With a sense of the axe dropping to her neck, she pulled the door to her bedroom open, her heart pounding as she went in search of him. The yacht, though, was deserted, save for a couple of crew who were restocking the fridge and changing linen.
Addie had thought she’d never get used to this – to the sense of seeing staff and not really noticing them, but it had taken only days in the end.
She made a point of smiling and greeting them as she continued searching for Guy.
“Excuse me,” she asked one of the crew, a young woman with bright blonde hair and a neat uniform. “Do you know where Guillem is?”
“Ah, yes, madam. He is at the house,” she pointed towards Santiago’s, her accent thick. “I can drive you?”
“No, no,” Addie shook her head, unsure now of what she should do. She needed time and space to clear her head, to get to grips with what she was doing. “I’ll walk.”
Yes! A walk would clear her head and help her think. At least, that was the hope.
“You’re sure? It is a hot day?”
“That’s fine,” she said, her smile confident now, as she firmed on the plan. It couldn’t be more than two miles, and she could work on her tan as she went.
Decision made, she went back to her room and changed into a bikini and a pair of denim cut-off shorts and a large yellow shirt that hung loose over one shoulder. She grabbed a wide-brimmed sunhat as she left the room – a bit of gold on her arms and legs was one thing, but she’d never liked the feeling of the sun on her face.
About a mile into the walk, she began to question the wisdom of her decision.
The sun was right overhead, the temperature high, and there was barely a breeze. The house still looked to be forever away, though she could see the clearing that would lead to the steps which would, eventually, take her to the garden at the front of the house. A garden she just hoped had a way of accessing the deck – she’d never approached it from this direction and couldn’t remember noticing any access points.
She stripped out of her shirt and shorts and ran towards the water, her smile widening as she felt the first, welcome burst of cool on her ankles. She was more miserable than she’d been in a long time, and yet the simple act of immersing herself in the ocean had a strangely jubilant effect. A sense of happiness she hadn’t expected flooded her and she lay on her back, staring up at the sky, wondering if she was overthinking everything.
She wasn’t, though.
As much as she might wish it were easy, as much as she wished she could simply accept Guy’s offer and take comfort from the fact she could have him any time she wanted him, she knew she could never, ever agree to be his mistress. She just wasn’t built that way.
Her temperature beautifully cooled, she walked out of the ocean and scooped her clothes up, holding them from her fingertips rather than pulling them onto her wet body. She walked a little faster, as she got closer to the villa.
Despite the heat, Addie took the steps two at a time, her determination to get this conversation over fueling every step. She didn’t want him to believe, for even a moment, that she was considering his offer.
“You shouldn’t have come.”
She heard his words before she saw him, and Addie stopped, instantly, her body frozen still.
“But darling, Guy, how could I not? Your parents would have been so hurt.”
The woman’s voice was husky and sensual. Addie took another step, and another, slower now though, quietly, her breath held.
“You are a busy woman; your husband even more so. Make up an excuse and leave, Maria.”
Maria? Addie’s heart thumped hard against her ribs. This was the woman Santiago had mentioned? The woman from the scandal?
“Because it pains you to see me with him? Because you wish I weren’t married?”
Addie frowned. Guy had slept with a married woman? Or had she not been married then? Her accent was broad American, and Addie was glad for that, glad that whomever he was speaking with wasn’t a native Spanish speaker, so that they communicated in a language she could understand.
As Addie climbed higher, she finally saw them, on the edge of the garden, concealed from the view of the house by a jasmine vine that was scrambling over a lattice.
The woman, Maria, was older than Guy, though in incredible shape, and dressed like a twenty-something fashion model might be. She was tall and slim, with pert breasts and her dress had an animal print to it, with gems around the low-cut neckline. Her makeup was flawless, if a little heavy for Addie’s tastes.
“Because we agreed my family should never know about us,” he said the words softly.
“That’s why you’ve brought her? To make sure they don’t dig deeper?”
Addie stared straight ahead; the words slammed into her.
“You shouldn’t be here,” was all Guy responded with. “It complicates matters.”
Addie wished the ground would open up and swallow her. She supposed she could be grateful for the fact they were so engrossed in one another that neither had noticed her approach. Carefully, slowly, as quietly as she could, Addie took a backwards step, her fingertips running along the rock wall to her right for balance when her knees felt like they might give way.
Whatever thoughts had been on her mind, they evaporated. She moved quickly down the stairs, quicker than she’d walked up them, and when her feet connected with the sand, she walked to the shoreline, to the firm wetness, and she ran. She ran as though her life depended on it. She ran until her lungs felt they might burst and her skin was saturated with sweat. She ran until the yacht was in view and then, with a guttural sound of anger, she threw her clothes at the ground and ran once more, this time, into the ocean. She ran until her feet could no longer touch the bottom and then she swam, duck-diving beneath it, her tears being absorbed by the salty oceans depths.
*
“You said she left hours ago?”
“Yes, sir. To walk to the house,” the young woman answered, her look one of concern. “Did she not arrive?”
