"James..." Valerie cries and I don't look at him, it's not that I don't trust him it's just that I don't want to give her any ammunition in thinking I'm stopping him from going to her. "James, you can't leave me."
Thomas calmly gets up off his chair and walks over to Lisa. Whatever he whispered into her ear seemed to have worked as she looks much calmer and she sits back down, a cunning smile on her face.
"Enough, Val! God, enough! I've left you, it's done, over with. We’re divorced and have been for a while now. You need to accept that." He's very diplomatic the way he tells her. I'd have told her to stop being a bunny boiler but, hey-ho, different strokes for different folks.
"James, you can't be serious! You've left me for that?" She points to me with such disgust. I stare back at her with an equally disgusted look.
"Stop calling her fucking names! She's not that, a whore, a slapper, slut. None of those things, she's Stefanie, the woman I love! And, Valerie, I get that you're hurt but God knows why. All you did for those fourteen years was make my life a misery and now you tell me you want me back. Is it because someone else wants me?" James pulls me closer to him. “What is it that you actually want, Valerie, because we both know that you don't want me?"
She sits beside Matthew; those fake tears of hers have dried up. “Why should you be happy? Tell me that. Why should you be happy when I'm miserable? You made me this way." She's a cow, she's vicious and by the sounds of things she never has a nice word to say about anyone.
"Valerie, no one made you marry James and no one made you stay with him. If you were that unhappy you should have left," Sylvie tells her as she wags her finger at her.
"Left him? Then what was I meant to do? Where would I have lived?"Everything is about her and what she gains from it.
"James isn't a horrible man; he would have made sure that you were secure," Thomas says calmly and, although it's probably true, the bitch doesn't deserve anything.
"Like he has now? I got the divorce papers; he never told me that it was going to happen. He left me with nothing." Here come the waterworks again. "He's left Amelia and me with nothing."
"Nothing?" James screams, I turn and face him, his face red with anger. I squeeze his thigh hoping to calm him down; he doesn't need this to get any uglier than it already is. "You have the house, you have the car, I gave you half a fucking mil and you sit there and tell me I left you with nothing."
"James," I whisper and he pulls me to him, kissing my head. "Don't get worked up, it's what she wants. She's been trying to get a rise out of us and we're giving it to her."
"I know, beautiful. She makes me so damn mad." We continue to stay close, making sure that cow face gets the message—that she can't come between us.
"What about her, what have you given her? Everything. I wasted fourteen years of my life for a poxy half a million." Such a greedy bitch.
"He's not given me anything except his love." I'm actually a hell of a lot calmer than I thought I'd be. I've realised that she means nothing to us and she can't hurt us.
"Oh yeah? What about that house of yours? Where did you get that?" Her eyes narrow dangerously, she's not finished her tirade, I just hope whatever happens by the end of it, she'll piss off and leave us alone.
"You mean the one you vandalised?" Lisa states. I smile at her, the epitome of serene, legs crossed on the chair, she looks comfy.
"I didn't vandalise anything. How dare you accuse me of such things, like I'm a commoner? I'm not her; I don't do those sorts of things." She nods her head in my direction and I leave her be, I'm not arguing with her anymore. "That house has got to be worth a bit, how the hell could she afford it, if you didn't pay for it?"
"If you must know, being an escort is a great paying job. I bought my house about nine months ago. It's beautiful, isn't it?" Her face begins to get red from the anger; she’s so easy to wind up.
"It really is," James says and I don't even need to see him to see that he's smiling; I can hear it in his tone.
"Well, I have to see this house. Where about is it?" Sylvie asks.
"Oh, it's in Camden," I tell her with a smile. I love Camden; it's been my home since I was a baby.
"Oh, I love the market," Lisa cries as she claps.
"I used to but then I met someone there and they soured it." I give Valerie a pointed look.
"She seems to do that a lot. The next time I’m in Camden, we have to meet up," Lisa tells me happily as she pulls out her phone from her pocket. “Here, put your number in that and call yourself that way you'll have my number too."
