“So,” Ramsden said, scanning the form she had filled out, “what brings you here?”
“I’m not sure. I just feel, I don’t know, strange.”
“In what way?”
“I can’t explain it. More and more, I’m taking my rest at night instead of during the day. I can consume mortal food and drink. I’m gaining weight, something I’ve never done before. Sometimes I feel sick to my stomach. My breasts are tender.”
He looked at her, his eyes widening as she described her symptoms. “Is it possible . . . no, of course not, but . . .” He shook his head, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully. “Have you been intimate with a man lately?”
“Of course.” Vampires were notoriously sensual creatures.
Ramsden tapped his fingers on the clipboard, then laid it aside. “Lie back on the table and put your feet in the stirrups. I’m going to examine you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m going to give you a pelvic exam.” Opening the door, he called for his nurse, then dragged a stool up to the end of the table. After sitting down, he pulled on a rubber glove. “Have you ever been examined before?”
“Of course not. Will it hurt?”
“No. But there might be a little discomfort.”
Susan entered the room and took a place behind the doctor.
“What’s she doing in here?” Mara asked. “Does it take two of you to do a pelvic exam?”
Ramsden and his nurse both grinned, as if she had said something funny.
“It’s customary to have a nurse in the room for something like this,” the doctor explained.
Feeling scared and vulnerable, Mara lay back on the table, placed her bare feet in the cold metal stirrups, and closed her eyes while the doctor examined her. Discomfort really wasn’t the right word for it, she thought, gritting her teeth. Aside from being uncomfortable, she didn’t know which was more humiliating: having a strange man examine her so intimately, or having the nurse standing by, watching. Fortunately, it didn’t take long.
“You can sit up now,” Ramsden said. Scooting back from the table, he removed his glove and tossed it in a waste receptacle.
Sitting up, Mara smoothed the paper gown over her hips. “So?”
After dismissing his nurse and closing the door, Ramsden said, “I don’t quite know how to tell you this, but . . . you’re pregnant.”
Mara stared at the doctor as if he were speaking a foreign language. “What?”
“You’re pregnant. You know, in the family way. With child. A little over four months along, I’d say.”
She could only stare at him. “Pregnant?” She shook her head. “Are you sure?” She shook her head again. “It’s impossible!”
“I know.” He stared at her a moment, his expression distant. Rising, he picked up her chart. “Nevertheless, it’s true.”
“But . . . how can that be?”
Ramsden made a vague gesture with his hand. “I have no idea. Is Logan the father?”
“No.”
“I see.” He pulled a pen from his pocket and jotted a few things down. “Do you know who the father is?”
She hesitated a moment before shaking her head. “No.” She no longer had the power to read minds, but there was something about Dr. Ramsden that made her wary of sharing too much information about the baby’s father.
“Too bad.” Ramsden made another note on her chart, then regarded her thoughtfully for several moments. “You’re losing your powers, aren’t you?”
She started to ask how he knew, but the answer was obvious. Any vampire worth the name could sense the power another vampire possessed, just as they could detect the presence of another of the Undead, whether the other was in the same room or a mile away.
Ramsden made another notation. “How did this weakening of your powers happen?”
“I don’t know, but I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t spread it around.”
“Yes, of course, I understand.” Such knowledge could put her life in danger. “Did you lose your powers all at once,” he asked, “or gradually?”
“Gradually. What does any of this have to do with my being pregnant?”
“I’m not sure, but that’s something I hope to discover.”
“Do you think my powers will return after the baby is born?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure there’s any connection between your being pregnant and the loss of your powers. At this point, I’d say it was doubtful. In my opinion, if you lose your powers entirely, you probably won’t get them back.”
“Why not?”
“It’s just my opinion, you understand, but I think you’ll probably be immune to becoming a vampire again, sort of like humans are immune to the chicken pox once they’ve had the disease. Of course, I could be wrong. Only time will tell.”
“So, if I was to ask someone to turn me again, you don’t think it would work?”
“No, in fact I believe it would most likely be fatal for you and the baby.” Eyes narrowed, Ramsden stroked his chin, his attention momentarily focused elsewhere.
“Fatal?” A sudden coldness engulfed her as she repeated the word. And then she shook it off. As far as she knew, no vampire had ever reverted before, therefore Ramsden had no more of an idea than she did about what would happen if someone worked the Dark Trick on her a second time. Still, he was a doctor. His opinion, and the possible risks, were something to consider.
“Perhaps,” Ramsden said. “There’s no precedent for any of this, no way of knowing for certain what the consequences might be. We’re breaking new ground here. I want you to go down to the lab and let them take some blood.” He handed her the cup she had left on the counter. “And give them a urine sample.”
Ramsden pulled a pad from the pocket of his lab coat, scribbled a few lines, and tore off a sheet of paper. “Give this to the technician downstairs. Seeing as how you’re able to digest mortal food with no ill effects, I want you to stop at a drugstore on your way home and buy some prenatal vitamins. Since I’ve never looked after a pregnant vampire before, we’ll handle this as we would any other pregnancy and see how it goes.” Patting her on the shoulder, he said, “I know this is hard to accept, but stars above, it’s a miracle.”
