Falling For Declan (Falling Book 8)

by Tracy Lorraine

  “Man trouble?”

  “You bet.”

  “Ain’t it always? Wanna talk about it?”

  I go to say no, but somehow the truth falls from my lips. “The guy I’ve been seeing is cheating on me.”

  “Ouch.”

  “And it’s Dec—”

  “As in, Declan Morrison?” she interrupts.

  “The one and only.”

  “Does Lilly know?”

  “Of course. She’s next in line behind me to rip him a new one, but I didn’t want to ruin Molly’s hen.”

  “Shit, you know how to make it complicated, girl.”

  “Tell me about it. I never should have gone there in the first place. We’ve hated each other since we were kids.”

  “I bet you had fun fucking all that hate out though, right?”

  I allow my thoughts to wander back over our time together. Yeah, it was fun. Too much bloody fun, which is why his betrayal is hurting like a mother now.

  I don’t get a chance to respond because Karen and Abbi appear, asking if we’re both ready to head down to the pool.

  It seems that short conversation about my man issues is only the start, because the second Liv gets me alone, she picks up where we left off.

  “So what about you?” I ask, trying to steer the conversation away from Dec because he’s already taken up too much of my headspace. “Anyone special at the moment?”

  “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

  “Oh?”

  “We’ve been together since our second year at uni, but it’s getting a little too complicated.” I’m more than happy to listen to someone else’s issues for a change, so I raise an eyebrow for her to continue. “He’s got stuff going on with his family and he’s…changed. I’m not sure we want the same things anymore,” she admits. “He’s not happy that I’ve applied for jobs all around the country. He says I love my career more than him, blah blah blah.”

  “What is it you do?”

  “Journalist.” Well, that explains how she was able to get me to open up without a second thought. “He’s Welsh, and doesn’t want to leave Cardiff, but I love going to new places, meeting new people. I’m more than happy to go where the job takes me. I’ve actually applied for one down here—it would be great to be by the sea for the summer. I could dump him before leaving and find myself a hot little summer romance…” Her thoughts trail off as she loses herself in her imagination. I don’t want to ruin it for her with more details of my disastrous seaside romance, so when Lilly calls over for me to join her in the sauna, I head over.

  “Have you heard from him?”

  “No.”

  “I’m going to ring him later. I need to know what’s going on. Something doesn’t feel right.”

  “Oh, don’t start with the freaky twin crap. He cheated and got caught, Lilly. Your weird feeling isn’t going to change that.”

  Declan

  I don’t really give a shit about what it is I’ve supposedly done, but I’m furious about the fact Nicole clearly doesn’t trust me. I know we haven’t exactly had the most conventional start to our relationship—if that’s what it is—but I thought I’d proved to her how I feel. Or at least some of how I feel, because I’m not yet ready to admit to myself quite what I feel, let alone anyone else.

  There’s no way I can go to work after watching her drive away from me, so I pull the front door closed and head towards the beach. I need to move and burn off some of the pent-up energy buzzing around my system.

  I know I should probably be chasing after her, pleading my innocence, but my irritation is overruling the need to do that. I thought we’d moved past our childhood feud and had embarked on something a little more meaningful, but it seems nothing’s changed in her eyes—I’ve not changed. Can she not see that hurting her is the furthest thing from my mind?

  I walk along the beach in the rain for the longest time, but I know I need to get back. She has no idea, but in order for her to have the weekend off, it means I’ve got to work her shifts. I told her I would sort it and get the others working overtime, but it was too late notice and none of them could help. Add that to BJ and Liam heading out of town on some kind of jolly, and I’m left here manning both the shop and the shack. I guess I should be grateful the weather forecast is abysmal for the entire weekend.

  After showering once again and dragging on a dry set of clothes, I jump in the van and head to the shop. This place has always been my sanctuary. I love my house but there’s always someone else there. Here I can lock myself in the office and do what I need to do. But the second I walk through the door, for the first time ever, something feels off. The place isn’t as soothing to me as it usually is. I don’t need to put much thought into why I feel that way. The moment I step into the shack and don’t see red hair, it’s glaringly obvious.

  I plod back to the office to get some work done before we get busy and I’m needed out the front. My head and heart duel over what I should do. My head wants to be a stubborn fucker and leave her to believe whatever she wants, to cause her pain, but my heart says other things. It wants me to chase her, to tell her she’s wrong, to beg for her to believe me. All the things I decided a long ago I didn’t want to do, and exactly why I’d never fall in love.

  “Fucking Nicole and her magical fucking pussy,” I mutter to myself as I wait for the computer to load.

  Pulling my phone from my pocket, I’m surprised to see I haven’t had a call from Lilly. There’s no way she’s doesn’t know what’s going on. I’m tempted to ring her and find out for myself, but the fact she’s on a hen weekend puts me off. It’s not often she gets time to relax these days, and I really don’t want to be the one to ruin it.

  It’s only a few hours later when the call I’ve been expecting all day lights up my phone. I don’t get a chance to say anything after putting it to my ear. “What the fuck have you done this time?”

  “Good to know whose side you’re on.”

