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by Souvankham Thammavongsa


  Everything in the universe has this shape

  You don’t have to see it for yourself for it to be true

  This letter is the shape of a tennis ball

  At Wimbledon during play the tennis ball always bounces

  It gets caught up in the net or hits the side of a racket

  There’s always a count to keep

  In Laos, a child wanted to play with a ball

  He found one buried in the ground

  It did not bounce

  He took it home to his family

  Everyone turned out inside

  The thing did what it didn’t do before

  It bounced

  Nothing happens if you’re lucky

  Foraging for dinner

  Harvesting the next cycle of crops

  Walking or digging

  Disturbing ground

  This is how you lose an arm or leg

  All of it

  You can’t eat metal

  But this is the new cash crop

  More than forty years ago, it had been planted

  Designed and seeded to clear the trail

  “There are no American combat forces in Laos”

  You don’t have to declare a war for there to be one

  You could say it never happened

  Who would know

  We move through fragments every day and we live

  A fragment isn’t the whole of a thing

  But it doesn’t need to be

  It’s enough to be an open

  An open that opens something inside and never closes itself up again

  This summer a dam collapsed in Laos

  The area of detail is marked with a little o

  Missing is the view of a human face on that map

  Over 6,600 were displaced and hundreds more were still missing

  A company dispatched rescue and emergency relief

  One helicopter and 11 boats

  It was a billion-dollar project

  They were worried about personnel

  A few ambulances streaked by

  We are told an investigation is underway

  A dam collapsed

  We already know about the failure of structure

  But they want to study it now

  They want to study dam standards and dam safety

  While people scramble to higher ground

  Wait on rooftops and trees stranded on slopes

  The weather, we are told, is an obstacle

  And authorities are looking for mattresses

  There is an effort to rescue

  Repeated phone calls go unanswered

  An expert on Laos from the University of Wisconsin

  Was brought in to comment

  His word was quoted by The New York Times

  The experts on Laos

  Are those who live there

  In the house abandoned and turned on its side

  On the oxen half-hidden in knee-deep water

  There was no warning, they said

  Just someone calling “The water is coming”

