by Jody Hedlund
Her voice was infused with stubbornness. But at this moment, I refused to allow her to have her way. I had to get her out of Warwick and away from the queen. And if that meant I had to sacrifice myself to win her freedom, then so be it. Perhaps later, I’d be able to negotiate with the queen further for my own release. But even if she kept me forever, I had to save Pearl.
“Let Mikkel go!” Pearl pushed against the knights. “’Tis me you want! You need my heart, not his.”
Heart? She’d mentioned the queen wanting her heart before. What did she mean by it? Surely not her physical heart, the one that pumped lifeblood throughout her body. But what if that’s exactly what the queen wanted. Why would she need it?
I didn’t have time to process this revelation. Instead I held out my arms to the closest knights. “Take me.”
“This is altogether too touching.” The queen’s expression was rigid and cold upon Pearl. “But you may as well hold your tongues, for I have no intention of setting either one of you free. I intend to behead you both. For treason.”
Pearl screamed. I shoved against the soldiers who’d taken hold of me, unsheathing my knife and rapidly slicing into the closest knights. But a dozen more converged upon me. I was outnumbered, and though I fought valiantly, they subdued me, wresting the weapon from my grip and divesting me of the rest. Within seconds, I was chained and being pushed from the room, with Pearl’s cries echoing around me.
Chapter
23
Pearl
I pounded against the chamber door, but my efforts had grown weak, my hand bruised, and my body trembled from grief. I sagged against the heavy oaken panel, pressing my tear-streaked cheek to the cold wood.
I was locked inside with no way to escape. I’d attempted every possible means, from trying to pry open the window to pulling up floorboards in hopes of finding a secret tunnel. But after nearly two days, I’d concluded that the only way out was through the door.
But the door wouldn’t budge no matter how much I tugged on it, and I hadn’t been able to bang it down with my bare hands either.
“Oh, Mikkel.” More tears slipped out. “Why did you have to come here with me? Why didn’t you stay back on the island?”
The words I’d once spoken to Mikkel came back to me: “True love makes one do things one would not normally consider.” Perhaps he’d left the island because he’d loved and accepted me even then, long before his declaration.
I pushed away from the door and paced across the rushes to my bed, then spun on my heel and circled back to the door. “You were a fool to think you could come here and reason with the queen. No one can ever reason with her. Not my father, not her closest advisors, and not even me. Especially not me.”
Why did she hate me? Why? I was her daughter. The question that had taunted me for so long now swelled and threatened to choke me.
“I hate you too!” The tears ran down my cheeks faster. “Hate you, hate you, hate you!”
I beat my fists against the door again, letting my anger surface and add strength to my hatred. If I ever saw her again, I’d take her by surprise and plunge a knife into her heart. If I couldn’t find a knife, I’d strangle her with my bare hands.
The moment I pictured myself squeezing the sensitive spot in her throat, I gasped with sudden horror. What was I doing? What was I thinking? How could I even contemplate killing her?
I’d vowed not to allow myself to become the same kind of monster as the queen, a monster who cared so little for her family that she’d kill them. But here I was. Plotting how I would take my mother’s life the next time I was with her.
With a groan, I crumpled into a heap and buried my face in my hands, my ruby-colored dress pooling around me. The queen had sent my servants away. But even if they’d been allowed to attend me, I wouldn’t have bothered to change out of the gown. I hadn’t cared what I wore after hearing my mother’s declaration to behead Mikkel. All I’d done was lament and foster my hatred toward my mother, and now it had led me to contemplate murder.
“What have I done?” I groaned again. “What have I become?”
At a soft rapping against the door, I sat up and swiped the moisture from my cheeks.
“Pearl?” Ruby’s muffled voice came from the other side.
I scrambled to my feet.
“Mother said I could visit you in order to say farewell.”
I watched the door. The second the guards opened it, I intended to push my way out, locate Mikkel, and set him free.