  “I’m on the side of whoever hasn’t done anything wrong, and at the moment you’re looking like the guilty party, so suck it up.”

  “And what is it exactly that I’ve done?”

  “I’m not spelling it out for you. You know exactly what it is. I’m so disappointed in you right now, I can’t even explain. I thought you were better than that, Dec.”

  “Better than what?”

  “I’m not getting involved other than to tell you that you need to sort yourself out and decide what you want, because if it’s Nicole then you’ve got your work cut out. You’ve seriously hurt her this time, to the point that I’m not sure if she’ll forgive you.”

  “Lilly, I haven’t—”

  “Save it for Nicole. You’re my brother and I’ll love you no matter what, but you need to sort this out—and fast. The last thing I want is you running my best friend out of town because you can’t keep it in your pants.” With that said, she hangs up on me.

  What the fuck is going on?

  I try ringing Lilly back but every time it either goes to voicemail or is cut off immediately—which is better than Nicole’s, I guess, because that doesn’t even ring. Part of me wants to march down to the hotel and have it out with her, but Molly and Mum would kill me if I ruin this weekend for them.

  In the end, I settle for just keeping my head down and getting as much work done as possible. It’s not like I can waste time surfing, seeing as I can hardly see the sea where it’s raining so much.

  It feels strange getting in my own bed, but what feels even weirder is that I’m alone. It’s a surreal feeling because until Nicole, I never slept with anyone, but suddenly I miss it. I miss the feeling of her pressed up against me, the light tickle of her breath against my skin, the small smile she wears when she’s sleeping, and of course her red hair fanned over my chest.

  Fucking hell, I’m in love with her.

  Throwing the covers off, I jump out of bed. I may regret this decision, but that revelation is ruling my thoughts right now, not common sense.<
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  The rain is still torrential, soaking me in the short distance between my van and the hotel. A quick call to Lucas on the way here means I know exactly where the girls are, so I continue past the awaiting woman at reception, though I don’t miss the shocked look on her face.

  “Excuse me, Sir,” she calls out as I continue down the hallway to the private bar at the back of the building. She can call out as much as she likes, there’s no way she’s stopping me right now.

  “Sir, you can’t…Sir, there’s a private party…” The panic in her voice is slightly amusing. I get the impression Lucas can be a bit of a dick of a boss, so she’s probably worried about her job.

  “Sir,” she shouts once more just as I push the heavy doors open to reveal the room beyond. My eyes instantly land on the group of women sitting on the sofas in the centre of the room. All but one of them turn my way to see what the noise is about. The only one I want to see keeps her head down as all the other faces stare at me. Most are shocked, but then there’s Mum and Lilly, who wear knowing grins.

  Chapter Twelve

  Nicole

  The second the door slams and I see the looks on everyone’s faces, I know exactly who just gate crashed our party. I really thought Lilly would listen to me and not get involved, but from the look on both her and Susan’s faces, I would hazard a guess that they’re both involved in his sudden appearance.

  After a few moments, everyone’s attention turns to me. I feel my already pounding heart pick up even more pace as my face burns hot under their stares.

  “Nicole.” The deep rumble of his voice sends shivers through me. I want to hate him for what he’s done, damn it. “Can we please talk?”

  “No.” My response comes out as a whisper.

  “Nicole?”

  “No, I’ve got nothing to say to you.” My voice is a little stronger this time, but I still refuse to turn around. Seeing him will loosen my resolve; I need to be stronger than that—I deserve to be stronger than that, to fight for what’s right.

  “That’s a shame, because I’ve got plenty I want to say to you.”

  “I’m sure you have, you cheating shit,” I shout, and a couple of gasps sound out around the room from those who aren’t aware of the situation. My anger over not only what he’s done but also that he’s ruining our evening suddenly gets the better of me. I stand and turn towards him. The sight is like a slap to the face. He looks exhausted. If I didn’t know he’d brought this all on himself, I might feel a little sorry for him.

  “Nicole, please, just hear me out. Whatever you think you know isn’t right.”

  “Are you saying I’m making it up? That I didn’t see her leaving your room after having a roll around your bed?”

  “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Can we please have this conversation in private?” he asks, looking around at our spectators.

  “Whatever you’ve got to say, you can say in front of them, especially if you’re so innocent.”

  “Why don’t you go next door? There’s a conference room,” Lilly says, but I ignore her, not wanting to be alone with him, especially after a couple of cocktails and a glass or two of wine. We all know what happens once I’ve had a few drinks.

  “No. He’s leaving.” Standing with my hands on my hips, I give Declan a hard stare, hoping it’ll be enough to make him retreat. Unfortunately, he seems to get off on me being angry, so he just stands and stares back.

  The silent conversation goes on between us for a few seconds, me demanding that he leaves and him begging for me to hear him out. If he thinks I’m caving to him, he clearly doesn’t know me very well.

  “I didn’t do anything,” he says eventually. His voice has lost the hard edge from when he first crashed in. “I haven’t seen her since sorting your house out, I swear.”