Or a curse, Mara thought bleakly. “The . . . the baby, will it be a vampire?”
“There’s no way to know for sure one way or the other.” The doctor took both of her hands in his. “I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful, but we’re both breaking new ground here. There’s nothing about this kind of thing in Doctor Spock.” He grinned at her, then grew serious once more. “I think we need to discuss the possibility that you might not be able to carry the child to full term. To my knowledge, no vampire has ever given birth or sired a child.”
Mara thought of Vince Cordova. He had sired twins, but he had been a new vampire at the time. If she was still a fledgling, it would be easier to understand how she could be pregnant, but she had been a vampire for centuries . . . Getting pregnant should have been impossible. She must have been gradually losing her powers without being aware of it while she and Kyle were together. It was the only answer that made sense.
“We’ll have to monitor your progress very carefully,” Ramsden was saying. “It might be necessary to hospitalize you during your last trimester.”
“My what?”
“During the last three months of your pregnancy.”
“Why?”
“Simply as a precaution.”
Mara stared at him, a thousand questions running through her mind. A child! She didn’t want a child. Rane and Rafe had grown and aged like normal mortal children until they turned thirteen and their vampire natures had taken over. Would her child react the same way? If not, if it was born a vampire, it would never grow up. It might age mentally, but physically it would always be an infant, dependent on her for its every need. What kind of life would that be for either of them?
“I know you must have a number of questions,” Ramsden said, chuckl
ing. “I have quite a few myself, but at the moment, I don’t have any answers. I’ll need to see your bloodwork, and then examine you again. Come back in six weeks. You can make an appointment at the desk on your way out. And don’t hesitate to call me if you need to talk, or if you experience any contractions or bleeding.”
She stared after him as he left the room, her mind whirling. Pregnant! How on earth could she be pregnant? What would Kyle say? Should she tell him? And what about Logan? Pregnant! It just wasn’t possible, and yet the doctor seemed convinced that she was expecting.
Feeling numb, she wadded up the paper gown and tossed it into the trash. She stood there a moment, her fingers splayed across her belly, and then shook her head. She couldn’t be pregnant. Ramsden had made a mistake—that’s all there was to it.
After dressing, she went out into the reception area.
Logan was pacing the floor. He came to an abrupt halt when he saw her, then hurried toward her. “What did the doctor say?”
“I’ll tell you later. I have to go downstairs so they can draw some blood.”
Logan lifted one brow. “Are you kidding me?”
“That’s what I said.” Turning back to the receptionist, Mara made an appointment for her next visit.
“A blood test,” Logan muttered as they took the elevator down to the lab. “What’s the cup for?”
“You don’t need to know.”
The elevator doors opened into a large room that reminded Logan of a bank vault. “Do you suppose he has vampires working down here?”
“How should I know?” Mara replied irritably. There could be a hundred vampires in the building and she would never know it. When they passed a wastebasket, she tossed the cup inside.
“You know, this might not be a bad place to work,” Logan remarked as they walked down a long gray corridor. “You could draw blood for lab tests, and take a little extra for yourself.”
“Very funny.”
A heavy-set woman with orange hair smiled at them when they reached the lab. “May I help you?”
Mara handed the woman the piece of paper the doctor had given her.
The woman glanced at it and wrote something down on a clipboard. “Just follow me. This will only take a minute.”
After sending a worried look at Logan, Mara followed the woman into a small room. The walls were pale green, lined with glass-fronted cupboards. Mara sat in the chair the woman indicated and rolled up her sleeve.
“Here,” the woman said, giving her a square of foam rubber. “Squeeze that for me.”
“Why?”
“It’ll bring your veins up. That’s right.” The technician wrapped a strip of rubber around Mara’s arm, then inserted a needle.
Mara stared at the blood that began to fill the syringe. In the past, her blood had always been dark red; now it was a much brighter hue. Mortal blood. Feeling suddenly queasy at the sight, she turned her head away.
“You’re not going to faint on me, are you?” the woman asked, worry evident in her tone.
“No.”
“We’re just about done,” the woman said. “You’re not allergic to paper tape, are you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” the woman said cheerfully. After removing the needle, she placed a cotton ball over the tiny wound, then covered it with a strip of tape. “Doctor will call you with the results in a few days.”
With a nod, Mara left the room.
“How was it?” Logan asked curiously.
“Horrible, like everything else.”
He slipped his arm around her waist and gave her a sympathetic hug as they headed for the exit. “Sorry, love.”
“It’s not your fault. Was she a vampire?”
“Yeah, a fairly old one.”
“And the receptionist upstairs?”
“No, she’s human. The nurse was a fledgling, not more than a few months old.” He glanced at her, frowning. “Couldn’t you tell?”
“No.” She stared into the distance a moment before asking, “Have you ever wanted to be human again?”
