by Tyler Keevil
Regardless, I needed to put it all down. I needed to get it off my chest. I have carried it for too long. But the point hasn’t only been to confess. It’s also been to compose a tribute, to you. You did not bend or break. You did not flag or fail. I envy you and admire you and idolise you. Even if I never find you, I hope you find this, or that this finds you. But the truth of the matter is, I may never know, and that you don’t need to know. My weakness couldn’t stop you. This is all in your past. Your future – the future you fought for, and earned – is wherever you are now with Gogol, living in your new home, sharing your new name, carrying on with your new life, leaving behind your old self, and this story.
acknowledgements
The support I’ve received throughout the development of this project has been tremendous, and I’m grateful and indebted to a number of people. Thank you very much to early readers Carly, Francesca, Jeremy, Katherine, Marilyn, Rebecca, and Richard; to Becky for your constant belief and guidance, and Hélène for being such a staunch advocate of this story; to Candida for your compassion and understanding, as well as Corinne, Emma, Lauren, Anna B., Dawn and all the good people of team Myriad; to Anna M., for designing another standout cover; to Blanka for the help with translation; to Vicki, a truly exceptional and gifted editor; and to Naomi, who has shown me the meaning of courage.
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about the author
TYLER KEEVIL grew up in Vancouver and moved to Wales in his twenties. He is the author of three previous novels, including The Drive, as well as the story collection Burrard Inlet. His short fiction has appeared in a wide range of magazines and anthologies, and he has won a number of awards for his writing, most notably The Missouri Review’s Jeffrey E. Smith Editors’ Prize, the Wales Book of the Year People’s Choice Award, and the Writers’ Trust McClelland & Stewart Journey Prize. He is the director of the MA in Creative Writing at Cardiff University.
Copyright
First published in 2020 by
Myriad Editions
www.myriadeditions.com
Myriad Editions
An imprint of New Internationalist Publications
The Old Music Hall, 106–108 Cowley Rd,
Oxford OX4 1JE
First printing
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
Copyright © Tyler Keevil 2020
The moral right of the author has been asserted
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN (hardback): 978–1–912408–62–7
ISBN (ebook): 978–1–912408–63–4
Designed and typeset in Palatino
by www.twenty-sixletters.com
Printed and bound in Great Britain
by Clays Ltd, Elcograf S.p.A
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