“Fuck yeah.” Kade rocks up into his hand, fucking against his palm. Felix’s eyelids flutter shut. He eases Kade out of his jeans, his hand sliding soft and firm down Kade’s cock, and for a breathless moment, Kade forgets about everything, except Felix’s hand, his mouth, Felix’s tongue licking up his cock.
“So big,” Felix whispers, his voice hoarse with longing. He slides his palm down the underside of Kade’s cock, to his base, then back up.
“Jack me off,” Kade says. He gathers the wetness trickling down Felix’s cock, reaching down to smear it over Felix’s balls. Felix makes a soft, delighted sound in his throat, pushing his hips up. “C’mon.”
Felix wraps his fingers around Kade, stroking him from base to tip, the crown of Kade’s head catching on his fingers. He pulls his hand back, gathering his own precum on his fingertips, then smears it all over Kade’s cock, his fingers working over Kade, falling into a rhythm that they’ve learned after years of touch. Then his touch feathers down, fingertips trailing along the ridge of Kade’s cock, before massaging his underside. Pleasure hums through Kade’s body. He swears, pushing up into Felix’s hand. “Harder. Stroke me.”
So Felix strokes him, licking his lips. Kade rewards him by rubbing his thumb over Felix’s balls, squeezing them lightly, his fingers brushing down the back of them. Felix whines, low and needy, clear fluid dribbling down the fine veins of his neglected cock. “Kade, please.”
And Kade takes his cock in hand, pumping him firmly, dragging his skin down to expose his flushed tip, circling it with his thumb. Felix chokes on his moan. His balls grow tight, and Kade grinds his fingertip against the underside of his head, so he jerks, shoving his cock up into Kade’s grip.
Kade relaxes his hand then, leaning in to lick along the shell of Felix’s ear. “I didn’t say to stop jacking me,” he growls, and Felix shivers, his fingers tightening around Kade’s cock, pumping him. Kade increases the pace of his strokes, matching Felix’s touch, breathing in the heady musk rolling off his omega.
When Felix trembles, Kade slows his pace, waiting as his bondmate’s strokes slow to the same rhythm. Felix circles Kade’s tip with his fingers; Kade mirrors that touch on him. Felix tips his head back, panting.
Felix’s cock grows thick in his hand, heavy and slippery, and he’s so damn close. So Kade takes his earlobe into his mouth, sucks on it, before he murmurs, “Come for me.”
His omega comes with a ragged cry, spine arching, pulsing hard in his hand, spurts of white streaking onto his sweater, dribbling wet and warm down Kade’s fingers. Kade strokes him slow, thumbing his head, milking him until the last drop oozes from his tip. Felix shudders. “S-stop,” he hisses, trembling, his breaths coming in broken gasps. “Too—too sensitive.”
But Kade knows that. He traces Felix’s tip again, so his body jerks and he tightens his fist around Kade’s cock, trying to hang on.
“Damn you, Kade.” Felix rears up in his seat, eyes flashing. This, too, is familiar, when Felix leans in and closes his mouth around Kade’s tip, sucking hard. A jolt sears through Kade’s body. Felix slides his fist down Kade’s cock, his lips dragging along his head, tongue working just under it. Pleasure spikes down Kade’s nerves. He sucks in a sharp breath, throbbing, pushing Felix’s head down. Felix yields, taking him deeper, his mouth hot, his other hand rubbing Kade’s balls through his pants.
Felix hollows his cheeks. Kade thinks, Can’t believe you’re sucking me off again and his release crashes through his body like a punch, forcing the air out of his lungs. He spills into Felix’s mouth, watches as Felix stays, swallowing his cum. He growls, dragging his wrist across Felix’s cheek, down his throat, marking Felix with his scent. Mine.
He slips his hand down the neckline of Felix’s sweater, rubbing his wrist along Felix’s collarbones, down his chest, over his nipples. Felix moans around him, his tongue lapping over Kade’s tip.
When he pulls off with a soft pop, Kade withdraws his hand and sets it on Felix’s shoulder, leaning him upright. Felix allowed him close, and this feels like a little bit like forgiveness.
