by Kane.
She was glad Mason wasn’t here to see this. A mother who wasn’t even bonding with her children. A woman who was no good at her own life.
She was also glad he left as soon as they got back to the ranch after their ride. All the way down she was regretting her impulse. Regretting how easily she drifted into another man’s arms. Would she never learn? First Drew, then Perry?
Please, Lord, she prayed as she settled her weary brain, please help me keep my focus on my children. To think only of them.
The prayer eased into her, and for a moment it was as if she felt God’s hand rest lightly on her shoulder. Imagination? Maybe, but she had been praying more and more since she came home. Revisiting her life and re-evaluating.
“All done,” Hope said, putting the spoon down beside her plate.
“No, you’re not—”
“You should finish—”
Tricia and Faith spoke at the same time, and both stopped at the same time.
Faith shot Tricia an apologetic glance.
“Sorry. Habit,” she said, looking sheepish.
Tricia picked up Hope’s spoon, but her daughter leaned toward Faith. “Sit your lap,” she announced.
“Come sit by Mommy,” Tricia said, reaching around her to take her bib off.
“No. Want Faith,” Hope protested, pulling away from her.
“Honey, go to Mommy,” Faith said, her voice quiet.
Suddenly Tricia was too tired to say anything. Too emotionally weary.
“Just take her,” she said to Faith. “She clearly prefers being with you.”
As soon as she spoke the words, she regretted how she sounded. Petulant and childish.
“I’m sorry,” Faith said.
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” Tricia knew exactly how the disconnect between her and her children had happened, but it still hurt. Deeply.
She put the spoon down and sat back, wincing once again. The doctor had told her it would take at least six weeks before her ribs would be healed and even then she would have to be careful for a while. She just wished she could explain that to her children. But that would mean bringing up the reason it all happened in the first place. Her poor choices.
Cash pushed his plate away as well and turned to Kane. “Not hungry,” he proclaimed.
“Okay. Bed time for you guys,” Tricia said, getting up. She wasn’t hungry either.
“No. No bed,” Hope cried out.
“Stay here,” Cash agreed.
“You’re not eating your supper, and I think you’re exhausted,” Tricia said, injecting a firm note into her voice. Trying to sound in charge.
She walked over to Cash and pulled his chair back from the table. He reached out and grabbed at the tablecloth and tugged, but Kane stopped him before he pulled everything onto the floor.
Kane picked up Cash, Faith grabbed Hope, and headed to the kids’ bedroom down the hallway. Tricia trailed behind them, feeling helpless and unnecessary.
Thankfully it didn’t take long to get the kids cleaned up and in their pajamas. Tricia tried to do what she could, hampered by her ribs and a bone-weary tiredness. She knew she might have pushed it hard today, but she also felt she had something to prove.
“Do you want me to help you tuck them in?” Faith asked as she set Hope on the bed.
Tricia hesitated, about to say no, but changed her mind. She and Faith needed to talk.
“That would be nice.” Tricia closed the door, then walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge. The first couple of nights she was here she slept with the kids, her guilt and sorrow over what happened to them making her want to reconnect with them. But it became too difficult, so she moved into the room adjoining, connected by the bathroom. Lucas’s old room.
Faith tucked the blankets tight around the kids then sang to them, her voice almost lulling Tricia to sleep.
As their eyes drifted shut, Tricia stroked Hope’s hair away from her face. “Love you, munchkin.” She bent over and brushed a gentle kiss on her cheek, then slowly got up, walked around the bed past Faith, and did the same for Cash.
Looking over at them the choices she’d made the past year and the mistakes she made were like a weight on her chest, dragging her down. She had much to make up to these precious children.
“You looked disheartened,” Faith said. “Things not going so well with Mason? He seems like a decent guy.”
Her heart jumped at the thought of Mason, hoping Faith didn’t catch her lapse. “He is. I think.” While anything other than her failings as a mother were a welcome distraction, Mason maybe wasn’t the best alternative. But she didn’t want Faith digging deeper. “He’s really calm with the horses.”
“All that, and good looks too,” Faith said.
“You’re engaged. Should you be admiring other guys?” Tricia tried to inject a teasing tone into her voice, hoping she wasn’t blushing.
“Of course he’s not as good-looking as Kane is. Dark hair and those dark eyebrows make him look too broody for my liking.”
“Kane can brood with the best,” Tricia said, an edge entering her voice, thinking of the way Kane had been around her lately.
This netted her a moment of silence, as if Faith understood what she was referring to.
“Anyhow, Mason is just here to do a job,” Tricia said. “His good looks have nothing to do with his abilities.”
“So you admit it.”
