‘I can.’
‘How is she?’
‘Holding her own,’ Ed said. ‘So far anyway. Captain, I want to go with her.’
‘Of course. I think your work here is more or less done. Dr Wyatt can take over.’ There was a tiny pause to show that the captain was moving from professional to personal and then he said, ‘Ed, I want know what happens. Maddy—we all think a lot of her.’
‘I’ll keep you posted,’ Ed promised. Then he turned to stare down at her.
Ten minutes after that there was another call, this time from his friend Ben Carter at St Piran’s. ‘You have a patient for me, Ed?’
For now this wasn’t the woman he loved, this was a patient. There was no time for emotion. ‘She fell and smashed her head. Obviously she’s concussed and she’s drifting in and out of consciousness. Blood pressure up, slow pulse. I’ve taken X-rays, there’s a depressed fracture and some fragmentation. I suspect a subdural haematoma, and I’ve got an IV line in to deal with any dehydration through blood loss.’
‘Sounds like I need to see her urgently. I understand there’s a chopper bringing her in?’
‘That’s right.’
‘Well, I need to have a look at her and we need CT and MRI scans. Once I’ve got those we’ll have her in Theatre. I’m getting the team together.’ There was a short pause and then Ben said, ‘Your voice is cracking, Ed. Is this girl a personal friend of yours?’
‘I hope so,’ Ed said quietly.
This was silly, Maddy thought. No, not silly, weird. She knew she was floating in and out of consciousness. The odd thing was, when she was conscious she was able to have quite intelligent conversations. Well, she thought they were intelligent. They just suddenly…stopped.
Her head hurt. But if she turned it slightly she could see an IV giving set dripping blood into her. Yes, she must have lost quite a lot of blood. That would be why she felt quite so weak and…
She knew that her injury was serious. Possibly extremely serious. She had seen it in the faces of Dr Wyatt and the nurses. Dr Wyatt had told her that this wasn’t her area of expertise. She wondered what expert they might manage to find and if it would be in time. And where was Ed?
The odd thing was that this should have happened just when she was beginning to be able to feel again. Feel emotionally, that was. It was as if a black cloud had lifted. She could see possibilities all around her, saw that there were chances that she ought to take. Ought to have taken.
Ed Tremayne. She had started to feel something for him. Perhaps she should have fought harder against letting him go. Though where would that have got him now? More misery? She knew that this injury was serious. It would have been a pity if he had… She drifted off again.
Somehow she knew that quite some time had passed since she had last been conscious. And when she came to she knew that her condition had deteriorated. But she could still think clearly, even though it was an effort to open her eyes, to turn her head. And there was Ed. The man she loved!
He looked different. The old iron face had gone, she now could tell exactly what he felt. Of course, he was terribly worried. But there was something else that she wasn’t quite certain of. A new expression on his face that she had never seen before.
He took her hand, lifted it to his lips and his eyes never left her face. ‘You weren’t here when I woke up before,’ she said. She was amazed at how weak her voice sounded.
She thought he was fighting to keep his feelings under control. ‘Did you think I wanted to leave you here to be injured on your own? It was so hard, leaving you! But there were things I had to arrange. We’ve got a helicopter coming to take you to hospital.’
‘You’re coming, too!’ She didn’t want to be parted from him.
‘Of course I’m coming, too. You’re going to see a friend of mine, Ben Carter. He’s a surgeon.’
‘So I need a surgeon? I’m that bad?’
‘Ben had a look at your X-rays, we had a video connection. He wants to have a closer look.’
‘You mean open up my head. So you know what’s wrong with me?’
It was strange how weak she felt and yet how alert. Something to do with her injury? No, nothing like that. But she saw the doubt and fear in Ed’s eyes and she guessed what he was not telling her.
‘We’re not sure yet. It’ll all be clearer when Ben has operated.’