Ruby spoke again. “She warned that if you attempt anything at all, she’ll make Mikkel suffer rather than ending his life quickly.”
My legs gave way, and I collapsed to the floor again. A sob rose in my chest, but I swallowed hard in order to push my despair down.
The door opened a crack, and Ruby’s face peeked through. A moment later, she slipped inside and the door closed behind her firmly, letting me know that while Ruby might be able to come in, I wouldn’t be allowed out. Not that I’d attempt an escape now, not with the queen’s threat against Mikkel.
Ruby dropped to her knees and grabbed me in a hug. I tossed my arms around her too. We clung to each other, and even when she wiggled to free herself, I was unwilling to let go, since this might be the last time I’d get to see her.
“Please, Pearl,” she whispered. “I have much to say and not enough time.”
Reluctantly, I released her. “Then she is planning to execute me soon?”
Ruby pressed a finger to her lips. Then cocking her head to the opposite side of the room, she dragged me up and tugged me away from the door.
“She has sent out the announcement for your beheading,” Ruby whispered, “to take place on this afternoon. But she has not established a day yet for Mikkel’s execution.”
“Good. Maybe it is only a ruse to draw in Vilmar. Maybe once she has my heart, she will release Mikkel.”
“If I have my way, we shall not give her anything.”
“I deserve to die, Ruby.” We stopped at the bed, and I lowered myself to the edge.
“No, you do not—”
“I have become a monster just like her.” My head and shoulders drooped under my shame.
Ruby sat beside me and held my hands. “’Tis true that you have many of her qualities. You are beautiful and strong and intelligent. But you are not a monster. Not even close.”
“I am close. Closer than you realize.”
“I know you, and you care about people, truly care. And Mother has never loved anyone but herself.”
Ruby was right. Mother had never loved anyone, not even Father. Perhaps she’d harbored some affection for him, but never the self-sacrificing love he’d shown toward her.
“You are different than her, Pearl.”
“I wanted to kill her.”
“I have too.”
I lifted my head to study her face. “Really?”
“After I overheard her conversation with Lord Haleigh and understood what she was doing with the hearts of the young maidens, I wanted to get rid of her.” Ruby’s eyes reflected the same despair swirling through me. And loss.
We’d both lost hope in ever having what we longed for—a mother who loved us. It was only right to grieve and mourn. But Ruby hadn’t let her despair turn into bitterness or hatred. Perhaps that’s where I’d gone amiss. Maybe that’s where our mother had gone amiss, too, so long ago. She’d fostered bitterness toward her family, which led to hatred. And eventually, that hatred had controlled her until she was incapable of loving.
I couldn’t allow that to happen. I couldn’t give bitterness a home inside me. I had to evict it. But how? I couldn’t change my disappointment in my mother for not loving Ruby and me the way we’d needed, but I could find a way to move on from it, couldn’t I?
As if sensing my questions, Ruby made the sign of the cross on her shoulders and chest. “Whenever I confessed my murderous hatred to Sister Clare, she quoted the Holy Scripture that says: ‘When ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought agains
t any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.’”
If I wanted God to forgive me for my wicked thoughts of murdering my mother, then I needed to forgive her?
“‘Bitterness leads to bondage, but forgiveness sets us free,’” Ruby continued. “That’s what Sister Clare always says.”
I didn’t understand how forgiveness could set me free, but before I could voice my question, a commanding voice came from the other side of the doorway.
Ruby’s grip on my hands tightened. “Listen to me. During the march to the bailey green, Gregor and a few of your friends from the Isle of Outcasts will create a diversion so you can escape.”
My pulse gave a sudden lurch. “My friends from the island are here?”
“I don’t know who.” Her whisper was impatient. “I only know what Gregor’s message revealed.”
I marveled that any of the outcasts had left the safety of the island to come to Warwick. That meant they’d departed shortly after we had. Had they sensed the danger we would face? Why would they take such a risk by following?
