by Shayla Black
She couldn’t stay another five minutes. How was she going to leave her father here for eternity?
“Buck up,” she muttered to herself. “And do it.”
For him.
After all, his request had been straightforward. She’d done the hard part by traveling across the country, leaving behind the men who cared so much about her—with no assurances of a future—to come here and fulfill this solemn duty. All she had to do now was turn the lid, tip the urn over, and reunite her father with his beloved Wisconsin home.
But Heavenly hesitated. Leave Daddy here, among the emptiness and neglect? Let him stew forever on what had become of the farm they had both once loved?
Everything inside her screamed no.
Maybe she was being silly and sentimental. Maybe he was up in heaven and could see past the run-down hovel to the tradition and love the farm had once held. Maybe leaving him here would help bring the land full circle so it could heal.
She had to look at it that way or she’d never be at peace with what she had to do.
But when she fitted her fingers around the urn’s lid, she froze. Everything inside her shrieked a resounding stop!
Heavenly clutched the silver vessel tighter, tears springing to her eyes.
If she left her father here, how would she ever visit him? He would be spread with the wind, scattered in all directions. Where would she talk to him?
She was making excuses now, but since his death, she’d been trying to close her eyes and reach him. She’d hoped he would come to her in her dreams or somehow give her a sign.
Nothing. She felt every bit as abandoned as this house, and if she left her father’s ashes behind, it would only seem as if she’d written both the farm and the man off to the past and turned her back on them for good.
She couldn’t do it. But she also couldn’t take her father’s ashes with her. If she returned to LA, he’d hate being stuck somewhere he’d always associated with illness and misery. If she decided to spread her wings and see the world, as he’d urged, she wasn’t sure where he’d get the rest he deserved.
Frozen with indecision, Heavenly gripped the urn so tightly the edge bit into her fingers. Tears spilled down her cheeks. She shuddered. For the first time since his death, she let her grief out of its cage. Sorrow stole the air from her lungs, sapping her strength. She fell to her knees, not caring that mud from a recent rain caked her pants and chilled her.
She had no idea how long she stayed that way. All she knew was that she’d never felt more alone and she’d never been so unsure about which path to take.
Somehow, she had to find the strength to get up, move forward. Fulfill her promise to Dad.
Instead, she sobbed, pressing her hand to her chest—and finding the beautiful Tiffany pendant Seth had given her. With a grateful sniffle, she gripped it in her fingers and drew from its strength. She’d never have her father’s loving guidance again, but she had Beck’s and Seth’s. The only thing she wanted in this world right now was their strong arms around her, supporting her, reassuring her. Steadying her.
Maybe it was unfair to call them, but they’d sworn they would be there for her. Hopefully, one of them would be awake this early, maybe help her figure out which path to take. Then she could fulfill the destiny her father had laid at her feet and finally start untangling her future.
With trembling fingers, she reached into her pocket, sucked back her tears, and dashed off a text in the hopes they’d answer.
Seth searched the sleek cabinets in Beck’s ultramodern kitchen for a coffee mug. Thankfully, the good doctor had been kind enough to leave a fresh pot before heading to the hospital. When Seth found a cup, he filled it to the brim and sucked back the steaming caffeine.
It was the first thing that had buoyed him in nearly twenty-four hours.
After seeing Heavenly off at the airport in Vegas yesterday, he and Beck had retrieved Raine’s car, then caravanned back to LA. They’d stopped briefly to deliver the keys, along with most of Heavenly’s worldly possessions, to Hammer and Liam’s little spitfire. Since neither he nor Beck had been in the mood to visit, they’d said their good-nights and left in his SUV.
“Where to?” he’d asked.
“Anywhere but that fucking condo.” Beck looked as glum as he felt.
Honestly, Seth would have rather shoved his balls in a vise than spend the night surrounded by Heavenly’s ghost. The not knowing when—or even if—she was coming back to them was killing him.
