I struggle to breathe under the now pounding rain.
My worst nightmare has come true.
He’s found me.
Eight
Logan
“Tell me more about your friend.”
“What?” I ask.
Max is sitting back in his chair in our office. The fabric of his dark blue suit stretches across his arms as he leans his elbow on his desk. He’s absentmindedly playing on his phone and I can tell by the way his finger slides across the screen that he’s most likely surfing his social media accounts. He loosens his tie, pulling at the knot around his neck. After Lena and Abby left, Max had told me he had just returned from a meeting with Gavin James, discussing the menu and time of the event. I wasn’t too offended he had gone without me. He’d left the running of the restaurant to me and said there were several meetings with Gavin coming up where it was imperative for me to be there. Max’s continued trust in me was becoming more apparent with each day. He needed me to help coordinate this enormous fundraiser with Gavin, all the while keeping the restaurant still running.
That’s where Natalie came in. Because of Max’s meeting, I was then tasked with training Natalie. Where I had been all morning. That’s where Natalie came in. She needed to be trained for the moments neither of us could be there. Training Natalie has become a small battle. She’s an excellent chef and has some great skills but her lack of attention to detail is what’s so frustrating. She’s a great technical chef but her passion for our way of cooking was lacking.
Today was more frustrating than any other day I’ve been forced to train her. I was thankful when Lena had stopped in for lunch because it allowed me time to be distracted from the frustration and pressure I’d been getting from training all morning. At this point, if Natalie didn’t catch up soon, I wasn’t entirely sure how long she’d last under Max’s thumb.
“I’m talking about Abby.” Max grins. “I want to know a little more about her before we have our dinner.”
“Come on, Max,” I groan. “Please don’t throw me in the middle of this.”
“What do you mean? Middle of what?” He leans back, offended by my statement.
I laugh, knowing exactly the kind of man Max can be. It’s not that I don’t want to tell him about Abby. It’s just that I don’t entirely know too much about her, other than what Lena has told me in the past. I’m not sure how much information I can actually give him.
And to be honest, my thoughts haven’t strayed far from Lena all day.
Ever since she stopped in for lunch, I haven’t been able to get her out of my head. She’s always consumed my thoughts, in more ways than one. But I know my wife well enough to know that she was off today. It was like that day I was late from coming back from taking inventory. Our marriage is beginning to feel like a literal rollercoaster. One minute we’re at the top of the hill, feeling the thrill of the first drop. But once the drop starts, it doesn’t end, barreling us down to the ground. It was beginning to feel exhausting trying to figure out a way for us to begin the climb back up to the top.
Lena had looked at me with hesitation in her eyes when she had seen me emerge from the kitchen. I had been distracted when she’d come unannounced, frustrated with Natalie’s lack of attention.
As Lena sat down at her table I could tell her mind was somewhere else. Her eyes were vacant yet again and I didn’t even know why.
There was this inherent feeling starting to brew inside me, gnawing at me, telling me that I needed to figure Lena out. Or else it would begin to tear my marriage apart at the seams. Stitch by stitch.
I sigh, sitting back in my desk chair, unsure if I have the mental capacity to talk with Max about his instant crush on Abby.
Max hasn’t always been known to be a one-woman kind of man. For as long as I’ve known him, he changes women as often as he changes the Sunday brunch menu.
I tap the tip of my pen against my desk and release a heavy breath, filtering through my past to see which details I’ve told Max before. I consider for a moment to disclose a bit more than what I’ve told him so far. He may be my boss, but he’s also the closest person I have to calling my friend. Maybe I could trust him with a little more. “She’s been friends with Lena since college,” I start. “I don’t know too much about her other than that she’s originally from California. I think she graduated with an accounting degree.”
“Where did her and Lena go to college?”
It’s an honest question. One that under normal circumstances wouldn’t make someone think twice about answering. But my past wasn’t normal, and neither was Lena’s. Julian was out there somewhere. The only thing worse than our decision to let Julian go was we didn’t know where he was. Or if he ever planned to show back up.
I decided to let my reservations about my past slip away. Max was a friend. A friend I could trust.
“Lena and Abby both graduated from Brown.”
Max’s eyebrows arch across his forehead. “You mean the one in Rhode Island?”
“Yeah, that’s where I’m from. Providence.”
“Huh.” Max closes his mouth and frowns in thought. “You must have a smart wife then, Logan. However do you keep up with a woman smarter than you are?”
I roll my eyes. “Shut up.”
“Anyway, do you know if she has a boyfriend?” He smirks.
“I don’t think so. You know, come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her with a boyfriend.”
“Well, I guess I’ll just have to find out when we have dinner Sunday night.” Max rubs his hands together in excitement. He’s acting as if he hasn’t been on a date with a woman in years when in reality, it’s probably only been a week.
If I didn’t already know the kind of man Max truly is, I would think he’s an asshole. But there are more times than not where he’s shown me he’s one of the most honest, genuine people I’ve ever met.
“So, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?” Max leans back in his seat, placing his phone face down on his desk. The only time he ever puts his phone away is when he’s discussing business. I’m thankful for his change of subject because it allows us to move on from our conversation about Abby and distracts me from my thoughts about Lena.
