by Maggie Mundy
If he walked away from the responsibility, Autumn would think less of him. But if he stayed with a person where the only connection was the child, she could see that being a disaster too. Not to mention, it would leave her devastated as well. It was out of her hands. She would find out later and then decide what she would do.
Autumn was about to get in her car and drive home when her phone pinged. A part of her wanted it to be him and another part dreaded it.
Brett: Sorry I can’t make tea tonight. Something has come up and I need to see someone. Will call you later.
Autumn’s heart sunk and she wanted to cry. One of the receptionists walked past on the way to her car, and Autumn put her head down and pretended to be looking for something in her glove box. She would go home and have a glass of wine. Having some time on her own to think was what she needed anyway.
As she drove home, all she could visualize was Brett sitting somewhere, talking to a past lover. She liked him a lot but she didn’t own him. She didn’t want to go down this road again of feeling anxious about her relationship. Life was easier when you were on your own.
Autumn opened the fridge door but didn’t feel like eating. Instead, she grabbed the bottle of white wine. Drinking wasn’t a solution to problems but sometimes you just needed to chill.
Sitting outside beneath a tree and watching the sun going down, she took a deep breath. In truth, she hadn’t really known what she wanted when she came to Australia. One thing she did know was that she did not want stress. If Brett was involved in another relationship, she was sensible enough to get out before her heart got broken any more.
The front doorbell rang. That was odd, as Brett had his key. Maybe it was Dorothy. Autumn had not seen her since she had gotten back from her trip to the caves with friends. She probably wanted to catch up on all the gossip.
Autumn opened the door.
Jonathan stood there.
Autumn shook her head as if she was imagining him. Nope, he was still there.
“What . . . how did you get here?”
Jonathan gave her that big smile as if he’d never done anything wrong in his life. He walked in and hugged her, then strolled over and lounged on the couch. Anyone would think he lived there. Autumn felt stuck to the spot but forced herself to move.
He picked up her glass and smiled. “I don’t suppose I could have one, too? It’s been a while since we last saw each other. We should celebrate.”
Like a robot, she went and got a glass and poured him a drink. “Celebrate what? Our divorce? That came through long ago. You didn’t answer my questions, Jonathan. How and why are you here?” Autumn had to regain some semblance of control here.
Jonathan sipped on his wine and leaned back. “I saw Simon at the conference. He said you’d caught up and gave me your address, so I thought I would pop in and see you.”
“That is a barefaced lie. Simon told me he’d bumped into you and told you zip. Plus, the Blue Mountains are not just around the corner from Sydney. You don’t just pop in here.” Something was going on.
“It’s true. I made a special trip. I needed to see you.”
There was that word. Need. It should be a warning sign flashing above Jonathan’s head like a neon light. She would get to the bottom of this and chuck him out. Her doctor side came to the front for a minute. Was he sick? “What’s wrong?”
“After I saw you at the reunion, I went back to Scotland and took up my position at the hospital. It has turned out to be more demanding than I’d thought. Geraldine is busy with her business and I came to understand how much you were always there for me.”
So, he was not sick. Her momentary sympathy went out the window. Where was Jonathan going with this? Was he asking for them to get back together again? Autumn might be only here on a working visa, and the man she was interested in was out meeting another woman who was having his baby, but she had pride. It didn’t matter as she could make it on her own, couldn’t she? For a split second, and out of desperation, she contemplated getting back with Jonathan. No. she didn’t want that anymore.
“I’m flattered that you appreciated what I did when we were together, but we are not together anymore.”
“You always made me calm down whenever things got too much. I need you beside me to help me through this rough time.” Jonathan moved closer and placed his hand on her knee.
Autumn froze as she stared at it. The hair on her neck stood on end as if she was being trapped by a spider in a web. She had been there once before and was not going back.
Jonathan moved closer and cupped her cheek as he peered at her lips. He was going to try and kiss her.
Autumn pushed herself back on the couch to get away. “Are you really trying to kiss me, Jonathan?”
“See, I knew you would understand. I would love you to come back. Every time I come down to London, we could have time together.” His hand started to move from her knee up her thigh.
Autumn’s stomach turned at his touch. Then she laughed when she caught on to what he was saying. This man had some nerve. She wasn’t interested in him but wanted to check something out.
“Hang on. Are you still engaged to Geraldine? I thought from the way you were speaking that you had broken up.”
“We are apart.”
“Permanently?” Autumn stood, wanting to get as much distance as possible between them.
“We’re not sure. You’ve always helped me understand things in the past. I can operate on people, but you help with my feelings when they get all messed up. You know I’m a complicated man. You said you used to love that about me.”
Autumn laughed, seeing what this visit was truly about. “Hell, all you want is a quick fix of sex while you’re here in Australia and someone to visit in London when you’re away from home.”
“It sounds awful when you say it like that, but I have always cared for you, and I thought you would understand me.” He put his glass down and moved toward her, but she put her hands up.
