She just knew that suddenly all the things they’d been joking about yesterday—elaborate break-up schemes, who got Genevieve in the separation—none of them seemed the slightest bit funny any more.
‘Stop,’ Jay said, from nowhere, still staring at her. ‘I need to talk to Daisy.’
She blinked, but nodded, and took his hand as he stood and led her, not to the bedroom as she’d expected, but straight out the front door to the cliff edge where they’d sat and talked music. Where she’d told him she didn’t want him to propose to her.
How much had changed since then.
‘What do I do, Daze?’ he asked, raking his fingers through his hair as he looked at her. ‘Tell me what I should do.’
Don’t go back to her. Marry me instead.
The thought bubbled up in her totally unbidden, and she only just caught the words before they flew out of her mouth.
That was crazy thinking. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—marry Jay. They had a fake relationship, that was all. They weren’t in love with each other or anything stupid like that.
Except...except her heart hurt to think of him leaving. Every muscle in her body wanted to grab him and make him stay here, at the cottage with her and Genevieve, for ever. She wanted to wake up to him in the mornings, make love to him before she fell asleep. She wanted to laugh at ridiculous jokes with him and write countless songs with him and go out for pizza and coffee and laugh at his attempts at Italian.
She wanted him. For her own.
For ever.
Oh, God, she was in love with Jay Barwell. How stupid could she get?
She’d let a fake romance feel real, and now look where she was. About to get her heart broken, just as she’d sworn she never would again.
She knew what love did to people. It made them give up their dreams. Would her mum have been a success if she hadn’t married her father? Daisy couldn’t know for sure.
But she knew that Jay wanted forever and everything, the way his parents had loved. And she wasn’t that, for him. She was a pretend fiancée to boost ticket sales.
Which was why she couldn’t let him know how she felt. They had passion and they had friendship, but he’d never even hinted at anything more between them. If she wanted to keep at least the friendship, and the music, and her career, and her heart vaguely intact, then she had to make sure Jay never knew how she felt.
Swallowing hard, Daisy put on her best mask, and prepared to lie.
* * *
‘Kevin’s right,’ Daisy said. ‘Milli would be better for your career than me. You should get back together with her. I mean, you know we’ll come up with a great break-up, right?’
The words hit him harder than he’d expected. There were no surprises in them, nothing he didn’t already know. They’d been joking about their break-up plan just yesterday, after all.
But somehow, it hadn’t felt really real then.
It did now. And somehow it hurt, far, far more than he’d thought it would.
‘You...you want me to get back together with Milli?’ He had to be sure.
Daisy gave a nonchalant shrug. ‘Sure. I mean, if it keeps the label happy. One fake relationship is much like another, right?’
But they weren’t, he realised. Not at all.
He’d assumed the difference between his two relationships was that he’d believed in true love with Milli but known the score with Daisy from the start. He’d thought it was more fun, more real with Daisy because he knew it wasn’t.
But that wasn’t it at all.
His fake relationship with Daisy felt more real than anything before in his life. Because it was Daisy.
Because she felt music the way he felt music. Because his skin fizzled when she touched him, and because she came alive under his fingers too. Because when he made her laugh it felt like a victory, and when they laughed together it felt like life. Because kissing her was his new favourite hobby. Because when she thought he needed something, she stepped in and went the whole way—diamond, dress, heels and all.
Because she named the goat Genevieve, and worried about who would look after it while she was gone.
Because he didn’t know her whole story yet, and he wanted to. He wanted to know her, understand her, more than anyone else on the planet.
Because he wanted to be part of her story for the rest of his life.
Oh, hell.
Because he was in love with her. In a way that he’d never felt before, even with Milli.
He didn’t want Milli back. He never had.
He didn’t want another fake relationship. He wanted the real thing.
With Daisy.
Except she was standing there telling him to go back to Milli because one fake relationship was just like another.
‘Is everything between us fake for you?’ Jay asked, his head still spinning from his realisations.
Daisy gave him a sly smile. ‘Is that a question about my bedroom satisfaction levels? Don’t worry, Jay. I’m not going to go giving interviews casting shade on your manly prowess. You know that side of things wasn’t fake at all. But that’s just lust. Passion. Friends with benefits, right?’
‘Friends with benefits.’
‘Sure! Well, not now you’re back together with Milli. But we’ll still be friends—just like Nico said. It’s the best of both worlds, right?’
‘And you can give up what we had that easily?’ Because he wasn’t sure he could.
More than that, he knew for certain now that he didn’t want to.
She shrugged again. ‘We always knew it wasn’t going to last for long, right? Once the new album came out, or the tours were over, we’d be going our separate ways anyway. This just brings it forward a bit.’
‘I just...’ He couldn’t find the words.
‘What? You thought I was just going to fall in love with you, like all those screaming fans?’ She shot him an amused look, and Jay felt it stab his heart. ‘Come on, Jay, you know me better than that.’
‘I thought I did.’ He’d thought he’d seen a new side to her, the last few weeks. A Daisy no one else got to see, or have, or hold.
