by Shayla Black
“That’s why I’m calling, to let you know the guys and I talked last night—”
“Is that all you did?” her friend drawled.
Heavenly felt warmth steal up her cheeks. “Not exactly. How did you know?”
“Because if I were in your shoes and my men had come across the country for me, I would have wanted them to comfort me while none of us was wearing a stitch, and they would have been happy to indulge me. After all, I didn’t get pregnant by playing checkers with Liam and Hammer.”
She laughed. “We had a very nice evening, and I’ve decided to come back to LA with Beck and Seth until the end of this semester.”
“Then what?”
“I don’t know.” Heavenly explained the agreement they’d reached.
Afterward, Raine hesitated so long Heavenly almost wondered if they’d lost connection. “I know you’re going through a lot right now and I don’t mean to sound as if I’m not happy you’re coming back, but if you stay a handful of weeks and leave again, you’ll break their hearts.”
“That’s been my worry, too. They insisted they’re willing to take that risk…but I know you’re right.” Heavenly sighed. “The thing is, my whole life changed in a blink when Dad died. Now that every day and every decision isn’t dictated by his illness, I have all these choices I never thought I’d have. The sudden freedom has been a lot to wrap my head around. But honestly, it’s a little exciting, too. I feel guilty about that.”
“Sweetie, feelings aren’t right or wrong. They just are.” She heard something wry in Raine’s voice. “I learned that in therapy.”
“I know. But deciding what should come next has been surprisingly overwhelming. At first I thought maybe I’d honor Dad by going to Chicago next. He and I always swore we’d go someday. But after I talked to the guys, I realized it made more sense to come back to LA and finish the semester while I spend time with them. After all, it’s pointless to toss away the hard work I’ve put in at school and at the hospital. Plus, no matter how much my dad wanted me to start the next chapter of my life alone…my heart keeps telling me to stay with Beck and Seth.”
“I’m sure they made you a pretty persuasive argument, too. All night long.”
“Um…they did.”
Amusement tinged Raine’s laughter. “For what it’s worth, I think you should follow your heart. It worked out when I did. But I had to say something about the possibility of Beck and Seth being hurt. They’re like my brothers. I can’t help but want to protect them. The ways they bent over backward to help me with Hammer and Liam… I can never repay them.”
“I totally understand. But I don’t think I can decide anything, much less move on, until I see if we have a real future together. When I’m with them, I feel safe and happy. And I’ve wanted that for so long. My instinct keeps telling me we could have something special. But I know what my dad would have said about that…”
“Sweetie, I didn’t know him and we’ll talk another time about why you were in such a bad situation and never asked for my help, but he’s gone and you can’t live your life for him.”
Heavenly couldn’t ask if Raine had wanted to disappoint her father; she’d had to kill the man before he killed her. So maybe she didn’t understand. “I know, but it’s hard not to feel like he’s up there watching me and shaking his head.”
“Are you really going to let that stop you from having the life you want?” Raine sighed. “Look, do I think my mom would have approved of me living with Hammer and Liam? Of having no idea which of them got me pregnant? No. But she was devout enough to think anything other than traditional marriage was a sin. She was also scared of her own shadow. That’s not me. Did you agree with everything your dad thought and did?”
She made a really good point. “No.”
“You’re different people. He lived his life. I get that his was too short, and I understand that most dads only want what’s best for their kids. Mine was a horrible exception, but I grasp the concept. Hell, my babies aren’t even born yet, and I’m already wanting to plan their perfect lives. And don’t get me started on the two control freaks I live with… But we can’t do that because our kids will have their own paths to take, just like you have yours.”
“You’re really smart.” Tears stung Heavenly’s eyes. “And all this confusion has made me feel so dumb.”
“Not dumb, sweetie. His death was sudden, and you’ve been through a lot. Besides, you saw the physical mess I was after I killed Bill. You don’t see the emotional wreck. I’m still in therapy. I still have nightmares. But Hammer and Liam are here for me every step of the way. Beck and Seth have been for you, too, right?”
She sniffled. “They’ve gone above and beyond.”
“Exactly. They’re being more patient with you in all this turmoil than you’re being with yourself. They don’t expect you to have all the answers right now, do they? If they do, I’ll rip them new assholes. I can, you know. I’m a hormonal Molotov cocktail.”
Despite her misery, Heavenly laughed. “No. And in a fight, my money would be on you.”
Raine chuckled, her voice soft and warm again. “All I’m saying is let yourself make the best decision for you—without worrying what your dad or the people at the hospital or anyone else would say. I’m pretty sure everyone at my hair salon thinks I’m an utter whore for living with two men. I don’t care. In fact, I don’t give two shits because I’m happy. And I’m almost sure most of them are miserable bitches who are jealous of my sex life, but I don’t have the energy to care. Get to that place before you make decisions. Be sure that whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it for you.”
“You’re right. And whatever happens, I’ll do my best to make sure the guys are at peace with the outcome.”
“You have to be happy. They won’t be if you only stay to make them happy. Just like you can’t live for your dad, you can’t live for Beck and Seth. Personally, I think they’re going to make you so over the moon with bliss, you’ll never want to leave. But if I’m wrong and you need to go to Chicago or wherever, then go.”
