by J. O Mantel
When Hunter returned to the kitchen, Stephanie was standing at the counter, her arms crossed and a sorrowful expression on her face.
“Is everything okay?” Hunter asked.
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m just really tired, and to be honest, I’ve been really worried about Andy. It’s the only thing I’ve been thinking about for the last couple of days.”
“I’m doing okay.” A voice from behind prompted Stephanie to turn around, her gaze now meeting Andy’s.
“Hi, I’m Stephanie,” she said, reaching out a hand.
“I know who you are. Hunter hasn’t stopped talking about you since we left the hospital.”
Hunter poured the three of them some coffee, before remembering that his mother and Lili were in the other room.
“Will you two excuse me for a moment?” he stood and walked out of the room.
“How is everything going out there?” his mother asked.
“It’s a little tense, I mean, they haven’t said very much, but I can tell Stephanie feels weird about it all.”
Judith gave her son a comforting look. “You’re a great friend, you know that, right? Andy’s very lucky to have you.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Well, I think my services are no longer required here. Lili’s changed her clothes, I’ve put the washing on, and there’s plenty of leftover dinner in the oven.”
“Mom, you didn’t have to do that.” Hunter smiled.
“I know, but I wanted to. I’m going to head home and give the four of you some privacy. If you need anything at all, just call me.”
“Thank you, Mom,” Hunter told her again.
She grabbed her purse, and as she walked through the living room, she gave Andy a soothing smile before she shook hands with Stephanie and excused herself.
Andy and Stephanie hadn’t said very much to one another; every time there was mention of the club or anything that had happened that night, things got … extremely tense.
“Stephanie, I’m responsible for my own actions. I’m the one who made the choice to leave the club that night, and there was nothing that you or Hunter could have done that would have stopped me. So please, can we just drop this and move on with our lives?”
Stephanie couldn’t understand how Andy was being so calm about all this. She was concerned that it may be some sort of delayed reaction. She didn’t want to intrude, after all, she hardly knew Andy, but it didn’t help the sinking feeling in her gut, that there was more to this than Andy was letting on.
“I promise I’m okay, please don’t worry,” Andy said, noticing the worried expression on her face.
Although not entirely convinced, Stephanie didn’t push. While she was concerned, she had no right interfering in Andy’s life, and if Andy told her that everything was okay, then she needed to believe that
Stephanie said her goodbyes, grabbed her purse, and headed for the door. With one final look at Andy and Hunter, she smiled before walking through the door and out onto the street.
“She’s nice, really nice,” Andy said. “But she needs to stop worrying about me … both of you do. I’m fine. I can’t let this ordeal become some sick and infectious disease that’s going to stay with me for the rest of my life. I need it to end … now. No more looking at me weird. No more smothering, and no more blaming yourselves, okay? This all ends now!”
“I’m sorry,” Hunter said. “It’s just … after my father, and Bree … I’m kind of—”
“On edge?” Andy cut in.
“I guess you could say that. I don’t mean to be. It’s just that I care about you, Andy, and I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
“It’s not your job to save me, Hunter. Your job is to be a loving father to that little girl of yours, because one day, she might be the one who needs saving.”
In every way, shape, and form, Andy was right. As much as Hunter cared about Andy, Lili was his priority. While he was financially stable and in a secure environment, he was also … single. He enjoyed waking up every day to the sound of his daughter’s voice, and he loved the occasional visit from his mother, but it wasn’t the same as waking up with Bree beside him in their bed. He missed her company, her scent, and her clothes. He missed her jokes and her stories, but most of all, he missed her laughs and her touch. Hunter wasn’t even sure he had the whole dad thing right, but he’d be damned if he let himself give up now. He owed it to Lili, and most important, he owed it to Bree, to be the father he’d promised he would be.
“Is that brain of yours talking again?” Andy’s voice tore through Hunter’s thoughts.
“What?”
“Seriously, that look on your face right now, it was like you were miles away,” Andy laughed.
“I never told you how Bree died, did I?”
Hunter’s question was so random and forward, that Andy didn’t know how to respond.
“You … you said she died of cancer, right?”
“Chronic leukemia,” Hunter began. “But you didn’t know that she died in my arms, did you?” he asked.
“Hunter, you don’t need to tell me this.”
“No … I want to. The only other person I’ve told is Mom, and maybe if I shared it with someone else, someone other than family, it might help me with some of the pain.”
Andy sat still on the couch and looked at Hunter, not quite sure what to say or do. Hunter had never shared his story about the day Bree died with anyone, and as Andy stared at Hunter, Andy knew this was absolutely something he needed to do. Hunter stood and walked over to the door, closing it, but leaving it slightly ajar so he could hear if Lili called out to him. He’d never told Lili how her mother died, since he was still trying to come to terms with it himself, but he didn’t want her to hear this conversation and have her asking all sorts of complex questions he wasn’t sure he’d be able to answer. He sat beside Andy, and with every ounce of strength he had inside him, he allowed himself to go back to that haunting day by the lake near their cottage.