But apparently that had all been fake too.
‘I might be younger than you, but I think I learned the most important rule a lot sooner than you did,’ she said contemplatively. ‘Always know what the person you’re with wants from you. Because they always want something. Kevin wants you to be a star—and make him a lot of money. Nico wants you to leave him enough of the groupies to keep him happy. Harry, bless him, just wants you to be happy—but he’s better than most people.’
‘And you? What do you want from me?’
‘I wanted to escape the tour and write some songs, and pretending to date you let me do that,’ she said simply. ‘And you wanted me to hang on your arm to show Milli you’d moved on, even when you hadn’t.’
‘That was then,’ Jay pressed. ‘That was before...everything that’s happened between us. I’m asking you, what do you want from me now?’
Daisy shook her head. ‘We agreed upfront what we both wanted, Jay. There’s no point trying to change it now, just because we had sex and you’re feeling sentimental about it.’
How could she feel so little, when he felt so much?
But then, it had been exactly the same with Milli, hadn’t it? He’d been struck down by her leaving, and she’d just been playing a game.
He’d fallen for it again, when he’d sworn to himself that he wouldn’t. He’d thought he was too wise, too cynical to the way this industry worked to be fooled again. But he was the same idiot who’d thought he was in love with Milli Masters.
Except this time it was Daisy, and he knew that was going to hurt a thousand times more.
‘You’re right.’ The words didn’t even feel like his. He couldn’t believe he was saying them.
&nbs
p; ‘I am?’ Daisy asked, eyebrow raised. ‘I mean, I usually am, but about what in particular?’
‘One fake relationship is as good as another. And if I have to pick I might as well go with the one that’s best for my career, right?’ Swallowing, he drank in the sight of her one last time, here, in this place that had meant so much to them.
‘Right. Of course.’ Daisy shrugged. ‘Makes sense.’
‘I’ll get the guys to get their stuff together, we’ll head to wherever Milli’s staying so I can talk with her. Then I guess we’ll see you back on tour.’
‘Great. I’ll see you there.’
He wanted to kiss her. Or shake her. Or fall to his knees and beg her to think about this. To open her heart to the possibility of more.
But he didn’t.
He turned around, walked back into the house, and consigned Daisy Mulligan to the graveyard of his heart.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
DAISY COULDN’T BEAR to be there when they left, so she walked down the hill into the village, glad she’d changed out of Jay’s shirt and her shorts while Milli had made her impassioned plea for his heart. Not only was it not suitable attire for going out in public, but it smelled of him. Warm and comforting and safe.
She couldn’t be smelling his clothes for comfort when she’d just walked out of his life. Or, not, because she had to face him on tour again in a week’s time. And before then, she had to get him comprehensively out of her system.
So, first rule: no smelling his clothes. If he even left any behind.
God, she hoped he didn’t find that T-shirt of his she’d hidden under her pillow. Not that she was going to smell it, because that was breaking the rules and—
She sobbed, stopped walking, and sat down on the grass at the side of the road.
Okay. So it was possible she’d just made the biggest mistake of her life. But she’d done it to protect herself, the same as always. She was keeping her eye on the prize—chasing her dreams.
Except what was that dream worth without someone to share it with?
Pulling her phone from her pocket, she sent a group message to Aubrey and Jessica.
So, I might have done a stupid thing.
Aubrey responded almost instantly.
You? I don’t believe it! Teasing! What’s happened? Is it something to do with you getting engaged to Jay Barwell...?
It took surprisingly little time for Daisy to recount everything that had happened over the last couple of weeks to her friend, and by then Jessica had also jumped on the group chat.
Hmm... Are you sure he doesn’t feel the same way about you?
Aubrey answered that.
Of course she’s not sure! Because she never let on that she loved him! So how could he know?
Jessica came back:
Well, then. Maybe she should tell him.
Daisy shuddered at the thought of putting herself in that position—of opening her heart to Jay only to let him tear it apart.
If he felt the same he would have said, wouldn’t he? I mean, he had the chance, when I told him that we’d agreed to a fake relationship. He could have said if he wanted something more, and he didn’t.
Aubrey: But neither did you. And you obviously do.
Jessica: Aubrey’s right.
Aubrey: I love it when you say that!
Jessica: He might be scared, like you.
Daisy: He’s been voted world’s sexiest man. Three times. How scared can he be?
Aubrey: That’s not the same as love, and you know it.
Jessica: Plus his ex dumped him on social media before she came grovelling back. Trust might be an issue.
Daisy thought of Jay the night after the awards ceremony in Rome, telling her how he just wanted to demand Milli explain why she’d done it. She knew that feeling of not understanding something that had turned her life upside down.
She’d never been able to ask her mother why she’d left, either. Nothing beyond her parting words about chasing her dreams.
She didn’t even know if she’d ever found them.
That kind of uncertainty...yeah. That had an effect on a person.
But even if he did have non-fake feelings for me, he loved Milli. Of course he’s going back to her if there’s a chance of them being happy together.