“You’d have to be blind not to,” Tricia returned with a light, breezy tone, trying her hardest to show she didn’t care. “At any rate, I’ve got my kids to think of. There’s no way I’m getting involved with any guy. Ever.”
“Someday you might find someone,” Faith said.
Tricia shook her head, waving away her comment. “Not. Looking. I’ve made some lousy choices in the past. I have to confess, I don’t trust my judgment anymore.”
“Is that why you were so down at suppertime?”
Tricia moved to the set of chairs tucked against the bay window and carefully lowered herself into one. Faith was right behind her.
“The kids have been difficult the past couple of days. That’s why I was glad you took them. I had hoped I could take them to see the horses from time to time, but I guess that’s not happening.”
Silence sprawled between them as if waiting for the shift Tricia wanted to make.
“But I sense something else going on,” Faith said.
Her friend and future sister-in-law was too astute.
“Tell me,” Faith said, her quiet voice encouraging Tricia’s confidence.
Her eyes held Tricia’s, and Tricia knew she could entrust Faith with her deepest worry.
“I feel like the kids aren’t connected to me,” she said, her voice subdued. She looked over at the children, now curled up under the blankets, eyes closed as they drifted off to sleep. “I feel like they are more connected to you and Kane than they are to me. I feel like they haven’t forgiven me for leaving them alone.” Her voice broke on the last few words.
Faith was quiet a moment, her silence reinforcing Tricia’s own doubts.
“They’re young. They’ll get over it.”
“I hope they will. But for that to happen, I’ll need your and Kane’s help. I know you’ve been taking care of them, and I so appreciate what you two and Dad have done for them.” She paused, trying to find the right way to say what needed to be voiced. “But they’re my kids. I was glad to have you take them overnight, but I don’t think I should do that too often. I feel like…like you and Kane take over around the kids.”
Another beat of silence followed her comment. Then Faith nodded slowly as if considering what she was saying.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s a habit I need to break. And Kane needs to break.”
“I know I’ll need your help from time to time and I appreciate it, but I also need you to let me be a parent. Let me do the disciplining. Does that make sense?”
“Perfect sense. And I’m sorry.”
Which made Tricia immediately feel ungrateful. “I really appreciate what you’ve done, and I know you really helped me out. But I’m trying so hard to be a good mother to the kids. To be responsible. I know I haven’t made the best choices.” Tricia sighed. “But I truly thought what I was doing would be good for them.”
Faith moved her chair over, taking Tricia’s hands in hers.
“We talked about this before,” Faith said. “And given some of the poor choices I’ve made in my past, I know I have no right to judge you. And I don’t.”
“Well, you seem to be the only one.” Tricia squeezed her friend’s hand. “I know Dad and Kane still struggle with my decisions and choices. Even though I’ve asked for forgiveness again and again. They say they’ve forgiven me, but I can see by the looks on their faces they won’t forget.” She paused a moment, wondering how to express her next thought.
“I think you have to give them time. After all—”
“I never let them see the kids,” Tricia agreed. She eased out a sigh. ”I kept the kids away from them. But I had a good reason for that.”
“What do you mean?” Faith asked.
Tricia bit her lip, not sure she wanted to go back to that horrible evening when the twins’ father died. Though it had been over two-and-a-half years ago, if she let herself she could still hear the crunch of the metal, feel the truck flipping end over end. Everything spinning and twisting and then, black.
The next thing she knew she was picking herself up out of the ditch. Elliot was strapped into the truck, unconscious. And Drew…
She pressed her hand to her mouth, struggling with a kaleidoscope of emotions.
“What did you mean when you said you had good reason not to let Dad see the kids?” Faith pressed.
“Drew told me not to,” she said, glancing at Hope and Cash. “Begged me not to. He said if his father found out, he would want the kids. He would try to take them away from us. He pleaded with me to not tell his dad about the kids as he lay dying in my arms.”
She shuddered, and Faith stroked her shoulder in commiseration.
“Why would his father do that?”
“Because his father was an only child and Drew was his only son. And any kids Drew had would be the only ones to carry on the Bouche name.”
“But it doesn’t seem reasonable that he could take the kids from their own mother. Sounds archaic.”
“That may be, but Drew was so adamant. All he would say was that if his dad found out, he would move heaven and earth to get the kids. To take them away. What could I say? It was his dying wish. All he could talk about. He was scaring me. I never met his dad, but from what Drew told me, he was a tyrant. And I was on my own. Dad was angry with me for running off with Drew and Mom had died…”
“Do you think his father said that because he knew what Drew was like? I don’t want to speak ill of the dead, but it’s no secret Drew lived a pretty rough life.”
