The Journey Home

by Kelly Elliott

  Cale stood up and walked into my kitchen. “Do you have a beer?”

  I let out a long, deep breath. He wasn’t going to be able to make it back home at this rate. The last thing he needed was beer.

  “Cale, why don’t I make you a cup of coffee? Do you want me to call Zoey to come pick you up?”

  “No!” He shook his head. “Maddie, I confronted her this afternoon. She broke down and told me she overheard Jack and me talking about how I wasn’t feeling it with her. She said she panicked and that’s when she told me she was sick. When it still seemed like I was going to break up with her, she lied about being pregnant.”

  I covered my mouth in shock. “What? She admitted this to you?”

  He stumbled, and I ran over and caught him before he could fall.

  “Yep,” he said. “And I just fucking asked her to marry me because her fucking mother and my fucking mother both guilted me with all this ‘Zoey is sick and deserves to be properly married’ bullshit,” he said. Then he laughed. “Nothing like being forced into a fucking fake marriage.”

  I stood there, stunned. None of this made any sense.

  He leaned against the kitchen counter and grabbed my arms. “Don’t you see, Maddie? She lied. If she hadn’t lied, I’d have found you. We would be together, and that would be me holding you like that and me sucking on your nipples. It would be me asking if I turned you on…not some asshole.”

  The heat between my legs was unreal. Cale just talking about touching me turned me on more than anything. I fought back the urge to tell him to touch me. I stepped away and he smiled at me.

  “You feel it, don’t ya, Maddie? Tell me you feel it.”

  I wanted to tell him I felt it. I wanted to run into his arms and beg him to make love to me. But I knew he was drunk. I knew that, sober, he’d be thinking about Zoey and the baby. Even if he was angry, he wouldn’t have run to me if he weren’t intoxicated.

  “Cale, you need to go home.”

  He closed his eyes and shook his head. “You’re doing it again. You’re pushing me away. I’m tired of it, Maddie. I’m so tired of it.”

  I swallowed hard and turned to find my phone. I needed Jack to come pick up Cale.

  I was about to dial my phone when Cale grabbed me. He turned me around and backed me up until I hit the living room wall.

  His eyes were filled with lust. That look had my panties soaked in seconds.

  He lifted up my dress and, in one quick movement, he ripped my panties from my body. I wanted to cry out yes. I wanted to let him take me, but I couldn’t.

  “Cale,” I said. “Don’t do this.”

  He kissed my neck and I started to give in. When his hand touched my inner thigh, I startled. His lips moved to mine and I moaned, desperately, into his mouth. He brushed his fingers against my lips. Slowly, he pulled up my leg and sank his fingers inside me.

  “Oh God,” I whispered. I tried to come to my senses. “Cale, please don’t do this. We can’t do this.”

  He moved his lips to my jaw line as he kissed around to my ear. “You’re so wet,” he said. “Are you turned on by me? Or by him?”

  The moment he asked, I felt like a whore. I dropped my leg and pushed him back. He lost his balance, falling over my coffee table and onto the sofa.

  I wiped the tears from my eyes.

  Cale managed to stand up and shake his head. “Jesus. I didn’t mean that Maddie. I just—”

  “Get out,” I said. “Get out of my house and don’t you dare set foot near me again. I hate you, Cale.”

  He shook his head. “No, please don’t say that. I didn’t mean it—”

  “Get. Out!” I screamed.

  He came closer and reached out to me. “Don’t touch me!” I yelled.

  “Fuck, Maddie, I didn’t mean to say that to you. I was jealous and angry. Please.”

  As he took another step closer, Monica and Jack walked in.

  “What the hell is going on here?” Monica asked, looking between Cale and me.

  “Get him out,” I said. “I never want to see him again. Please, just get him out and take him home to his fiancée!”

  Jack put his arm around Cale’s shoulders and began guiding him out the door. Cale was still begging.

  “Maddie, please wait,” he said. “I didn’t mean it. I don’t love her. I didn’t want to ask her to marry me. I did it for the baby. Please, God, just…please. I’m so sorry.” Then he started crying.