Even though she was pretty certain it would only end the same way again.
Aubrey replied.
Then why did he ask you what to do?
Daisy bit her lip. As ever, her friend had a point. She’d been so busy protecting her own heart she hadn’t even thought about his.
What if he’d wanted her to say, Don’t go back to Milli?
She frowned. No. She wasn’t going to blame herself for this. If he wanted her he could have said as much too.
But if neither of them had the courage to try...
Jessica replied.
I guess the biggest question you have to ask yourself is...if you weren’t afraid of anything, what would you want to do right now?
She didn’t even have to think before answering.
I’d run back up the hill to the villa, to my home, and ask Jay to stay there with me. For real this time, not fake.
Then that’s what you need to do. Run, girl! Or, trust me, you’ll always regret it.
Could she?
Daisy shook her head. How could she not?
Jumping to her feet, she ran, only slowing as she crested the top of the hill and saw the driveway, empty except for a forlorn-looking Genevieve.
She didn’t need to open the front door to know for sure; she could feel it already.
Jay had gone.
* * *
‘You’re being an idiot about this.’ Harry, as ever, was perfectly happy being blunt about his brother’s life choices, Jay realised.
‘No. I’m focussing on what really matters. The band. The music,’ he argued as he dumped his suitcase on yet another hotel bed. Just like all the other ones, except for one important fact. Somewhere in this hotel, according to Kevin’s mysterious means of intelligence gathering, was Milli Masters. Probably the penthouse suite, if Jay had to guess.
He hated hotels, he’d decided. Even penthouse suites.
He missed the cottage already. He missed Daisy. He even missed the damn goat.
‘I heard the song you and Daisy were working on when you played it for Kevin last night. She’s better for the music than Milli could ever be.’
‘I’m not disagreeing with you on that.’ Jay pulled out a pair of tracksuit bottoms and searched for a T-shirt to wear with them. He was going to order room service, watch bad hotel TV, and slob about. That was his entire plan for the evening.
Milli and everything else could wait one more day. He couldn’t take another emotional conversation today.
‘Then why the hell are you running back to Milli Masters?’ Harry grabbed the clothing from his hands to make Jay turn and look at him.
Jay wondered quite how stupid his brother thought he was. ‘I didn’t say I was going back to Milli.’
‘That’s what you told Daisy. And Kevin definitely thinks you are.’
‘Firstly, you shouldn’t be eavesdropping on my conversations. And secondly... Kevin believes what he wants to believe. But this time he’s going to be disappointed. Now, can I have my clothes back, please?’
A calmness had settled over him as he’d walked away from Daisy. A certainty, one that made everything suddenly very simple.
He wasn’t in love with Milli. Daisy wasn’t in love with him.
And Jay didn’t want a fake relationship with either of them.
He wanted the real thing. And if that meant waiting until his star had faded and no one was interested in dating him for his celebrity, that was fine by him.
Harry handed him his trousers. ‘So...what are y
ou doing?’
Jay changed out of the jeans he’d travelled in. ‘I’m taking a leaf out of your book, Harry. I’m waiting for the real thing to come along. No more fake celebrity romances. The next time I get into a relationship it will be a real one. Now, where the hell are all my T-shirts?’
‘You’re waiting for a real relationship,’ Harry said, disbelief colouring his voice.
‘You don’t think I can do it?’
‘I think you’re even more of an idiot than I thought.’
Jay stopped searching for a T-shirt and raised an eyebrow at his brother. ‘Excuse me?’
‘What do you think you had with Daisy?’
Everything I ever wanted.
Jay clenched his jaw and forced the thought aside. ‘Exactly what we agreed we’d have. A fake relationship—fake engagement, even. And a friends-with-benefits arrangement. That’s all.’
‘Did she tell you that?’
‘She didn’t need to. It’s what we agreed.’ Except he couldn’t remember actually agreeing to it. It just sort of happened. Like falling for her. He definitely hadn’t planned to do that.
‘She told you that,’ Harry said smugly. ‘Okay, Jay, think about what you know about Daisy.’
How she laughs. How she looks when she’s sleeping. How she kisses. How she writes songs. How she feels in my arms...
‘She’s defensive, prickly, sarcastic and mocking is her favourite hobby,’ he said instead.
‘Exactly.’ Harry beamed. ‘Now, look at this.’
He pulled out his phone, but Jay pushed it away.
‘I don’t want to see any more photos of Daisy pretending she’s in love with me for an audience.’
‘That’s not what this is,’ Harry said. ‘Just watch it. Please?’
Sighing, Jay took the phone and pressed play.
He recognised Daisy’s cottage instantly, but not the angle. In the video, Daisy was sitting cross-legged in the armchair, her guitar in her lap, laughing at something he’d said.
‘Play it for me again,’ he heard his own voice say, and saw himself appear on the screen, perching on the coffee table opposite her, his own guitar in his hands. ‘I want to try something.’
Italian Escape with Her Fake Fiancé Page 14
