“Hey.”
He stepped aside. “Come on in. I just put coffee on. Want a cup?”
“No thanks. I’m already two in. Don’t want to get the shakes.”
“Suit yourself.” Dex fixed himself a cup of coffee. Black, two sugars, and a sprinkle of cinnamon. I used to make it for him every morning when I stayed over.
I gnawed at the inside of my cheek and turned toward his living room. It looked the same as ever. The dark gray sofa was strewn with clothes, and the coffee table was decorated in empty beer cans and an empty bag of chips.
“Can we sit and talk for a minute?” I gestured to the sofa.
Dex winced when he burnt his tongue on his first sip of coffee. “Sure.”
He followed me to the sofa, and we sat down. I angled myself to face him and studied him as he leaned back to get comfortable. Part of me wished I still loved him so that I didn’t have to have this conversation.
“Dex, I—”
“Hold that thought.” He put his hand up to stop me from speaking. “I almost forgot. I got you something the other day. Sit tight.” He stood up and patted my knee as he brushed by me and disappeared into his bedroom, which was likely in worse of a state than his living room.
I twisted around in the sofa to peer through his open door as I listened to him rummage through bags in his room. “Dex? I think it’s best if we just chat first.”
“Just a second.”
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
He emerged with a lopsided grin and a little blue bag in his hands. He dropped it in my lap when he passed me to claim his spot on the sofa. “Open it.”
Opening it and then breaking up with him seemed like a surefire way to invite some bad karma into my life, and with my current financial state and my new life at St. Mark’s, I just couldn’t afford any bad luck. So I leaned forward and set the bag on his coffee table.
Dex’s eyes flicked from the bag to me, and then his eyebrows drew together as he finally put two and two together and realized this was not the sort of visit he’d been expecting. He frowned. “What’s going on, Lizzy?”
“We need to talk.”
“Apparently.”
I’d rehearsed what I wanted to say to him twenty times in my head on the way here, but now, all those words had fluttered out of my brain and left me feeling like a twelve-year-old about to give her first public speech. My palms were sweating. I ran them down my thighs and did everything possible to hold his gaze. “We need to talk about us.”
He didn’t say anything. He just stared back at me.
“This isn’t working anymore.”
He blinked at me. “What?”
“You and me. I think—No, I know it’s not working anymore. I’m sorry. I don’t know how else to say this. I wish there were better words. An easier way to tell you—”
“That you’re over me?” His words were short and clipped. Angry. Betrayed.
“Dex, you know that we’ve grown apart. You and I have been trying to hold this thing together for far too long. I’m done. I don’t want to keep you from someone who might be a good fit for marriage for you.” I reached for him, but he jerked back.
“That’s you, Elizabeth. You’re supposed to be my wife. I’ve spent my whole adolescence with you. I don’t want another woman. I want you. You know me. You get me. You love me.” His eyes filled with tears, breaking my heart. “Please don’t do this.”
“I have to go. We’re better friends than we are lovers. We have been for the last ten years. I love you as I would family, like I do Steph, but I’m not in love with you. You’ll find someone who will be. She’s out there.”
Dex grabbed for my hands and held them between his. “It’s because we haven’t been together in a while. Stay with me a while. Give me a chance to make this right. Let me make love to you.” He pulled me in and brushed his lips by mine, and I wanted so fucking badly to feel something bubbling deep inside of me, but I didn’t.
It was awkward and borderline disturbing to think of having sex with him again.
“No, Dex. I wish it was that easy. But it’s not. We both know it’s not. I’m focused on my career, and it’s unfair to you. It’s not me who is supposed to build a life with you, Dex. You know that. I think you’ve known that for a long time now.” I forced my hands out of his grasp and up to his chest and pushed back a little. “Please let me go. I want us to be friends for the rest of our lives. It’s not going to happen if we don’t start moving on. We’re in our late twenties. You should be getting married.”
“Yeah, to you.” His tone darkened. “Whatever, Lizzy. If you change your mind, call me. You know where I’ll be.”
I started to respond that I wouldn’t, but I simply held my tongue. There was no talking sense to him. He wasn’t going to move on for a while, and the only way I could force it was by moving on myself. That didn’t mean finding someone to replace him but simply diving even deeper into my career and ignoring him altogether for a while.
I stood up and went to his front door. He stayed where he was. I was surprised that he didn’t try to walk me out to buy himself more time with me and more time to get another rebuttal in. I should have taken the time to duck into his bathroom and clean out my drawer. All I had in there were some basics: toothbrush, hairbrush, makeup wipes, tampons. But the thought of having to be in this apartment a moment longer made me want to hurl myself out the window. And so did the idea of bringing anything from this place home with me.
I looked back at him. “This is for the best. You’ll see that too. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
He didn’t answer, and I didn’t wait for him to acknowledge me. I opened the door, stepped out into the hallway, and let myself cry. It wasn’t for the loss of having someone. I didn’t need anyone in my life. It was too convoluted by my career. I hurt for Dex and what he thought he was losing. It was depressing to see him clinging to a life he thought we could have together instead of the one we did. Maybe he lived in a fantasy where things were great, but I didn’t, and the time for a change was long overdue.