  With tears streaming down my face, I turned to Jack and whispered, “Get him out of here.”

  “Maddie…please.” Cale slurred. “God, please don’t say that. I love you, Maddie. I’ve always loved you. I’ll always love you.”

  I slammed my hands over my ears and began crying harder. I turned and ran up to my bedroom and slammed the door. Stripping out of my clothes, I took a long, hot shower.

  I finally surrendered to my tears and sank to the shower floor, sobbing. I’d never cried so hard. It was as if my entire world had stopped and I didn’t know how to get it moving again.

  As I sat there, wet, rocking back and forth, I whispered, “I hate you, Cale. I hate you…”

  THE KNOCK ON the door startled me, pulling me out of my daydream. I’d been trying to reach Maddie for two weeks, but she wouldn’t return my calls or text messages. Zoey was getting moodier as she got closer to her due date. She interrogated me the night I showed up at the house drunk. She asked me if I’d run to Maddie to cry on her shoulder. She has to know there’s something between us. She has to. She is so insanely jealous of Maddie it is unreal.

  The knock on my door grew louder. “Blackwood. Boss wants to see you.”

  I got up and made my way to Chuck’s hotel room. Chuck had been my boss since my first day with the company. I loved my job, even though we traveled a good portion of the year. We all lived out of hotel rooms, and I found myself longing to be on the road rather than home. Especially after my last fight with Zoey.

  The scene played out in my head.

  “YOU’RE NEVER HOME!” Zoey yelled at me.

  “It’s my job, Zoey. You knew this when we started dating. I travel. A lot. It’s never going to change. Ever.”

  “You have me now, Cale. The baby. Your mother said that if you really wanted to, you’d stay home and take care of me.”

  “My mother? You talked to my mother about this?” I yelled.

  She smiled and nodded. “Yes. She said all you have to do is go to work for your father. They’d make sure you got paid three times what you’re getting now. We could take vacations together, if you still wanted to travel.”

  I just stared at her. I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. “We’re getting ready to have a baby. We can’t travel. And you’re getting weaker, Zoey.”

  She put her hand on her stomach. “Fuck. I can’t wait to have this kid. Damn it. This is not what was supposed to happen. Stupid-ass Maddie is dating that hot, rich guy and I’m stuck home alone, pregnant.”

  “Why did you get yourself pregnant if this is not what you wanted, Zoey?”

  She put her hands on her hips. “I had to! Don’t you understand, she—”

  Zoey cut herself off. She was hiding even more than she’d admitted. I knew it. Things hadn’t been the same with us since she’d confessed to getting pregnant on purpose. We hadn’t made love in weeks. The last time I touched her was the night of our wedding, and it was classic Zoey. It was rushed, our parents where the only people in attendance, and the honeymoon wasn’t much different. It was spent with Zoey on top, fucking me. Once she came, she crawled off of me and told me to finish myself off.

  My life was miserable. I glared at her.

  She shook her head. “Cale, I feel like I’m losing you, baby. Please. Just touch me once. Cale, please!”

  The moment she began crying, I knew I was done for. I didn’t want to hurt Zoey. I cared about her. We were having a baby together and, after talking to her doctor, Zoey was going to have a long recovery. H
er parents were still angry and wouldn’t give us their blessing, even though her mother had insisted we get married. My mother had pretended that the baby wasn’t real until we were wed, and my father just sat back, behind the scenes.

  I pulled Zoey into my arms. I started to kiss her, showering her body with attention. It didn’t take her long to get on her hands and knees and tell me to fuck her hard and fast. There was no lovemaking with Zoey. Only fucking.

  I SHOOK MYSELF out of the memory and walked into Chuck’s hotel room, where I sat down at the desk.

  He cleared his throat and then spoke. “Don’t you think you should start putting in for some time off for your kid’s birth?”

  I stared at him. “What?”

  He threw his head back and laughed. “Time off. You know, when the baby is born, you usually take a few weeks to be with the mom and the baby. Bond and all that shit.”

  “Oh yeah. Right. Well, her due date is in three weeks. They are talking about doing a C-section to lessen the stress on her body. I’d have to ask Zoey for the specifics.”

