by Sarah Ivens
• Gingham in pastel shades nudges memories of farm visits as a child, lambing season and chirping chicks. Use this pattern for a tablecloth and napkins, inside and out. Go all out at Easter. It’s the only other time, apart from Christmas, that more is more and colors and sparkle should steal the show from the food itself. Dye eggs in different shades and place them as a centerpiece on tables. Make edible bird’s nests out of breakfast cereal, bonded with melted chocolate and fill with sugar-coated chocolate eggs to leave on each placemat.
• Fill Mason jars with pebbles, water, mini lily pads and blossoms as centerpieces.
• Allow guests to make their own cordials. Leave out a variety of flavors in different colors in crystal decanters, with an ice bucket, and still and sparkling water.
• Forget heavy dinners, serve an afternoon tea—delicate cakes and finger sandwiches decorated with mustard and cress and springtime edible flowers—it’s easily transported in a hamper from home to garden if the weather allows. Or go for the more rustic farmhouse tea, serving platters of meats, cheeses and chutneys, scones and clotted cream, on family-style trestle tables.
Summer shindigs
• Throw a Hawaiian-themed party, day or night. Flip-flops, bright flowery shirts and leis required. Decorate the table with seashells and serve coconut cocktails in Tiki cups. If you have one, a surfboard lying horizontal would make a fun bar. Shaved ice is the treat of the islands, so invest in a slushy machine for a cooling treat.
• For a garden party, thread seashells with string and hang them in the summer breeze. Use glitter spray for sunset sparkle.
• On a very hot day, for a special occasion where you want everyone outside, think about providing parasols, fans or shady spots for guests. Wigwams and teepees are having a moment and are getting prettier and cheaper by the day, too.
• Ornate bowls of blue water filled with floating candles and petals makes a Zen-like water garden.
• A Raj-style tent in bedazzling jewel colors will make an extra room in the yard if you’re short on space. Give the area a specific purpose: chill-out zone, bar area or dance floor.
• Two words: string lights. During long, hot summer evenings spent outdoors, you can never have too many string lights.
• Move your barbecue away from burgers, sausages and curdled coleslaw and into the sweet Southern style of pulled pork, brisket and green beans. Bourbon is the drink to offer alongside this—a warming, sweet cocktail like a Manhattan is perfect for a summer’s night.
• Leave sticks of candy-striped rock on place settings, napkins or in jars next to the bar for some retro sweetness.
• Bunting on a summer’s day is the most charming thing, reminiscent of summer fêtes of yesteryear. String it between trees for a country-charm look.
• Paint pebbles you’ve found on the beach as place markers for people, or fold paper boats to write people’s names on.
• Make pitchers of iced-cold lemonade and serve with cheese and crackers. The combo works, I promise.
• Thinking about hiring entertainment? Nothing says summer fun quicker than a steel drum band, and the rhythmic melodies take you to the beach in a second. It’s a real treat if you’re throwing your gathering in a city. Salsa or samba tunes will do the same.
• Serve mini portions of fish and chips in old newspaper (minus the seagulls).
• Go back to your youth. Provide a selection of water pistols, water balloons and a paddling pool for guests to have fun with.
• Evenings do get chilly, even in August, so if you want guests to hover outside in the great outdoors, do think about providing blankets or outdoor heaters, or see if you could make a bonfire.
• Have a popsicle party. Make your own ice pops from fresh fruit juice and herbal tea, stuffed with natural beautifiers such as berries, or buy some. Everyone loves a lick.
Autumn amusements
• As the nights draw in, light up your soirées with candles. Be inventive. Tea lights in pumpkins, grand candelabras, clusters of church candles in corners. Be safe and be scented—burn autumnal scents like cinnamon and pumpkin.
• Use the variety of fallen colored leaves and twigs—and orange and silver glitter spray—to decorate mantelpieces and tables.
• Shine up some acorns or chestnuts and tie them with a mini nametag for place settings.
• Carve pumpkins and place in groups at the entrance to your gathering, in the hall or as a table centerpiece.
• Get ready for the Oscars with an outdoor movie night, serving edible golden glitter cupcakes, popcorn and glasses of champagne. For extra lights, camera, action, light sparklers at the end of the movie for a group selfie, twirling the name of your favorite actor in the night sky.
• A cotton candy or popcorn machine offers all the fun of the fair at your house.
• Apple-bobbing for adults isn’t elegant, but it is fun. Set up a booth in the garden.
• Go all Idaho with a DIY loaded baked potato stand: pile up the taters and leave out wish dishes of help-yourself baked beans, pepperjack cheese, butter, chili and sour cream.
• Serve mini toad-in-the-holes (or pigs in a blanket) as bite-sized treats if you’re throwing a cocktail party.
• At a Halloween dinner party, leave tricks (like truth-or-dare or have-you-ever question cards) and treats (like little bags of orange and brown M&Ms or caramel corn) at each guest’s place setting. This will entertain between courses.
• Serve monster cocktails for a spooky night—green slime optional, but if you can get smoke climbing out of the glass like the zombies from “Thriller,” you win.
