by Erin Trejo
“Don’t leave me.”
“Please,” I beg. Preacher glances around but all I see is him. He slowly nods his head and pulls the small bible from his pocket.
“Isaiah 43:2. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
Epilogue
Each verse I read, each page I turn, doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I know what my dad was talking about when he said there was more out there. I know there is. There has to be, because wherever the hell Gaia is right now, she has a piece of my heart still with her.
That night will forever be burned into my memory. It’s been months of trying to find myself. Months of trying to find out who I am and what my purpose is. I’ve come up blank every time. The only thing I find is more questions that have no answers. It isn’t far. The hand I was dealt has led me down a path of destruction and self-doubt.
In Psalms 34:18 it says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those that are crushed in spirit.” I don’t feel like I’m being saved. I feel like I’m drowning.
Laying my head back on the back of the chair, I stick the joint between my lips and inhale deeply.
“You’re gonna be high as fuck, brother.” Psycho chuckles, before sitting down next to me.
“No shit. That was the plan,” I say with a smirk. I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to think. I just want to be numb. I want every reminder of her out of my head, my heart. There’s no way that will happen. Believe me, I’ve tried day after day. She lingers, her presence still lingers. I can feel her every fucking day but there is nothing I can do about it.
“Loralai’s pregnant.” What the fuck? I turn my head to look at my boy as he blows out a breath and snatches the joint from my hand. That makes me laugh.
“You’re fuckin’ shittin’ me?” He shakes his head, inhaling another lungful.
“Nope. I’m so fucked, Preacher.”
“No, you’re not. Faith is a good baby and Loralai is one hell of a mother,” I add.
“What if somethin’ happens with this one like with Faith? I can’t deal with that shit again, brother.” Passing the joint back to me, I bring it to my lips.
“Faith was special, brother. That’s why she came early. Don’t stress yourself over that shit. This baby is gonna be fine.”
“Are you?” Silla’s voice filters in from behind us. I turn to look over my shoulder and nod at her.
“I will be.”
“We’re all here for you, Preacher.”
“I know which is why I’m gonna be okay.”
“You loved her,” she adds.
“I don’t know what love is, Silla. I know what I felt for her was deep. I know it killed a piece of me losin’ her. If that’s love, then yeah, I did. I still do. There was somethin’ about that girl that just pulled me in. I hated her but the bigger part of me didn’t. She did what she had to do. She took risks that she thought were worth takin’. I can’t blame her for that. She needed a way out and I was it.” She nods her head, coming to sit in the chair across from me. She leans forward, her elbows resting on her knees.
“I’ve learned a lot over the years of being a hitman. I took many lives and for the most part it didn’t bother me. I would do it and not even blink an eye. Then I met Grave. Things seemed different with him. I couldn’t really explain it and to be honest I didn’t really want to. I liked the feeling I had inside of me when I was with him. Nothing could compare to that but killing? That was different. I didn’t get the thrill I once did, the high. The look I’d get in my eye was gone. You had that look… For her. She was good for you and even though she isn’t here, she is. She changed you and that is something no one can take away.” Before I have the chance to say anything, she stands and walks away.
“Well that got deep,” Freak says, slapping the back of my chair.
“Heard that. Who knew Grave’s woman was so poetic?” I add with a small laugh.
“Me.” Speak of the devil. Grave drops into the chair next to Psycho while Freak takes the one Silla just left.
“You remember sittin’ like this when we were kids?” Grave asks, looking between us. We all laugh and nod. Been a long time since we were like this.
“Sharin’ feelins and shit,” Switch grumbles.
“You can join,” I add.
“The only thing I’m addin’ to this pussyfest is the fact that your old lady tried to put a fuckin’ bullet in my head.”
“What?”
“When?” Freak and I say at the same time.
“When I was takin’ her ass to the safe house. She grabbed my goddamn gun and aimed that motherfucker right at me. Said to pull over and shit. She got all shaky and pulled the goddamn trigger. Blew the truck window out but missed me.” I try not to laugh, I really do, but I can see Gaia clear as day pulling that trigger. I can picture it in my mind almost as if I were there.
“Goddamn,” I chuckle. Looking around at the guys, I know there’s a long road ahead of me and I have no fucking idea where it may lead but I know they have my back. My phone pings in my pocket and I shift to pull it free. When I see Enzo’s number, I almost delete it, but something tells me to check it. Sliding my finger across the screen a message comes to life.
Lorenzo: I have a message for you.
Me: Which is?
Lorenzo: It doesn’t make sense to me, but I know it will to you.
Me: Spit it the fuck out, Enzo
Lorenzo: “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
I’m on my feet in the matter of seconds pacing the fucking room. Tugging at my hair, this doesn’t make sense.
Me: Who is this from?
Lorenzo: Can’t answer that
Me: Don’t fuck with me Lorenzo! Who is it from?
Lorenzo: Think about it, Preacher.
“She’s not dead. Gaia isn’t dead.”
* * *
The end… for now. Want to know what happened to Gaia? Is she truly alive? Find out in the Mafia spin-off series, Deadly Love.
* * *
Preacher: https://books2read.com/u/bMPeWV
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Also by Erin trejo
Alder Academy
Dance For Me
Stay With Me
Cry For Me
Fallen Angels
Creed
Tank
Ryker
Final Ride
Royal Devils MC
Grave (Coming Soon)
Psycho (Coming Soon)
Freak (Coming Soon)
Preacher (Coming Soon)
SBMC No Cal
Declan
Mayhem
Tic
Prospect
SBMC No Cal Box Set
SBMC So Cal
Smokey
Draven
Ruger
Crow
SBMC So Cal Box set
The Dark Duet
Dark Savage
Lying Hearts
Standalone
Bound
One Truth
Dance With The Devil
Watch for more at Erin trejo’s site.
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