“Deal.” Seth had turned onto the freeway and driven to Beck’s house.
“Want to come in for a drink?” the doctor offered while he idled at the curb.
“Thanks. I’m not ready to stew in the silence at my shithole of an apartment.” Or think about the fact that he’d moved coasts to be with a woman who might not stick around.
“If you want, you’re welcome to crash in one of my guest rooms.”
Seth had been mentally and physically exhausted…and he’d liked the idea of being with the only other person who could understand the misery he was going through, so he’d accepted.
Gulping back more coffee, he strode to the far end of the kitchen and stared out the patio door, into the backyard. Any other day, Seth would have found peace in the morning sun twinkling off the waterfall of the multitiered infinity pool. Not today. What fitful sleep he’d managed last night hadn’t improved his outlook. Though Heavenly had texted them when her plane landed and again after checking into her motel—and he’d verified her position via her GPS tracker—worry still choked Seth.
He whipped out his phone to check her location again. Heavenly was a few miles from the motel in what looked like the middle of a field. She must be at the farm, spreading Abel’s ashes. He hoped like hell that would bring her some peace and clarity about where she belonged so she could start thinking about a future with them.
Of course, he’d rather be helping her through what must be the hardest thing she’d ever faced and proving she could rely on him. And Beck. Funny how the picture didn’t seem complete now without him. Then they’d take her home with them—for good.
But she’d chosen to grieve alone.
Trying not to envision Heavenly with anguished tears streaming down her face, Seth scrubbed a frustrated hand through his hair. Fuck, he couldn’t stand here and do nothing.
Bounding up the stairs, he made his way to the monochromatic-as-fuck bathroom and took a scalding shower. The steaming water did nothing to wash away his disquiet. Neither did checking Heavenly’s location again. She hadn’t moved in the last ten minutes. Was that a good sign…or bad?
Once dressed, he padded back to the kitchen, refilled his mug, and meandered to the pool. Still no peace. The incessant tick of the automatic sprinklers on the upper terrace chafed his nerves.
What the hell was he going to do today? And tomorrow? And all the other days without Heavenly? During his restless night, he’d thought about returning to New York. But he had nothing to go back to except a family who no longer needed him and a slew of memories, some really shitty. Besides, what if Heavenly returned?
Seth plopped onto Beck’s minimalist, white-on-white couch and picked up the TV remote. As he pointed the device at the big screen, a door snicked open and Beck stepped inside.
Seth glanced at his watch. “That didn’t take long.”
“Only had a few patients this morning.” Beck snagged Seth’s mug off the high-gloss melamine coffee table and took a gulp.
“Hey, asswipe. There’s still half a pot in the kitchen.”
Beck smirked. “You’re welcome for that.”
That took his annoyance down a few notches. “Sorry. Thanks for leaving me the coffee.”
“Let me guess. You’re climbing the walls.”
“Pretty much and it’s only six thirty in the fucking morning. It’s going to be a long-ass day.”
Beck nodded grimly. “I didn’t expect anything different.”
“I’m worried about having a long-as
s life. I wish she wasn’t so goddamn confused…”
“I’ve never had to force myself to focus on patients like I did today. It sucked hairy gorilla balls.”
Seth couldn’t help but chuckle. “Sucked a lot of those?”
With a sigh, Beck pocketed his keys and loosened his tie. “Not until this morning.”
“So you’re done at the hospital?”
He nodded. “Since it’s Sunday, it was slow anyway.”
“Goody. We have all day to talk each other off the ledge.”
“Yep. I have a feeling—”
Beck paused mid-sentence when their cell phones chimed in tandem. Each scrambled to grab their device. When he glanced at the screen, a message from Heavenly popped up.
Are you awake?
Seth tapped back immediately. YES. You okay?
Beck plopped down beside him, fingers flying. The other man’s message appeared beneath his own. We’re both awake and together. Need to talk?