  The water is coming

  It was there

  Every eight minutes, 24 hours a day, 260 million rained down

  80 million failed to explode

  The war is over we are told

  Troops have been sent home

  The groundwork remains

  Proving there is no such thing as time

  It doesn’t respect or forgive or lessen anything

  A decision was made a long time ago

  The carrying-out crops up

  And you move it to the side of the field or plant around it

  Fashion it into a metal necklace

  Use as stilts for homes or a table lamp

  “Best Detroit steel” is the uptick trend

  One man tossed it into a basket on his back

  The ball-bearings it threw out went through his chest

  An aim and target chosen years ago

  The still-centre of a spin

  The smallest unit of ordinary matter

  Indivisible until it is

  Meaning

  It can happen with so little

  It can take a long time to arrive

  Years even if ever

  It’s possible meaning doesn’t mean anything

  And that is its meaning

  Meaning doesn’t give you clarity

  Clarity isn’t meaning

  Clutter and garbage can have meaning

  The cleaning-up that needed to be done

  Left for someone else to take care of

  Someone who has nothing to do with its meaning

  But will do the work to mean

  Whatever happens to meaning

  It is always there

  Orbiting a set path

  Attached and revolving

  A quiet hum behind a wall

  It means something even if you don’t want it

  And when you want it

  It doesn’t matter how voluminous

  It doesn’t mean at all

  THERE ARE NO PHOTOGRAPHS OF ME

  In all the photographs

  you took

  I’m

  not there

  I managed

  to get out

  before

  the flash

  Sometimes

  there was my foot

  or splash

  of black hair

  You’d point

  to that

  and say

  it was me

  that

  I had been there

  but who could say

  that’s true

  I am looking

  at the photographs

  you have

  now

  I’m not there

  and

  I haven’t been there

  for years

  I can see

  the frame

  of the

  photograph

  I can see further

  than that

  I can see

  outside

  this frame

  the looking on

  NORTH

  It’s the direction a compass is always pointing

  The part of a map that shows a view of the world

  It’s still there pointing when you’re upside down

  Wind speed is a fundamental atmospheric quantity

  Changes in temperature are a determining factor

  Look for the sun and track where it rises and sets

  Tell from the shape your shadow casts for you

  It will matter to know where you are and when

  You might need all these days or hours to count

  You will never be more alone following this point

  Some place you haven’t been yet rotating past

  Wherever you are you aren’t there even when you are

  A SPIDER

  made

  this

  It hadn’t been

  damaged

  and if it had been,

  it was built back

  over night

  Over and over

  from some small

  dark pit,

  it spun out

  a whole world

  for itself

  Nothing

  could come close

  and even in its brevity

  it will outlast

  our dim little buildings

  NAVY-BLUE CASHMERE

  I saw a dead man by the side of the road. I stopped

  To look at him. I had never seen one up close like this.

  He did not look dead. There was no blood, no scene

  Of accident. Maybe he fell from somewhere, run over

  By a passing car. I wanted to touch him, to feel what

  Being dead felt like, but I did not. There was no one

  Around to see him, to call to gather for him. Nothing

  But my own feeling. I spoke like I had been loved

  For man
y years, like he had been mine. And then, I

  Went on, walked around the body, left the burying.

  I would see one just like him out on the lake again.

  Alone and swimming. A head bobbing to the surface.

  GLITTER

  You

  can cover

  it all

  up

  in

  this stuff

  if

  you want

  We both

  know

  what’s

  beneath

  that

  glitter

  None

  of this

  was

  ever gold

  or could

  ever be

  Little

  plastic flecks

  shining

  only

  in close

  proximity

  To get by

  you’ll

  have to

  agree

  not

  to see

  what you

  have

  and you

  agree

  until

  there’s gold

  Face

  to face

  you admit

  you can’t

  make

  anything

  come

  close to that

  It was

  there

  before you

  and

  what

  it took

  to get

  gold

  like that

  well, let me tell

  you

  don’t have

  to make

  it do

  a thing

  at all

  to shine

  COST

  The squirrel

  is dead

  Its eye

  sockets

  have been

  filled in

  with green

  glass beads,

  Four little paws

  frozen

  in pose, and

  a fluffed-up tail

  Next to other

  stuffed animals

  arranged in bright

  cartoon colours,

  fabric pocked

  with balls of lint,

  plastic mouths

  glued open,

  laughing,

  all in

  on some joke

  they’ve told

  The squirrel

  isn’t laughing,

  a cost

  of the matter

  of having been

  real once

  ART

  Across

  the street

  from the

  museum

  there is

  someone

  making

  bubbles.

  He has an

  old mop

  with two

  dirt-filled

  strings.

  He holds

  the mop

  high, waves

  it above

  his head,

  cleaning.

  A bubble

  the size

  of a human

  body

  blisters

  and grieves

  out of air.

  None of us

  can climb

  inside

  and be

  carried off.

  All of us

  watch

  each one

  float away.

  He must

  have made

  thousands

  that day,

  but there is

  no proof

  of any

  having been

  made

  except those

  of us who

  saw it,

  the foam on

  the ground,

  dishwashing

  liquid

  dripping from

  high-pitched

  trees.

  A PLASTIC BEAR

  tried

  to eat me

  the other

  night

  Its jaw

  came

  apart,

  a sad

  attempt

  at a loud

  roar

  was made

  I suppose

  I should

  be scared

  but

  I reached out

  to it,

  to feel

  up

  the dark

  there

  It occurred

  to me

  the thing

  didn’t

  have

  a body

  I knew then

  it couldn’t stomach

  or keep

  the spine

  I splintered

  to be here

  BLOWFISH

  My parents took us to Florida.

  St. Petersburg, Florida.

  We drove there in our blue Toyota van.

  1990 was a good year for us but we didn’t know then.

  There’s a photograph of all of us inside King Kong’s fist.

  I am in the middle.

  We were supposed to pretend we were all dying but I am at the centre as

  still as ever.

  My mom is smiling the way you do when someone takes your picture. She

  was not someone who pretended anything.

  My father leans out all dramatic.

 

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