by Chris McHart
He wasn’t expecting roses or declarations of love or anything. But at least the recognition as a mate? That was something he’d assumed he’d get.
Apparently, he’d been wrong.
Finally he turned the water off and got out of the shower. He wrapped himself in one of the towels. It wasn’t as warm and fluffy as he liked it, but that didn’t matter now either, and he walked back into the bedroom.
Of course he didn’t have any sleeping clothes with him, so he put on his T-shirt again and crawled into bed. It was cold, damn cold, and he shivered. He turned off the light on the nightstand, tried to pull the blanket tighter around him, and closed his eyes.
Damn, his mind wouldn’t stop racing.
Josh opened his eyes again and reached for his cell phone. He had to talk to someone.
His fingers automatically found Ash in his contacts list, but before he could dial, he stopped. They’d probably just gotten the kids from Luis and Gerome, and if not, they were about to go to bed. He couldn’t bother his best friend now.
Josh stared at the display for a long time, his finger over the call button, but finally he closed Ash’s number. It was useless. His best friend had other priorities and, truth be told, everything would change now that they weren’t so close anymore.
It was the first time they’d had so much distance between them, and it was a feeling he didn’t like it at all. They had been inseparable since the day they’d met at his uncle’s house. And now, suddenly, there was an hour’s drive between them. What would happen to their friendship? It had survived when Ash had gotten to know and love D, it had survived when they’d gotten kids, but what would happen now?
He didn’t even want to imagine it. The thought of having a mate who didn’t want him and losing his best friend at the same time was too much.
A tear escaped from his eye and he wiped it away with a rough gesture. He wouldn’t cry. He wasn’t that weak. He’d entered this mating knowing full well what the consequences were, even though he apparently hadn’t seen it clearly at that time.
Yes. He did.
He knew it’d be a farewell to Ash, but he had still decided to save the members of the pack. He knew he’d spend his life by Anthony’s side. He’d decided to do that too.
He just hadn’t considered that Anthony would see the mating differently.
Josh turned off the cell phone and stared into the room. It was almost pitch black, and he could hardly see a thing. What was he supposed to do now? He didn’t know. His thoughts refused to go into the future. They revolved around what’d happened.
Another tremor went through his body, and he wished Anthony was there to keep him warm. But that option didn’t exist, so Josh wrapped the blanket around him tighter and closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep at some point.
It still took hours.
When he stumbled into the kitchen the next morning, Lindsay and Jeremy were already drinking coffee and eating. It smelled of bacon and eggs and especially coffee. Josh had slept terribly, plagued by dreams in which his mating and Anthony’s rejection repeated itself again and again. He was glad he’d woken up at some point. It was already after eight, the sun was shining, and he was still cold. He’d been freezing all night, and he didn’t know why. Even though he’d missed someone to keep him warm before, it wasn’t usually that bad.
But this cold didn’t come from a cold room. It came from the inside.
“Morning.” His voice was rough, and he stumbled towards the coffee maker. It was one with a pot, not the good one he had at home. He’d have to change that, because if there was one thing he wanted, it was coffee. Maybe he could go home during the next few days and get the most necessary things. At some point he also had to take care of his apartment, get rid of it, and get his clothes. Maybe he could ask Ash to do some of that. Still, a trip was necessary.
Lindsay and Jeremy watched him pour a cup of coffee and sit at the kitchen table.
“How did you sleep?”
“Not good,” Josh replied.
“Too much on your mind?” Lindsay asked.
“Yes. It was a long day yesterday.”
Lindsay and Jeremy both nodded and exchanged a look that Josh couldn’t decipher.
“Which are your bedrooms?”
Both Lindsay and Jeremy blushed.
What the hell was that?
“We… We only have one room.” Lindsay’s statement hung in the air as Josh tried to figure out what it meant. He looked at Lindsay, then Jeremy, then remembered the looks they’d given each other.
One bedroom. That look. Damn it.
“You two…?”
Lindsay nodded.
“How long?”
“Brand new.” This time it was Jeremy who spoke. He stepped next to Lindsay and laid his hand on his shoulder.
“I hope that’s not a problem?”
“No, not at all.” Josh shook his head. “That’s something I didn’t really expect. I mean… You’ve been friends and colleagues and…”
“Yesterday it just… I don’t know. The thought of one of us with Anthony…”
Josh’s eyes widened. “You imagined one of you mating with Anthony… And then you decided that you…”
“No, it was more like I pictured Lindsay with someone else and… well.” Jeremy shrugged his shoulder. He gave Lindsay a look that said more than a thousand words. It was clear what’d happened when he’d imagined his colleague mating with someone else. “Let’s just leave it at that thought wasn’t a good one.”
Josh nodded slowly. “I’m happy for both of you.”
“Thank you.” Jeremy cast another glance at Lindsay. Those feelings had been present for much longer than the two men wanted to admit.
He was happy for them. It was high time they recognized what they felt for each other.
“Speaking of, where’s Anthony? Is he still asleep?”