Heavenly didn’t respond right away. Seth’s heart rate—and agitation—skyrocketed. Had she made a decision about her future? Was she giving them a Dear John kiss-off via text?
Neither man spoke, simply stared at their phones. The ticking clock on the wall was every bit as unnerving as the interminable moments slipping by. Beck gripped his mobile as if it were a live grenade before typing out another message.
Are you still there?
No response.
Crawling out of his skin now, Seth counted ten more ticks of the clock before adding his two cents.
We need to know what’s going on.
A few seconds later, Beck’s phone rang.
Heavenly’s name popped up on his display. Seth worried this wasn’t good.
The doctor accepted the call and engaged the speakerphone. “Talk to us. Is everything all right?”
“I c-can’t do it,” Heavenly sobbed out. “I can’t.”
Their girl wasn’t crying pretty tears, but sobbing inconsolably. The gut-wrenching sound ripped Seth’s heart from his chest.
The doctor swallowed tightly. “Take a deep breath, little girl. Try to calm down. Tell us what’s wrong.”
She only wept harder.
“What can’t you do, angel?” Seth forced a calm he didn’t feel. “Handle your hometown? Spread your dad’s ashes?” Or come back to us?
“I came all this way and I just can’t,” she choked out.
He and Beck shared a glance filled with both concern and relief. She was clearly going through hell, but at least she’d reached out to them.
“Why?” Beck asked softly.
“I was looking forward to coming home, but now I feel so…unwelcome.” She sniffled, then broke down again. “I can’t put Dad to rest here. It would be like dumping him in a foreign wasteland.”
Beck looked grim. He probably felt powerless, too. After all, what the hell could they do thousands of miles away, except talk to her?
“How can we help you?” Seth asked.
“You can’t,” she sobbed. “These were his wishes. I know that. But I…”
“Are you also afraid you’ll be alone once you put him to rest?”
“How did you know?”
“I’ve been there.”
Beck sent him a questioning glance. “Would it be easier if we came to help?”
She hesitated. “I can’t ask you guys to drop everything.”
“You’re not,” Beck pointed out. “We’re offering.”
“It’s such a long way and I need to figure it out, like I did when we moved to LA.”
But she wanted to say yes so badly. Seth heard it in her voice.
“You don’t have to handle everything alone,” Beck insisted.
Seth nodded. “Because you’re not.”
Heavenly broke down again. Her mournful sobs only strengthened his resolve to be there for her. A glance at Beck told him the other man felt the same.
“Angel…” he crooned softy. “Say yes.”
“You’re killing us,” Beck croaked.
“I feel so guilty. I should be strong enough to do this.” She sniffed into a silence that seemed to last forever. “But…”
“What?” Seth demanded.
“I need you.” Her small voice broke his heart.
Finally, she was leaning on them. No, that didn’t mean she wanted forever…but it was a start.
“We’re on our way.” Beck’s voice was thick with emotion.
The sooner the better. “Where are you staying, angel?”
“The Seagull Motel.” She still sounded in danger of crumbling.
Seth was already Googling the place. He knew its location from her GPS tracker, but nothing more.
“Since it’s off-season here, the room is cheaper than usual, thank goodness. I’m close to the water, and it’s kind of homey…but it only has a queen bed. Maybe they have a rollaway I can sleep on.”
Before she’d finished speaking, Seth had the motel’s website on his phone. He sent Beck a scowl. The doctor scanned the image, then flashed him a what-the-fuck grimace. Glad to know they agreed. She was not spending another night in that shithole.
“We’ll see about finding someplace bigger.” Beck skirted possible confrontation. “Right now, go rest and relax, then check out of your motel. We’ll be there soon.”
“You mean…today?”
“Hopefully before dinner.” Seth vowed to make it happen.
“Oh, wow. That would mean so much to me.”
The relief in her voice was so sharp it nearly cut him. “We’ll do anything for you. You should know that.”
