Peering out the window, I watch as the buildings in downtown Des Moines pass us by. The wind flows through the backseat, causing strands of my hair to whip around my face covering part of my mouth. I don’t bother moving them, turning my baseball cap around to shield my eyes.
“It’s good to see you finally got your ink.”
The mention of the tattoos covering my arms and legs bring back a swarm of memories of the first night we spent alone together. The night I opened up to him about the ink that covered my skin and, when he shared with me, all the reasons why he found himself knocking on Dean’s bedroom window at night.
The cab pulls up in front of the tattoo shop and I watch as Maverick looks past me, out the window to the building behind me. His eyes narrow for a moment before turning back to me. Something that looks like a smile plays at the corner of his mouth. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even attempt to acknowledge the tattoo shop but I can see the pride he wears on his face. Despite all these years, the feelings and the way things were left, he’s proud of me for how far we’ve come.
Reaching my hand over, I pull the lever to the door and move to step out.
“Here, let me help you with that,” he mutters, swinging his door open and jumping out. The driver pops the trunk, and before I know it, Maverick is quickly pulling my suitcase out and setting it on the ground between us.
There’s so much I want to ask him, to have him sit down and tell me, but things are different now. I was just a chapter in his book, one that was never meant to be re-read. It’s become very apparent over the years after he never responded to my letter.
I just never expected that it would be four years before I would see or hear from him again. Maybe I’m feeling a little sentimental after seeing him again, but I can’t help but feel like we are miles apart.
“Well, this is me,” I say, pointing to the front of Tattered, the tattoo shop I own with my buddy, Chris. “It’s good to see you, Mav. It’s even better to know you’re here, that you’re home and safe.” The thought of him being over there, fighting a war, is something that was never far from my mind.
“It’s good to see you, too, Rebel. I never thought I’d be back here, but it’s good to be home.”
I feel as if there is more to his comment he’s not telling me, but I decide not to push it. It’s not my place to go asking questions I have no business asking.
“I’ll be in town for a little bit. I’d like to get together, maybe we can grab lunch and catch up?”
“As much as I’ve waited for you to be home and to hear those words, a lot has changed. I have changed. I think it’s best if we leave the past in the past,” I reply, swallowing hard. I hate even saying those words. “Take care of yourself, Mav,” I reply, flashing him a small smile as I grab the handle of my suitcase and force my feet to move.
I hear him mutter a goodbye as I pass him, but I don’t turn around to see the look on his face. It’s time I accept his place in my life and in the past. Not because I don’t care about him, but because it’s better to leave all the things unsaid and where they are meant to be.
The door dings as I pull it open. Andi steps out of the back room with a box in her hands, peeking her eyes around the corner to see who it is.
“Hey, I was wondering when you’d be back.”
Chris rolls his chair backward from where he works when he realizes it’s me.
“About fucking time!” he shouts.
My day has been non-stop since I woke up early this morning to catch my flight home from California. I had planned on stopping by Tattered knowing I have a busy week ahead catching up on appointments I had to reschedule around my trip, on top of working at the bar this weekend with Nadia.
My thoughts are still caught up in what just happened that it takes me a minute to catch up.
Flashing Chris my middle finger, I saunter into my room on the other side of the shop, just needing a moment to collect myself. My heart feels like it’s beating again for the first time since I last saw Maverick, and it’s terrifying.
Three
MAVERICK
My body was starting to wear down. I was glad when the cab pulled up in front of the hotel because I felt like I was riding a high after seeing Ryan, but it all came crashing down when she said her goodbyes and I was forced to watch her walk away from me.
Graham texted me on my way to the hotel asking to meet up later tonight for a drink at the local bar, Champions. A nap was in order if there was any chance of me doing that. My alarm clock goes off, and I slide my hand under my pillow, grabbing my phone. Holding it in front of me, I peek one eye open and turn off the alarm before pulling the pillow over my head.
It feels like only a few seconds pass when the phone starts ringing. Groaning, I don’t bother checking the screen as I swipe to answer.
“’Lo.”
“You alright over there, man?” Graham’s husky voice filters through the phone.
“I’m getting up right now. This jet lag is killin’ me.”
“I hear ya. I’m just getting home from dealing with all sorts of bullshit today. I’m going to hop in the shower quick. You think you’ll be ready in about twenty minutes?”
“Yeah, man, I’ll see ya there.”
We disconnect the call and I finally pull myself out of bed. I quickly put in a request for an Uber to pick me up. I splash some water on my face and brush my teeth before throwing on a change of clothes. We pull up a little early since the bar is close and it only takes a few minutes to get there.
Heading inside, I bypass the server station and make a beeline directly to the bar. I know Graham will be here any minute, and I’m not wasting any time to put in my order for a beer.
A few minutes later, just as I take a long pull from my beer, I feel a clap on my back, taking me off guard and causing me to nearly choke. Turning my head, I see a rare smirk grace Graham’s face. After catching my breath and forcing out a cough, I hold up my middle finger before I stand to give him a hug.