12
Aiden
“Are you tapping out already, champ?” Parks called as I set the weights down in front of the mirror in the gym.
I shot him a glance as I ran my towel down my face, wiping away the sweat before taking a swig from my water bottle. “I’m heading down to the pool. You should consider getting some cardio in for once. It’s good for the heart.”
He waved me off as he racked up for his set of squats. “Nah. I have you in my corner to operate on me when I’m old and dying of congestive heart failure.”
“You want me doing surgery on you when I’m seventy?”
“Well, all this cardio will keep you nimble, right? You’ll have steady hands well into your nineties. Unless the stress of the job kills you, of course.” He winked.
Parks was impossible. I nodded at his weights. “You can do more than that. Don’t be a pansy. I’ll see you downstairs in forty-five.”
“Don’t forget your water wings!”
I ignored his comment as I made my way out of the gym on the second level of the recreational center Parks and I came to in the mornings before our shifts at the hospital started. It was just down the street, a short five-minute drive, and it had all the facilities we could need. In the summer months, we used the outdoor tennis courts, and in the winter, we opted for the indoor squash courts. It was never busy at the crack of dawn, so we had full access to everything we wanted, and on a morning like today, I had almost the whole pool to myself.
I changed into my swim trunks, took a shower as per swimming pool regulations, and made my way out to the pool to dive into the deep end and start swimming my laps. I started nice and easy to get the body warmed up. The breast stroke was my go to.
My mind was drawn to memories of my party on the weekend. I still hadn’t seen Elizabeth since.
That wasn’t necessarily true. I’d seen her in my dreams. Several of them. And in said dreams, she was scan
tily clothed and had her ass pressed into my groin as she bit down on my thumb in her mouth.
The swimming pool was not the place for a hard on.
I made it to the opposite end of the pool and turned back around. I had to stay focused on my body. On my breathing. On the strokes and the muscles and the payoff of doing it properly.
But Elizabeth was too much to ignore.
Running over the events of the dinner party only served to instill in me that I wasn’t the only one feeling the heat between us. I could confidently say that I was pretty sure she felt it too. Her giggles, the way she smiled, and how she deliberately spared me from the awkwardness at the end of the night when she took her leave.
Yes. She felt it.
But that didn’t matter. We had jobs to do. And the two of us getting involved, for lack of a better word, was only going to jeopardize our patients and our careers. Especially hers. She was just breaking into her stride at the hospital, and she had a promising future ahead of her if she kept her eye on the prize.
And even though I wanted to be, the prize was not me.
After three more lengths, I switched from the breast stroke to freestyle. My heart rate climbed, and I kept my breathing even, turning to the side to catch a breath on every third stroke and exhaling into the water to maintain a steady balance.
I never should have taken her as my resident. I should have held my ground and told the dean that I wanted no part of it. My hands were already full.
But then she might have gone to Parks. Or Sarah Vant.
I shuddered at the thought.
Where Elizabeth had been charming and polite and all around delightful at my dinner party, Sarah had been the opposite. She was a walking disaster in shoes that were too tall for her to walk properly in. I recalled how her knees remained bent as she walked around my place like a baby giraffe, unsteady and wobbly and woefully daft looking. She had no idea how off putting she was. Her advances had never been well received by me, yet she still continued to try.
I’d resigned myself to my fate that I would never be free of her so long as we were both working at St. Mark’s together.
Although a guy could still dream.
Dreams.
Elizabeth.
Everything came back full circle to her. Always to her. It was as maddening as it was pleasant to think of the curve of her lips, the clever sparkle in her eye, the curve in her lower back in that skirt.
Shit.
* * *
Parks and I slid into the front seats of my Mercedes, and I hit the push to start button in the dash. The engine rumbled, and I ran my fingers over my wet hair as Parks leaned back in his seat and let out a sigh.
“Back to the grind. Mondays are always the fucking worst.”
I checked my mirrors and reversed out of the spot. “Tell me about it. I’m in the ER today.”
“Shit. Seriously? That’s some bad luck. All the assholes who spent the weekend fucking around come out of the woodwork on Mondays.”
“I don’t need to be reminded.” It was true. Fridays and Saturdays were still the worst shifts in the ER at St. Mark’s, especially in the evenings when people started drinking and partying and making bad decisions that resulted in messy injuries. But Mondays were a whole other level of fuckery.
I could feel Parks grinning at me.
I shot him a dark look. “What?”
“At least you’ll have that sexy new resident of yours to keep you company.”
“Stop it.”
“What? It’s true. She’s hot as hell. The whole hospital is talking about her.”
“I haven’t noticed.” That was a lie. I’d noticed. I’d also noticed other male doctors and nurses checking her out in the hallways. It irked me, but I couldn’t blame them. A girl like Elizabeth didn’t stroll through the halls of St. Mark’s that often.
Or ever, to be more precise.
Parks cracked his window a couple of inches, and fresh air filled the car. “She’s a cool chick, Aiden.”
“A cool chick?” I asked skeptically. “What is this, high school?”