He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but not when she was grieving. Not when he couldn’t look into her eyes and show her how much he meant those words.
“Thank you. Text me your arrival time. I’ll pick you up. Pack warm clothes. You’ll need them.”
The second Beck ended the call, they both leapt off the couch and raced for the stairs.
The doctor tapped furiously at his phone, then pressed it to his ear. “Hey, Gloria.” He paused. “No. Everything is not all right. Seth and I are stuck here, and Heavenly’s an emotional wreck in Wisconsin. Can you ask your client if he has a jet in LA that can take us to her?”
As Seth darted into the guest room to repack the bug-out bag he’d taken to Vegas while simultaneously searching Bayfield for better accommodations, he prayed the redhead’s stellar connections would come through.
When he’d finished, he zipped his duffel shut. Anything he’d forgotten or didn’t have, he’d buy in Wisconsin.
Slinging the bag over his shoulder, he rushed out of the room and nearly plowed into Beck, who was doing the same.
“Was Gloria able to get us a plane?”
“Don’t know yet. She’s going to call me back.”
“I can’t sit here waiting for the damn phone to ring.” Seth gave zero fucks if he sounded like an ungrateful prick.
“I vote we head to Santa Monica airport. If we haven’t heard from Gloria by then, we’ll charter our own goddamn jet.”
“Fuck yeah. Let’s get to our girl.”
After fighting the shitty LA traffic for what seemed like an eternity, Seth pulled into a parking space at the little airport. As he cut the vehicle’s engine, Beck’s cell phone rang.
The doctor whipped out the device and engaged the speakerphone. “Talk to me, Gloria.”
“How fast can you get your asses to the Santa Monica airport?”
Both men grinned. “We’re already here.”
“Good. You’re lucky bastards. I sweet-talked you both onto a flight that leaves in less than an hour.”
“Are you shitting me?” Beck barked.
“No…but there’s a catch,” Gloria warned.
Seth nearly groaned. “What?”
“You’ll be sharing the plane with some band heading to New York. I guess they’re a big deal.”
“Is it Licks of Leather?” Beck asked hopefully.
Seth turned to him.
“That would be great. They’re awesome.”
“Hell, if they were on the plane, I’d hitch a ride, too.” She laughed. “Anyway, when these guys found out true love was at stake, they agreed to make a pit stop in Wisconsin—but only if they can write a song about it.”
Seth shrugged. “Fine. Let’s just go.”
“Get your asses on that plane and save your girl.” Gloria paused. “Oh, and Ken? You owe me.”
“Add it to my tab.”
She chuckled. “I want updates, damn it. And, guys, don’t fuck this up.”
Now that Heavenly was beginning to trust them? Seth scoffed. “No chance.”
Less than thirty minutes later, the jet lifted off the runway. Seth and Beck had no clue who the stylish, pubescent Brits were. But the five-man boy band had a million questions.
“So which of you blokes is chasing your girl across the country?” asked one with brown waves brushing his shoulders, dimples, and fresh tats on his arms. “And the other, are you going for moral support or to be a third wheel?”
Seth shot Beck a stare. Apparently no one had given these youngsters the 411 about their trip.
Beck shook his head. “It’s complicated. We’re both in love with her.”
The blond kid twirling drumsticks in his fingers grinned. “So you’re going to fight for her? Brilliant!”
“No.” Seth raised a brow. “We’re past that. We share her.”
“In bed? At the same time?” asked another, looking less like a jaded pop star and more like a shocked kid. “Do you shag each other as well?”
“You ask the stupidest questions.” Another bandmate with a cleft chin and an attitude rolled his eyes.
“Hell no!” Seth answered.
“Ever. And we don’t plan on it,” Beck put in.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Seth added. If they’d bummed a ride to Heavenly with musicians who happened to be gay, he didn’t want any hard feelings. “If that’s your thing, it’s cool. It’s just not ours.”