After all the shit I’ve witnessed overseas, it feels real fucking good to see someone who reminds me of happier times. Growing up, Graham was always a dare devil, Dean was the rowdy one, and I was usually the mellow voice of reason that went along for the ride.
A lot of things have changed with Graham since we were both together in Everton. The paths our lives have led us down have forced us to evaluate where we were going. Graham isn’t the same person he was back then; life has shaped him in a different way.
“Good to see you, man. Glad to have you back home. I hope this means you’re stayin’ for good.”
“It’s good to be home.”
I see his eyebrow rise, as if he is waiting to hear if I’ll be staying in Everton. The answer is I’m not sure where I’m going now that I’m here. I hadn’t given it much thought but after seeing Ryan today, I would be lying if I said I hadn’t considered staying and spending more time with her.
“Speaking of being home, I thought you were still livin’ in Chicago. What made you decide to plant roots back here?”
After I left and moved in with my Aunt Patricia, we all started going down different paths. Graham and Dean have stayed close friends, but I know the drinking picked up after I left. Things started to spiral, especially after Graham lost his cousin, Gage. After graduation, he took off for Chicago and vehemently denied coming back home.
“Yeah, my mom hasn’t been doing so well. The doctors were concerned when her health took a turn. She was in the hospital a couple months ago. I decided it was time I came back and look after her.”
“I’m sorry to hear about your mom, man. I am sure she’s glad to have you back though. It sounds like things are going well with the business, too. I’m happy for you and Dean.”
“Thanks. He’s staying back in Chicago for now, but the plan is to open two locations for Compass Security. He’ll run the operations in Chicago and I’ll oversee things from our office in Everton. I swear though, it’s been one thing after another
this past week.”
“I can imagine it’s not easy but I’m sure it will all work itself out.”
He grunts in response, nodding his head. He raises his hand, flagging down the waitress.
I almost wouldn’t recognize her right away until her eyes and mischievous smile light up her face.
“Nadia,” I say in greeting.
“If it isn’t the bad boy himself,” Nadia retorts as she pulls two glass bottles out of the cooler. Popping the tops, she slides them along the counter toward us.
I’m reminded just how small Everton really is, after only being here for a day.
“Something like that,” I drawl, taking a pull from the beer as she leans forward to take my empty bottle. I need to slow it down. It’s been awhile since I’ve drank, and they are going down like water.
I watch as Nadia flashes me a wink as she turns and struts into the back room.
Focusing my attention back to Graham, we continue to chat about how things are going with the business, his move back home, and my dad’s funeral.
“How long are you planning on staying in town?”
“Honestly, I haven’t thought that far ahead. I never expected to come back here though either.”
“I hear ya there, man. I’ll be doing some hiring. I will need some help in getting shit up and running. If you end up deciding to stick around, give it some thought. I could use you and your experience.”
The job would be perfect, honestly. I haven’t considered what I will do when I get out of the army but this sounds right up my alley.
I promise to give it some thought and let him know when I figure out my plans. I know I’ll be sticking around for a little bit. I need to sort out what I’m going to do with my dad’s stuff. The house will need to be put on the market, because regardless of whether I am staying or going, I refuse to live in his house.
“I’m going to take a leak. I’ll be right back.” I really want to take a break from this conversation.
Sliding off the barstool, I round the end of the bar toward the long narrow hallway. Nearing the end of the bar, I’m surprised when I look up and see Ryan walk out of the back room I just saw Nadia disappear to. The second my eyes connect with hers, the wink Nadia gave me earlier makes sense.
“You’re followin’ me again.”
“Wouldn’t you love that, Rebel?” I joke, approaching her.
She leans against the wall. “Dream on.”
I can’t control the laugh at that point. She looks so fucking good now. She changed her clothes from when I last saw her. By the way her eyes rake over my body, she’s appreciating the change in my clothes as well. My eyes travel to the edge of her tank top, down to the exposed skin on her arm.
It’s as if my feet move on their own accord, taking me closer to her. I have no control over the pull between us. The urge to take in the ink covering her tan skin is too strong.
Our close proximity takes her off guard as I move to survey her tattoos. As soon as my eyes take in the vines covering her shoulder to the heart on her forearm, I feel like my heart is beating so hard it could pound damn near out of my chest. I recognize the heart etched permanently on her skin.
“Ryan,” I mutter close to her ear. She must be able to hear the question in my tone, as she moves to pull her hair over her other shoulder, giving me full access to her arm. Her throat bobs with her deep swallow before she turns her head up to peer at me.
I can’t help it; I reach my hand out and run my thumb over her skin to the tattered heart etched on her skin. I take in the intricate design, the barbwire and stitching holding it together. You’d think this was the first time I saw the artwork, but it’s not. I’ve stared at it many times, but never with her as the canvas.
“I can’t believe you...” I pause, not sure where I’m going with what I’m about to say next. My eyes travel up her arm to meet her eyes. I can see the hint of pain, but she quickly covers it up, locking her hard expression on her face. Her jaw clenches, holding back all the words she wants to say.
