“You okay, Grandpa?”
“Yes.” He realized the truck door was open, waiting for him to get in. “Yes, I’m okay.”
But he wasn’t okay. His thoughts had drifted to the worst that could happen. What if he were to lose Helen for good? He wasn’t ready for that. How could he be?
He supposed he thought about death as much as most people his age. He knew he and Helen were far closer to their eternal reward than to their births. He didn’t fear death. This world wasn’t his real home. But if he were to lose Helen? It was too soon for that. Much too soon.
Not enough years, Lord. We haven’t had enough years together. Heal her, please.
Grant waited while Andrew stepped up into the truck, then hurried around to the driver seat.
“I’m not hungry,” Andrew said, closing his eyes against twin stabs of pain, one in his back, the other in his heart. “Let’s just go home.”
They drove through downtown Boise without speaking. Andrew sensed his grandson looking at him with quick glances, but he kept his own gaze fastened straight ahead, his emotions too strong for words. Stopped at a red light, Grant turned the knob on the radio. A familiar song played through the speaker above the noise of the truck’s engine. Andrew didn’t care for most of what passed for music these days, but he liked Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. And he liked this song.
“. . . this guy’s in love with you . . .”
Tears sprang to his eyes. You see this guy, Helen. He’s in love with you. He’s always been in love with you, and he can’t manage without you. Not really. He drew a ragged breath. Make me strong, Jesus. Keep me strong for my girl.
Chapter 10
Jed stood in one of the pastures, running his hand over a tall black gelding’s back while Ben explained more of the equine therapy operations. The sun was warm on his shoulders, the hint of a breeze bringing the smells of spring with it.
Ben stopped talking, then asked, “What?”
Jed shook his head, not understanding.
“There’s something about the way you looked just then. Made me wonder what you were thinking.”
He laughed. “I’m not sure.” But that wasn’t true. “I was thinking this probably beats working in an office for ten to fourteen hours a day.”
“But you love what you do.”
“True. I do love it. But I have to admit, this is nice for a change. There’s something to be said for sunshine and fresh air and horses. I’d forgotten how much I like it. And what you’re doing for the people who come here.” He shook his head again. “It’s amazing.” He didn’t add that he envied Ben for having such a strong sense of God’s call and direction on his life.
“I can’t argue. It is amazing.” Ben’s gaze moved to the house. “And I never would have managed without Ashley’s help.”
“I can believe that.”
“You don’t have to sound so sure.” Ben punched him lightly on the arm. “Now come on. My stomach tells me it must be close to dinnertime.”
Jed gave the horse one final pat, then turned and fell into step beside his cousin. “Your grandpa said you’re doing a horseback wedding here on the farm.”
“Yeah. It was Ashley’s idea.”
“And you’d do whatever it takes to make her happy.”
“Guilty as charged.”
“Lucky Ben.”
Ben’s laughter was a sound of agreement. He was still grinning as they climbed the steps to the porch and went into the house, Ben leading the way. Delicious odors greeted them.
“Hey, you two are just in time.” Ashley appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. “Go wash up. We’re about to get dinner on the table.” She put one hand to the side of her mouth and, in a stage whisper, added, “It’s much better than expected, thanks to Holly.”
“I didn’t do anything,” Holly said from somewhere out of view.
Ashley mouthed, Yes, she did, before she, too, disappeared from sight.
The two men took turns washing their hands in the bathroom sink, then went to the kitchen table where the meal awaited them—fried chicken, tossed salad, mashed potatoes, gravy, and biscuits.
As Ashley took her seat, she said, “There wouldn’t be gravy or biscuits if Holly hadn’t been here. And I would have burned the chicken if she hadn’t been watching it.”
Ben leaned to his right, toward Holly. “Then, may I say, thanks again for coming.”
Jed watched the blush rise in Holly’s cheeks. He loved the way the extra color made her eyes appear even more blue than usual.
“Let’s give thanks so we can eat.” Ben offered a hand to the women on either side of him, and Jed completed the circle. After the blessing, the serving dishes quickly began making their rounds.
Jed smiled as he remembered other times in this kitchen with members of his extended family. There’d been one particular rousing game of spoons with so many people crammed into the room they were lucky there’d been enough oxygen to breathe. He didn’t recall the rules of the game. Only that at a certain point, spoons had been grabbed from the center of the table, one less than there were people playing. Lots of shouting and laughter had been a large part of the mix. He supposed he’d been no more than seven or eight, so Chris would have been too young to join in, although, knowing his brother, the kid would have tried.
“We haven’t registered for gifts yet.” Ashley’s voice drew Jed’s attention back to the present. “But I suppose we should. I don’t know what I should ask for. I’m not much of a homemaker. I’d rather be out with Ben and the horses.”
Holly glanced around the small kitchen. “Ben doesn’t have much in the way of pots and pans. What about you?”
“Even less than he has,” Ashley answered with a shrug. “And where would we put them if we had much more?”
“You could hang them from the ceiling over there.” Holly indicated the place with a tip of her head. “With the right cookware, it can be attractive. I could give you some suggestions, if you’d like.”
