by Chris McHart
D looked like a badass fighter, but he had a soft heart. It was visible every time he spoke to Ash, and it was almost even more visible when it came to his children.
Not that Josh would ever tell him that. D probably knew it himself, but Josh had no idea how he’d take it. “How is Ash, anyway? He looked okay earlier.” Josh carefully lifted the sleeping child and laid him down.
“Pretty good. He didn’t pass out again, and he thinks his reaction was due to the vibes when the power was handed over.”
Josh nodded. “It makes sense. Even I felt it, and I don’t have any magical powers.”
“So did I, believe me. I totally get that it simply got too much for Ash. But now he’s feeling well again and hopefully some kind of sugary drink will help even more. If not, I think he’s going to call Magnus tonight to talk to him about what he can do. This is one of the things I can’t help him with.”
It was easy to see how much it bothered D that he couldn’t do anything for his partner, but in this case, he couldn’t change it. “I think the thing that helps him most is that you’re always there for him. What else could a partner wish for?”
“I just feel helpless when something like this happens.”
“Totally understandable, but I think in this case you’ll just have to accept it. You’re doing everything you can when it comes to him anyway.”
“What else should I do? Without Ash, I’d only be a shadow of myself.”
They ate together and later, when people started leaving, Anthony came up to him.
“Let’s go?”
Josh looked at him. They’d seen each other during the evening, and he hadn’t missed the hot looks Anthony had thrown in his direction. Josh’s answering looks had been just as heated...
“Sure. Let’s say goodbye, then we can leave.” They made their rounds, and although Ash and D grinned when they both said goodbye at the same time, no one commented.
Chapter 6
Josh
* * *
Josh sat on D and Ash’s sofa, stretching his legs out in front of him. A few days had passed since the coronation and they’d only just now managed to meet again. “All in all, I thought the ceremony was beautiful, even though I still wish they’d found a way to avoid it.”
Ash took his coke and drank. Setting down the bottle, he said, “Gerome has shown a lot of courage. Luis can’t ask more from his mate.”
“Except to reject the throne completely. That might’ve meant more to Luis.”
“You think so, D?” Josh looked at him. “I don’t know what Luis would’ve preferred. Even if he never wanted to be the king’s mate, I think it’s good that he can make decisions together with Gerome.”
D’s phone started humming on the coffee table. He leaned forward and looked at it. “Anthony’s at the door. He didn’t want to ring in case the little ones were sleeping.”
“Did he say he was coming over?”
“No, he didn’t, but it’s not that unusual for him.” D stood and made his way to the front door.
“Does it bother you that he’s here too?” Ash whispered as soon as D had disappeared from the living room.
“No, not at all. Let’s just say we’re getting along pretty well right now.”
Ash grinned because he understood perfectly what Josh was talking about.
D and Anthony came back into the living room. Anthony hugged Ash, then he did the same with Josh. When they weren’t spending a hot night together, they were just friends, just like he was with Ash and D. It was kind of nice.
“I’m sorry to interrupt. I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“Why? I’m just here to talk, that’s all. You’re not interrupting at all.” Not that he didn’t like to see Anthony. After all, they were friends.
“As long as I didn’t interrupt you gossiping about me…”
“No, don’t worry. We were done with that.” Ash grinned at Anthony.
“Good to know.” Ash laughed and took the beer D had brought from the kitchen without asking. For himself, he carried tea. Like in his first pregnancy, he was constantly feeling sick.
“Since you’re done with gossiping, what else is new?”
“Nothing. We talked about the ceremony and that was it,” Josh answered.
“It was really beautiful,” D chimed in, too.
“Absolutely.” Anthony nodded before he drank from his beer.
“What’s new with you? Do you miss traveling around yet?” D asked while he took small sips of his tea. Steam was rising from it, and he blew on it softly.
“No, not yet. I’m pretty glad I can stay here right now. I’m not sure if that will change, or if my wanderlust years are over. Wouldn’t be bad.”
“I finally stopped feeling the need to travel.”
“Yes, but only because you tried to win Ash over. I think it’d have been different for you, too.”
An interesting reddish color spread over D’s face, and Ash also turned a little red.
“But you stayed here long before we even spent time together.” Ash seemed to be confused.
“It hasn’t been that long, and it might’ve been one of the main reasons I took the job…” D stopped talking and stared at his teacup.
“Why did I never hear about this until now? I always thought you stayed here because Gerome offered you the job?”
Anthony started coughing then said, “I’m sorry. I guess I shouldn’t have said that.” He coughed again.
Ash looked from D to Anthony and back. “And I thought I knew my partner inside out.” He sounded amused. Still, maybe it was time for a subject change.
“Have you heard from our old pack?” Anthony asked.
D jerked his head up when he heard Anthony’s words. “What?”
“Our old pack. There’s been… rumors that Father’s getting crazier and crazier. I don’t know what’s true and what got added on the way to us, but…”
D put down his tea. “What do you mean by rumors? I didn’t think you had any contact with the pack.”