A tiny thrill tingled inside, the first hope I’d had since my mother had captured me. “What about Mikkel? How are they planning to free him?”
“Gregor did not speak of it, only that you must get away as soon as the attack begins.”
My thoughts traveled back to the evening in Fife at sunset when we’d rescued Felicity and the other two women. Together we’d schemed, but Mikkel’s ingenuity and ideas had helped us prevail.
At the tap against the door and the soldier calling Ruby’s name, she stood, and all my fears came rushing back.
The royal mountaintop fortress was nothing like the small fishing town of Fife. The queen was much more capable than the Inquisitor. And the elite guards in the palace made the soldiers in Fife look like children in comparison. An escape would be nearly impossible through the gatehouse. And even more challenging through the secret tunnel.
How would Gregor or any one of my outcast friends survive the confrontation, much less make it out of the fortress undetected and alive?
As the door handle rattled, Ruby stood. “Promise you will do everything within your power to escape?”
“If you are with me.”
She hesitated.
“The queen will likely force you to be on the green to watch me die. Once the commotion starts, you must run away with me.”
“I shall only slow you down.”
“No. We go together or not at all.”
She pursed her lips. As the door opened, she nodded. “Very well. I shall try.”
“Good.”
“One last thing,” she whispered. “I heard the queen talking about how she didn’t need the jewels anymore since she’d soon have gold. What could she mean?”
A soldier stepped into the room, his weapons drawn, his expression severe as he glanced from Ruby to me and back. “Time is up, Your Highness.”
Ruby sniffled and pretended to cry before she threw her arms around me.
It was the giant guard who’d stood outside Ruby’s door the night I’d snuck in. The guard had the grace to look chagrined. Staring at the floor, he waited, clearly liking Ruby and feeling sorry for her. I could only hope that favor would continue once we attempted to escape from the castle later.
Ruby pressed a kiss against my cheek. “What if Mother wants your heart because she believes it will aid the white stone in creating gold?”
She didn’t give me the chance to answer. Instead, she released me and started toward the guard, sniffling again and brushing at her cheeks. After she was gone, I stared at the closed door, her question rattling in my head and growing louder with each passing second.
The queen had established the requirements for the Choosing Ball because she needed a specific heart to mix with the white stone for her alchemy. A heart belonging to the most beautiful maiden in the land, a maiden not younger than eighteen but no older than twenty.
If such a heart was necessary to produce precious gems, then what kind of heart was necessary to create gold? Maybe the white stone would require a heart that didn’t just belong to the fairest maiden, but the fairest royal maiden. A princess’s heart. My heart.
The queen sent maidservants to attend to me and make me beautiful once more. Now I knew why—to make my appearance beautiful to ensure that my heart would be acceptable to the white stone for creating gold.
In fact, with the realization of her plans, many of my questions found answers. Now I understood why just after my eighteenth birthday, she’d plotted my murder separately from the Choosing Ball. In her greed, she hoped to have a heart for both gold and jewels. Perhaps she also thought that if my heart failed to produce the gold she sought, then she wouldn’t have to compromise her production of jewels.
Now I understood why she’d never release Ruby to me or to Mikkel, because one day when Ruby came of age, she’d use Ruby’s heart for the same purpose. Perhaps that’s why the queen had worked so diligently all these years to find my cousin, because she wanted Queen Aurora’s heart for her alchemy.
When the guards finally came for me, I told myself I was ready. If my outcast friends could somehow free Ruby and Mikkel, then I’d be able to bear going to my death, knowing that the two people I cared most about were safely in Scania.
As I walked through the long passageways, the heavy steps of the soldiers before and behind me tapped out an ominous rhythm, reminding me not only of how outnumbered my friends would be, but how unsafe against so many well-trained knights.
We exited through a side tower door and rounded the keep into the spacious inner bailey. I forced myself not to glance around and look for my friends. I didn’t want to give away their presence or their positions. Nevertheless, my pulse thudded with expectation.
