“Yeah. I know him.” Kade swallows. He shouldn’t be nervous about telling his mom, when she’s listened to him vent in the past. But mentioning his bondmate feels like picking an old wound open. “Actually... It’s Felix. He’s back and selling his watercolors.”
To ease the ache in his chest, he looks at the polished teak counters, the way his mom has scrubbed them until they shine. The edges of the fridge gleam, and the stovetop shines in the sunlight.
They’ve done well ever since the bankruptcy. This house is halfway paid off, and they have hot meals in their stomachs and laughter around the table. Most of his savings had gone into helping his parents recover. While he and his brothers were working extra jobs, his dad had passed away. Then Chris and Sam had moved out of Meadowfall, leaving his mom with just him for support. Kade and his mother have been recovering, though, just like they’ve recovered from almost everything else.
“Felix? I thought you said he was in Highton. When did he get back?”
Kade shrugs, scooping soup into his mouth. “He moved back about a week ago. I don’t think he’s unpacked yet.”
“That’s nice. Right?” A line grows on her brow. When Kade doesn’t answer, she asks, “Are you upset?”
I don’t know. Kade stirs the soup in his bowl, thinking about that first night, then the time he’s spent lying awake in bed since, wondering if Felix will disappear from his life again. That’s not within his control. “Maybe.”
Mom leans in, her voice hushed. “Is he... with anyone else?”
He chuckles then, low and unexpectedly bitter. Felix has no new markings, but his lavender scent had also faded. There’s not much Kade discerned other than there’s only one scar on his wrist. “I don’t know. Don’t think so.”
“I’m sorry,” she says. “But that means there’s hope, right?”
“Guess so.” He sighs, lifting his soup bowl to drain it. Can’t do anything right now. “He’s working at the gas station just off the 95.”
“At least you’ll get a chance to see him. Does he want to be friends?”
“Maybe. I gave him my number.” Kade stands to rinse their bowls at the sink. “Gotta go, though. Working at the office today. Damn debugging fixes.”
“If Felix is still selling those paintings, I’d love to see them,” she says, getting to her feet. “And... well, I hope you’ll be able to right things with him somehow.”
Kade shrugs. When he turns, his mother wraps her arms around him. He stoops to return the hug, breathing in the reassuring lilac scent of her hair. The silvery strands glint in the sunlight, tucked between cinnamon-brown.
“Do tell him that he’s welcome here anytime,” she says. “I just hope he’s doing well.”
“I will.” The thought of Felix stepping through this house, looking with awe at the paintings on the walls, cheers Kade up. He kisses his mother on the cheek, turning to leave. The bike needs a fill-up; he’ll take a detour there. The thought shouldn’t make his stomach flip, should it?
He finds Felix alone at the register, his lavender scent still oddly muted. Felix’s eyes brighten when Kade steps in, his mouth pulling into a tiny smile. “Hello.”
“You doing okay?” Kade asks, glancing over his uniform. No bruises on his arms, no markings. What little he can smell of the lavender is untarnished, and it sends a spark of triumph roaring through his chest.
“Not too bad,” Felix says. He lowers his gaze, tidying a stack of rubber bands so they fall into a neat circle.
Kade looks around. “No one else on this shift?”
“It’s just me right now.” Felix straightens the stationery around the register. “I guess they trust me enough to run this place for a few hours.”
“You’ll do fine,” Kade says. Felix’s ears turn pink, and he smiles, looking away. Kade’s pulse quickens. “I told my mom about your paintings.” He wanders over to a shelf, picking up a bag of chips. It crinkles in his hand, lightweight and overpriced, but it’s a reason to stop by instead of going to the office. “She likes them.”
“She used to,” Felix says. After a pause, he asks, “How is she?”
“Not bad. We moved. Got a new house and all that.” And it’s not like Felix wants to know, but Kade says, “Better than before.”
Felix sighs deeply, his shoulders relaxing. “I’m glad to hear that.”
Kade shrugs. It’s not as though Felix knows anything about their difficulties, anyway. He’d left before most of it happened. “What about you? How was Highton?”