Ashley turned toward Ben. “Do you think marriage will domesticate me?”
The look the couple exchanged was filled with love and joy—it was almost palpable—and Jed felt an unexpected flash of envy for what his cousin had found with Ashley.
* * *
It had been ages since Holly enjoyed an evening as much as she was enjoying this one. Ben and Ashley were easy to know and easy to be with. She liked them both and was convinced friendship with them had already begun.
Since moving from Thunder Creek to Boise, Holly had gained plenty of friendly acquaintances, especially at her new church, but so far she hadn’t made any close friends. That was her own fault, of course. She’d been focused on other things, mostly keeping her restaurant afloat. But it would be nice to have somebody other than her sisters and parents to call when she felt stressed or to go with to a movie or a sporting event or something.
Her gaze shifted to Jed, observing him as the foursome lingered around the table. The evidence of dinner had long since been cleared away. All that remained were mugs of decaf coffee along with plenty of laughter as Ben and Jed shared memories from their childhoods. The Hennings were a large family. She’d lost count of the many aunts, uncles, and cousins—first, second, and third, as well as a few once-, twice-, and thrice-removed varieties. Lots of the memories the two men shared were set here in this house and on the surrounding acreage, back when it had been a working farm.
It was obvious that Jed enjoyed reminiscing about his family. Holly could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. But there were moments when she glimpsed something despondent, too, as if his thoughts had gone some place less happy for an instant. She wondered what was behind it.
Jed looked at the clock on the wall, and genuine surprise crossed his face. “Is that really the time?”
“On the nose,” Ben answered.
Jed’s gaze shifted to Holly. “I’d better get you home.”
She hated for the evening to end but knew he was right. Turn
ing toward Ben and Ashley, she said, “Thanks for such a wonderful evening. I loved learning about your therapy barn. Maybe next time you do a fund-raiser, I could donate some desserts to sell.”
“That would be fabulous.” Ashley took Ben’s hand. “Let’s not forget that offer.”
He nodded. “We won’t.”
Jed stood, then stepped over to hold Holly’s chair for her. The simple gesture made her feel pampered. How long had it been since she’d felt that way? Or even trusted a man enough to let him make her feel that way?
“Thanks,” she whispered, her pulse suddenly erratic.
Jed led the way into the narrow entry where Holly collected her purse and sweater from a small table. Ben and Ashley followed them out onto the porch.
“We’ll see you at church in the morning,” Ashley said.
“See you there,” Jed returned as he and Holly descended the steps.
At the car, Jed reached to open the door for her, then stopped. “Look.”
She followed his gaze toward the west. The sun had dropped from sight, its final rays painting scattered clouds in shades of lavender, pink, and peach. “Beautiful.”
“Yes.”
“My mom calls a sky like that God’s finger painting.” She turned from the sunset to look at Jed again.
“Good description.” His eyes shifted to her.
The way he looked at her made her feel seen, truly seen. Made her think he was the type of man who could care, the type of man who could be honest and steady and true. A more trusting Holly would have been tempted to lean forward and kiss him over the top of the car door. The woman she had once been might have done that. But she wasn’t that same Holly. She didn’t trust herself. Jed was likable in many ways, but he wasn’t worth the risk. No, she’d worked too hard to piece her wounded heart back together to be careless with it now.
Lowering her gaze, she sank onto the car seat. Oh, please don’t let him guess my thoughts.
“Thanks for joining me tonight,” Jed said as he got behind the wheel and started the car.
“It was fun. Ben and Ashley make a great couple.”
“That’s what I think. Fascinating what they’re doing with the farm. Maybe next time we visit there’ll be an equine therapy session in progress. That would be interesting to see.”
“Next time”? “We”? This was Trixie’s fault. Her little sister had put crazy notions in her head that made those words mean more than they should. Holly didn’t want or need romantic complications in her life. Especially the kind that couldn’t have a happy ending. She’d been there, done that, and owned the T-shirt.
Saturday, July 26, 1969
Andrew kept a close eye on Helen in the days immediately after she came home from the hospital. And not only Andrew. Their children along with their spouses, not to mention most of their grandchildren, came out to the farm to check on her.
“Will everyone stop fussing?” Helen said several times each day. “I’m perfectly all right.”
No one paid attention to that command.
Their son Ben, back from one of his flights, came to the farm on Saturday. He sat with Andrew at the kitchen table, sipping coffee while his wife visited with Helen, Grant, and Charlotte in the living room.
“You should sell the farm, Dad.”
“I’m not ready for that.” He didn’t tell his eldest boy that he’d thought the same thing not all that long ago. But it wasn’t what he wanted, and it wasn’t what Helen wanted either.
“It’s too much for you. Who knows how long you’ll have trouble with your back? Maybe for the rest of your life. Especially if you don’t take proper care of yourself. And Mom shouldn’t be doing all that she does either. You could get a nice price for this property, enough to settle into a retirement community and live in comfort.”
“Your mother would hate it. She likes it here. We both do.”
Ben leaned slightly forward. “How is she, really?”
