That I don’t feel the tension when he looks at me?
Last time I was with this guy, his hand was in my freaking pants. I’ve been trying to ignore it, but I can’t repress my fervent need to finish what we started.
Kass, wake up! He literally called you his sister an hour ago.
Remembering what he said makes me angry—furious. With everything going on, I didn’t have nearly enough time to process it, and while I know he was probably just trying to get Alex off his back, I can’t let it slide.
“So, I wanted to ask… do you often make out with your sister?” I ask as he ushers me up the stairs.
He tenses.
“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
I can’t stop myself.
“You weren’t supposed to say it.”
His poker face slips off for a second.
“I didn’t mean it. I don’t see you like that. I can’t. And believe me, I fucking tried.”
My anger fades away too fast for my liking.
“Is your mom home?” He changes the topic.
“Nope, night shifts again. And Winter’s sleeping.”
He nods and peels my arm off his shoulders when we reach my bedroom door, letting go of me to twist the knob. I could pout when he moves away, my inner self whining, “Already?” I hate how addicted I am to his touch.
“Hey, look, we’re alone! You can stop pretending like I’m just your friend’s sister now.” I scurry inside my room.
I’m not done being bitter, apparently.
“I don’t have to pretend. That’s what you are.”
“Really?” I arch an eyebrow. “So, you’re telling me you spend the night with all of your friends’ sisters? That you get into fights for all of them? That you text them all the time? Do you kiss them all? Alex’s little sister has always had a crush on you—is she next?” I snort and drop on my bed.
He focuses on every single thing in the room but me. “Look, I don’t know what came over me. That kiss was a mistake. Let’s just… put it behind us, okay?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Are we talking about the first kiss or the one where you fingered me?”
His mouth dips open.
Take that.
He clears his throat, slapping his too-cool-to-care façade back on. “I’m going to get you a glass of water. Why don’t you change? You need to sleep it off.”
Just as he’s walking to the door, it dawns on me. I need to get him out of my life. I told him I was trying to get past it. This is not getting past it.
“You never told me how you felt.”
He stops.
“I confessed my feelings to you. Your turn.”
He whisks his head back. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Kass.”
At first, I don’t either.
Until it becomes clear.
“Say you don’t like me.”
He’s startled. “What?”
“I… I think that’s what I need to get over you… For good.”
If he really doesn’t care, he needs to stop with the jealousy, the getting me alone and telling me he misses me, the hints and signs. He needs to let me go. He debates on his next move for a few seconds.
“Fine.” He blows out a breath. “I’ll say it.”
I never thought I could be satisfied and disappointed all at once. I nod, bracing myself for impact.
He steps closer.
Here it comes.
“I like you, Kass.”
My brain malfunctions.
“I like you. Of course I do. How could I not? You…” He cups my cheek, and my eyes fall closed. “This.” He traces along my cheek with his thumb. “I may be cold sometimes, but I would have to be fucking heartless not to feel it, too.”
My heart does a whole-ass backflip.
“And fuck, you’re stubborn. And blunt. But I like that.” He feeds the space between us, inches away from my mouth. “And if things were different, I’d throw you on that bed right now.”
I. Can’t. Breathe.
“W-Why don’t you?” I whisper.
“Because you’re…” He seems to forget how to speak when I’m hit by an unexpected surge of confidence and grip his collar. I see his Adam’s apple bob.
“I’m what?” I whisper.
He leans in, but seconds before we ditch the rules, he shakes his head, as though he’s just come to his senses, and pulls back.
“Because you’re Kendrick’s sister… We can never happen.”
His rejection cuts me to the bone. One second he’s letting me in, telling me exactly what I want to hear, and the next, I’m back to where we started.
One step forward, five steps back.
“Are you even listening to yourself? How can you say that after you just said you have feelings for me?”
“Don’t you get it? It doesn’t matter what I goddamn feel, Kass. We’re stuck. We can never be more than this.”
Screw it. I’ll play the eager chick if I have to.
“Why the hell not?” I blare. “What’s stopping us? Kendrick? He’d get over it.”
“No, he wouldn’t. You didn’t see how pissed he got when Blake made one, tiny comment about you that one time. You know he only agreed to let you go out with Alex because he’s a fucking saint compared to the rest of us. He made it clear. No touching his sister. That’s his only rule, Kass. And I can’t break it.”
My throat hurts.
“Well, you already did,” I remind him. “Over and over.”
Guilt crosses his face.
He heads for the door. “This conversation is pointless. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Says who?” I screech.
“Says the shit ton of alcohol running in your veins. You can’t make your own decisions right now.” He opens the door. “I’ll go get you a glass of water. Get changed.”
Stunned, I watch him thump down the stairs. Well, that went well.
Squeezing out of my dress, I throw on an oversized white T-shirt and gray shorts before letting the ache in my chest guide me out of my room. I wander around the halls aimlessly. I don’t have the slightest idea of where I’m going. Yet, my feet come to an abrupt stop in front of my brother’s room.