He considered the question a moment, then shook his head. “No. So, what did the doctor say? What’s making you sick?”
“I’ll tell you in the car. You’ll never believe it.” She couldn’t believe it, either.
Neither did Logan when she told him.
“Pregnant?” He pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street. “How in the hell can you be pregnant?”
“I don’t know. Neither does the doctor.” She gazed out the window. “Logan, I’ve lost most of my powers. When I was with the doctor, I couldn’t tell if he was human or one of us. Even with you . . . I can’t feel the bond between us anymore.”
His hand tightened on the steering wheel. “I know.” The bond no longer went both ways, but because of the blood they had shared, he could still read her mind if he chose to do so, could sense her proximity even when they were apart.
“I don’t want to be mortal again!” she exclaimed. “I don’t want a baby. A baby! What do I know about taking care of a baby?”
“You don’t have to have it if you don’t want it.”
She stared at him. He was talking about an abortion. It was an ugly word, and an ugly deed. She knew little about childbirth, but she had watched a documentary about abortion and wondered how anyone could kill a living fetus. She had done some brutal things in the course of her existence, but she had never preyed upon the young or the helpless. Or the unborn.
Placing her hand over her stomach, she tried to imagine a child growing inside her womb. Kyle’s child. A little boy with her black hair and Kyle’s gray eyes. “No, not that.” She couldn’t kill her own child.
“What are you going to do, then?”
“I don’t know.”
She didn’t want to be human again, didn’t know how to be human. She knew there were vampires who hated what they were, who spent their entire existence lamenting their lost humanity. They were among the most miserable creatures she had ever known. She had never been one of them. Once she’d accepted what had happened to her, she had made the most of it. True, she had killed her sire, not for turning her against her will, but for abandoning her once the deed had been done.
Human again. How could she survive without her preternatural powers? Others of her kind had envied her strength and her longevity. In the course of her existence, she had made a good number of enemies. Secure in her strength, knowing she was virtually indestructible, she had blithely said and done as she pleased and to hell with the consequences. But now . . . now she had little supernatural strength. She was nearly as vulnerable as any mortal female. Even Ramsden had sensed it. In time, would she lose what little preternatural power she had left?
She glanced at Logan. Should she have confided in him? Was she being foolish to trust him? She had never trusted anyone. How could she start now, when she was weak, helpless? If she wanted to survive, she was going to have to consider everyone her enemy. And what about her doctor? Dared she trust him? Vampires were notoriously suspicious of their own kind, jealous of their hunting grounds, protective of their lairs.
She wondered how many of those she had turned were still alive, how many men she had thoughtlessly offended might still carry a grudge.
She shrugged off her fears. Worrying wouldn’t solve anything. The world was a big place. She had rarely run into any of the men she had turned.
Logan pulled into her driveway and cut the engine, then turned to face her. “Do you know who the father is?”
“Of course!”
He lifted one brow. “So, are you gonna tell me his name?”
She shook her head. “You don’t know him.”
“But he’s human?”
“That’s a stupid question! Of course he is.”
“So, where is he?”
“I don’t know.”
“Does he know about the baby?”
“No. And I’m not going to tell him
,” she said, anticipating his next question. “Can we not talk about this right now?”
Even though the bond between them was gone, Logan had no trouble reading her thoughts. She was worried, confused, and more distrustful than ever. He could hear the rapid beat of her heart, smell the panic she was trying to hide. He supposed he couldn’t blame her. She was treading where no vampire had journeyed before. It was bound to be disturbing. As for losing her powers, he couldn’t begin to imagine what that would be like, could scarcely remember what it had been like to walk the earth as a mortal man.
Resting his arm along the back of her seat, he lightly stroked her hair. “You’ve nothing to fear from me. You know that, don’t you?”
“I don’t know anything anymore,” she replied sullenly. “I just want this to be over!”
“Come on, let’s go inside.”
Taking the key from the ignition, Logan got out of the car. Opening her door, he offered her his hand, felt a brief flare of annoyance when she hesitated before placing her palm in his. He told himself to be patient. He had loved her from the moment they met, and that hadn’t changed. He knew she was fond of him; in her own way, she might even love him. But things were different now. For the first time in their long acquaintance, she needed him. And she didn’t like it one little bit.
“Are you going to be all right?” he asked.
“How should I know? This has never happened to me before.”
“Maybe you should come home with me.”
“Not tonight.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She needed to be alone, to come to terms with what was happening to her. Mortal. Pregnant. Impossible. “Thank you for your help.”
“I still think you should come home with me tonight.”
“I need some time alone, time to sort all this out.”
Logan nodded. He could understand that, but he didn’t like the idea of leaving her alone, not now, when she was as vulnerable as a new fledgling. “I’ll see you tomorrow night. If you need me before then, give me a call.”
“Yes, I will.” She stood on the front porch, watching as he got into his car and drove away.
She was pregnant. It had never occurred to her to ask Kyle to take precautions, but why would it? Vampires couldn’t reproduce. Everyone knew that. Only, she wasn’t a true vampire anymore.
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