“She seems herself. She’s trying to follow the doctor’s orders. More exercise. Changes in her diet, such as less meat and more vegetables. She’s taking a walk each morning. Not long ones yet, but long enough. Grant goes with her before he leaves for work.”
“Sounds good. But what if she has another one of those TIA things? Or a full-out stroke? What if she was paralyzed and bedridden? You wouldn’t be able to take care of her by yourself.”
Borrowing trouble. It was hard not to do. Hard for everyone. All Andrew could do was shake his head.
“You’re way out here in the boonies, Dad. How long did it take for the ambulance to get here after you called them? How long before they got her to the hospital?”
“I’m really not sure. Felt like forever.” He remembered the ambulance ride into Boise. He’d been allowed to accompany his wife, holding her hand the entire way, his heart screaming as loud as the siren.
“See? If you were in a retirement community, help would be much closer at hand.”
Grant walked into the kitchen. For a moment he looked at his dad and granddad at the table, and then he moved to the coffeepot and refilled his mug.
Andrew sighed as his gaze returned to Ben. “I don’t want your mother to be unhappy, and I’m afraid leaving the farm, leaving this house, would make her so. All her memories are tied up here. We talked about it before, and she made certain I knew she didn’t want that. Not as long as we could possibly stay.”
“Are you talking about selling the farm again?” Grant asked, taking one of the empty chairs.
“Your father thinks we should.”
“But I’m here. You don’t have to worry about anything except taking care of Grandma.”
Ben cleared his throat. “You won’t be here forever, Grant. You’re getting married in the fall.”
“Well . . .” Grant drew out the word. “Maybe Charlotte and I should move in here after the wedding.”
Ben gaped for a moment. “You must be joking.”
“I’m not.”
“What would Charlotte think?”
“She says she’s okay with it, Dad. We talked about it already.”
Andrew remembered moving into this house as a newlywed, with his in-laws. Overall, the two couples had gotten along well. Still, it hadn’t been ideal. Especially when being the woman of the house had passed from his mother-in-law to his wife. It had been a strain at times.
Grant looked Andrew in the eyes, his gaze serious. “Grandpa, you and Grandma raised five kids in this house, and your mother-in-law lived with you for a lot of that time. That was eight people living in this house. Why couldn’t four of us do it? There’s three bedrooms down here, plus the loft bedroom.”
“But there’s only one bathroom, and the living room and kitchen are small.”
“Charlotte and I don’t need a lot of room. We’re not gonna have much between the two of us, even with wedding gifts.” He leaned forward, his coffee mug on the table, pressed between his hands. “And maybe we could figure out a way for us to buy the farm eventually so it wouldn’t have to leave the family.”
Andrew felt a quickening in his chest. That same idea had been swirling around in his mind for a couple of weeks.
“You two are crazy.” Ben rose from his chair. “But you’re going to do what you’re going to do. I’ve learned that through the years.” He headed into the living room.
Andrew drew a steadying breath. “You’re sure Charlotte’s willing?” he asked Grant. “What if your grandmother takes a turn for the worst? Running the house could fall on your bride’s shoulders. And it’s different being a guest in a home and sharing a home, even among those who love one another.”
“She can handle it. We can handle it.”
“Well, then. We have a lot to pray about, you and I. Don’t we?”
Chapter 11
Jed was glad Holly agreed to ride with him to church the next morning. They were headed to the same destination. It was simply common sense to go together. At least that’s what he told himself as they walked
toward the entry doors. Inside, he asked if she would like something from the coffee bar.
She shook her head. “No, thanks.”
“Well, I need a tall one. I got up too late to make my own. Wait for me here?”
This time she nodded.
He got into the queue, feeling impatient. Was it eagerness for his morning shot of caffeine or that he wanted to get back to Holly? They’d had a great time yesterday with Ben and Ashley, but something had changed between saying their goodbyes to their hosts at the farm and arriving at Holly’s house. She’d seemed withdrawn and even reluctant to look at him. Maybe it shouldn’t matter so much, but he didn’t like the idea of her pulling away from him, from their budding friendship.
The reaction puzzled him. His relationships with women had always come second, first to his higher education, then to his work. More than one of the women he’d dated through the years—attractive women, nice women, interesting women—had grown tired of waiting for him to become more involved. Some had told him their feelings. Others had simply disappeared. And, to be honest, he’d never minded much.
But when it came to Holly, he did mind. He didn’t want her to disappear from his life, even though he couldn’t say she was actually in it to start with. How strange was that?
He glanced over his shoulder and discovered Holly talking to a girl with a toddler in her arms. Holly smiled as she touched the little boy’s cheek, then said something to the young mother. At least he assumed she was the mom. Maybe she was a sister to the little boy.
His turn to order arrived, and he gave his full attention to the volunteer barista behind the counter. A short while later, a tall black coffee in hand, he made his way back to Holly. The younger woman was still talking to her. As he stepped close, they both turned to look at him.
“Jed, I want you to meet Willow Flynn and her son, AJ. Willow has taken my cooking classes recently. This is her first time at Covenant Fellowship. Willow, this is a friend of mine, Jed Henning. He’s visiting Boise, so he’s new to Covenant too.”
How Sweet It Is Page 10