• As a leaving gift, give guests mini jars of autumnal fruit jams or compotes. Gooseberry and blackberry always go down well.
Winter winners
• Make your home feel snug and reassuring for your guests by using candlelit lanterns dotted along the front path to your house or apartment.
• Serve cups of steaming cider or mulled wine, garnished with cinnamon sticks and orange slices.
• Pin red sequins or buttons and green fern leaves to napkins.
• This is the season for sparkle and magic. Don’t be shy: string lights, glitter, candles, sequins—don’t hold back. Dress for the part of host in as much glitz as you can handle.
• Berries and twigs, lightly doused in fake snow, make a festive centerpiece. Drape ivy or mistletoe from the backs of chairs. In fact, for a merry Christmas gathering, tie mistletoe everywhere.
• If Jack Frost hasn’t painted your windows yet, help him out by decorating them with a snowflake design.
• In December, hide dull areas of your home by hanging up stockings, tinsel and baubles. A real fir tree in the entrance will have wow factor, and the scent will welcome guests warmly.
• Leave fir cones or candy canes, with handwritten brown paper tags attached, as place markers at your dining table.
• At a party in the run-up to Christmas, crackers are a must. One per guest at least.
• An Arabian Nights theme—rich, decadent and sumptuous—will warm up cold evenings. Fill a room with oversized cushions and wisely placed orange-scented candles.
• Serve port or sherry, and attempt eggnog. Decorate glasses with a rim of green, red, silver or gold edible sugar and a cluster of cranberries.
• For a taste of comfort, roll-ups of roasted turkey, filled with mashed potato and cranberry sauce and pinned with a festive cocktail stick, followed by bite-sized ginger cookies.
• Leave token gifts or a mini fir tree or cactus with a “thank you for coming” tag in a Santa sleigh at the exit.
• Learn the words to “Auld Lang Syne” if you’re having a New Year’s Eve party. There always needs to be a leader.
• Go against the norm and celebrate Galentine’s Day, not Valentine’s Day, in February. Gather all your favorite women—and their partners if you choose—in your garden for an evening of bonfires, hot chocolate and funny anecdotes about love.
Kiley, 36
“Hosting a sit-down dinner is complicated in general, but outside, in late spring, with weather forecasts for thunderstorms, I was leaving a lot up to fate. It had rained for 28 days straight. Yet I knew that getting married with my bare feet stretched out in the grass and passing food from one person to another had as much spiritual meaning to me as the words ‘I do,’ so it was an idea I wasn’t going to give up on. Growing up, my goal was to be outside at all times, and that guided my principles and passions. Getting married was never a top priority, but caring for the earth and breaking bread with friends and family always was. You get the picture—Mother Nature had to have a seat at my table because she had such a profound hand in shaping me into the woman I am today. Luckily, the clouds parted and the sun shone on that evening in May. At 6pm friends and family gathered in our back garden among pine and oak trees. Even the paper we printed our programs on could be planted. We ate farm fare of pulled pork and chicken. We passed cornbread and shared stories about my youth and that of my now husband. We laughed, we cried, we ate beneath the stars. The evening was perfect.”
Animal crackers
As a rather tired new mum living in a new city in the US, life could be a bit lonely and stressful and—as weirdly Cinderella as it sounds—after discovering our house was in a place abundantly inhabited by all kinds of birds and squirrels, I was cheered up by the chirping creatures I could see going about their business in my back garden. I set up a bird feeder and a water fountain outside my kitchen window so that as I did the dishes and mashed countless avocados, I could see rather cuter, fluffier mummies preparing dinners for their young. My children would coo at the wild guests too, especially on bad snow and ice days when it was too dangerous to take them out and our only visitors would be bright red cardinals and fluffy squirrels, perched, eyeball to eyeball with us.
Feed the birds
We need to be careful about what we feed, or don’t feed, our furry friends, and the needs shift between breeds, species and seasons. For birds, autumn and winter is when human help is really needed, so do put food and water out on a regular basis—twice daily if the weather is severe. During these frosty days, give birds good-quality food—investigate specially formulated wild bird seed at a local pet or garden store, and ask what type of feeder would suit the birds in your area, your backyard and your commitment level. Clean the feeders of uneaten food every couple of days, and once you have set up a routine, try to stick to it.
In spring and summer, stick to a once-a-day routine and still be mindful of keeping the feeders clean. Avoid bread, peanuts and fat, or any other dry, hard foods that can be harmful to baby birds. Choking is a real hazard for them too, not just human babies. Despite what we’ve grown up thinking, bread is never a good idea, as it offers no nutrition, and moldy bread is harmful. Pay attention to how much food is left at the end of the day and adjust the quantity you leave out accordingly.
Place feeders away from bushes or trees where predatory cats could be lurking, and perhaps don’t encourage birds to hang out in your garden if you share your home with cats and dogs. Place feeders within three feet of a window so that they won’t be speeding toward glass but slowing down to rest on the feeder—and you will be able to enjoy looking at them as they feast. All year round, if you’re hoping to attract wildlife to your garden, avoid toxic sprays, and pay attention when mowing the lawn to avoid small creatures that might be in the grass.