“Don’t come any closer. I understand perfectly well that you’re an entitled selfish prick.” That felt so good to say out loud.
“Autumn. It’s not like you to say such things. I heard you’ve been associating with some lowlife. You are better than this.”
“I should have said this a long time ago. The door to us is completely closed and has been for a long time. I never want to see you again, and if we ever happen to pass each other in a medical situation, then feel free to ignore me because I intend to ignore you.” She took a deep breath. “Also, the lowlife you mentioned has more integrity in his little finger than you have in your whole body. Now, leave.”
Jonathan opened his mouth to say something but then thought better of it and marched toward the front door. He turned for a parting shot. “You never knew how good you had it.” Then he was gone.
He was wrong. Back then, she had not realized how badly she’d had it. Now she was free. Free of Jonathan for good and free to go her own way, even if that meant a future without Brett.
Jonathan had given her a wonderful gift.
She actually believed in herself.
Chapter Fourteen
Brett hated keeping things from Autumn but guessed she had her own secrets too. By the time you got to their age, you had baggage. He had left a few broken hearts along the way but he had protected his own. If he was going to make a go of a future with Autumn then this was the first one of the hurdles he would face.
Thanks to his old friend Dale, Chris had managed to find out the suburb where he lived, even if she didn’t have his address. He needed to sort it out. If Chris was distressed by the pregnancy, he would see if he could help in some way.
Brett had arranged to meet her at the Katoomba Family Hotel. It was a well-known venue and there would be lots of people around. He hoped she didn’t intend on making a scene.
When he walked in and across to the bar, he caught a glimpse of red hair. That hair color and the fact that she was a fair bit younger than him—he woul
d say early twenties—were two things he could recall from that boozy night. She was sitting in the corner.
He walked over and she peered up at him. Chris bit her bottom lip and was wringing her hands.
“Can I get you a coffee or something?” he asked.
“No thanks.” She stood for second and then sat down. He could see a bump showing—she was definitely pregnant. Not that he had thought she was lying anyway.
“I’ll get myself one and then we can talk.”
When he sat with his drink, she didn’t look up. This was going to be a hard conversation if she couldn’t even look at him.
“So, how can I help you? You said you’re pregnant, so I assume you think I had something to do with it.” He might as well get straight to the point.
She eventually glanced at him. “I wasn’t going to say anything. When I found out I decided to keep it and thought I could cope.” She wrung her hands for a minute before she spoke again, “I lost my job and couldn’t pay my rent. I didn’t want to depend on someone else, but I need some money. People are not too keen on employing a person who’s pregnant.”
He felt sorry for her but that didn’t mean he was going to take responsibility for something that was not his fault.
“It’s not my baby.”
Chris went pale. That was obviously not the news she wanted to hear. “It has to be. The only other person I had sex with said he’d been given the snip.”
“Then you must have an amazing baby because I’m sterile. Thanks to an accident a long time ago, I can’t have kids.”
“Hell. One of you has to be lying.” She kept shaking her head.
“Well, it’s not me. It’s not the kind of thing a guy would make up. Have you contacted the other man?” Brett asked.
“His name’s Dave and he’s married. Said they weren’t going to have any more children and that’s why he’d had the operation. I know it was wrong when we had sex, but they were on the rocks anyway.”
The guy sounded like a dick. “I read somewhere guys still have to take precautions for three months after having the snip. Maybe he hadn’t waited long enough.”
“Shit. I’m so stupid. I should have known he was fibbing. One of his mates cracked a joke once that Dave had needed to sit on a cushion over Christmas because his privates were sore. I thought once you had them snipped, that was it.”
“Look, I can see you’re in a state but I’m obviously not going to pay to look after someone else’s kid. But I don’t like to see anyone chucked out on the street either. Have you got somewhere you can stay?” He hoped she did because he didn’t want her to come home with him, even temporarily.
“My sister lives in Sydney but we haven’t talked for two years.”
“I suggest you need some family about you for now. When you’re a bit more settled, you can make the decision to call the father or not.”
She reached into her purse and grabbed her cell phone. “Will you stay with me while I talk to her?”
“Of course.” Chris might have been a one-night stand but she was still someone who was frightened. Damn! If he was going to have a kid on his own, he knew he would have been scared shitless.
Five minutes later, she had finished talking.
“She told me to go to her. Said she would never forgive herself if something happened to me. Maybe this baby will pull us back together.”
“This situation will have a silver lining after all.”
Brett followed her out to her car, which was old and full of rust. He was surprised the thing had lasted all the way from Melbourne. He grabbed his wallet and pulled out two fifty-dollar notes. “Use this to get some petrol and buy some food to take to your sister’s.”
“Thank you. You seem like a good guy. I’m sorry you can’t have kids.”
“I’ve accepted it.”
He had, but would Autumn?
It didn’t matter.
