After the last panel was stacked, Jesse took her hand and pulled her to him. After looking long and hard at her, he wrapped her in a hug and held her there for the longest time. Then he let her go and walked to the truck.
It was a silent ride back. Jesse ran the gate for her while they turned the heifers out, and then he headed into the barn.
It was sinking into both of them. Jesse would be gone soon. He had his own plans. She was bereft—alone and ridiculous. What had she been thinking? She'd known he would leave and start a new life.
Jesse walked over. "Lee, I'll be ready to lay clay down tomorrow."
She nodded. "I'll call Bobby and see about getting that dump truck out there for you."
Jesse began, "Lee, I—"
She spun toward her truck and said over her shoulder, "Thanks for your help this morning, Jesse."
Silence followed her.
She entered the house, shaken, but determined not to think about Jesse. Wess had left her all alone. It was nothing new. After washing her hands in the bathroom, she stared at her reflection in the mirror—you dumbshit.
Sitting at the kitchen table with a diet soda, she went over her notes. Calling Joe first, she got his voice mail. "Hey, Joe. This is Lee again. I went over the info you sent me and, thanks again. You did a lot of extra work on those two for me. I was wondering if you had anyone at the Archer County sheriff's office that you might be able to sweet talk for me. I'd like to ask a few questions around there. I think my boy Kenneth may have been up to no good when he was younger. Someone might remember something about it. Give me a call, would you? Thanks. Talk to you soon."
She leaned back in her chair, sighing from deep down inside. Since she'd skipped breakfast, she needed to eat something, but her stomach had a pool of acid bubbling inside.
The sweetness sounded awful, but she pulled out a carton of yogurt and took a spoonful. Then another. She had to eat it. She would not throw up.
She wandered into the living room, eating her snack. Chowser lay on the couch, head on his paws. As he raised his eyebrows, she said, "Hey, buddy, you ever going to leave me?"
He looked steadily at her.
"I'll take that as a no." She stared out the window at her flowers, her eyes wandering to the bench, the driveway and the road to the barn. Now she had lost her motivation. She didn't want to make phone calls, she didn't want to check cattle, and she didn't want to check the wheat fields. She had no drive to do anything.
It was like the whole day had morphed out of kilter. She moved toward the couch, her feet heavier with each step. Covering with the throw, she gave in to the pull of nothingness. She'd fought so hard for so long. She couldn't fight anymore.
JESSE'S MIND RACED as he drove out to the pond. He hadn't considered the big picture nor thought clearly about how this thing with Lee would all play out. The brief glimpse of her devastation was all the motivation he needed to get his ass in gear and start figuring. No way would he let Lee get hurt again. And there was no way in hell he would lose her.
The problem was, he couldn’t settle down on Lee’s ranch. He wouldn’t mooch like that, no matter if she said she wanted him to live there. His dream was to own his own place. He’d worked hard his whole career to make that dream come true.
And then there was Lee and her ranch. It was her home, and it was her only tie to her beloved daughter and Wess. He couldn’t ask her to sell it and come live with him on his place. That would be cruel—too much of a sacrifice for her.
Somehow, he had to find an answer.
He pushed the dozer like a madman all day, finishing by three. Driving the dozer up and out of the pond, he parked it under the trees. The next step would be to use the frontend loader and the dump truck, hauling clay to line the pond. The clay ensured it would hold the precious rain water when it came.
Arriving at the barn, he checked the heifer first thing, and she was up and eating her hay, a nice little bull calf standing beside her. Thank God. She was the last thing he wanted to deal with this afternoon. He fed the rest of the heifers and remaining young cows and calves, then the horses and hogs.
Taking off his shirt, he turned on the water outside the barn, hosing his head and upper body off. It had been a hell of a hot day. He sluiced and slapped the water off himself, then dried with his shirt. Draping it over his shoulders, he headed to his truck. It was time to take on a very hard-headed lady.
LEE HADN'T MOVED FROM the couch. She ignored the sound of Jesse's truck pulling into the driveway and his footsteps approaching the door.