He leans in and kisses Felix softly, slipping his tongue into his mouth. Felix tastes like bitter musk and mine. Felix trails his hand down Kade’s cock, a light, careful touch. The pressure in Kade’s knot swells. As Felix slips his fingers around it, he massages Kade lightly, swirling his fingers around him like he used to.
Felix jerks away the next instant. Cool air rushes between them; Kade stares as Felix fixes his eyes on the empty plates, cheeks reddening. “Um. That... that wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“No shit,” Kade says, reeling. Felix had been so receptive just a minute ago, and this feels like a slap, his bondmate refusing to even look at him. It feels like the night Kade picked him up, when Kade had knotted inside him. Felix had stared at the wall after. But maybe Kade had been wrong, coaxing him into sex. Felix had never contacted him when he was away. Why would he, when he’d all but told Kade that Kade wasn’t good enough? “Look, I’m sorry.”
“I should be the one sorry,” Felix says, springing to his feet. He gathers the plate and bowl from the table, his cock still hanging out of his jeans. Kade follows him to the sink. “I shouldn’t... I mean, I appreciate what you’ve done today. Thanks for coming over.”
It sounds like a cue to leave. Kade doesn’t want to, not so soon after sex. The first time had been bad enough. He still remembers Felix alone on his bed, back turned to him. “Look, there’s still more to do with the website,” he says. “I can set it up here, and you can decide which options you want.”
It’s a pitiful excuse to stay, and he’s certain that Felix can see through it. But Felix slows down, setting the dishes carefully in the sink. He fiddles with the front of his pants. Kade grimaces, fixing his own jeans. We’re bonded. This shouldn’t feel like a damn dirty secret.
When Felix turns around, his pants are buttoned, and the smears of cum on his sweater have been brushed off. “I... I guess you can stay,” he says, looking at his belly. “Just for that.”
Kade releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Okay. We’ll get you set up, and then I’ll leave.”
Felix nods, looking back at the sink. While he washes the dishes, he tells Kade the details of his website—the hosting site, his username, his password.
“‘arts&brushes’?” Kade asks, surprised. “You’re still using the same password?”
“You’ve never tried logging into my accounts?” Felix says, and immediately ducks his head. “Well, no, I didn’t mean it that way. Sorry.”
Kade looks down at his laptop, stung. Felix had said he wasn’t good enough, so he’d let Felix leave, thinking he’d return if he really wanted Kade in his life. After years of waiting, he’d realized that Felix was never coming back. And Felix has made it plenty clear that he’s not staying permanently in Meadowfall. “Should I have logged in?”
“I don’t know.”
Kade doesn’t know, either. Even though so much of Felix has stayed the same—his mannerisms, his favorite food, his looks—there’s a new, cautious side to him, and it unnerves Kade. “Anyway, I’ve signed in.”
“Okay.” The faucet runs in the background, and the crockery clatters together.
Kade taps through the site settings, wincing at the HTML Felix used. Felix has never been good with computers, even back when they were sitting through the basic lessons in school. While Kade made circles spin on animation programs, Felix had spent those classes drawing pigs and houses. Kade had animated them for him, boosting Felix’s grades up to a B.
“Remember that group project?” Kade asks. “Back in middle school. The one where we had to make a website.”
At the sink, Felix chuckles weakly. “The one where I drew flowers for the background and you made the site work?”
Kade snorts. But it eases the tension between them, and Felix’s shoulders relax. “Yeah, that one. But see, I was thinking you could do something like that for your website. Get some graphics
done for a banner, maybe a background.”
“I don’t have a computer, remember?”
“I’ll leave this one with you.”
Felix turns, staring at him wide-eyed. “Don’t you need it?”
“I’ve got two.”
And Felix droops. “Really? That’s... that’s very nice.”
“They’re for my work.” Kade shrugs. He may have work-related programs on this laptop, but he can access them on the other one, and he trusts Felix not to mess with them. He trusts Felix with his life. That much hasn’t changed.
He preps the laptop for Felix, closing the programs he won’t need. “Text me if you’ve got any questions.”
“I’ll probably have a buttload of questions,” Felix says. He dries his hand on a dishcloth, smiling wryly. “Thanks for your help.”