The thick castle walls rose on the southern side of the bailey and overlooked the sprawling capital city. To the north, mountainous cliffs formed an impenetrable wall. Imposing stone towers spiraled into the air, and I suspected the queen had relegated Mikkel to an isolated room at the top of one of those towers. I prayed Gregor had figured out a way to release him, though I didn’t know how he would accomplish it.
The light-blue skies were the same shade as Mikkel’s eyes, and my heart panged with longing for him. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about and reliving his declaration of love and his kisses from the feast.
I realized now that the queen had planned the feast and made me as beautiful as possible to beguile Mikkel. His ardor had proven the power of my beauty to sway him. And now she had strengthened her case of treason against me, demonstrating that I was in league with Mikkel and condemning him in the process.
While I’d anticipated she might hold Mikkel as ransom for Vilmar, I hadn’t expected her threat to kill him. Surely she would relent and only hold him until Vilmar gave himself up? She wouldn’t behead him and risk Scania’s wrath at taking the life of one of their princes, would she?
At my appearance on the grassy knoll, the gathering of mostly noblemen grew silent. They stood on either side of the queen at the center of the bailey. A dozen paces from them was a sight that turned my stomach—a large smooth stone and the executioner, a man holding a double-bladed axe and wearing a black hood that covered his face except for the eye holes.
Farther away, servants stared from the windows and doorways of the thatched huts built against the inner wall. The buildings formed the soldiers’ garrison, stables, smithy, apothecary, and other trades that made the castle self-sufficient.
Along the battlements, soldiers paused in their duties to peer down. I didn’t need to count to know that four stood along the inner rim and four along the outer, in addition to the two in the gatehouse towers. With the half dozen who escorted me, along with others off duty in the nearby garrison, I didn’t hold out much hope of an escape for myself. Nevertheless, I prayed for it for Mikkel and Ruby.
A quick look around told me Ruby wasn’t present in the bailey, and my pulse stumb
led, as did my faltering steps. Had I been amiss in my assumption the queen would make her watch me die? Perhaps the queen still had a shred of compassion left for her youngest child. More likely, she was ensuring that Ruby remained safeguarded for her future alchemy needs.
If only we’d been born boys like Ethelbard. As the heir to the throne, he rarely stayed in the same palace as the queen, and he was currently residing in one of the royal country estates near the eastern coast. Though he’d visited Kensington from time to time while growing up, I’d never gotten to know my brother well. From the little I’d learned, he was unlike my mother in just about every way. Perhaps she’d been able to tolerate him because she didn’t feel threatened by him the same way she did with me.
What would he say once he discovered the queen had executed me? I doubted he would oppose her decision. He did everything the queen asked of him without question, just as our father had done.
Mikkel had accused me of following Irontooth without question. Had I done so not only with Irontooth but also with the queen? Perhaps I’d lived for so long trying to please my mother and gain her affection that I’d closed my eyes to her evil ways, hadn’t allowed myself to see what she was truly capable of doing until it was too late.
The guards ushered me in front of the queen, who stood regally, as beautiful as always. Attired in a gown of fine gold, she shimmered in the sunshine. I understood now why she didn’t accept Mikkel’s offer of an alliance—she would soon have gold and no longer need any other country’s aid. She would be powerful and wealthy enough on her own.
Lifting my chin, I stood unmoving before her. She waited, expecting me to kneel before her as I normally did. However, this time I wouldn’t allow myself to care whether I pleased her or not. I held myself rigid and forced myself not to cower under her sharp gaze.
She nodded toward the castle garden at the rear of the keep. “Your beloved is arriving to watch.”
I drew in a sharp breath at the sight of two soldiers leading Mikkel, gagged and bound, onto the green. They shoved him to a post, swiftly looped his arms overhead to a hook, and then sliced open his shirt, rendering his back bare. One of the soldiers held a scourge covered in bits of bone and rock. I shuddered, praying Gregor and the outcasts would strike before Mikkel had to suffer.