“Oh yeah.” I lean forward in my chair, peeking out through the open office door, hoping Natalie has actually gone home. When I don’t see her, I sit back and share my concerns with Max.
“I’m not so sure Natalie is right for the sous chef position.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Well, for one, when I was working with her on prep today, she wasn’t watching how I was slicing the ingredients or packaging them.”
“What do you mean she wasn’t watching you?” Max’s eyes thin to small slits, confused with where I’m going with the conversation. I sigh, knowing I can’t be vague with Max. He needs details.
“It was like every time I would show her, I’d look up to her just staring at me.”
“Staring at you?” His question comes out laced with humor.
“I’m not kidding.” I place my hand on my desk, shaking my head. “I know you think it’s funny but I’m serious. It was weird. Then I’d ask her to explain to me what I’d just shown her and she’d completely blank. She looked like a deer in headlights. I had to explain everything to her at least three times before she actually understood and did it correctly.”
“Hhmm.” Max rubs his chin, thinking. “I’m surprised because when I interviewed her and she took her skills test, she was excellent.”
“So, what do you want to do?”
“Well, I know I’m pretty particular on who I hire and since I’ve seen Natalie’s skills in the kitchen, I think she deserves another chance. Maybe she was having an off day.”
“Okay.” I’m surprised Max isn’t as concerned as I am about Natalie’s performance so far. I’ve seen him fire chefs for simply putting the wrong kind of salt on a dish before.
“I know you’re probably surp
rised that I’m giving her another chance,” he deadpans, as if he can read my mind. He doesn’t give me a chance to respond before he continues. “We really need her help, Logan. Like I said, I know she has what it takes, and I need someone with her skills to run the restaurant when you and I can’t be here. Especially since our reservations have gone up seventy-five percent in the past three months and with the fundraiser coming up with Gavin in just a couple of months, I need you and you need her. It’s as simple as that.”
“I understand.” I nod, agreeing. I know Max is right. He wants his restaurant to succeed, it won’t happen if he’s firing sous chefs left and right.
“Good.” Max picks up his phone, signaling he’s done talking business. But not before he adds one more detail. “Because I’m going to need you to come in every night this week and close with Natalie.”
“You’re kidding?” I scoff.
He shakes his head. “Nope. We have several meetings with Gavin starting in two weeks and I need you there. I need to trust her to close and I know you can teach her.”
“Okay.” I swallow. I’m not sure what it is but a part of me wonders how I’m going to figure out what’s going on between me and Lena when I’m stuck here every night training Natalie.
After my talk with Max, I texted Lena to let her know I was stopping by the store to grab a few ingredients for dinner before I was headed home.
She’d texted me back almost immediately, but I couldn’t help how her response only furthered my confusion. She’d only sent one word. Okay.
It was unlike Lena to text single words. If she did, she usually followed them up with some kind of emoji. The kissing face. The surprised face. Sometimes even an eggplant, which I always found hilarious.
Either way, Lena’s lack of communication had me slightly worried. The only part that put me at ease was how she had messaged me back almost immediately. That meant she was still safe.
I head to the grocery store, making sure to remove my chef jacket before going in, revealing the black T-shirt I’ve been wearing underneath. The thunderstorm that had passed this afternoon left a lingering heavy moisture in the air. My lungs inflate with the humid air as I jog into the store, splashing into a deep puddle on my way in. My shoe squeaks against the tile as I head straight for the produce aisle. I stop in front of the herbs, filtering through which one’s I’ll need to make dinner.
“Before I went to culinary school, I used to accidentally grab cilantro thinking it was parsley.” Natalie’s laugh stops me. I glance over my shoulder. She’s standing behind me, in front of the avocado display.
A small green basket dangles from her arm. She’s wearing a gray T-shirt and black leggings. A stark contrast to the chef jacket I’m used to seeing her wear when she’s at work.
She shrugs, slinking back in on herself. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s fine.” I smirk, thinking back to my conversation with Max earlier. I feel slightly guilty for speaking about her the way I did. But the guilt passes, knowing that in the culinary world, business is business. You can’t make it personal.
“How was the rest of the lunch shift?” she asks.
She’s making small talk. Great.
“It was steady. About the usual.”
“Good.” She averts her gaze, glancing around the shelves behind me. She’s nervous but I’m not sure why. Her distraction reminds me of how she’s been the past few times I’ve worked with her. “I got an email from Max a few minutes ago.”
“You did?” I swallow, hoping he didn’t bring up the conversation I had with him about her being distracted during our training.
“He said there was a change to my schedule next week. You’re going to train me to close every night.”
I nod. “Yes. We’re preparing for the event with Gavin James. We want to make sure you’re comfortable closing before we begin planning on the event.”
“Well,” She raises her shoulders, releasing out a heavy sigh. “I’m ready.”
“I hope so.” I smirk, hoping to lighten the mood. “I’m going to need your full focus.”
“Always.”
I fight back the urge to stare her down. What does she mean by ‘always’? As far as I could tell, she wasn’t paying attention at all.