“Anytime.” The silence that settles over them prickles at Kade’s skin, and when Felix putters around the kitchen, avoiding the table, he winces. Felix probably doesn’t want him around right now, even if he’s not furious about the sex. “I should go,” Kade says, checking his phone. “You’ve probably got things going on.”
Felix’s throat works. “Yeah. Thanks for coming over.”
Kade follows him to the door. The house still smells like chemical crap, but Kade picks up his own scent on Felix. It settles his unease, knowing that it’ll keep that bastard alpha manager away from his bondmate. “See you around?”
“I’ll try to have the graphics done soon,” Felix says. “Maybe in a week or two?”
“Sounds good.” Kade steps out of the house. As Felix meets his eyes, sunlight caressing his cheeks, Kade itches to kiss him, just to smell him again. “Take care.”
“I will. Thanks.” Felix smiles then, his eyes warm. Kade’s heart kicks.
I’ll miss you, he wants to say. Instead, he steps toward his bike, Felix’s gaze lingering on him the entire way.
9
Felix
A week later, the doorbell rings.
Felix freezes in his kitchen, halfway through frying some eggs. Kade? He turns the stove off, heart pattering as he hurries to the door. Kade hasn’t said anything about visiting. He holds his breath, checks the pill dispenser—yes, he’s taken the scent suppressant—and then the peephole.
Instead of Kade’s broad shoulders, he sees the slight frame of his brother, the same dark blond hair. Felix throws the door open and flying into Taylor’s arms. “Taylor!”
“You’re going to crush me to death,” Taylor says, staggering backward.
Felix burrows his face in his brother’s shoulder, gulping deep breaths of his familiar jasmine scent. His brother hasn’t texted in two weeks, and Felix had worried. “I’m so glad you’re alive.”
“You always are.” Taylor wraps his arms around him, and for a long minute, they stand on Felix’s porch, hugging. Felix doesn’t talk about the risks of Taylor’s job, the risk that someday, he might not return. In a lower voice, Taylor asks, “How are you?”
How is the baby? he means. Felix’s stomach drops. He swallows, pulling away from his brother. “I’m fine.”
Taylor follows him into the house, watching as he locks the door. His eyes dart around the place—windows, doors, obstructions. Felix holds his brother’s hand, giving him a squeeze. Although Taylor has a well-paying job, and although their father likes him better, Felix doesn’t envy his brother at all. Taylor’s missions scare the hell out of him.
“Are you really fine?” Taylor asks.
Felix sighs. Some days, he forgets about the baby for a while, and it’s a relief to be free of that burden. “It’s not as scary as your job, but it’s still pretty damn terrifying.”
His brother studies him. “Kade?”
He shakes his head. “He doesn’t know yet.”
“Felix. He’s the kid’s dad.”
“He’ll murder me,” Felix says, trudging to the kitchen. The eggs don’t seem so delicious anymore, suddenly. “It’s been a month since I screwed him.”
“The longer you keep it from him, the more pissed he’s going to be,” Taylor says. He follows Felix into the kitchen, opening the cabinets until he finds a glass. He fills it with water. “Trust me on that.”
“I’ll leave before he notices,” Felix says, biting his lip. Kade would discover him missing, and... He would be furious. Or glad. His heart thuds painfully. “He... never wanted children.”
“He’s your bondmate,” Taylor says, flopping into a chair. “He should know.”
Felix winces and turns back to the stove. In his head, Kade’s voice murmurs, I don’t think we’re suited for kids. “You still remember what happened five years ago, right?”
Taylor sighs. “If you actually talked to him about it, I’m sure he’d understand.”
“They went bankrupt because of me, Taylor!” Felix glances out of the window, his heart pounding. But all he sees are the neighbor’s closed windows, the weed-strewn dirt of his backyard. No Kade. Kade wouldn’t be listening in, but just the mention of this makes his stomach constrict. “They’ll all hate me if they found out.”
“So what if his family hates you? You’re still bonded to him, right?”
And that makes it worse, because Felix can’t stand the thought of their accusing stares, can’t stand the thought of Kade saying You drove my family out of our home and How dare you call me your alpha? He looks down at his flat belly, thinking the baby should be showing anytime, but it hasn’t yet. “He can always find a new bondmate.”