“I know you guys warned me against him,” Tricia said, easing out another sigh. “He was wild and crazy but, say what you want about him, he loved me.”
Faith simply nodded her acknowledgement.
“Did you know that when I found out I was pregnant he immediately proposed? He didn’t have to. He could have walked away, but he didn’t.”
“I didn’t know that,” Faith said.
“I turned him down the first couple of times. But he kept insisting. Finally I gave in. I was ashamed and scared. Dad and Kane didn’t like him, but he and Elliot were buddies. And Elliot told me that Drew was crazy about me. That I made him less wild. That he was settled around me.” She released a hard laugh. “I truly thought I could change him. Turned out I didn’t have to.”
“It must have been hard to lose him.”
Tricia tested her emotions, shifting back to that time in her life. “I wish I could say it was. But I don’t think we were as connected as I thought. I think, after Mom died, that I was lost. I needed someone. Dad and Kane were walking around in a haze, Lucas was gone, and Elliot was being Elliot. Drew was the only one who seemed to care what I was dealing with. So…” She lifted her hands in a self-deprecating gesture. “Anyway, now I have two amazing kids I haven’t been careful enough with.” Her voice broke as, once again, the past entered the present. “And then I met Perry. When we broke up I had to keep moving to stay ahead of him because he threatened he would never leave me alone. Another mistake.”
Would she never be able to wash the stain of her guilt away?
A sob crawled up her throat, and she pushed it down, struggling as she always did with the desire to move on. To put the past behind her and take advantage of the second chance God had given her with her father and her family.
Faith squeezed her hand as if she understood Tricia’s thoughts.
“I’m glad you’re back here,” she said. “I’m thankful that you can be at the ranch to heal and to get better. I don’t think you have to worry about Perry coming here. Not with Kane and Dad around.”
“I doubt he knows I’m here,” Tricia said, though a tiny part of her often wondered if he was still looking.
“And now you have your horses to train, so that will give you some focus,” Faith continued.
“Yeah, that’s a positive.” Tricia gave Faith a tremulous smile. “I know Mason doesn’t seem too impressed that he has to work with me, but I don’t care. It’s about the horses and the opportunity they’ll give me.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to sell them when the time comes?” Faith teased her. “I’ve heard how goofy you were about all your other horses.”
Again Tricia glanced at her kids. “I’m doing all of this for Cash and Hope. When I get the money together, I’m going back to school. I’m going to support myself and my kids.”
“You don’t want to stay here?” Faith asked.
“I’ve thought about it, but I think that would be a step backwards for me. I can’t be the spoiled daughter of Zach Tye all my life. I have to make my own way in the world. Make my own decisions. Take charge of my own life.”
The words sounded more confident than she felt. Returning to school and getting a degree would be a monumental task.
Tricia pushed her doubts down again. It was for the kids. Everything she did was for the kids. She could never give them the kind of life she had but she could take care of them to the best of her
ability.
And nothing would stand in the way of that.
Mason pulled up to the ranch house, glancing around the yard. But other than Kane’s and Zach’s pickups and Faith’s small car, there were no other vehicles.
Joe’s truck was right behind him as he got out.
“We gotta tell her right away,” Joe called out as he walked toward the house.
“Just hang on,” Mason said. “Let’s do this together.”
He didn’t know Joe that well, but he seemed like an impulsive guy. And he wanted to make sure that Tricia didn’t panic.
Tricia wasn’t in the kitchen when they stepped inside the house, but Mason heard voices coming from the living room.
He followed them and found Zach sleeping in his recliner. Kane was reading, and Faith and Tricia were looking through what looked like bridal magazines. The scene looked so domestic and peaceful, Mason almost hated to disturb it.
Before they stepped into the room, Mason put a hand on Joe’s arm. “I think maybe I should be the one to tell them,” he whispered.
“Sounds good,” he agreed. “I wasn’t sure how to say it.”
Mason sent up a prayer for peace and the right words and stepped into the living room.
Tricia looked up as soon as he came into the room. Did he imagine that spark in her eyes?
That flush on her cheek?
He pushed those thoughts down, focusing on what he needed to say.
“Tricia, Kane, I think you need to know something important. When Joe and I were in the cafe, we got a visit from some guy named Perry. He wanted to know how to find the ranch.”
Tricia’s hand flew to her mouth, her eyes wide, and she sucked in a hard breath.
“How did he find me? I never told him where I used to live.” Easy to hear the panic in her voice.
“He didn’t say.”
Joe stepped forward, his jaw set, his hands clenched into fists.
“You don’t have to worry, Tricia,” he said. “We’ll take care of you. We’ll make sure he doesn’t hurt you.”
The Cowboy's Family (Family Ties Book 2) Page 8