They were just ‘friends with benefits.’
“Look after yourself. Think about contacting the dad. If you had some money coming in from him you might be better off.”
She drove away and Brett headed home. No kids for him. It was one of the reasons it would never work with Autumn. She deserved to be a mum and he couldn’t give her that.
As he pulled into his street toward the cottages, someone came out of Autumn’s place. He didn’t recognize the man. She was free to have whoever she wanted visiting, but then again, who was it? Brett wanted to be exclusive but she hadn’t said the same. His heart was getting messed up, good and proper. If there was to be any type of future with Autumn, he should explain about Chris anyway. He didn’t want secrets between them. He had also said he would protect her.
Brett went into his place and fed Bluey and then headed around. It was best to knock and not just let himself in.
Autumn opened the door. “I told you to go and I never want to see you again!” she yelled.
“Whoa. Sorry. What did I do?” Brett held his hands up. Whoever the guy had been, she was clearly glad he was gone and that suited Brett perfectly.
“Brett. I didn’t think it was you.”
“I’m happy about that. Would it have been the guy I just saw drive off like a nut down the street?”
Autumn headed back inside and he followed her. There were two wine glasses on the coffee table.
“That was my ex-husband, Jonathan.” She said the words with enough venom for a poisonous snake.
“Wow. That’s not what I expected.”
“Simon told me Jonathan had been at the conference but I didn’t think he would come here. He said Simon gave him my address, but I doubt that very much.”
“Can I ask what he wanted?”
“Let me get you a drink and I will enlighten you,” Autumn said as she grabbed another glass from the kitchen.
Brett sat and took a gulp of the wine.
“He said he needed to see me because I could help him. I thought he might be sick, but no. I got the impression his engagement was off, but no again. After a little chat, I worked out he wanted sex while he was here and then for me to be his bit on the side in London when I went back to the UK.”
Brett had to give the man credit for being the biggest dickhead around. “You know, you’re really sexy when you’re mad.”
“I can’t believe it. He actually thought I would be okay with his suggestion.”
Brett put his glass down and went over and stood in front of her with his arms open. “Is it safe to ask for a hug?”
“Yes. In fact, it’s what I need right now.”
Autumn held on tight and he enjoyed the closeness while it lasted. His chat about Chris was still to come.
She moved away, took a big drink, and sat on the couch. “So, how did your evening go?”
“I went to see the person who’s been sending me the text messages. Her name is Chris. I knew her from a one-night stand a while back.” He emptied his glass. “She’s pregnant.”
Autumn stared into her glass. Somehow, he didn’t think she was surprised.
“I have to admit, I saw a message on your phone before I brought it over this morning. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be nosy.”
“Sneaky. Well, I met her at a local hotel and she was freaking out. She’d lost her job and has nowhere to live and very little money.”
“And you’re the father?”
“She believed that, but I told her it was impossible. When I was younger, I had a bike-riding accident. The trauma meant I can’t have kids. They said there is some sort of nerve damage or tubes ripped.”
“I didn’t see it in your medical history—I’m sorry. That was so wrong of me to say that. I just went into doctor mode.”
“It’s not there because I didn’t have my records sent from Victoria. They kept sending me emails to sign it off but I ignored them.”
“Can I ask why?”
“When I left home, being sterile was the final kick in the gut.” He took a deep breath, finding it hard to get the wo
rds out. “I need something stronger than this wine.”
Autumn went and poured him a brandy.
He took a gulp and let the liquid burn the back of his throat. He hadn’t talked about this to anyone for years. “I was young when it happened. Time went by and I forgot things. It wasn’t important and I didn’t want kids. Then I met a girl. I was twenty-one and thought the world was okay. Six months later, we got engaged. I had a job offer to go away for three months. When I got back, she was eight weeks pregnant. Obviously, I knew it wasn’t mine.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It gets better. It was my best friend’s.
“I can fully understand leaving. I would have done the same.”
Brett put down his drink and motioned for her to come across to him. He wanted her on his lap.
Autumn straddled him and put her arms around his neck.
He promised himself as he kissed her that he would be upfront about everything from now on. So, he had told a lie about the accident, but the outcome was the same.
Brett just didn’t want her to think badly of his family.
Chapter Fifteen
Autumn was loving life. A week had passed since the conference and Jonathan’s visit. Brett was wonderful and her sex life had never been better. She had given herself an ultimatum to let him know she had fallen for him. If it all went wrong, she would get on a plane and go visit Simon and Bridget in America. That way she would get to see the twins and she could cry on her friends’ shoulders. She had a meal planned for tonight with all the foods that Brett enjoyed. He said he really liked chicken kiev so she had stopped at the butcher and bought two. Autumn had a selection of vegetables she was doing as well. Dessert would be chocolate-chip ice cream. She just hoped she wouldn’t burn anything. Burning ice cream was highly unlikely, but with her culinary skills anything was possible.