Guy frowned, not answering the staff member’s question. He stalked through the yacht, reaching for the phone in his office. He dialed the house extension and waited impatiently. His mother answered.
“Is Add- Ava there?”
“Ava? No. Why? Because everyone is looking forward to meeting her tonight, Guy.” A pause. “I hope there’s not a problem?”
You and me both, he thought, disconnecting the call, pacing through the cabin with a sense of disbelief. There was no way for her to have left the island. But where was she? If she wasn’t at the house, was it possible she’d had an accident while she was walking?
There were security cameras that patrolled the beaches, but with guests for the party arriving, the team had had their hands full. He doubted a single woman strolling along the sand would have attracted much attention.
With teeth that were clamped together, he strode towards the bridge of the yacht, intending to go in search of her. His eyes swept the sand on autopilot, and there, his eyes landed upon a familiar figure. Sitting in the shade cast by the trees, far along the beach, her knees curled to her chest, her face tilted away from him, looking towards the mainland.
Something rolled inside of him but he didn’t break his stride. He moved with determination, off the yacht and down the beach, the sand hot underfoot despite the fact it was early evening now.
“Ava,” he called, as he approached, urgent, needing her to turn her face to him, needing to see her.
She didn’t turn to face him, though. She kept her head tilted away, so that he had to crouch down in front of her to see her. “You’re sunburned.”
“Am I?” The words were barely a whisper.
He nodded, and when she still didn’t look at him, he reached for her chin, his thumb and forefinger lifting her to him.
“Who’s Maria?” The words were hollow, but at least she was looking at him.
Guy’s mind worked quickly. She’d been walking to the house. He and M
aria had spoken outside – the only place they could get any privacy; or so he’d thought. So Addie had overheard. Everything?
“Someone I used to … date,” he said, the euphemism a crude descriptor for what they’d been.
“Was it serious?” Addie pushed, pressing her chin into the gap between her knees.
“It was a long time ago.”
“You didn’t know she was coming tonight?”
“It hadn’t occurred to me to check,” he said, as though it didn’t matter.
“Santiago told me about her. He seemed to think I would know who she was, but of course, I didn’t. He told me that you’d loved her though. That she’d broken your heart.”
Guy frowned. “He was exaggerating.”
“But you did love her?”
Guy expelled a sigh. “Maria is irrelevant. There is no sense talking about her. She’s gone.”
“She knew about me.” Addie looked at him and then looked away, pain in her features. “She seemed to think you were using me to fool everyone.”
“Do you think that is true?”
She didn’t answer. “Are you … are you still seeing her?”
He expelled a sigh. “That is nothing but Maria’s ego at play, believe me. She wishes that is why you are here.” He pressed a finger to her chin once more, tilting her face to his. “It has nothing to do with what I want from you, and I think you know that.” The words were hoarse.
She nodded slowly. “You want me to be your mistress.”
His eyes sparked with something like triumph. He felt it deep in his chest. “Si.”
Addie pulled away from him. Her eyes were hollow. “No.”
The word was incongruous; it was the opposite of what he’d been expecting. He looked at her for a moment, allowing the simple denial to find purchase in his mind, but it still made no sense. “No?”
“I don’t want to be your mistress,” she said simply. “Not for any price, nor any time.”
Guy wasn’t convinced. He knew very little about Adeline, except that she’d lied to him before, needing money, wanting it enough to do just about anything. The part of him that was softening to her, that wanted to comfort her, was easy enough to silence.
She had a right to an explanation though, and he saw no reason to hide the truth from her. “I met Maria when I was sixteen. She was – is – a very beautiful woman. Bewitching. It did not matter that she was thirty five to me. I didn’t notice.” His lips curled derisively. “I was, simply… blown away. Lost. I fell for her very much, very hard, without thought. My hormones left little room for thought.” Another derisive twist of his lips. “Ours was a mutual infatuation, all-consuming. I had no idea she was married to one of my parents’ closest friends. That she was married at all.”
“But she knew! She was thirty-five years old and you were still a boy!”
His smile was derisive. “Believe me, querida, at sixteen, I was a man. Or ready to become one.”
Addie was frozen, watching him, and Guy stood abruptly, shoving his hands in his pockets as he looked down the beach. “I swore, the day I discovered the truth, that I would never be in that position again. That I would never love a woman. That I would never leap before I looked.” When he shifted his gaze towards Addie now, it was with anger, once more, like the day in Madrid.
“Until you.” The words came from deep within him. “You made me forget that promise, and it was with you I most badly needed to remember it.”
“That’s what you meant,” she murmured softly. “When you said that you’d learned your lesson about women like me a long time ago? You meant that I remind you of her? That you see us as the same kind of woman?”
His nostrils flared with the force of his breathing. He didn’t answer, but the silence only increased Addie’s urgency. “I’m not Maria,” she said emphatically, pulling up to standing. “I didn’t lie to you because I wanted to. I wasn’t using you. I fell in love with you.”