“Anyway, I—” Natalie awkwardly steps forward. For a moment, I’m confused by her movement toward me. She’s eerily close and in what’s considered my personal space. She flinches back slightly before she steps forward again, reaching her arm out. I step to the side as she reaches behind me, grabbing a bundle of parsley. She checks the label wrapped around their stems then shows it to me before dropping them into her nearly empty basket. Her cheeks flush with red. “I need some parsley for lasagna. Wouldn’t taste as good with cilantro.”
“True.” It’s the only word I seem to be able to say right now. The awkward moment with Natalie doesn’t end. It suspends in the air between us. I can tell Natalie wants to stay and talk but I can’t and even if I could, I’m not sure I would want to.
“I should get going.”
“Oh, okay.” Natalie blinks, somehow surprised by my not-so-subtle exit.
“I’ll see you at work.” I give Natalie a goodbye smile, heading straight for the self-checkout. The faster I get out of here, the better.
An inexplicable feeling comes over me as I scan my three items and drop them into the paper bag I’ve set off to the side. I try not to glance up, seeing if Natalie is still hanging around. When I don’t see her, I chalk my feeling up to nothing. It’s been an odd day to say the least. All I feel like doing is going home to my wife, hoping she’ll be okay with us skipping dinner and going straight to bed.
Nine
Logan
All the sunlight has left the sky by the time I make it home. I didn’t intentionally try to be late. There was unusual traffic on the way home and no matter which way I’d tried to find a quicker way out, I was stuck.
The storm clouds that flooded the sky in the afternoon are now completely gone. The full moon hangs above, shining like a bright white orb.
I grab my paper bag and punch in the code to our security system. It beeps three times, signaling to Lena that I’m home.
The living room and hallway are dark. The only source of light peeks out from the top of the stairs, coming from the direction of our bedroom. I drop the bag on the kitchen counter and look up the stairs to find Lena standing at the top.
“I’m home.” I smile at her.
She hesitates, her chest moving in and out. I can’t tell from where I’m standing but she looks like she’s almost struggling for a breath, like she just ran the Boston marathon.
Finally, she gives me a small smile, the corners of her full lips turning up at the corners. She’s wearing a thin strapped tank top that hugs her curves, accentuating her full chest. Her gray sweatpants stop at her calves, the ends rolled up along the smooth skin of her legs.
She doesn’t say a word, unmoving from the top of the stairs.
“I was going to make some dinner if you’re hungry.” I keep my smile plastered on my face like a love drunk idiot. I’m not sure why, but it’s the same feeling I had when I had first met Lena. Nervous and scared to make the wrong move.
Only this time, instead of it being first date jitters, it’s because she’s been acting different ever since she stopped by for lunch today.
She places her hand on her stomach and clears her throat. “Actually, I’m still pretty full from lunch.”
I tilt my head to the side and rub my fingers against the scruff lining my jaw. I walk toward the bottom of the stairs, tipping my chin up to get a better view of her. She’s covered in shadows. The light coming from our room illuminates behind her. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah.” She brushes her hair back away from her face. Her smile has faded. “Of course. I’m just not that hungry and I was watching some TV in bed.”
“Do you want me to come up there and join you?”
“If you want.” She shrugs.
“Okay. I’ll be up in a minute.”
With that, she disappears down the hall, back to our bedroom.
I start cleaning up a bit of the downstairs, taking the time to think about Lena. As she stood there at the top of the stairs, only thirteen steps between us, it felt like miles. There was a bigger space between us than there was earlier today. We’ve coasted down that first hill and now we’re back down at the bottom of the rollercoaster track.
When I make it upstairs, I find Lena under the thick sheets of our bed. She’s propped herself up on the headboard, the remote perched in her hands. She’s staring at the screen. I follow her gaze to see what she’s watching.
“Tiger King, huh?” I smirk, removing my shirt and my pants before crawling in the bed to join her. “I’ve heard about this show at work.”
“I’m on episode two. Did you know it only cost a thousand dollars to buy a tiger?”
“What?” I laugh.
Lena doesn’t move from her spot, keeping her focus on the show. “Yeah, apparently anyone can buy a tiger.”
Finally, she rolls her head against the headboard, her eyes locking on mine.
“Are you saying you want to buy a tiger, Lena?”
A breath escapes the small space between her pouted lips. “No.” She shakes her head back and forth. The movements are small, giving me a small shred of hope that she’s content with her life. The Lena I married is slowly beginning to reveal herself. Maybe she’s just having an off day.
There’s an ache in my stomach I hadn’t noticed until now. An ache, hoping my wife is as happy in this marriage as I am. Did we make the right choices? Am I really giving her the life she deserves?
Lena doesn’t keep her eyes locked on mine very long. She turns back to Joe Exotic, watching his crazy life unfold on the TV screen. We don’t talk for the next hour, allowing the show to play out.
We laugh together on the funny moments. But when those singular moments pass, I watch Lena. Her face glows against the flashing lights coming from the TV. I want to shake her, beg her to tell me what’s going on in that gorgeous, intelligent head of hers. But I don’t, in fear of what the answer might be.
Mine: A Romantic Suspense Thriller (A Back to Me Series Book 2) Page 8