  Chuck tilted his head. “Blackwood, are you the least bit excited for this?”

  I gave Chuck a puzzled look. “Of course I am.”

  He raised an eyebrow at me. “Really?”

  I took a deep breath and slowly blew it out. “Shit, I don’t know anymore. I’m excited, but I just wish…I mean I wish it was…aw, shit. If I answer this I’m going to sound like a real dick.”

  “You wish it was with another girl.”

  My eyes widened as I looked at my boss. “Yes! That is exactly it.”

  “She trapped you?”

  I nodded my head. “You could say.”

  He nodded. “Doesn’t matter. Your dick was working and you knew what you were doing. It’s your responsibility to be the best damn father you can be.”

  I nodded. “I know, sir.”

  “So go do it. Help your wife prepare for the birth of your child.”

  I was about to say something when my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a text from Jack that said 911.

  “Um…I need to see what this is about. Sounds urgent. Do you mind?”

  Chuck motioned for me to go ahead and I started to read my messages.

  Jack: The private detective found something you really need to know about.

  Me: Is Maddie okay?

  Jack: Dude, this is about Zoey.

  Me: Zoey? What is he doing with information about Zoey?

  Jack: You’ve known I haven’t trusted her from the very beginning. I needed to know what she was hiding and I just found out.

  Me: Can it wait until I get home?

  Jack: No.

  I looked up at Chuck. “It’s about Zoey. Do you mind if I step outside and make a call?”

  “Of course, go ahead. You know where to find me when you’re ready to request that time off.”

  I nodded and walked outside. I hit Jack’s number.

  “Cale?” he answered.

  “Yeah, what’s going on?”

  “I knew something was off with Zoey the moment I met her. I told you something was wrong.”

  I let out a frustrated sigh. “Yes, I know and it was her being secretive about being sick. Dude, we’ve been over this a million times.”

  “No, Cale that’s not it. That’s not it at all. Zoey knew about you.”

  I waited for him to follow up. He didn’t. “What do you mean, she knew about me?”

  “Cale…she knew you were the “mystery guy” Maddie talked about all the time. She overheard Maddie and Monica talking about how much Maddie was still hung up on you. That day in the Starbucks, she wasn’t the least bit interested in you. She was trying to prove a point to Maddie, who had dared her to ask a stranger to dance. Once you said your name, Zoey figured it out and set out to get with you and make Maddie jealous.”

  My heartbeat began to speed up as I tried to make sense out of everything Jack was telling me.

  “Wait, how do you know all of this?”

  “Did you know Zoey had a cousin?”

  I shook my head. “No. She’s never mentioned anyone close to her other than her parents and Maddie.”

  “Well, the private detective found her. Zoey meet up with her cousin at least once a week and, up until two months ago, they had been going out to clubs every time you went out of town. Apparently, about a month or so ago, the PI’s mother passed away suddenly, and he had to fly home to take care of her estate. He called me yesterday morning and said with everything going on he’d forgotten to tell me about this cousin. Said she was a player and screwed anything with a working dick. I found her at her favorite hangout last night and, once I got her talking, dude, she didn’t shut up. Zoey used you like a pawn in some twisted game to mess with Maddie. Her cousin said that the moment Zoey met, Maddie she became crazy obsessed with her and wanted to have her life. I mean, Cale, Zoey wants everything Maddie has. She even told her cousin that after she has the baby, she’s going after Andre, Maddie’s boyfriend.”

  I couldn’t breathe. It felt like I was in a tiny room with walls closing in on me.

  “I need a second…I can’t…I can’t breathe.”

  “Sure. Shit, I’m sorry, Cale. I just unloaded all this shit on you about your wife.”

  I sat down on a bench. “I’ll call you right back.” I hung up on Jack and thought back to the day I met Zoey. All if it began making sense. The little comments she would make here and there. The way she forced Maddie to come to the table that day, then dropped the bomb that she was pregnant, even though she wasn’t even pregnant at the time.