“WHAT ON EARTH did you pack in here, bricks?” Hunter asked, heaving the suitcase into the trunk.
“You know me, I’m not one to travel lightly,” Bree replied with a smile.
“It’s just a weekend,” Hunter reminded her.
“A very long … peaceful … and romantic weekend,” Bree told him in between kisses.
Hunter wrapped his arms around his wife’s waist and pulled her in for a deeper kiss. His in-laws had agreed to look after Lili for the weekend, so Hunter could spend their wedding anniversary and Valentine’s Day down at their small cottage, just near the Woodstock Inn. They got in the car, but after only a few miles, Hunter pulled into a grocery store.
“What are you doing?” Bree asked.
“I need to buy some supplies. I just realized we have nothing to drink down at the cottage.”
They both got out of the car, and as Hunter headed for the store, Bree walked to the back of the car and stared out into the parking lot. She was pale, the color drained from her face, and she had bags under her eyes from lack of sleep.
“Are you all right?” Hunter asked.
“I’m fine, just a little tired, and I really need some air if we’re going to be on the road for the next two hours or so.”
“Okay, as long as you’re sure?”
“I’m fine,” she told him.
Hunter gently pressed his lips to hers before heading into the supermarket. Bree placed her hands on her hips and took a step forward into the parking lot. A gentle breeze brushed over her as she stood and thought about how much her life had changed since meeting Hunter, and how lucky she was to have such a beautiful family. She was blessed, and even now, as she fought the toughest battle of her life, Hunter was still by her side, every step of the way. She watched as mothers took their children out of their cars and strapped them into their strollers, while some were returning to their vehicles with carts full of groceries. She folded her arms across her ches
t as Hunter approached her, carrying two bags of groceries.
Bree peered inside the bags before rolling her eyes at Hunter. “Are you serious?” she asked him.
“What? I know this looks like a lot of junk food, but we have a two-hour drive ahead of us. Not to mention, the cottage is out in the middle of nowhere, and there’s not a supermarket around for miles,” he said, shifting something into his cheek.
“Wait … are you … do you have something in your mouth right now?” Bree questioned.
“I … ah … maybe,” Hunter laughed.
“I do know about your secret stash, you know.”
“What secret stash?” Hunter asked innocently.
“The one in the bottom drawer of the nightstand, and then there’s the one in the vegetable compartment of the fridge, you know, the one you stuff full of vegetables in hopes that I won’t find the chocolate underneath.”
Hunter gave her a wicked grin and leaned in for a kiss.
“I’m on to you, Mr. Cassidy. Nothing gets past me.”
“But you love me, right?” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers once more, and Bree could taste the chocolate on his lips.
“You know what, eat whatever you want, just don’t come bitching to me when you can’t fit into those sexy skinny jeans of yours that I love so much.”
Hunter blushed and lowered his head in embarrassment.
“Why are you blushing? I’ve seen you in less than jeans before, Hunter.” Bree winked.
“I think we should get going if we want to get there before dark,” Hunter said, grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the car.
As they drove along the deserted highway, Hunter turned and looked at his wife. She was still pale and seemed even more fragile than earlier, but Hunter simply put it down to fatigue and the cancer weakening her body. She’d been having intense chemotherapy for weeks, and while the doctors told her it would slow down the spread of the cancer, it would also only prolong her life by a couple of years at most. She didn’t want to spend what very little time she had left in pain, and unable to play with her daughter, so she’d asked to have her dosage reduced, but she hadn’t told Hunter. She wanted to make sure he and Lili were safe and happy so she could leave the world peacefully. Bree opened her window and allowed the cool air to blow across her face.
“I don’t want a funeral,” Bree said, turning to Hunter.
“What?” he replied, slightly taken back by her statement.
“I know we have to do something, I just don’t want the fuss of a funeral. Those things are expensive, and I would much rather we put the money toward a college fund for Lili, or something else you want,” she said.
“What I want is for us to not talk about this right now,” Hunter replied, holding back the urge to burst into tears.
“Well, we’re going to have to talk about it sooner or later, and we have time now, so…”
“No, this… this weekend is supposed to be about fun and us spending some time together, not for you to be thinking about something that’s not going to happen for a while anyway.”
“I want a memorial, just something small down by the 9/11 memorial site. And I don’t want anyone wearing black, you know I hate the color. I want something out there like purple, or blue.”
“We have the best doctors in New York looking after you. You need to stop talking like this, like you’re giving up.”
“I’m not giving up. I just think we need to be prepared for when the time comes, and I’m letting you know what I want.”
She yawned before lowering her head slightly, and Hunter could see that she was slowly closing her eyes.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m fine,” she replied, placing her hand over her mouth to stop the horrible feeling in her stomach from making its way up her throat.
As they continued driving a little further, Bree started to lower her head again and closed her eyes.
“That’s it, I’m pulling over,” Hunter insisted.