He’s still at Blake’s. He’d freak if he saw me in here. I twist the knob and barge in, flicking the light on and wincing at the mess. Dirty clothes all over the floor, a smelly, empty pizza box on his desk. Boys will be boys. At least his bed is made. Even gone, he’s affecting my life. He’s always been the first choice. The one who mattered. The priority. With Blake. With my fucking dad.
With everyone.
And now… It’s happening all over again with Will. In all fairness, it wouldn’t hurt for you to stop going after his friends. I know this one’s on me. I’ve made my bed. Time to lie in it.
Will’s voice echoes in my head. You can’t make your own decisions right now. He still sees me as Kendrick’s little sister. Poor, defenseless Kass. He needs to stop.
I’ll make him stop.
“What the hell are you doing?”
He’s standing in the doorway, a glass of water in hand.
“Oh, you know, just making my own decisions.”
He sighs. “Let’s get you to bed.”
“No.”
“No?” he repeats as if he misheard me.
“You heard me. I’m making the decision to stay here.” I begin shuffling through Kendrick’s stuff: the cheap trophy he won at soccer when he was a kid, the baseball he used to throw around with my dad, the math book collecting dust on his desk.
“Kass, let’s go,” Will presses.
“See? I can make my own decisions. I can choose to do this.” I pick up the trophy, chucking it to the ground. Will winces. “And this.” I give the dirty clothes on the ground a kick. “I’m free as free as a bird, Willy. The only person who can’t see that is you.”
“I said let’s go,” he scolds, venturing inside the room and seeking to catch my arm, which I throw o
ut of reach.
“I can do this.” I continue making a mess of Kendrick’s stuff. Not that my brother will notice. “And this.”
Irritated, Will slams the glass down on the nightstand and shuts the door. Probably to snap my head off without waking Winter. This time, he successfully snatches my wrist into his hand. Our bodies collide. I don’t say a word, defiance devouring me as my fingers trail down his chest tentatively.
He holds his breath.
He just said it.
He said he feels it, too. That he’s attracted to me, and I sure as hell am going to use that to my advantage.
“But, you see, the best part about making my own decisions is… that I can do this.”
I don’t wait for my common sense to kick in. For wise Kass to take the reins. I push to my tiptoes, grab his collar, and crash my mouth to his. His lips are warm, soft—welcoming. At first, I consider the absence of a rejection a good sign.
Then I realize something.
He’s not kissing me back.
I just forced myself on him. What in the fuck is wrong with me? Ashamed, I back away, babbling a squeaky “I’m so sorry.” His blue eyes are dark, unreadable. He doesn’t accept nor acknowledge my apology, staring at me in shock. I search his features for a clue as to what might be going on in that messy head of his.
Nothing.
He gives me nothing.
His reaction seems to take forever when in reality, it’s pretty quick. He shakes his head, jerks me back to him, and kisses me again.
Harder.
Deeper.
He did what?
His mouth comes down on mine roughly, blaming me for snipping his already thin resolve. This is all your fault, his lips accuse. I tried to do the right thing. Now it’s too late. Our kiss is just as heated, if not more, than the one we shared at the tree house. We barely pull away for air, reluctant to part for a split second. Is he scared, too? Scared that we’ll wake up and realize how wrong this is?
Scared that we’ll be forced to stop?
My hands climb under his shirt, my fingers shadowing his V line, as he tugs my head back to deepen the kiss. His tongue requests access and I give it to him instantly. Before I know it, I’m straddling him, legs on each side of his body, his chest flush with mine. We never stop kissing.
Until…
“Kass. Wait…” He pants. “We… We can’t.”
Certain this is where our lapse of judgment ends, I try and get off his lap, but he holds me in place. With every protest coming out of his mouth comes another kiss, another touch. He’s not letting me go.
He doesn’t want to stop.
I jerk his T-shirt over his head, in awe of his fit, toned body as I sway my hips back and forth and create friction, which, judging by his grunts, he definitely can’t ignore.
I’m practically grinding on him.
I’m sorry, who is she?
He’s hard as a rock, and my thin shorts make me feel… a lot, to say the least. I’m positive I’m in trouble when he traps my lip between his teeth and strips off my baggy shirt, undressing me so fast I barely have a chance to realize I’m in my bra in front of him for the first time.
His eyes rake over my body hungrily, and he swings me off his lap, pinning me down to the mattress and smiling at my white bralette, which displays bright, yellow smiley faces where my hard nipples stick out.
“And you blame me for seeing you as a good little girl?” he pokes fun at me. Refusing to let him mock me a second longer, I grip his dick. No warning. He sucks in a breath.
“Take it back,” I order.
“What?”
“You know what.” I tighten my hold on his length.
He smirks. “What? That you’re a good little girl?” He lures me back in to say against my mouth, “Something wrong with the truth, control freak?”
He once told me he thought I had no idea what to do in bed.
I’m going to prove him wrong.
Out for revenge, I unzip his jeans and wander a hand inside.
His eyes grow.
“Kass, you don’t have t—” he starts, but I plaster my mouth to his, gathering the courage to go all the way and grab him in his boxers.
“Holy shit.” He groans at my touch.
I push him off me, straddling his legs and yanking his boxers down to his knees in one move. He’s fully exposed now. There’s no denying it: this would hurt. When I spit on my hand, he responds with a surprised, carnal look.