  I dropped my head in my hands and groaned. I’d played right into her twisted game. She’d used me, and I’d let her. I’d let her destroy my life and Maddie’s.

  I looked down at my phone. After a moment’s pause, I pulled up Maddie’s number and hit dial. When a recorded message came up saying that I’d dialed a non-working number, I jumped to my feet. She changed her number. Fuck!

  I called Jack. “Hey dude, are you okay?”

  “No. Do you know if Maddie is still seeing Andre?” I asked. I knew Jack and Monica had been hooking up recently, and she told him everything.

  Silence.

  “Jack, please I have to know.”

  “What good does it do, Cale? Why beat yourself up about it?”

  “Jack! Just tell me.”

  He let out a breath and said, “Yes. She’s seeing him still. They’re…um…well—”

  “Jesus, just spit it the hell out.”

  “They’re together in Florence right now. Maddie told Monica she had to get out of town for a bit after Zoey told her about the wedding.”

  “What? She’s in Italy with this guy? How serious are they?”

  Jack let out a sigh. “I don’t know dude. I mean, she went to Italy to meet his family.”

  I swallowed hard. “They’ve only been dating a few months.”

  “Cale, you married Zoey. What was Maddie supposed to do?”

  It felt like my whole world had stopped.

  I lost her.

  I’ve lost her forever.

  ANDRE AND I strolled the streets of Florence in a peaceful silence. That was one of the things I loved about him. He could leave me alone in my thoughts and not ask me things like What’s wrong? What are you thinking about? Are you okay? Every five seconds.

  As we walked into the Piazza della Repubblica, Andre held my hand and hummed an Italian song. I smiled when I saw all the children running in an attempt to pop the giant bubbles that a street performer was making. We walked up to an older gentleman who was sketching a portrait on the ground. He had an old, worn-out, black and white picture that he was working from, but the portrait he drew was full of color. I sucked in a breath as my eyes took in the girl’s beautiful, young face.

  “Who is she?” I asked.

  Andre asked the older gentleman, who was sitting, drawing the young girl’s lips using a ruby red chalk. The man looked up at Andre and me, sadness in his e
yes. His rapid response in Italian caught me off-guard. His words were pure passion. Andre nodded.

  “What did he say?” I asked, almost holding my breath in anticipation. I wasn’t sure why my heart felt so heavy. It was as if I felt the same thing as this elderly artist felt.

  Andre smiled weakly. “He said she is the love of his life. He left for the war and, when he returned, she was nowhere to be found. He’s been drawing her picture all over Florence, hoping she will return to him.”

  I sucked in a breath.

  Cale.

  I wanted to fall to my knees, take the man’s hands in mine and tell him I knew how his heart felt. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked away from him.

  “So sad,” I whispered as Andre placed his hand on the small of back and led me on, silent again.

  Church bells began ringing and my heart soared as I saw a young couple snuggle up in a horse-drawn carriage pulling away from the church. She was dressed in a beautiful white gown, he in a black tux. The love pouring off of each other was almost tangible.

  The aroma of the food from the surrounding restaurants filled my senses and, for some reason, I was longing for home.

  “Ciao, Bella,”

  I pulled my eyes from the young couple to see Andre’s mother standing in front of us. She placed her hands on the sides of my face and pulled me in for a kiss on my right cheek, then my left.

  “Ciao,” I said as I smiled at her.

  She looked at Andre. “Are we ready to head to the vigneto, Andre?”

  Andre pulled me close to him and nodded his head. “Yes, Mamma.”

  Andre’s grandparents owned a vineyard in the hills of Tuscany, and his mother couldn’t wait to get there. Andre had insisted we stay in Florence for one night before heading out to the country. Andre’s mother had been upset that we’d stayed in Florence, in a hotel room together, alone. She had moved to America as a young girl, but still held onto the old-fashioned ways of her Italian family.

  A few hours later, we were making our way down a long driveway. Either side of the driveway was flanked by nothing but vineyards. The driver parked in the front of a massive, beautiful home. I was walking up granite stairs to a house that would turn my mother green with envy. The front doors were large and wooden. They looked like you would need five men to push them open.