“I don’t know. I think he’s already gone. The coffee was already made when I came into the kitchen, and it looked like he’d eaten, so I guess he’s already taking care of something,” Lindsay said.
“Oh. Okay.” Josh stared at his coffee for a moment. “I guess he’ll be back then. Do you both want to stay here?”
Lindsay nodded. “Yes, if Anthony will allow it. I think we can help get the pack running again, and then we have to figure out what to do… We don’t want to live and work separately, and we both have the feeling Anthony might need us more than Gerome needs us. Since he’s been king, he has enough guards who can work as bodyguards, and I think Luis can cope better with his situation. His duties also have changed. In any case, we’ll stay here for now and see what happens next. If you and Anthony don’t mind, we’ll live here in the house, but it’s not a must. We can also look for something of our own.”
Considering that Josh hadn’t even seen his mate today, it didn’t look like Lindsay and Jeremy would disturb the building of a wonderfully romantic relationship. Josh shook his head. “No, I’d appreciate it if you’d stay here. I don’t think any of us have a problem with that, and I’d be happy to have you around.”
Lindsay nodded. “Thank you. What have you got planned for today?”
“I wanted to talk to the woman who runs the guest house and start offering a safe haven to the mates who want to leave their partners. I have the feeling there are some here in the pack who aren’t happy with their mates, and I thought that’d be a good start.”
He’d only thought about it that second, but it sounded logical. He was in the best position to do something like that, he had some experience by helping Gerome, and he needed a job here anyway. That was something he could do independently of Anthony, and it would distract him.
He forced himself to have some breakfast, even though he wasn’t really hungry, then made his way to the guest house. He wore yesterday’s clothes again, but Jeremy and Lindsay had promised to see that they all got a change of clothes.
They had the same problem, and they wanted to ask around the village to
try to find something. If they didn’t dig up something, they’d make the trip back to the city to get their own things. Josh had given them a key to his apartment just in case they actually went there.
He took a wrong turn once, but after a short search he stood in front of the guest house. From the outside it looked just as rundown as yesterday, but he had no problem imagining how it could change. With some color, some flowers and a little attention, it’d be a beautiful house, just like all the other buildings. Maybe it was just the shadow of the old alpha still cast over the village. Once the pack members got used to the fact that he’d actually disappeared, it might get better.
Josh knocked then entered. Theresa stepped out of an adjoining room when she heard him.
“Good morning.” Josh smiled at her.
She bowed low, then she replied, “Good morning, Alpha’s mate.”
“Call me Josh, please.”
“Yes, very much, Alpha’s mate.” Her eyes widened for a second, then she said quickly, “Josh.”
“It’s all right. I suppose that was a rule before?”
“Yes, it was. And one you didn’t want to break.” She put her hand to her mouth when she noticed what she’d said.
“Don’t be afraid. My mate may be the son of the previous alpha, but believe me, he’s very different. We’ll see that in the next few weeks. And I’m here because of one of those changes. Can we sit down somewhere?”
Theresa hesitated for a moment, then pointed to the next room. “In there would be fine, I guess. If you’d like to come?”
Josh followed her into the next room, which contained a small kitchen and a table with chairs. He sat down and accepted coffee from her.
“Well–“ he began, but then waited until she sat at the table with a cup of coffee.
She looked at him curiously.
“Well,” he started again, “here’s what I’ve been thinking: I had the feeling there are some mates who are not happy in their mating, and I would like to arrange the same as the vampire king in the Munich Circle. He set up a safe place for those who want to get out of their relationships. I’d like to do that here in this house because I got the feeling it’s empty most of the time. It’d be optimal, in my opinion.”
“Excuse me?” She stared at him like he’d just spoken Mandarin.
“I’d like to offer a safe haven to those mates who don’t want to remain with their partners.”
What part of it didn’t she understand?
“But that’s forbidden. Mates must stay with their partners. You can’t just–“
“They will as soon as Anthony gets to officially change the law. The former king of the Munich Circle has long since decided this, and this was one of the few packs that hadn’t recognized the new laws. Anthony is a strong supporter of those laws and I’m sure it will only be a matter of hours before mates are free to go where they want to live.” Josh took a sip of his hot coffee and waited for Theresa’s reaction.
“But–“ She fell silent and drank from her coffee. It seemed like she had to wrap her mind around it first. “But that’s forbidden. I mean, a law like that. He can’t just make a law like that–“
Josh waited.
Finally, after a longer break, she said, “These laws are as old as our packs. He can’t just change them.”
“Yes, he can, and he will. He fought to change those laws. He’ll do it here, too.”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry, but we can’t do this. We can’t make such changes without the prior consent of the alpha. I’m really sorry.” She stared at her cup. Her two hands were wrapped around it, and her profile revealed how thin and tired she was.
“But I know he’ll do it. I can ask him for confirmation if you want.”
Her head flew up and she stared at him. Her eyes were big, and she seemed to be near a panic. “No, don’t ask. You can’t do that. Don’t ask him. Please.”
“Why?” What was her problem?