“Not bad, I guess.” Felix rubs his arm, his loose shirt wrinkling. “The paintings sold well for a while. I had a loft apartment. It was the prettiest place—large windows, sheer curtains. I—I think you’d have liked to see it.”
Felix doesn’t say It’s just like what we talked about in the past, for our own home, but Kade hears it, hears the regret echoing between them.
And he shouldn’t be asking, when they’re no longer lovers, but he wants to hear about those years Felix spent in Highton. He wants to know if Felix missed him. “What else did you like about it?”
“The kitchen. It was wide and open. It had an island counter, one of those nice ones you see in catalogs, you know? With the row of hanging lamps in the middle, a silver fridge, and racks on the walls for the spatulas... And the ceilings were so high. It felt like I was living in a cathedral, almost. When the breeze blew in, the curtains fluttered in the living room, and I... It was lovely.”
Felix looks away. Kade stares at the chips in his hands. Classic ruffle cut. Reduced sodium.
Chips are one thing, but a loft like that? He’s got a decent job, but he’s never truly had enough to pay for the sort of houses they discussed. At least, not yet. Did you find someone who can buy you that? Kade swallows. The ring sits warm against his chest, and he reaches up, touching it through his shirt. “So why’d you come back?”
Felix purses his lips. His eyes dart up to Kade’s, then away. “I wasn’t doing that well. Like I said, the paintings stopped selling.”
Kade sighs. Felix has all the talent to be successful. “Was that all you did? Selling paintings?”
Felix’s green eyes sweep over the store, and he turns his hands, palms facing up. “For a while, yes. I should be better at selling my things. It just... didn’t work out, somehow. Maybe I didn’t have enough connections.”
“But your dad knows people, doesn’t he?”
Felix winces. “I’d rather not talk to them, if I can.”
Kade remembers Felix’s dad. Tall, imposing, never smiling. Felix rarely brought Kade to his family home, and the times he did, they were careful to avoid the grand rooms in the mansion, full of sprawling tables and arched hallways. Lots of voices had come from their closed doors, polite, quiet laughter that spoke of formal business meetings.
“Have you listed them on the internet?” Kade asks. “Auction sites, craft sites, that sort of thing?”
Felix looks at the register. “I’m not so great with those.”
“I can help,” Kade says before he thinks about it. “Shouldn’t be difficult for me.”
Felix bites his lip, uncertain. Kade thinks about his shabby new house, the falling-apart porch, and Felix in this gas station job. He can’t afford a better place like that. And as his bondmate, Kade wants to help somehow. Even if they aren’t building a home together. Felix sneaks a glance at him. “If it isn’t inconvenient, I’d... appreciate it.”
Kade keeps his expression calm, even though his pulse shoots all the way to sixty miles an hour. “When are you off?”
“This Saturday. Anytime is fine, I guess.”
“9 AM?”
“Sure. I, uh, kind of don’t have a computer. I sold mine.” Felix blushes.
Kade shrugs. “It’s fine. I’ve got a couple from my job.”
Felix smiles shyly, stretching a rubber band between his fingers. “Still programming?”
“Yeah. I might be getting a promotion soon.” He’s been taking on new projects si
nce he finished debugging that damn app, and it’s nice, having a pile of jobs at work so he isn’t daydreaming about Felix.
“Really?” Felix’s grin widens. “I’m glad.”
“Yeah, well.” I’d be happier if we were back together. But he won’t say no to seeing Felix smile. He’s gone without it for too long, and it sends a slow, joyful warmth curling through his veins. “You’ve unpacked, right?”
“Some.” Felix winces. “I’ll try to get a table set up. Or there’s the bed, I guess. That functions as a table, right?”
Kade snorts, turning the packet of chips in his hands. “I don’t work on beds.”
A crimson tint sweeps up Felix’s cheeks. Kade is suddenly aware of what he’s thinking, about what they do on beds instead. They’ve spent years of their history pressed together behind closed doors, sweat soaking into worn mattresses. “I’m sure you don’t,” Felix says. “You’d save your bed for more... suitable things.”
“Like what?” Kade’s voice dips, a kindling heat sinking down his body, gathering at his groin. He wants Felix pinned beneath him again, wants to smell the full weight of Felix’s scent, the musk of his arousal. “You know what I use my bed for?”