  “She was leaving your room looking like she’d been fucked six ways from Sunday.” Another couple of gasps sound out. “She said she left you showering. I didn’t want to believe her but sure as shit, when I walked into your room you’d just got out of the fucking shower. You’re a cheating arsehole, Declan, and you need to leave. Right now.” My hands shake as I try to contain the emotions swirling around inside me. The panicked look on his face makes me almost want to give him some time alone to properly explain, but then the image of Georgia walking down his stairs pops back into my head, and I remember why he doesn’t deserve any of my time.

  Everyone looks between the two of us as they wait for what’s going to happen next. I’m grateful that they’re all here, because they’re helping give me the strength I need to see this through.

  “Nic—”

  “LEAVE!” I scream. The first of many sobs erupt as I fight back the tears filling my eyes.

  I see Susan get up in the corner of my eye and she walks towards Dec. They’re too far away for me to hear what they say, but after a long, painful look in my direction, she eventually manages to direct him out of the room.

  The second he disappears from my view, I fall back down onto the sofa and drop my head into my hands. Arms immediately wrap around my shoulders; I’ve no idea who they belong to, but I don’t really care.

  After a few minutes, I feel the person at my right move and be replaced by another.

  “Shhh, angel,” Susan whispers in my ear as she rubs her hand down my back in that soothing way only a mother can. It’s comforting, but it also brings the weight of loss I still feel daily down on my shoulders once again, and my sobs start back up.

  I’m lost to whatever is happening around me. I know I should be trying to pull myself together for Molly’s sake, but I’m too far gone. Everything Dec has put me through on top of everything I was trying to deal with already has pushed me over the edge.

  “Nicole, drink this,” someone says, and I just about drag my head up to see a glass of amber liquid in front of my face. Liv gives me a small smile as I take it from her and knock it back. “And this one.” Another appears, and I repeat my previous actions, only this time I feel the burn.

  Squeezing my eyes tight and wiping the tears and make up off my cheeks, I try to muster the strength to face everyone. I don’t want to see the sympathy in their eyes, the she’s lost her mum and now her boyfriend has cheated on her look.

  I’m nicely surprised when I look up because apart from Susan, Lilly and Liv who are surrounding me, the others have gone back to enjoying themselves. I’m relieved I’m not dragging the whole party down with my depressing life.

  “What do you want to do, angel?”

  I really want to go home, but I know that’s not going to help me. I’m better off losing myself with this incredible group of women and trying to blank out Declan and his wandering penis.

  Squaring my shoulders, I look at the three of them. “Pass me another drink.” One miraculously appears in front of me and I drain it. The alcohol warms me from the inside out, and the haze it brings soon starts to make me forget.

  * * *

  The second I wake up, I’m running towards the bathroom to throw up. I got wasted last night thanks to everyone plying me with a range of very strong drinks. I know there was singing and dancing, but I’ve no idea if that involved a table like last time, and I’ve no desire to know—although I’m sure someone will delight in telling me all about it if I embarrassed myself.

  Liv’s sat on the corner of my bed when I eventually make it out of the bathroom. “Whoa,” she says when she sees the state of me.

  “Yup.” I fall face first on to my bed as my head pounds and my stomach continues to turn over.

  “We’re all going to breakfast in twenty minutes. You coming?”

  The thought of food makes me want to run back to the bathroom, but I agree and she leaves me to get ready.

  Knowing we’re spending all day in the spa, I pull on a bikini and finish it off with a matching cover-up. I’m now very grateful I found some time to go shopping, because I don’t think anyone would be able to convince me to wear my bikini with his name written on it this
morning. Thoughts of Dec send another wave of sadness through me. Why didn’t I stop myself getting so involved? I was worried from day one that this was all a joke; why did I allow this to happen?

  I go over all the questions I’ve asked myself a million times since finding Georgia yesterday, but just like every time I ask them, I have no answers. Not a single one.

  The look on his face as I told him to leave last night flashes through my mind. He looked devastated.

  Once again getting frustrated with myself, I grab my bag and go to meet the others, hoping for a distraction. I’m pleasantly surprised when I’m met with a few green looking faces. Looks like it wasn’t just me who over indulged last night. Molly looks especially rough and when she sees me looking similar, she comes over and gives me a hug.

  “Do not let me drink today,” she says in my ear.

  “Only if you do the same for me.”

  “Everything will be okay, you know.”

  “I’m not talking about it or him. This is your weekend, and I’ve already caused too much drama.”

  “Don’t be silly. We all needed something to talk about.”

  “Great,” I groan.

  * * *

  The rest of the weekend is amazing, and thankfully drama free. Whatever Susan said to Declan when she ushered him out of the room on Friday night obviously did the trick, because he never returned. Having said that, I’ve yet to turn my phone on; I can only imagine what might be on there.

  Lilly and I wave the others off in their limo looking a little worse for wear compared to how they arrived on Friday after a weekend of too much food and alcohol. I think the only one who escaped having a hangover was Karen; she wasn’t really one to get into the party spirit with her weak spritzers.

  Feeling bad about the state we’ve all left the rooms in, we try to make them a little more manageable for the cleaners before packing up and heading back to Lilly’s. She’s desperate to see her babies after her first weekend away from them. I’m just looking forward to seeing how Lucas coped all alone.