Rules for feeding time at your garden zoo
Use good-quality food.
Don’t encourage animals to eat from your hand, and don’t encourage them into your home.
Keep feeding utensils, feeders and tables clean and hygienic.
Don’t encourage deer into your yard with food. Not only do they attack your bulbs and flowers, but it can be dangerous for them. A neighbor, an animal-loving good Samaritan, was attracting deer to her front yard with food and one unfortunate fawn got trapped in her son’s soccer goal and had to be cut free, which was traumatizing for everyone.
Feed each animal the appropriate amount of food. Over-feeding can cause changes in their natural behavior and socialization. They may also become over-reliant on you so that if you go away they are unable to find an alternative in such a large quantity.
The Bees Knees and Bountiful Butterflies
A honeysweet way to turn your yard into a buzzing center of color is to encourage bees and butterflies. The mutually beneficial relationship between these pollinators and our flowerbeds means it is worth making our space an inviting area. They come for our nectar and pollen and leave us with a wide variety of flowers, fruits and vegetables.
How to make it a home from home for these flying friends? Go to your local garden center for advice on what native local plants will work or read a wildflower guide book to find out which species would grow and prosper in your hood and benefit your nearby pollinators. Avoid coating your garden in pesticides—if you have to use some, choose the least toxic ones possible. Variety is the spice of all life, so choose as wide an array of colors, heights and shapes as possible, noting bees seem to be particularly drawn to blue, purple, yellow and white. Plant your flowers so they make an impact, place them in eye-catching clumps, and where pollinators are concerned, the bigger space the better so be generous. And remember, they love a bit of sunshine, so plant in sunny areas—that will really give them something to get into a flap about. Last but not least, sit back and enjoy the magically calming hum of these busy creatures on your well-earned break from gardening.
MINDFULNESS MINUTE
Eating nourishes the soul, and lovingly preparing a meal for yourself, or friends and family, should be therapeutic too. Make yourself a rainbow plate to brighten a dull day. On a large plate, place seven different-colored fruits, greens or vegetables in circles. Let your eyes take in the prettiness, then let your stomach enjoy the colorful harvest. A beautiful platter of shades would be strawberries, tangerine segments, honeydew melon balls, figs, blueberries, plums and cherries. Bon appétit!
12
The Call of the Wild
Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
As an exhausted fortysomething parent, who recently lost her last grandparent and is recovering from a health scare, the importance of the lessons from the last eleven chapters has been particularly relevant to me. All too often in my recent history, life and death, fear and pain have grabbed me by the throat and shaken the need for change into my soul—and then some. You might be realizing that you need to make some changes too, to any or all aspects of your life, going forward. That you need to gain the good—the quality time in nature, self-care and solitude, meaningful relationships with people you care about—and lose the bad, like worrying over things you can’t control or wasting time on people, places and things that aren’t good for your mental or physical health.
A life well lived
The deathbed scenario can be a useful mental exercise, too. On your deathbed, what will you wish you spent more time doing, and what will you wish you spent less time doing? You won’t regret seeing that sunset with your partner and the way your hands found each other as a warm glow descended over the horizon. You won’t regret those Sunday walks with your children when they were small and mesmerized by the world unfolding in front of them. You won’t regret those rather wild beach trips you took with your friends as a teenager. You’ll yearn to go back to these moments—even for a second—and feel what you felt back then. Your heart will be stretched between joy that you lived those times, and sadness that you can’t repeat them.
On your deathbed, you will regret not looking after your health, you will regret being on your phone too much, and you will regret spending too many late nights in the office. You will regret not telling the people you love what they mean to you. You will regret beating yourself up over things you couldn’t change. You will regret not opening your heart to all that this world has to offer.
Please don’t wait until it’
s too late. Start living the life you deserve today.
How to embrace a happier you right now
What kind of person do you want to be? You want to be a happy and healthy person, am I right? And the previous chapters of this book have hopefully given you some useful ideas on how you can be that with the help of forest therapy, quality time with good people, the changing seasons and Mother Nature. That’s not to say hugging a tree or taking a walk along the coast will clear your mind of all worries and fears. Some things are too sad, too difficult or too painful to be blown away on the breeze, but things can be improved. Dark moments can be brightened and mental loads lightened when we begin to value ourselves and surround ourselves with things that we know are good for our mental and physical well-being: family who love us, friends who value us, landscapes that make our hearts soar and rituals that give us a sense of contentment, peace and joy. These things help us through the moments that knock the wind out of our sails and push us to the ground. It takes time—it took me until my forties—but we can all learn to embrace change, appreciate the gifts we’ve been given, accept that the challenges we face are lessons to make us a braver, kinder or stronger person, and walk through the day-to-day routines that can feel laborious and repetitive with a calm understanding that some tasks just need to be completed for our world to go on turning.
Biophilia vs biophobia
Many of us need a wake-up call and an attitude adjustment. Too many of us have been living in fear or pain—or just at an unnecessarily uninspired level—without even realizing it. We need to get off the fence—even if it is in the garden—and chose a side. And the side we choose should be to embrace nature and our best self. Here are two terms to help you decide how you want to see the world and how you want to see yourself.