Anthony shrugged his shoulder. “The mates who seek refuge in the castle… Some of them tell stories they heard from others. And then our father’s name came up. That was the moment I listened a little closer.”
“I didn’t know you had anything to do with those mates,” D interrupted.
“From time to time. Having been around a lot, Gerome sometimes asks me for advice or discusses what we should do in which cases with me. Usually they’re simpler things, but in this case… Anyway, it doesn’t matter how it happened. In any case, one of the mates said Father was going completely insane. He has a new mate who’s much younger than he is. Or at least he wants to mate her.”
“That’s our business how?” D sounded like he didn’t even want to think about doing something, which was strange for him.
“Not at all. Just makes me wonder for how long we’ll have peace. He’s getting more and more unstable, more and more despotic. At some point, we might have to get involved.” Anthony spoke slowly, like those words were causing him pain.
“I’m not going back there. I don’t care what this crazy guy does. No one brings me back into that pack again.” D shook his head.
“Same as me. But then, it might not be our fight, though… At some point, it might be our duty to do something. What if we could prevent a lot of suffering?” Anthony spoke slowly, like he wanted someone to disagree with him.
D averted his eyes and Ash also stared at the floor. He probably thought back to his time with Elder Adali, just like Josh did. So much could’ve been avoided if someone had stepped up.
“There are rumors that he’ll be overthrown. I’m told others can’t watch what he’s doing anymore. But all of those who even try to take him down just… disappear. They are expelled from the pack and have to find a new one. At least that’s what I’ve heard.” Anthony’s voice was quiet.
The room fell silent when Anthony finished speaking. If that was true… Rumors had a tendency to chang
e as they traveled long distances, but in this case Josh had no reason to doubt them. He’d already heard that Anthony and D’s father was not a good person. Shifter. Whatever.
“But what are we gonna do? I’m not gonna risk my family to stop him… Yeah, it’s wrong, but I just can’t. I can’t beat him, and if I tried, he’d probably kill me.” D’s voice was low. It had to be hard for him to hear the crimes his father committed.
“But it’s also wrong to know what’s going on without doing anything.” Josh looked at Anthony, who stared at the floor. “You could do it, couldn’t you? I don’t know why D shouldn’t be strong enough, and I think you are, aren’t you?”
“I’m not dominant enough.” D smiled weakly at him. “I don’t have a problem with submitting to Anthony, and in the social hierarchy, I’m below Ash. It doesn’t bother me, so I don’t think I’m dominant enough to defeat such a powerful alpha as our father. Anthony is.”
“But I’m not going back,” Anthony interrupted immediately.
“Are you really going to close your eyes to what’s happening right now? You know what happens if nobody steps up.”
* * *
Pain filled Anthony’s eyes. Unlike his father, he had compassion.
“I can’t become the new alpha of a pack. Never. I may be powerful enough, but I have a lot of reasons why I can’t do it. D knows what’s stopping me, and I’m surprised he didn’t tell you.” Anthony threw a glance at D, but he shook his head. “I just can’t. It’s too dangerous.”
* * *
“Is it really too dangerous to stop someone like him?”
* * *
“Yes, it is.” Anthony’s voice was quiet, but firm. His reasons seemed to be serious.
What could they be? What could stop him from taking over this pack?
“And now, no more of this. It won’t happen.” Anthony stood up, stared out of the window for a moment, then turned away abruptly. His whole body was tense, his shoulders impressively broad.
How was it possible that such a strong man wouldn’t even consider challenging the alpha? The Anthony he knew would never turn a blind eye to the suffering of other people.
Anthony didn’t sit down again, pushing his hands into his pockets, but Josh could see that he’d clenched them into fists.
D and Ash tried to get the conversation going again but it didn’t work. They were all too lost in the recent subject. Josh watched Anthony, trying to figure out what had upset him like that.
It wasn’t easy to hear what was going on in his old pack, but Anthony had known what his father was doing. It wasn’t anything new. But what was it then?
Anthony wouldn’t answer the question. He’d just made that clear. But what should Josh do? Just drop it? Do nothing? He couldn’t bear that injustice, not after Ash’s past.
But what could Josh do? Maybe he could talk to Anthony when they were alone again.
He got up and said goodbye. If he was lucky, Anthony would come along, and he could ask him more questions.
In fact, when he stood in the doorway, Anthony followed him.
Josh smiled seductively at him. “Do you want to come over?” Sex was always the means of choice when he wanted something from Anthony.
“No, not today. I think I’ll go home and get some sleep.” Anthony didn’t respond to the flirting, seeming distracted.
Josh nodded, even though he was disappointed. “Okay, maybe another time then?”
“Yes, sure.” Anthony didn’t look like he’d heard one word that Josh had just said.
He’d known what was going on in his former pack, so why did it seem to bother him now?
“If you–“
“Good night, Josh.” With these hard words, Anthony disappeared around the corner while Josh made his way to his car. Damn, was he in a bad mood. Josh also couldn’t stop thinking about the news, but he had no idea what he might be able to do. Except talk to Gerome, maybe, but he doubted it’d help much. He wasn’t sure if the vampire king would be able to stop the alpha.