But Heavenly did understand. “Yeah. I’m coming back to LA with an open mind and an open heart. I’m going to treat this relationship as if it’s permanent and really try to make it work. Then come June, I’ll make the choice that makes me happiest. And if that’s apart from them, I’ll let them down gently.”
“Thank you. But I think it’s too late for the gentle thing, sweetie. They love you.”
“I know. They told me last night.”
“What did you say?”
When they’d first confessed how they felt, she’d been shocked mute. Her heart had stopped. Her belly had flipped. Even now when she mentally replayed the moment, she fought not to cry.
Funny how three words made everything so real…
“Nothing. I was too busy sobbing.”
“Were their feelings really news to you?”
“Yes.”
“Then you weren’t paying attention. But you’ve had your hands full, so I get it. Listen, you love them, too, right? I haven’t been misreading you all this time?”
Some turbulence jostled the plane. Heavenly gripped the arm of her seat. Beck and Seth both shifted in their cushy recliners mid-cabin.
Eyeing them, she answered carefully. “You haven’t.”
“Can’t talk? Are they nearby?”
“Still asleep…I think.”
“Ah,” Raine crooned as if that explained everything. “Well, will you promise me something? Don’t tell them you love them unless you’re sure you want to stay for good.”
Because it would be too painful if she said the words and then left anyway. “I won’t. I promise.”
“Thanks. What time do you land? It’s a gorgeous day here, and if this is going to be your first night living under the same roof with them, you should make it special.”
She hadn’t thought of that, but it made sense. “We’ll be at Beck’s place before noon, I think. You have something in mind, don’t you?”
“Oh, I do.” She laughed.
That sounded a little cunning and full of delicious badness. Heavenly was on board. “What do I need to do?”
“Tell the guys you need some stuff. Get a credit card. We’ll go shopping, and I’ll explain a few things you need to understand before tonight.”
Seth sauntered through the doors of Cooper Investigations West after dropping Beck off at the hospital. When he clapped eyes on River Kendall, he found the man sitting behind his desk, cell phone in hand, staring at his laptop. “I’m back. What’s up?”
Raine’s older brother jolted. “Jesus, you scared me. I didn’t think you’d be in today.”
“Surprise. Did I interrupt a special moment with your favorite porn site?”
River rolled his eyes. “Hardly. Mrs. Ellison says to thank you for proving her husband is a cheating perv. The guys over at Mercury Central called to say the extra security tech is working great and they’ve already caught a thieving employee. And we have a new contract from a chain of local daycare centers to run background checks on prospective employees.”
“Kiddie Kares called back? That’s great. Sounds like you’ve handled everything.” In fact, if River kept this up, Seth might give serious consideration to making him a partner.
“Well, taking money for spying on people is kind of awesome. I wish I’d done this sooner.”
Seth laughed. “I won’t ask about any other voyeuristic tendencies you have…”
River nodded. “Yeah. Don’t.”
“But since you’re so happy, do you mind holding down the fort for another week? Beck and I convinced Heavenly to come back with us, at least for now.”
“Nice. I got things covered here,” River assured before handing off a stack of client files. “Except this shit.”
Seth checked them over, trying to focus on work, not the fact that Heavenly had chosen to spend their first afternoon home with her BFF, not him and Beck. Yes, she needed distractions and other friends, just like she’d need personal space. But that didn’t mean he had to love the time they spent apart, especially when she’d only guaranteed them a finite number of weeks.
The other worry that plagued Seth was Heavenly’s safety. For the umpteenth time today, he tapped the app that pinpointed her location. Sinking into his desk chair, he gauged her position. Based on the numerous stores clustered together, Heavenly and Raine were still shopping—and giving his credit card a workout.
A few hours later, he closed the last of the files he’d been studying and smiled River’s way. “Great work, man. You’re doing one hell of a job.”
“Thanks.”
“So…can I assume this will be your level of performance from here on out? Or are you throwing yourself into work to stop obsessing over that fact that Pike is dating your girl now?”
“Christ, I’d ask if TMZ is reporting my personal shit, but I’m sure it’s just Raine running her meddling mouth,” River snarled. “I’m not obsessing over the girl. I just want to talk to her. I have some…unanswered questions.”
“Like how she could cozy up with Pike?”
“Well, that. Yeah. But I’ve got other things on my mind, too. Let’s just say that night was full of surprises.”
“But you don’t have any feelings for her?”
“I don’t have feelings.”
Seth wasn’t buying that. “So you wouldn’t care if Pike brought her to Shadows and you saw him bind her, spank her, go down on her, penetr—”
“Shut the fuck up.” The junior PI launched from his chair, thundering a glare his way. “I’m done talking about her.”
But he clearly wasn’t done thinking about her. Or wanting her.
Seth bit back a grin. “What did you say her name was?”
“I didn’t.”
He blocked River’s path. “Take it from experience. If you’re still thinking about her, you shouldn’t give up. Maybe it’s time to try winning her over. I’m happy to give you pointers.”
“On how to share? Save your breath. I’m never sharing anything with Pike, especially her.”