‘Ed! The two of us have always been honest with each other. At least, we’ve tried, though I’m not sure how well we have succeeded. Now, never mind about reassuring the patient. Tell her honestly what her chances are.’ She paused a moment to get her breath, and then went on, ‘There are definite reasons I need to know.’
She saw him debating, wondering whether to tell her or not. She was glad when he decided to be honest.
‘There is pressure from fragments of broken bone in your skull, causing bleeding into the brain. We don’t know how serious the bleeding is, but it’s got to be stopped soon. Ben needs to drill through to try to relieve the pressure, tie up the leaking blood vessels and deal with the bone fragments. He won’t know how hard the job will be till he gets inside.’
‘What are my chances?’
He didn’t answer.
‘Listen, Ed! I’ve been a theatre nurse in A and E, I know what skull fractures are like. I’ve seen enough road accidents. And you’ve turned into a terrible liar—you couldn’t convince anyone. It’s really important that I know the worst possible thing that could happen to me.’
He gave up trying to hide things from her, she was too certain about what she wanted. ‘There’s a risk that you could slip into a coma and never come out of it.’
She held his gaze. ‘So what are the chances of that happening to me?’
He didn’t answer at first. She could see his pain was even greater. But then she knew he would act like the doctor he was, the man who could do whatever was necessary, whatever it cost him. ‘The chances of success are about fifty-fifty. Ben thinks that we daren’t wait any longer. He’s been talking on the radio to some expert in London, and the man agrees we need to operate at once. Your condition is deteriorating every minute.’
Strange how detached she felt, she thought. This was like talking about someone who wasn’t her. ‘That’s more or less what I had guessed. Don’t worry, I can take it.’
‘You can take it! What about…?’ Once again she saw the giant effort he had to make to calm himself. Then he went on, ‘For the moment I’m your doctor. I have to ask you if you agree to this operation. You know the risks involved. I have to ask you if you are willing to sign the consent form.’
‘I’ll sign it now. Can you get it and fetch me a pen?’
She had a moment alone while he fetched the form. She considered, made a decision then wondered if it was the right one. ‘Life’s too short to spend changing my mind,’ she muttered to herself. Life was too short? It could be even shorter now her decision was definite. But the prospect of the operation really didn’t alarm her. It was something else.
Ed came back in the room held out a pen and paper. ‘Read what it says,’ he urged. ‘I don’t want you to…’
She scrawled her name across the bottom of the sheet. ‘I’ll read it afterwards,’ she said. ‘Just out of curiosity. Ed, sit down, there’s something I want to say to you.’
He sat, took her hand again. ‘Maddy, don’t waste your strength. We can—’
‘No. I need to talk. I have to because I might doze off again and that would be terrible. You said I had a fifty-fifty chance of pulling through. Well, in case I don’t, there’s something I want to say to you. If I might die, I think that I have licence to say it. I don’t need to worry about whether it’s proper or not. And, Ed, you don’t need to say anything.’
She took a breath. Now she had decided, she had to hang on, just for a while longer. She could feel unconsciousness creeping up on her, but she had to say this first. ‘Ed, I meant what I said this morning. I do love you. Forget all that rubbish about ship boar
d romance, about this being out of time, not to be thought about. I love you.’
Why that funny way he was looking at her? As if he’d just heard news that surprised him. As if something odd had just occurred to him.
He shook his head, as if not certain. Then he did jerk her into full consciousness. ‘And I love you, Maddy,’ he said. And, almost as if it was an after thought, ‘Will you marry me?’
But after that first wonderful shock she felt the clouds gathering in her head again. His face seemed to blur, she was sinking into something deep and warm and comforting. ‘You certainly know how to make a girl feel good,’ she managed to whisper. ‘Now I’ve got something to dream about. Marry you? Of course I will.’
She knew she was smiling as she fell asleep.
For a moment Ed stared down at the unconscious Maddy. He’d just asked her to marry him and he knew that it was what he wanted. More than anything. He would marry Maddy and they would be happy together—if she survived. And suddenly fear hit him, stronger than ever. A fifty-fifty chance. How could he cope? He had lost one woman he loved—how could he bear to lose another?