He knocked and waited. And waited some more. Then he walked over to the window and peered inside, crooking his index finger at her and pointing at the door.
She blinked and got up. When she opened the door, she stood blocking his entry with her arms crossed on her chest. "Did you finish up digging the pond today?"
He came in anyway, brushing past her, bare-chested and without an invitation, sitting down on the couch. Patting the seat beside him, he said, "Sit down, and I'll tell you."
She stood still.
"Oh, for Christ's sake, Lee, would you get over here?" He dropped his dirty shirt on the floor.
She came closer but didn't sit down. Damn, why couldn't he have left his shirt on? Little tingles skittered up her belly, despite her wishes otherwise.
Jesse stood and grabbed her, holding her in a fierce hug. Rocking her side to side, he said, "It's okay, butterfly. We'll figure this out. I promise we will. I told you you're not alone, and you're not. I'm here with you."
He kissed her cheek and her temple.
She began to relax, and she squeezed her eyes shut. Her body was such a traitor.
Jesse's calloused hands lifted her face, and he looked into her eyes. "Lee Granger, we will find a way to work this out. You and me together. I'm not going to lose you." Kissing her sweetly, he folded her into his warm embrace. Moving side to side, he crooned softly in her ear.
She started to cry again and pushed away, walking into the kitchen, sniffing and wiping her face. She would not do this again.
Jesse came over and wrapped his arms around her.
She sniffed and wiped her nose on her arm. He handed her his handkerchief, and she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. This was a disgusting habit she planned to break.
Chewing her lip, she stared out the back window. Reversing in his arms, and without looking at him, she hugged him tightly. His hard chest muscles pressed into her as he hugged her back. Eyes down, she kissed his cheek. "Guess you'll need another one of those shirts if you're going to hang around for a while, huh?"
Jesse brushed her hair away from her eyes. "I'd sure appreciate that, butterfly," and he smiled. "How about we go over to Breckenridge and get something to eat after I take a shower?"
"Wow, you mean you can't be enticed by the microwave dinner I was going to offer you?"
He grinned and headed down the hallway. "Hmm, it's a hard choice, but I think Breckenridge it is."
She pulled on clean clothes and freshened up in the other bathroom while Jesse was in the shower. In the kitchen, she poured herself a tiny bit of wine and sat at the table, looking out back. The cattle were up watering at the pond. Lord, it had been so dry even the weeds were choked up.
Jesse walked in and bent down to kiss the top of her head. "You ready, little lady?"
"Just need to put my boots on."
When they got to the truck, he opened the door for her.
Climbing behind the wheel, he flipped up the center console. "Get over here, girl. Sit by me. Here's the seat belt."
She rolled her eyes. "Are we in high school?" But she slid over and buckled up.
He held up his hand. "Oh, we don't want to go there."
She laughed. "Jesse, the ladies' man."
Embarrassed, he said, "Not really."
"Uh, huh."
Slipping his arm around her, he said, "Change of subject, please," and grinned.
She was happy—on an emotional roller coaster and ou
t of control.
Jesse pulled her close and kissed her temple.
It was all so natural. Then she blinked her eyes, and it was surreal. Was this really her? A few weeks ago, she didn't know this handsome, charismatic cowboy. And now his presence had taken over her life.
She sighed and glanced down at her lap. Jesse's lean, muscular thigh leaned against hers. He was so beautiful. She closed her eyes, tired and overwrought with emotion.
Jesse said softly, "Hey, sweet thing, look at me."
She looked up at his face.
"You still with me?"
She nodded.
"Good, you stay here."
Dinner out was a treat. It was a forty-minute drive each way, but the luxury was worth it. They ate at a drive-in seafood place. It was a little mom-and-pop shop that had amazing food. It had been a favorite night out for her and Wess.
On the way home, she stared at the flat stretches of road rolling by in the headlights as she snuggled up against Jesse. Closing her eyes, she lost herself in the sensation of driving through the night with this man.