I know, Will, I know.
Rest in peace, prudish Kass.
I lower my hand onto him, and he grips the blanket, a low “Fuck” escaping his lips, as he throws his head back. His reaction drives me wild. I work him slowly at first, then faster, until I feel him throb between my fingers. His eyes snap open, and he looks at me like he can’t believe what’s happening.
“Stop.” He jerks my hand away.
Fear fills me.
This is it. The part where he pushes me away.
The part where he runs.
I’m the one in disbelief when he does the polar opposite, trapping me under his body again and propping himself up as he kisses me. Except that he’s completely naked now, and I can feel every bit of him push against the fabric of my shorts.
Crap, I’m totally going to do something stupid, aren’t I?
I squirm as he kisses his way down my stomach, pulling my shorts down my legs and laying a hand on my panties the exact same way he did back at the tree house.
“Will,” I say, a bit nervous.
He looks up at me, a devilish smirk on his face, and begins placing kisses all over the inside of my thighs—payback for my teasing.
“We need to fix something.” He looks up at me, his warm breath fanning my center.
I catch on quickly.
I once told him I’d never been with someone who gave back. That Blake was so selfish in bed he never even tried. One move is all it takes. I can’t, for the life of me, wrap my mind around how quickly he slides my underwear down my legs. My brain steps aside, passing the lead over to my body. If he does this, he’s going to be the first guy to go down on me.
“W-Will, I’ve never—”
“I know.” He gives me a reassuring smile. “Which is why we’re going to do this right.”
Before I can overthink it, he wraps his arms around my thighs and spreads them apart.
“Fuck, Kass.” He grunts at the sight of me, and I flush. Finally, he leans in, his tongue meeting the sweetest of spots.
My eyes shutter closed.
Beeeeeeeeep.
That’s me going into cardiac arrest.
His tongue is slow, hesitant, at first. Until he increases the pressure and my eyes roll back.
Oh, sweet Lord, have mercy on me.
One of his fingers joins the party, squeezing inside me and curling its way to my G-spot. Then comes finger number two. I can hear my own arousal, which is a first for me seeing as Blake made me as wet as the fucking desert.
I remind myself that Winter is sleeping right down the hall when he picks up the pace, climbing up my body again and biting on the skin under my ear while his fingers speed in and out of me. It’s becoming harder and harder to be quiet. What he says next leaves me to question if he can read my mind.
“Don’t moan, baby,” he rasps into my ear. “You wouldn’t want to get caught, would you?”
It feels like I’m going to have a heart attack just from that.
He goes back down on me, cupping my breast over my bralette and tugging at the fabric like he’s this close to ripping it off me. It takes him a matter of minutes to make me shake. An overwhelming pressure builds up in my stomach.
“T-This doesn’t feel like…”
“Like when you do it?” he finishes, and I nod, embarrassed. “That’s the whole point, Kass.”
“What kind of sorcery is this?” I say, and he laughs. I search his eyes for a logical explanation, but there is nothing logical about this. Nothing logical about us.<
br />
“Give it up,” he commands.
“What?”
“Control.” His order sucker punches me. “Give it up.”
I shake my head, the pleasure growing impossible to ignore. “But I—”
“I said don’t fucking fight it.” He pumps harder, the authority in his voice sending me over the edge. I surrender to him, my stomach clenching as he twirls his tongue around me until I’m practically convulsing. Pleasure zaps through my body like thunder. “That’s it, baby. Let go,” he says, his voice thick with need.
I used to call the nickname baby cheesy, but now that it’s mine and Will is the one giving it to me, I’m keeping it. Withdrawing his fingers, he gives me a second to catch my breath, but I don’t want a second. I want him. All of him. Running on lust, I cross my legs behind his back and guide him closer. If we weren’t breathing so heavily, he’d definitely hear my pounding heart right now. He kisses me. Long and slow. But… his lips on mine aren’t all that I feel. He’s at my entrance, bare and hard.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
This is wrong.
So wrong.
I dig the heels of my feet into his back without thinking. He inches himself deeper and deeper. Then, just as he’s about to take the final step…
He stops.
His eyes snap open like he’s just come out of a trance. So many emotions fill his gaze: panic, regret, fear. All the emotions you don’t want to see in a guy’s eyes when he’s nearly inside you.
“What the fuck am I doing?” He blinks repeatedly.
I was wrong.
This.
This is the part where he runs.
“We’re… This…” He can’t bring himself to speak, moving off me and finding his boxers on the bed. He throws his clothes back on in a heartbeat, covering his face with his hand, on the verge of a breakdown.
“Will.” I falter.
“Do you… Do you realize how fucked-up this is?” he rambles, out of his mind. “We… I just… I almost had sex with my best friend’s sister on his bed. His fucking bed, Kass!”
It hits me twice as hard as it did him.
He’s right.
We are on my brother’s bed.
The truth sinks into me like a rock. This is Kendrick’s bedroom. How could I do something like this? For that one, blissful second, we forgot about the world. Forgot where we were, who we were. All that mattered was this.
Forgotten Rules: A Brother's Best Friend Romance Page 20