Then he told himself not to be a coward. He had tried to avoid falling in love because of the pain that loss might bring. But now he knew that the risk was worth taking. He was in love. And it was wonderful.
‘Not quite as bad as I had feared,’ said Ben. ‘X-rays are good but they don’t tell the whole story. Can’t be certain yet, of course, but I feel…reasonably hopeful.’
Ed supposed that this was the best that could really be expected from a surgeon. He watched as Ben stripped off his blood-spattered scrubs and threw them into a bin.
‘They’re bringing her to now,’ Ben went on. ‘You can go in if you like. She might just recognise you.’
Ed went into the recovery room. A nurse smiled at him and left them alone. Ed looked down at Maddy’s pale face, half-hidden by a turban of bandages. There was a sudden surge of pity for something that wasn’t really too important. When it wasn’t fastened up for work, Maddy’s hair was light brown, shoulder length, and he thought it beautiful. He suspected she was rather proud of it. But now much of it would have been cut away. It would take months to grow back. Well…things could have been much worse.
There were tubes in her arms and behind the trolley there were monitors giving a constant flow of information. Automatically he scanned them. No obvious cause for alarm. Things seemed to be fine.
He bent to kiss her cheek. He couldn’t see much of her forehead. She didn’t smell like the woman he had kissed so passionately the night before. Now there was the smell of antiseptic and that unforgettable theatre smell. No matter. It would pass.
He straightened, looked down at her. And her eyelids flickered. She saw him, her eyes opened fully. ‘Hi, Ed,’ she whispered. Then her eyes closed again.
‘You made it,’ he whispered. That was good enough.
CHAPTER TEN
THIS was a lovely room, Maddy thought. She had the room to herself and at the bottom of the bed she could see French windows that opened out to the garden, and beyond that the sea. In time she would be able to sit outside on the terrace and watch the boats sailing in and out of the harbour.
She wasn’t really sure how things had worked out this way. As she had no family, no close relations, the captain had arranged with Ed for her to be transferred from St Piran’s to this nursing-home in Penhally Bay. The company would pay for it. She had been asked if this was what she wanted. Maddy had been content to leave all the decisions, arrangements to Ed. He was good at this sort of thing.
That was…what was it?…three days ago. She had been sedated most of the time. She had seen Ed twice every day. But she hadn’t been able talk to him, to make sense of what he was saying. She had just held his hand. But now she was recovering, she didn’t have to sleep quite so much. And she could look about her. Think of the future.
She had been told that she was to expect a visit from her doctor. Good. She was feeling more herself now, she was still weak, her head still hurt an awful lot, and when a nurse had brought her a mirror, she had thought that she looked terrible. How long before her hair would regrow? What kind of style could she try? Whatever, she thought having her hair half cut off might be bad—but things could have been so much worse.
Where was her doctor? She was waiting to see Ed.
She had thought about him and when she had been asleep she had dreamed about him. But she wasn’t sure about him. She knew she was still weak, emotionally as well as physically, but soon she knew she would be her old confident self. Able to make her own decisions and to think about what had happened to her. Able to think about what she had said—and about what had been said to her. Everything might be different now. But she was looking forward to seeing Ed again.
A nurse came in, smiled and said, ‘The doctor’s coming to have a look at you now. Ready for him?’
Well, she was. Sort of.
But it was a definite disappointment when the doctor who came in was Nick. She couldn’t stop herself. She said, ‘I thought Ed was my doctor.’
Nick smiled at his patient. ‘No. I told him that I would be the physician in charge. I’ll tell you why in a minute. Ed can be a visitor, and I’m sure he’ll be in to see you soon. And Ben Carter will be over to see you tomorrow—he’ll want to admire his good work. Now, we’ll have the medical examination first and then perhaps chat a while.’ He turned to the nurse. ‘Janice, could you remove…?’