“Has he?”
Felix shakes his head. Kade smells only like himself when he visits the gas station, like cedar and pine, and Felix rues the days when Kade’s scent fades from the store. “He will soon. I’m sure.”
Taylor shakes his head, sniffing the air around them. “He should have. But he’s been visiting you.”
Felix shrugs. “He was only here to help with my website. And that was last week. My site sucks balls.”
“Just tell him, damn it.”
“No!”
“I look down gun barrels, Felix, and you’re scared of Kade saying no?”
Put that way, it sounds like Felix is making excuses all over again. But he can’t erase the guilt lurking in his chest. He’s lived by himself for five years, thinking Kade will never forgive him, and he can’t see why Kade would. “I wish you would stop working as a spy, Taylor. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I can’t promise that. But come on, at least tell him,” Taylor says. “Give him a chance to respond.”
Felix winces. He turns the stove on again, poking at the half-cooked eggs with his spatula. “It’ll kill me if he says no.”
“And he hasn’t smelled the pregnancy yet.”
“I’ve been taking the suppressants, so no.”
Taylor throws his arms in the air, exasperated. “You guys are idiots.”
“Better an idiot than a divorcee,” Felix mumbles, poking at the eggs. When they’re done, he slides them onto a plate, then pours himself a bowl of cereal. “Things are better this way.”
“Are they really?” Taylor props his chin on his hand, his eyes flickering toward the windows, then the doors. It’s a habit, and Felix has learned to ignore it. He glances at the pale scar on his wrist, tiny tooth marks that have never really faded.
“Did you meet anyone cute?” Felix asks instead. “On your big, scary mission.”
At that, Taylor laughs. “Maybe.”
Felix brightens, glad to focus on something other than his own problems. “A big, handsome alpha?”
To his delight, his brother grins, warmth shining in his eyes. “Yeah, he’s cute,” he says. “Just that he’s working for someone else, and we may or may not be on opposite sides.”
“But did you fuck? I think that’s the most important question,” Felix says, and Taylor laughs.
“Yeah. Once so far.”
“So far? You’ll be seeing him again?” And Felix is truly glad for Taylor, because unlike himself, Taylor doesn’t have a
mark on his wrist, doesn’t have a bondmate who will disappoint him. When Taylor shrugs, smiling, Felix scoots closer pulling his eggs along. “Okay, tell me about him,” he says. “I want all the details!”
And Taylor grins, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “Of course.”
Kade visits again the next Saturday. This time, Felix is expecting him, and the house smells like bacon and eggs when he opens the front door. Felix is dressed, too, in another bulky sweater and jeans, and he holds his breath when Kade’s eyes flicker down his body, past his abdomen. He didn’t notice.
“You look like you dropped out of a magazine,” Kade says, meeting Felix’s eyes.
Felix exhales, heat creeping up his cheeks. He wasn’t expecting a compliment. “Thanks. Uh, I’m just making breakfast. Would you like to come inside? I—I mean. Oh, gods.”
Kade’s gaze darkens, as though he’d like to do just that. “Sure.”
Felix gulps, swearing inwardly. “I didn’t mean sex. Definitely not.”
Kade deflates a little. Felix bites his lip. They really shouldn’t fuck again. If they do, he’ll forget that he’s supposed to be keeping secrets from this man, that he’ll be running from Kade at some point, leaving clueless about everything. Including the unborn child. It’ll be better if they stop getting so close.
“Your laptop’s in the kitchen,” Felix says.
“Right.” Kade follows him through the house, and Felix can’t help the tingle on his skin, knowing that Kade’s watching him.
In his mind, he hears Taylor’s voice. You can’t keep this from him forever. He’ll find out at some point. Felix frowns at the bare kitchen walls, pulling a couple mugs from the cabinets. “Yes, I can,” he mutters.
“What?” Kade glances over.
“Nothing.” Felix fills the mugs with water, sliding them into the microwave. “The food’s on the stove if you want any.”
The Omega's Secret Pregnancy (Men of Meadowfall Book 1) Page 7