When they got home, he helped her down from the truck and put his arm around her as they walked up to the house.
She unlocked the door, and Chowser greeted her with a smile. "Go on, you old thing. Do your stuff." He trotted into the night. She levered her boots off then kicked the jack to Jesse.
In the kitchen, she asked, "Would you like something to drink? You left a beer here, you know."
"Now that's pretty handy. Sure, I'll take it if you'll have some wine with me."
She popped the top off his beer and poured a glass of wine. Turning off the light, she headed over to turn on the lamp by the recliner.
Jesse caught her hand. "Why don't you leave it off? And, I'd like to hear that Clapton CD again, if you don't mind."
"My, my, we're demanding tonight, aren't we?"
She put on Clapton before joining him on the old leather couch.
He pulled her against him and kissed the top of her head. "I never did get the hang of being comfortable with a girl on a sofa. They're not made for it."
She grinned. "You mean in all that high school experience, you never got comfortable with a girl on a couch?"
"Oh, Lord, that again? Gimme a break, Lee."
"Okay, okay."
Her lovely Clapton filled the room. She closed her eyes and sipped her wine. It felt strange and wonderful to be snuggled up in a sweet man's arms in the soft light of the moon.
Jesse leaned his head on the back of the couch and sighed. He felt it, too.
Soon her wine was gone, and she placed her glass on the end table.
Jesse pulled her to her feet and led her down the hall toward her bedroom.
All those languid feelings vanished, and ice darts flashed through her body. Her mind froze, and she couldn't think as she followed behind him.
He whispered in her ear, "Put on your t-shirt and shorts, and come to bed."
Stiff and ice cold, she grabbed her clothes and shut the bathroom door. In the mirror, her eyes were wide, and she looked scared to death. This was ridiculous.
When she opened the door, light shone on the bed. There lay Jesse on the quilt, smiling, looking gorgeous and confident. She gulped, then flipped off the light and laid down beside him.
He reached for her, pulling her into his arms. Snuggling her close, he kissed the top of her head.
Her bent leg lay on his thigh, her cheek on his chest and her hand was on his firm belly. She tried her best to relax, but it wasn't happening.
Jesse sensed it and lifted her chin.
She could make out his face in the moonlight as her eyes adjusted to the dark. He could probably see hers as well.
"Little butterfly, calm down. Everything's all right." He pulled her up higher on his chest and kissed her.
She gazed at him for a moment, then kissed him back. Tracing his lips with her thumb, she kissed him more urgently. "Thank you, Jesse."
He drew her face to him and kissed her slowly and deeply.
Her body warmed and began to respond to him. She rubbed her hand across his chest, and he covered it with his, squeezing her fingers. She looked into his eyes and kissed him lightly again.
In a rush, he swept her up and placed her astride him, pulling her down and kissing her hard.
She was too surprised to move.
Jesse groaned and, just as quickly, lifted her off, laying her beside him again.
He leaned above her, holding her arms in place. "Miss Lee, why don't you get on under those covers? Now please."
She crawled inside the blanket and sheet, and glanced over at him.
Turning on his side, head on his folded arm, he reached over to stroke her face, speaking softly. "No matter what you might think right now, you're not ready for us yet. You'd either hate me or hate yourself in the morning, and I'm not going to let that happen. Believe me, I sure wish otherwise. Now, turn over, butterfly, before I'm tempted again."
He was right. Somehow, he knew her better than she knew herself. Nestling her head into the pillow, she relaxed, safe with this man who had taken over her life.
JESSE SNUGGLED CLOSE to Lee and breathed in her wonderful smell. He'd missed this loving closeness in his life on the road. None of the women he'd been with had supplied this intense connection, or the way he wanted to cherish and protect her.
He rubbed her head with gentle fingertips and could feel her unwind. Soon she breathed a long, relaxed sigh. His little butterfly was drifting off. Reaching up under her shirt, he scratched her back. Her skin was so soft. It amazed him how many muscles she had. This girl worked hard for them, though.