Green eyes darken. Felix’s gaze coasts down Kade’s body, lingering on his chest, his arms, his hips. Kade feels himself grow full in response, his pants stretching tight, and how did that happen, when he hasn’t moved from the convenience store racks, the packet of chips still in his hand?
Across the counter, Felix shifts as though his pants are too tight. “I’m sure you could enlighten me,” he croaks. “About your bed.”
Kade’s throat goes sandpaper-dry. He thinks about Felix arched under him, sees the way Felix’s nostrils flare to catch his scent, the way he reaches down to adjust his pants. Kade can’t help sliding a hand down his abs, tracing a finger along the hard line at his groin, from base to tip.
Felix groans. “Don’t do that.”
“Why?” Kade steps closer, closing the distance between them. Felix’s gaze clings to him, to the bulge in his pants. “I’m getting comfortable.”
Felix drags his eyes away, squirming. And there, just beneath the trace of lavender, Kade smells his musk. “We shouldn’t.... shouldn’t be talking about this.”
“You’re hard,” Kade murmurs, watching as Felix’s throat works. More quietly, “And I can fuck you up against the wall.”
Felix squeezes his eyes shut, his fingertips whitening against the counter. “Kade, please.”
Kade almost tastes the tang of his arousal. His own cock swells, and he almost crushes the bag of chips in his hand, setting it roughly on the counter. “You sell lube in this store?”
“I...” Felix bites down on his lip, turning it red. “I’ll look for it.”
And he turns, circling out from behind the counter, a hard line at the front of his pants. Kade trails behind him through the shelves, breathing in his musk, and he almost can’t wait for the weekend. Felix walks down one aisle, then the next. Kade’s attention snags on the jeans of his pants, the way it hugs the curve of his ass.
“Here,” Felix says, bending to snatch a bottle off a lower shelf. Kade keeps his arms to his side, fighting down the urge to grab his hips, to press up against him, let his omega feel his cock.
Felix sets the bottle in Kade’s hand when he straightens, fingertips caressing his palm. An electric sizzle shoots under Kade’s skin, and Felix shivers. Kade snags his wrist. “Wait,” he says. “You’re gonna just smell like sex right now.”
Felix squeezes his eyes shut, sucking in a shaky breath. “Damn it. That bastard’s going to come in and check on me.”
Bottle in hand, Kade rubs their wrists together, scent glands brushing, before dragging his wrist just under Felix’s jaw. Then, along the sides of his neck and down his shirt. Felix gulps. Kade reaches lower, grinding his wrist against the front of Felix’s pants, just over his cock. Felix flushes a deep shade of scarlet, rocking up against his wrist. He’s so hard behind his pants. Kade wants to push him up against the shelves.
Mine, he wants to growl. He pulls his wrist away, and Felix tries to follow with his hips.
“I’ll find a use for this,” Kade says, shaking the lube.
Felix pants, pupils blown. “Is there.... anything else you need?”
“Just this,” Kade says, following him back to the counter. “And the chips.” And you.
Felix scans the lube and chips with trembling hands. His breaths puff short and quick. Something in Kade’s chest settles, seeing his omega this aroused all because of him. It’s as though their past doesn’t matter.
“Six-eighty,” Felix says, glancing at the register. “Do you need a bag?”
“Nah.” Kade drops a few notes into his hand, fingertips brushing against Felix’s palm. They both shiver at the contact. “Gotta find a use for the lube, though. See you Saturday.”
Felix gulps. He sets the change in Kade’s palm, his fingers lingering. Felix drags his gaze away. “Okay. See you then.”
Something must be going right, if Kade’s got Felix agreeing to see him again. He walks out of the store, his scent strong on his omega. Maybe Felix doesn’t find him a disappointment. Maybe they can repair their relationship. Maybe things will work out this time.
7
Felix
The store smells like Kade. Felix smells like him, too, but it isn’t as noticeable as the musk lingering between the shelves, and at the counter where Kade had grown hard. All Felix had wanted was to drop to his knees and drag Kade’s pants down.