Chapter 7
Anthony
* * *
Anthony ran all the way home. The conversation about their old pack drove him crazy, and his panther fought with him, wanting to get free to take over.
His feet drummed on the asphalt and his lungs burned. He couldn’t give in, couldn’t challenge his father. It was too dangerous. It’d be stupid.
It’d be right–
He forced himself to stop this train of thought. No. He couldn’t allow his panther to take over, even if it shredded him from the inside. He had to control himself, needed to stay on top of his animal.
Do not take over the pack. Do not challenge. Do not–
He forced himself to run faster. Even as a shifter, he didn’t have infinite energy, and he had to concentrate on his steps, not on his thoughts.
He had to forget it and ignore the urge.
Josh’s invitation still sounded in his ears, but he couldn’t have accepted it. What if he hurt Josh? The last time, when he hadn’t had his claws under control, had been bad enough. What if he really hurt Josh?
He’d do anything not to hurt Josh. He wouldn’t let that happen.
By then, he’d run quite a distance, but he didn’t stop even though his lungs were burning and his thighs trembled. He pushed on until he tasted blood and the metallic smell covered everything else. His nose loved the smell. It woke his panther even more, but now the desire for hunting took over, not for fighting.
It was like the last time he’d been in bed with Josh.
He’d tasted blood and it had excited him. This time it was his own, but it had a similar effect.
His world narrowed until nothing existed except the taste, the loud sound of his breathing, the burning in his legs, and the stinging in his side. He kept forcing himself to keep going.
He could still think, and as long as he could think, he couldn’t stop.
He ran until his legs gave way on a small piece of grass. He tried to get up, but his legs refused. His muscles trembled, so he just lay there, his face pressed into the grass. The earthy smell calmed him, slowed down his fast heartbeat. However, it also reminded him of his time with the pack, his youth, and their hunting.
As a human, he also loved hunting and tracking. It was his second nature.
When he’d been a child, he couldn’t always escape his father’s wrath, but when he succeeded in hunting, it usually pleased the alpha.
He forced his breath to calm down further and banish the memory from his head as best he could. It was never good to get lost in it. Those days were over, and he’d never hunt with the pack again, never run free with them again.
Back then, hunting together had meant freedom. But still, even then, the shadow of the alpha had hovered over them. The pack had never been really free.
He closed his eyes and tried to get his body under control. He managed to control his feelings, but that wasn’t what the alpha in him screamed for.
Slowly he got up on all fours then came to a stand, still swaying. His thighs trembled, and for a second, they seemed to refuse to hold him up. But they did and he slowly made his way back to his apartment. He stumbled more than he walked, but he made it.
He unlocked his front door and went straight into the bathroom. Impatiently, he turned up the water, pulled his clothes off, tearing the T-shirt in half. Oh, shit.
Without checking whether the water was reasonably warm, he stepped under the spray.
It was freezing. He closed his eyes, lifted his head, and opened his mouth to drink.
After a few seconds, the water got warmer. He stood for a long time under the hot stream pelting down on him. It relieved the pain in his body. The pain in his heart and soul was a different matter, though.
Anthony got out of the shower and halfheartedly rubbed himself dry. What was the point? He left the bathroom and immediately started trembling. The steam had heated up the small bathroom, but the rest of the apartment was freezing.
; Although he was a shifter, he still felt those temperature differences. In a few seconds, it wouldn’t bother him anymore, but right now, it was still unpleasant. After dressing himself again, he looked around the living room.
It was too quiet here. Much too quiet. He heard his own breath, his thoughts, everything. It was all deafeningly loud in the dead quiet apartment.
The urge to take over the pack didn’t bother him much anymore, but that didn’t mean it was no longer there. It was just under control.
He went to the TV and turned it on. The room filled with noise, and Anthony let himself sink onto his sofa. His muscles were still aching, and he’d be sore tomorrow, at least for a while.
He leaned back, stared at the TV, got up again, and went into the kitchen. Beer wasn’t a good idea today, so he took a Coke. With the cold bottle in his hand, he walked back into the living room, stared at the TV, then at his sofa, before he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.
He couldn’t be alone right now. He needed something, someone, anything. He just couldn’t deal with loneliness.
Thumbing through his contacts, he pondered his choices. D would be the first one to call, but he hesitated. His brother was probably already in bed, and either he was asleep, or he was enjoying himself with Ash. Disturbing him just because he wanted company sounded selfish.
The next were Jeremy and Lindsay. They were friends, but did he want them to see him like this? He shook his head. Who did that leave? Josh? No.
Gerome and Luis. Even worse idea. One was his boss, and the other one wasn’t really a close friend.
Alex and Sam were the same. Quite good friends, but not good enough to call to see if they wanted to join him tonight.
His finger swiped over the screen again until it hovered over Josh’s name again. He was the only one who might come over. He’d mentioned it before, and maybe he wouldn’t ask so many questions, but simply accept it.
Anthony just had to ask.