“What? It’s true. She’s smart as hell. And it’s easy to see she’s going to go far in her career. I guess I just think it’s cool to meet her on the ground floor. You know. At the beginning.”
“I suppose.”
Parks chuckled. “Sarah was pissed that she was at your dinner party.”
“I don’t give a damn what Sarah thinks.”
“Does anybody?”
I chuckled. “Fair point.”
“I think she knows you’re into the new girl.”
I arched an eyebrow but kept my eyes on the road as we came to a red light. “Into the new girl? I’m not into her. Our relationship is strictly business. I’m her mentor, and she’s my—”
“Hey, I said Sarah thinks you’re into her, not that I think you’re into her. No need to get so touchy.” He gave me a cocky grin. “Although all this defensiveness is making me think Sarah might be onto something.”
“You know how I feel about relationships.”
“Yeah. That you don’t have time for them. Blah blah blah. That they’re artificial, and you have better things to do with your time. I get it. But Elizabeth happens to work the same schedule as you and just happens to be in all the same places as you. It’s like divine intervention. And hey, if you don’t want to go for her, I will.”
“She has a boyfriend.” I spoke a little too quickly and a little too sharply.
Parks chuckled. “For now.”
I hated that his talking about Elizabeth got to me. She’d never go for a guy like Parks. I knew that. But the thought of him sauntering up to her and trying to lay one of his cheesy pickup lines on her made my skin crawl.
I was spared from the conversation when we pulled into the employee parking lot on the roof. Parks rolled out of the car, straightened out his leather jacket, and fell into step beside me as we made our way to the doors.
We hit the men’s locker rooms first and got into our scrubs and white coats. A couple of other doctors were in there talking quietly amongst themselves, and everyone said hello. Then Parks and I struck out into the hallway.
“I’ll catch you around lunch?” Parks asked, tipping his head toward the break room. “I have a pretty full day down in the OR, but maybe we’ll pass each other.”
“Doubt it.”
He chuckled. “You’re probably right. But we can try, right? Good luck today. You’re gonna need it.”
“Thanks,” I said before turning and making my way down the winding halls to the ER. On my way, I passed several nurses and doctors who all nodded and said hello. I offered them waves and small smiles but nothing more. I did not have the time to invite conversation by being too friendly in the halls, and that was how everyone seemed to interpret my manners—that I wanted to talk.
The only people I cared to share words with on days like today were my patients and the nurses and doctors working right alongside me in the ER.
And Elizabeth.
I was fairly certain I’d always have words for her.
13
Elizabeth
I mulled over the electricity bill and me getting a second job as I sat on the train on my way to the hospital. There had to be a better way to make some money on the side. Maybe I could tutor or help out with someone’s side business at the hospital. I knew a lot of nurses and doctors would pick up extra shifts at other hospitals or work a few days a week in a private office for additional income, and the overtime had to be more than decent.
Didn’t it?
I wouldn’t need it ten years from now, but I sure as hell did today. The electricity would be cut off by tomorrow evening if we didn’t get a payment into them. It wasn’t going to happen, and that alone stressed me out completely. I couldn’t call my mom, seeing as how she had less income than even the poorest of the poor. I was surprised that she still had the little house my dad had built thirty years prior, but he’d been smart and paid the t
hing off. She could afford the small amount in taxes and insurance since she was in the middle of the ghetto.
“One day,” I mumbled to myself as I got off the train and jogged across the street to the hospital. I would make enough money one day to take care of both of us; of all of us. It would be my legacy to bring us from dipping past the poverty line to having more than enough. I’d use my excess to set up a fund to help others like me. Surely, there were a handful of medical students who had used scholarships, fellowships, and loans to get their M.D. Not everyone had a paid ride and a silver spoon in their mouths. I had no doubt that Aiden did, but maybe I was being unfair.
The ER was pure chaos when I walked in, and the madness of it caused me to stop short. “What’s going on?”
“Move!” a loud voice yelled from behind me, and I jumped to the left to make way for the stretcher and the two EMS guys who were running past me. The man on the stretcher was covered in blood and shaking violently. Another two followed him.
“Shit.” I ran toward the women’s locker room and chucked my stuff in before racing back toward the ER. I wasn’t allowed to diagnose or perform anything more than the nurses might be able to do, but I was an extra set of hands, and surely, someone could use my help.
“Elizabeth. Get over here.” Aiden touched my shoulder before jogging toward the OR. He looked over his shoulder and kept on going as he called back to me. “There was a bombing downtown this morning. People will be piling in. Just help with check-in and triage. I’ll be going into surgery for substantial injuries. Join me as soon as you can, but start here.”
I didn’t get a chance to reply, but there was no need to. It was time to jump into the fray. I worked for the next two hours beside a handful of nurses, helping with bandaging, assessments, and drawing blood.
“It’s going to be okay. You’re in good hands, sweetheart.” I touched the side of the face of the little girl who sat on the table before me, shaking. Her mousy brown hair was in pigtails, secured with pink elastics with little yellow and purple beads on them. She and whichever parent did her hair this morning had no clue they’d be victims in a bombing before ten in the morning today. “You’re okay now.”
Between The Sheets Page 8