It seemed odd to be examined instead of examining. It was weird to have your records looked at, instead of looking at them. She wasn’t sure she liked it. But Nick was a professional. If nothing else she could admire his skill.
Finally the examination was over, her head was bandaged again and Nick told the nurse she could go. Maddy looked at him thoughtfully. He seemed to have relaxed. Now he was her friend. ‘So why not Ed as my doctor?’ she asked him. ‘I thought he was very efficient.’
‘He is efficient and I’m proud of him and his ability. But he’s better not being your doctor because he can’t keep the necessary distance. Because of the relationship between you two.’
‘I’m not sure there is one,’ she said. ‘Things said in…in emotional moments aren’t always true when you think about them dispassionately. You get over-eager.’ Then, wanting some kind of encouragement, she asked cautiously, ‘But if there was any kind of relationship, would you approve?’
‘It’s not my place to say. But I do find you a very competent nurse.’
Maddy felt just a little irritated. ‘Thanks for the compliment—I think. Nick, are you always so guarded about what you say? It must be hard when so many of your patients are known to you. Are your friends, in fact.’
She was a bit surprised at the strength of his answer. ‘Of course I’m guarded. Doctors aren’t like most people, Maddy, you should know that. You have to keep some distance, if only because you learn so many secrets. Now, let’s move onto something else. You can’t go home alone so you’re to stay here until we think you’re fit to be discharged, and that’ll be a while. You don’t recover from cranial surgery quickly. So what do you see as your future?’
‘I just haven’t thought about it,’ she said honestly. ‘I suppose I could get another job with the cruise line. But I only signed on for one trip.’
‘After your operation that won’t be a good idea for several months. You need to be on dry land, within easy distance of a hospital. Not that I see any trouble ahead. But it’s good to be cautious.’
He paused a moment, then said. ‘I’ve been very impressed by you, Maddy. And when you worked for me before, you were excellent. Would you like to think about a job in the Penhally Bay practice?’
She looked at him in amazement. The thought had never crossed her mind. ‘Is there a vacancy?’
‘There will be shortly. We’re expanding rapidly.’
She thought some more. ‘Did Ed put you up to this?’
‘No, it was entirely my idea. And
I didn’t ask him. I’m always on the lookout for good staff. Don’t answer now, just think about it.’
He stood, picked up his doctor’s bag. ‘Ed’s working this morning but he said he’d be in to see you this after noon. You might like to talk about my offer to him. Bye, Maddy.’ Then he smiled, taking her hand. ‘It’s good to see you looking so well. When I heard about your accident, I was worried.’ And he was gone.
Maddy lay back on her pillow, wondered if the thinking she now had to do might make her head hurt even more. The offer of a job in the Penhally Bay practice. Working with Ed. Suddenly life seemed more complicated. Or more simple?
When she had only known Ed for three days she had told him that she loved him. Well, perhaps she hadn’t been in her right mind, she had been about to have a possibly life-threatening operation. The trouble was, now she had had her operation, now she had been told that she was going to recover, she still knew that she loved him. And she had decided that she loved him before her accident. All right, sane, professional, reason able nurses didn’t make that kind of decision after three days. But she had. And she meant it.
She had told Ed that she loved him and he had promptly asked her to marry him. But had he only done it to aid her recovery, to make her feel better? In that he had been successful. She was sure that the proposal had helped her pull through. But had he really meant it? Had it just been the agony of the moment, a sudden rash decision to be later regretted? He wasn’t ready for the consequences. And he was still upset over his dead wife, he just wasn’t capable of making big decisions. Not for the rest of his life, it seemed to her. She was thinking clearly now, it was all so plain. He hadn’t really meant it. No way could she hold him to a promise made so quickly.
What to do now? Ed was an honourable man. He had asked her to marry him. She thought she had said yes but she wasn’t really sure. So he would want to do the proper thing—marry her. She must tell him that agreeing to marry him had been a mistake.
Nurse Bride, Bayside Wedding Page 12