He massaged her shoulders and back until her breathing told him that she was safely dreaming. First pulling the covers up over her, he carefully slipped out of bed.
Curling up on the couch, he stared out into the night, the leaves on the oak tree dappled in the moonlight. He wasn't a bit sleepy. He’d come so close to ruining everything. She'd never have forgiven herself.
God, he had to figure out some way for this to work—for them to work. There had to be some way where Lee had her ranch, he had his dream, and they still had each other.
He laid awake long into the night, a beautiful butterfly on his mind.
Chapter Ten
LEE WOKE AND UNTANGLED herself from the covers. The early morning light softened the edges of the familiar room, bringing back a host of memories of other mornings and the loving man she used to share them with.
Her wounded heart throbbed, as it always did at these times, though, inexplicably, the pain had now softened from the slicing devastation of the past. She breathed deeply and exhaled. The feeling receded.
After her first cup of coffee, she mentally lined out her day. It would be a hectic one.
A while later, she poured another cup and stood at the front window. Her flowers needed tending to—pruning dead heads, spraying for bugs and watering. She'd do that tonight. Across the road, Chowser was head-down, intent on running something to the ground in the sun-bleached grass.
She loved this North Texas flat land, even dry as it was. The wildness appealed to her. She treasured the bobcats, badgers, and coyotes that called it home. Except for the damn hogs and the rattlers that invaded her place, and those animals her hunters set their sights on, she had a live-and-let-live agreement with the wildlife. Others could have the hills and the mountains, the oceans and the lakes. Just give her North Texas ranch land with its mesquites, ponds and rivers.
Later, Jesse drove in as she threw hay to the heifers in the stalls. She eyed him up and down as he walked in. "Hey, cowboy, you look entirely pooped out."
"I didn't get much sleep last night." Taking the sack of feed from her, he wrapped her in his arms.
She pulled back and examined him again. "You okay?"
"Hmm, give me a kiss, and I'll tell you." He grinned and kissed her.
She kissed him back, then placed her hands on either side of his face and ti
lted it toward her. "I'm not the only one who has bloodshot eyes." She frowned. "I'm a tough cookie, cowboy. I'm won't break in a million pieces. That ship has sailed. I'm all glued back together and stronger than ever."
"If you're a cookie, give me some sugar," he joked, and kissed her again.
She laughed. "You're sure full of shit this morning. What's gotten into you?"
He pulled her close, resting his chin on her head. After a while he said, "You're what's got into me, woman, and I'm never letting you go. You remember that." Squeezing her tightly, he stepped back. "What are your plans for the evening, Miss Lee?"
Shrugging her shoulders, she said, "Nothing much. After taking a gander at the yard, I plan on working in the flower beds. Pruning and watering, spraying for bugs—that kind of stuff."
Jesse considered for a moment. "How about this. I was going to ask you to come over to my place, but how about I bring the fixings and make dinner here while you work with your flowers? You trust me in your kitchen?"
"That depends. You ever catch anything on fire?"
He grinned. "Oh, man, you're a tough customer. No, I have not caught anything on fire. So, what's the verdict?"
"Sure, come on over. I'd love to have a man cook for me." She shook her head. How did this guy always make her smile?
With his hands on his hips, he surveyed her top to bottom. "Now, boss lady, what's on your chore list this morning?"
She detailed her to-dos for the day as they finished feeding.
Jesse nodded. "Sounds like a plan. Let's gather up those cows and get on the road."
By the time they'd gotten all the running around done and she headed back to the house, it was past one. Her traitorous tummy rumbled. Fixing a ham sandwich and popping the top off an orange soda, she sat down at the table. With service spotty in the pastures, she’d missed a call from Joe that morning.
She punched his voicemail. "Hey, Lee, this is Joe getting back to you. Yeah, I found out who you need to talk to over in Archer County. He's retired, but he should be able to help you out. His name's Sheriff Kline and he lives in Archer City now.”—he gave her the phone number—" Take care. I'll talk to you later."
True-Blue Texas Cowboy Page 10