It’s not right that his instincts scream to please Kade, to rub himself against his alpha. In Highton, there had been groups protesting along the streets about omega rights. Felix knows the chants: Pay us equally. We have choices too. Omegas do not need an alpha.
But it’s not that between Kade and himself. He wants to screw Kade senseless because it’s always been the two of them, and Felix hadn’t known a time when Kade hadn’t been by his side, offering his protection and his body.
Kade has always been there, and how does Felix repay it? He ruins Kade’s life.
His cock throbs uncomfortably in his pants. He looks at his hands, throat dry, needing release. So he forces the thoughts out of his mind, stepping out around the counter, grabbing a set of newspapers to fan the scents out the door. Some of the people at the filling stations look over.
He thinks about the baby instead, the minuscule ball of cells growing inside him. It’s been two weeks since that first night. A week since the baby fastened itself inside his body, and he still can’t believe that there’s another life inside him, that part of Kade is in his belly.
If Kade found out... He would narrow his eyes. He would say, You told me you were on BC. Why did you lie? Are you using me again? Felix winces. It hadn’t been a lie. If he can forget his birth control pills, why can’t he forget about the baby?
Years ago, Kade had told him, I don’t think we’re suited for kids.
“It’s really not your fault,” Felix murmurs at his abdomen, touching it. Somewhere in there, his baby needs love. Felix will be damned before he neglects his own child. “I promise to love you.”
Ten minutes later, he steps outside. He sucks in a deep breath, then steps back into the store. It smells vaguely like cedar and pine now, a little like musk, as though a couple of horny teenagers had loitered for a while.
At the door, he tries swinging his arms like a windmill, cycling the old air out of the store. Three minutes in, Susan walks in from the side.
Felix jumps, heat crawling up his cheeks. “Sorry. I didn’t think you’d be early.”
She raises her eyebrows, looking pointedly at his arms. “The bus was earlier than usual. What were you doing? Exercising?”
What do I say? “Yes? I... thought it would be an opportunity to stretch.”
But Susan lifts her chin, sniffing. “Smells like sex in here.”
Felix’s cheeks burn. “It was two teenagers,” he says. “A
couple of boys.”
“Smells kind of familiar.” Susan heads to the back room, her nostrils flared. Felix looks down the front of his pants. At least it’s not obvious now. When Susan pops back out, she says, “I’ve never seen anyone hook up in the store, and I’ve been here four years. It almost... Your alpha didn’t visit, did he? You smell like an alpha.”
Shit. Felix gulps, thinking about Kade’s finger tracing down his jeans. That was all it had taken. Kade had rubbed his wrist on him for half a minute, but they’d both been hard by then, and smelling enough to fill the store with musk. “Uh.”
“There’s a back room, you know,” Susan says, her eyes twinkling. She sobers a moment later. “I don’t think I need to warn you about Rick, though.”
Felix remembers the manager’s waddle, shaking his head. “I’d really rather not get in trouble with him.” He rubs his arms, suddenly missing Kade, the way he’d snarled at Felix’s boss. “But Kade—that alpha—he’s... not really mine. Just... so you know.”
It hurts to say it.
Susan cocks her head. “He isn’t? I thought... When he came in here the other day and snapped at Rick, you didn’t say anything.”
He’d been too surprised that Kade would even defend him. “It felt safer not to.”
“Yeah, I understand.” Susan’s gaze falls to Felix’s wrist, where the bonding scar is. He holds himself still, fighting his instincts to hide it. But Susan steps closer, sniffing again.
Felix realizes what it must look like then—the scar means he’s bonded, and he smells like an alpha he says isn’t his. He cringes. “Don’t judge me, okay? Kade and I... it’s complicated.”
“A good sort of complicated, or a bad sort?”
He glances down at his belly. “I don’t know.”
“Oh, honey.” Susan sets a gentle hand on his arm. “I’m here if you ever need to talk, okay?”
Felix relaxes, the tension in his shoulders seeping away. They haven’t known each other long, but it’s comforting to know that he has a friend in his workplace. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”
The Omega's Secret Pregnancy (Men of Meadowfall Book 1) Page 5