Guy stared at her, not inviting her to continue, but Addie’s expression was rich with determination. She lifted her hands to his chest, her fingers splayed, his heart beating right into her tips, fueling her blood. She needed to tell him everything; yes, even about her mother. Even when she’d sworn she’d never reveal her mother’s secret.
“The night I met you…” She sucked in a breath. “It was the tenth anniversary of … of an awful time in my life. My dad and brother were killed in a car accident.” His head careened around, facing her.
At least he was listening. Why hadn’t she done this sooner?
Because it hurt.
A physical ache was pounding in her chest at recounting a story she hadn’t discussed with anyone, ever. “It was awful. It destroyed my family. You might think it would get easier, with each year that passes, but it doesn’t. It’s so much harder. I forget little things about them, things that were so elemental, and sometimes, I can’t even see my brother’s face.” A single tear rolled down her cheek.
“Cherie, my cousin, she understands. We spent so much time together, back then, she was with me through all of it. She suggested we go out that night, that we dress up and pretend to be other people. Just for one night, to pretend that this grief doesn’t fill us. I was never meant to meet you. I was never meant to meet anyone that I would know beyond that party. It was just a way to forget, for one lousy night.”
Surprise was a mild way of describing how he felt. She’d spoken of her father and brother often, but always, he realized now, in the past tense. As people who once were. Sympathy was threatening to overtake him, but he wouldn’t let it. If true, he would pity her immensely, but what if it were just another lie, an invention to play on his emotions?
“But we met and I fell in love with you that night, Guy. That same night. The more I loved you, the harder it was to reconcile who you thought I was with the truth and I couldn’t …I couldn’t find a way to tell you. I’m so sorry that I didn’t find a way. But you have to believe me. This was never a planned deceit. I had no ulterior motive. I simply… I fell in love with you. You have to believe that what we had was real.”
He stared down at her beautiful face, pinched with intensity, and what was warm in him iced over. The problem was, he wanted to believe her, but he couldn’t. He’d never be that stupid again, and she had too many reasons to lie.
“I don’t want to get drawn into a conversation about the past. The relationship we had then was a fiction. It’s not realistic to think we can ever be that to one another again. I’m offering you a specific type of relationship. Whether you accept it or not is your decision.”
*
Addie was numb. Objectively the night was perfect – utterly sublime – but she was incapable of feeling anything beyond the pain that was spreading through her body with a singular determination, obliterating hopefulness, optimism and devotion, almost, in one fell swoop.
She’d been so certain that if she told him the truth, he would understand. That if she could find the right words at the right time, he would know that she was the same person he’d fallen in love with. That she’d lied out of self-preservation rather than any nefarious motivation. That he could trust her.
She’d thought it would be enough.
And it hadn’t been.
The relationship we had then was a fiction. It’s not realistic to think we can ever be that to one another again.
Guy laughed at something the man – what was his name? – had said, and Addie pushed a smile to her face belatedly. Her feet hurt from dancing, but it was nothing to the pain in her cheeks from stretching this false grin across her face; nothing compared to the throbbing ache in her heart.
“Are you coming?” The man turned his smiling face to Addie, who had no idea what he was talking about.
But Guy came to her rescue. “Ava may have to be back in London for work. We are still assessing our schedule,” Guy said, smoothly insinuating their partnership and togetherness, sliding a hand around her waist as if to emphasise his point.
>
His touch hurt.
It hurt because here, surrounded by others, he acted as though he adored her. As though she were irreplaceable to him. And she knew how patently untrue it was.
It was all pretend.
So far as Guy was concerned, he was giving her a taste of her own medicine. Is this what he’d thought? That she’d been faking it like this? That she left him and assumed a different role?
She supposed she did. Her mother required so much of her care, and caused her so much worry, that Addie was harried and exhausted as soon as she left Guy’s company. With him, she was truly happy.
Or, she had been back then.
“Acting, huh?” The man grinned. “That must be challenging.”
“Ava’s a natural,” Guy said, as he had to Santiago, and it sent resentment skittling through Ava’s nervous system.
“What made you get into it?”
Addie cleared her throat. “My father used to read me plays,” she said, knowing she didn’t imagine the way Guy’s fingers paused in their gentle stroking of her waist. “Never books. He would do the voices, and I got used to them,” she smiled at the memory – her first genuine smile all night. “As soon as I could read, I took over some of the roles, and eventually learned them by heart. I would always perform them… for my brother, my mum, my teacher, my teddies.” She shook her head, but the smile was dying on her lips. “I got a scholarship at the Bristol Old Vic.”
She didn’t add that she hadn’t been able to take it up. That she’d discovered her mother’s gambling addiction and the truly dire state of their finances right when she’d been poised to step out into the world on her own for the first time.
“Nothing makes me happier than performing,” she said.
“Truer words were never spoken,” Guy murmured, and only Addie caught the undercurrent of cynicism in his words.
“Excuse me,” emotions were tumbling through her. She needed space. “I’m going to get a glass of water.”
Blackmailed by the Spaniard Page 13