“No. Please, let’s just get there. The more you pull over, the more it adds to our travel time. Let’s face it, Hunter, I don’t really want to be trapped in here for the next two hours listening to you try and serenade me with your awful singing.”
“What? You’ve never complained about my singing before.”
“Well, that’s because I haven’t had to listen to it for two hours straight.”
She was trying to put on a brave face and smile, but deep down, her insides were churning, and she felt like she was going to be sick at any moment.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Hunter asked.
“Yeah… I think it’s just car sickness, and you know, maybe a bit of the chemo.”
“Are you sure that’s all it is?” Hunter questioned.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Look, how about we pull over, just for a few minutes, to stretch our legs? We have the entire weekend together, getting there a few minutes later isn’t going to ruin our plans.”
She hesitated before finally replying. “Okay.”
Hunter pulled into a nearby rest stop, and the two of them stepped out of the car.
“Here, have some water. I’m just going to go and pee.” Hunter handed her a bottle of water, and headed toward the restrooms, while Bree waited by the car. She tried to unscrew the lid from the bottle, but her fingers were so weak she was barely able to hold it. She looked up, and with blurred vision, she noticed Hunter walking into the toilet. Her hearing had deteriorated rapidly over the last couple of weeks, and while she’d kept it well hidden from Hunter, there were times when she’d had to read his lips to make out exactly what he was saying. However, in recent days, her vision had also deteriorated significantly.
She placed the bottle back in the car and started walking along the path toward a small ledge that looked out over the river they’d stopped near. She could hear Hunter call her from behind, but she was too weak to reply. His voice got louder, and she knew he was only a few feet behind her when she finally turned around. Her eyes met with his, relief sweeping over his face as he gave her a smile.
“What are you doing over here?” he asked.
“Just looking at this view, it’s beautiful,” she said.
Hunter wrapped his arms around her waist, and she brushed her hand across his forearm. As the gentle breeze swept over them, Bree shivered slightly.
“You’re cold,” Hunter said.
“A little.”
“Come on, let’s get back to the car.”
“No, no, let’s just stay here for a few more minutes,” she whispered.
Hunter leaned in closer toward Bree so that his body was pressing against hers, trying to eliminate as much of the wind as possible. Bree rubbed his back gently as she kissed his shoulder before resting her head on it. Hunter’s phone buzzed, and as he pulled it out of his pocket, he noticed his mother’s name on the screen.
“It’s Mom, she wants to FaceTime.”
Hunter answered the call as his mother came into frame. “Hi, Mom.”
“Hello, you two. I’m really sorry to bother you, but there’s someone here who insists on talking to you before I put her down for her nap. I just picked her up from your parents place, Bree.”
Hunter could see his mother turn the phone around so that it was now facing their daughter.
“Hello, sweetheart,” Bree’s gentle voice carried through the phone.
“Hi, Momma.” Lili smiled back at her.
“Hello, angel,” Hunter said.
“Hi, Dada.”
“You be a good little girl and go to sleep for Grandma, okay?” Bree told her.
Lili nodded.
“Go to sleep, princess. Mommy and Daddy will see you in a few days,” Hunter said.
“I love you precious.” Bree’s voice was barely audible as she brushed a finger across the screen at her daughter.
“Lub you, Mama,” Lili w
himpered.
“Sleep tight, princess, don’t let the bed bugs bite,” Hunter told her before he hung up the phone.
Bree stared longingly into Hunter’s eyes, and he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her temple.
“Are you good to go?” he asked.
“Yeah… let’s do this,” she told him.
They slowly made their way back to the car, and once they were seated, Hunter put on his collaboration of the eighties as they started on their journey once more.
“Hey … um, I think we should sign Lili up for recital lessons,” Bree said.
“Recital? Don’t you think she’s a bit young for that?”
“I’m not saying she needs to do it now, but maybe in a few years when she’s older. Every time we go to the mall together, she makes me stop at the music store so she can dance in her stroller.”
“Why the sudden bucket list?” Hunter questioned.
“It’s not a bucket list, it’s for our daughter. I just want her to be happy and have everything she wants. I want that for both of you. You and I have never had alone time to just sit and discuss Lili’s future, this is the perfect opportunity.”
“I guess. But you do realize that you’re going to be present for every single one of those recital sessions, right?” Hunter was starting to get slightly upset with all this sudden talk of things they should be doing before it was too late.
“Yeah, I know,” Bree replied softly.
“Do you? Seriously? Because the way you’re speaking right now … you’re kind of freaking me out.”
“Hunter, that’s not what I’m trying to do. I don’t want to freak you out. I’m just trying to make conversation about something important.”
She started to feel claustrophobic again, so she opened the window and allowed the cool air to blow across her face as they continued their trip.
They’d been driving for a while, and Bree was drifting in and out of sleep, a couple of times Hunter had to speak to her to make sure she was okay. She raised her head, and Hunter noticed tears in her eyes.
“What’s wrong? Do you want me to pull over?” he asked.
“No. I’m sorry. I just … I hate feeling like this. I hate not knowing what happens when you die.”