Leaning forward, I press a soft kiss against her skin. The action forces Ryan to take a step backward, only to push her back against the wall. I know I shouldn’t have done that, but I couldn’t help it.
“Will you tell me what this tattoo means to you, Ryan?”
I know she would never put something on her body permanently if it didn’t have meaning to it.
“It’s my reminder to be protective of your heart and to be careful who you give it to.”
“You don’t have to protect your heart around me. It’s been four years, Ryan, but there hasn’t been a single day that went by where I didn’t think about you. There wasn’t a minute when my body didn’t ache for you.”
“Why are you here?”
My eyebrows knit together. “I met up with Graham.”
“No—” she cuts me off. “I’m talking here, as in Everton. What are you doing here?”
“I got a call two days ago that my dad passed away. I came home for the funeral.”
Her throat moves as she swallows down whatever she was going to say next, obviously not expecting that as my response.
“Ryan,” I say before she holds her hand up stopping me.
“This can’t happen between us again. I can’t have you pushing your way back into my life.”
“Pushing my way? Is that really what you think I’m doing?” My body goes rigid.
“Isn’t it? You take what you want and then you flee. I’m not going to let you do that to me again.” She leans away from me, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Rebel, I may not have come back here for the sole purpose of getting you back, but if there was ever a reason I would stay, it would be for you.”
I hadn’t even thought about it until the words were out of my mouth, but I knew they were true with absolute certainty. I know there’s a lot of history between us, history she’s obviously still hurting over. That won’t stop me from trying to make it right. She’s all I ever wanted and I’ve spent every day of the last four years missing her.
“You can’t come back here, force yourself on me, and expect me to just forgive you. That isn’t how this works.”
“Force myself on you? Is that what you think this is?”
She hesitates for a minute, as I take a step closer, crowding her space. I can hear the stutter around the inhale of her breath. Her chest heaves, and I can’t help the smile lining the edge of my mouth.
“You can’t try and tell me you don’t feel this between us, Ryan. It’s still there.” I lean in closer, my breath feathering along the edge of her lips. “My body still aches for you after all these years. I said this to you earlier and I meant every fucking word. I will have you begging for it, because trust me baby you can try and deny it all you want, but I know your sweet pussy aches for me, too.”
“Shit,” she mutters as her eyes glaze over. Her head tilts back as her struggled breaths float over my skin warming me further.
“Tell me you want me to touch you and I will.”
“No—” she demands, clenching her jaw.
Leaning forward, I blow softly along the nape of her neck up toward her ear before I continue. “You’ve always been a shit liar, Rebel. I can smell the arousal on you, baby. I can tell by the way your skin flushes, the subtle way you are clenching your legs together, to the way you are forcing yourself to breathe. Do you think I could make you come just standing here without even touching you?”
Her head rears back as she looks up at me as if I’m crazy. The sinister smile I greet her with says just how much I’d love for her to challenge me.
“Mav,” she stutters. The desire overtakes her, causing her resolve to slip away.
“Or do you want me to touch you?”
Her eyelids lower. The desire winning out. “Say it,” I whisper encouragingly.
“I want—” she swallows before forcing herself to continue, “I want you to touch me.”
Grunting, I wrap my arm around her
and pull her closer to me.
I can tell by the look in her eyes she knows I’m talking somewhere close and quick because my patience is wearing thin.
Pulling me around the corner, she opens the door to what looks like a small supply closet and quickly pulls me inside. I don’t have time to look around before the door shuts behind us. This is the last place I want our reunion to be, but I just need a minute with her, alone.
Pushing her up against the door, her hands wrap around the waistband of my jeans, and she pulls me closer. Her fingers skate along the edge of my boxer briefs and my aching cock strains against my zipper.
Easing my hand around her waist, I bring her closer to me. I’m so thankful for the short-shorts and tank top she’s wearing. She has given me easy access to all the parts of her body I’ve missed the most.
Sliding my hands over the curve of her ass, I pull her closer, easing my hand beneath the edge of her tank top, along the smooth skin of her back, and up the curve of her spine.
“Maverick,” she whispers, running her hand along the buzzed hair along the back of my head, pulling me closer to her. As soon as our mouths connect, I can’t help but unleash a groan from deep in my throat, vibrating against her mouth.
When her tongue traces a line along the edge of my mouth, I know I’m fucking done for. This girl has been featured in all my fantasies while I was gone. She’s all I have been able to think about since I left her, and it doesn’t hardly seem real she’s standing right here in front of me, in my arms.
“Rebel,” I groan. “You’re fuckin’ killin’ me here.”
I didn’t want the first time we are together again to be like this.
“Baby, it’s going to kill me to say this but when I finally have those sexy as sin legs around me again, I don’t want it to be in some dirty supply closet. I want it to be in a bed where I can enjoy having you all to myself.”
Even in the darkness, I’m able to make out the look of arousal on her face. “What time are you off?”
“After eleven.”
I know it was around eight when we got here so I’m likely going to be carrying a fucking brick in my pants until she is off.
Tattered (Tattered Heart Duet Book 2) Page 2