“If he does not– If he does not want us to– What will he–“ She didn’t manage to say a whole sentence. She got up, ignoring her coffee. One of her hands trembled as she ran it through her hair and walked up and down the small kitchen. “What’s he gonna do when he finds out about this?”
“You mean he’s gonna punish us for this?”
“You don’t understand, do you? You can’t just ask the alpha to change a law or to allow something. That’s– It doesn’t work.” She didn’t stop, but seemed to become more and more agitated. “Did you talk to him about it? Do you think he’ll come?”
“No, I didn’t.” Josh got up and stood in front of her. She was about his size, and he carefully put his hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t talk to him, and if I did, I’d tell him it was completely my idea. But I can assure you, you have nothing to fear from him. He’s a good man, and I know these laws are being changed. He won’t allow anyone to remain in a mating where they are suffering.” Well, except for him, but that was different.
“How can you be so sure?” She seemed a little reassured.
“Anthony and I have known each other for a few years, and even if we didn’t, I saw how he dealt with others. I’ve seen what he fights for, what he stands for. He’s not someone who’ll allow any kind of mistreatment. And he’s not someone to punish anyone for a suggestion.”
She ran a shaky hand through her hair, but she seemed to calm down. Her breathing also seemed to get deeper again, and she pulled herself together. “I can’t imagine. I’ve never… I’ve never heard of such an alpha.”
Josh took her hand and led her to the table. He gently pushed her back into her chair. “You’ve only had one alpha for a long time, haven’t you?”
She nodded. “Yes, since I was born into this pack.”
“Then you never left?”
“No. My mate lives here too. She got me from my parents–“
“I can imagine. You don’t have to say it. But you know Anthony and D left the pack, right? They didn’t get along with their father, among other things, because their world view was so different than that of their father. They didn’t want to be mated to someone, so they left. It took them a long time to decide to come back, but you saw the result yesterday. During the time when D and Anthony weren’t members of the pack, they saw and learned a lot, and D is now in a relationship as you may have seen yesterday. He saved Ash, his partner, from a relationship that wasn’t a good one, to put it mildly.
“It took a very long time for Ash to regain trust in anyone. Another step was for him to accept D really wanted him as an equal partner. Anthony and his brother are very close, and he saw how Ash was in the beginning. Ash is my best friend and I’ve known him for a long time. I still believe that if D hadn’t got him out of this situation, Anthony would’ve done it. He may look like a huge grizzly bear, but he has a heart for those who can’t defend themselves.”
“That may be true, but he’s got a pack now. Ruling a pack is different and has nothing to do with friendship, or with what he’s seen. There are laws that have been the same for centuries. No one can just abolish them.”
“I think he’ll do it anyway. I think the experiences he’s had have shaped him. He wouldn’t allow injustice to happen in this pack.”
She shook her head. “I can’t believe this. As long as it’s not approved by the alpha, I can’t turn this guest house into anything. My own mate–“
Josh nodded. “I understand that, and I don’t want to put you in any danger. I’ll talk to Anthony and then let you know. Would that be a suggestion?”
She nodded. “Yes, it would. But please, please, don’t mention my name.”
Josh nodded. He’d known a lot had gone incredibly wrong in this pack, but to see how scared she was, just because he wanted to ask the alpha something, broke his heart. He swore he’d help this pack lose their fear.
He had to find Anthony first. Right now, nothing would happen without permission, and as much as it annoyed Josh, he couldn’t change it. He had to work with Antho
ny to let the pack members know he could make decisions about what would happen in the pack, because he didn’t want to have to run to Anthony every time. But that could wait. For now, he needed his okay to convert the guest house.
This seemed more important to him than getting the pack used to the new rules.
Like yesterday, the village seemed empty when Josh walked through the streets. They would definitely need some time to recover. If he had calculated correctly, Anthony’s father had been alpha here for over 30 years. The damage and traces left behind by the alpha’s reign wouldn’t disappear in a day or two. It would probably take years for this village to flourish again.
Josh finally found Anthony in the large meeting room they’d been yesterday. He sat, surrounded by some men and women, at a large table and was deep in a discussion with them. Josh waited by the side, hoping Anthony would notice him, but none of those present even looked up.
Should he just interrupt the meeting? That was rude, and it’d seem like he didn’t have respect for his mate. But on the other hand, standing here and listening was not polite either.
They discussed some outer borders of the territory, and Josh tuned them out. That was something he didn’t care about. He couldn’t shift, and he wouldn’t participate in any of their excursions. If he left the pack, he’d take the road to the city.
Finally the conversation came to a natural end, and Josh cleared his throat.
Anthony’s head flew up and he stared at Josh. “How long have you been there?” His voice sounded hard and rough.
Josh swallowed. He hadn’t expected this greeting. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You can interrupt us any time you need anything. You don’t have to stand there and wait.” Anthony’s voice was still hard, not at all the way he used to sound when he talked to Josh. His eyes were also different than in the past – harder too – and deep lines were visible on his forehead.
“I’m sorry. Next time I’ll say something right away. I just need a sec. I wanted to ask you something.”