“All right. If you change your mind, my offer stands.” Seth let it go with a casual shrug, but he couldn’t wait to fill Beck in.
From his pocket, his cell phone chimed. When he plucked it free, Seth couldn’t help but chuckle ironically. Speak of the devil…
Finished here. You about done?
He tapped back that he’d leave in five and tucked his phone away again.
“I’m heading out,” he announced. “Call me if you have any issues.”
“Will do.” River gave him a curt nod.
With a slap on the other guy’s back, Seth left his office and headed to the hospital.
As soon as the doctor jumped into his SUV, Seth steered down the freeway toward his apartment.
“I’m damn glad we convinced Heavenly to come back with us,” Beck said.
“Yeah, temporarily,” Seth spat.
“Don’t go there. We’ll convince her to stay permanently because we can give her what she wants—belonging, love, and a sense of family.”
“I’m all for that.” Seth paused. “But we don’t need a bigger family right now, so we should get her on birth control ASAP. Besides, I fucking hate condoms.”
“I wouldn’t know what sex without one feels like.”
So Beck had never done the monogamy thing?
“It’s”—Seth’s lips quirked in a grin—“nice.”
“And pleasant?” Beck teased, tongue in cheek. “I wouldn’t mind doing without one either. But I’m not against expanding our family. I love the thought of Heavenly carrying our child.”
“Right now? Are you out of your mind?”
“You can’t picture her belly all round and ripe with—”
“No. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Beck cocked his head. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I won’t knock her up to trap her into staying with us.”
“Who said anything about trapping her? Christ, man. Don’t get your boxers in a twist. We wouldn’t get her pregnant without her consent.”
“Which isn’t coming. She just spent years caring for her dad. Now she wants to spread her wings so badly, she’s halfway out the door,” Seth bit out. “How would she feel if she got knocked up and took our kid with her?”
“Look, you and I already decided to do whatever it takes to make her happy. If we manage that, she won’t leave.”
Seth wasn’t convinced. “A baby won’t make her happy, man. She needs to finish school, not for us to tie her down.”
“I’m not saying we plant our seed tonight. But neither of us is getting any younger. I still want to be able to teach our kids how to surf, bungee jump, play baseball—that kind of shit—while I can.”
“You talk like you’ll be in a wheelchair next week,” Seth drawled. “We can still do those things ten years from now.”
“Ten years?” Beck barked, horror written all over his face. “Fuck that. I’ll be forty-six. I’m talking a year, two at the most. Is having kids a problem for you?”
This conversation was. “It’s not about me. After school, Heavenly wants to work. What about that?”
“We’ll hire a nanny. It’s not like we don’t have the money.”
Seth shook his head. “You’re pushing. She needs to settle in and find that sense of home you talked about. Then we need to make sure she knows she’s loved. After that, if she commits, maybe we talk about kids someday.”
Beck studied him with a piercing stare. “Why are you really against getting her pregnant?”
“I just told you why.”
“I get putting her needs above our own. But if we’re going to spend the rest of our lives with—”
“There’s no guarantee of that.”
Frustration rang in Beck’s sigh. “But if there was, would you want kids then?”
Seth clenched his jaw. “We’d have to discuss having a family with her. Right now,
I’m not in a hurry.”
A mumbled curse rolled off Beck’s lips. “Fine. We’ll talk to her about getting on the pill.”
“Can’t you just write her a script?”
“I could.” Beck shrugged. “But I’d feel better if she got checked out by an ob-gyn. I doubt she’s ever had an exam since she’s never been sexually active.”
That gave Seth pause. “I didn’t think about that.”
“I’ll get Heavenly an appointment once we discuss this with her. It is her body.”
“That you were all too willing to impregnate three minutes ago.”
“Bite me.” Beck growled. “I’m not going to apologize for wanting a family with our girl.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t. But talking about kids now is pointless.” Seth quickly switched his focus to the crazy LA traffic. “While we’re at it, there’s something you and I need to work out PDQ. That text you sent me last night about macking on Heavenly? It got me thinking… We both keep some weird hours. What happens when one of us is working and the other is home alone with her?”
Beck fell silent for several long seconds. “A month ago, I would have ordered some cock cages, but—”
“Fuck that. I’m not wearing a gates of hell for you or anybody.”
“Me, either. But I get where you’re going.” Beck grimaced. “It sucks.”
“Pretty much. And I have to be honest... If I was alone with her and she wanted me, I wouldn’t refuse her.”
“I wouldn’t, either,” Beck admitted. “And why should she have to wait because we can’t get our shit square?”
“Yep. I’m not jealous, per se…” Seth was past that now.
“Me, either. But?”
“Liam and Hammer struggled early in their relationship with Raine because they worried she would play favorites or pit one against the other.”
“That was in their heads.”
Seth disagreed. “For Liam, it felt real. Raine had been in love with Hammer for years. Liam had only known her for a few months. Until the three of them worked it out, he often felt like he was playing second fiddle.”
“But they’ve kept harmony by having a strictly open-door, open-relationship policy, at least from what Hammer has told me,” Beck said. “Raine agrees to give them equal attention, and neither gives the other shit about being with her.”