She doesn't get up out of the chair instead she passes it to Sylvie who then passes it to me. I quickly type my number in with everyone watching me. God, it's gone so quiet. I ring my phone and hand hers back to Sylvie.
"Great, now that's sorted. Matthew, you came here saying you wanted to explain yourself but so far all you've done is say you never intended it to happen." Sylvie stares at him. “Look, Matthew, you need to explain why you thought sleeping with Valerie was a good idea?"
He sighs. “Honestly, it never was a good idea. It must have been two years ago now, I was at a bar and I bumped into Val; we got talking and we carried on drinking. One thing led to another and we ended up back at my place." He looks James in the eye. “I was wracked with guilt, I knew that I had to tell you. I wanted to tell you but how do you tell your brother that you've slept with his wife?"
Valerie is keeping her head down; she's wringing her hands together. She's nervous; it's not something I've seen from her before.
"Days went past and I couldn't tell you, no matter how hard I tried and then Valerie turned up at my door, wearing nothing but her underwear under her trench coat."
"Ugh, how cliché?" Lisa moans and I bite my lip to stop the laughter.
"She told me she'd tell everyone that I had slept with her, how I had forced her," he bites out. "So, I slept with her again and again. I finally put a stop to it only for her to turn up pregnant." He rolls his eyes at her; no doubt the bitch did it on purpose.
"Valerie, how could you?" Thomas asks, disappointment seeping out of him.
"What? I needed someone and Matthew was there." She shrugs as though it's no big deal. "He gave me what I wanted and I knew that I had to do something to keep him."
"Why didn't you just come to me?" James asks Matthew, he sounds hurt that he didn't come to him.
"And you would have what? Believed me? Come on, James, we all know what a manipulative cow she is. She would have spun some tale to make you all believe her." Matthew is right, Valerie is a bitch and by the looks of things makes up tales to get her own way.
"Yes, I would have believed you. You're forgetting I was married to her for over a decade. I know exactly what she's like."
Valerie starts laughing. “Yes, Valerie the big bad wolf.”
"I'm sorry, James, I truly am," Matthew tells him, everyone ignoring Valerie's outburst.
"Okay, Matthew, what are we going to do about getting you full custody of your daughter?" Damn, Sylvie isn't playing. I would have had this conversation alone when Valerie wasn't around.
"You're not taking my daughter," she shouts as she gets to her feet. "I won't let any of you take her." She seems to love her daughter, but then again, she's a great actress. "Matthew, we're leaving." She doesn't wait for him to respond; she storms out of the house expecting him to follow.
"Matthew, you can't let that woman keep that poor child. Especially after everything she's done to James and to you!" Sylvie begins to cry. "I don't want my grandchild to be hurt."
"Mum, don't cry, it's already in the works." He looks out the window. "Look, I've got to go, I'll call you later." He rushes out of the house after Valerie.
"James, we have to help him. I don't sleep well knowing that Amelia is with her. I can't." Sylvie's crying harder now and even though I understand where she's coming from I hate that she's asking James to help especially after everything the two of them put him through.
James nods ju
st as I knew he would. “I'll see what I can do, Mum."
"Thank you." She walks away, pulling a tissue out from her cardigan.
"Come on, I'm cooking dinner. Lisa, I could use your help." Thomas pulls himself up off the chair and walks towards the kitchen, Lisa following behind him.
"How mad are you?" James asks once we have the room to ourselves.
"Livid, but right now we're at your parents’ house so we're not doing this here." I take a deep breath not wanting to add anymore tension to what's been a shit fest.
"Okay, beautiful. Tonight, we'll talk." At least he acknowledges he's done wrong.
"No more lies...” He goes to say something, but I hold my hand up. “Omitting something is the same thing in my eyes. It stops. I want the whole truth and if I find out you've lied or withheld anything from me... it stops, James, I can't do that."
"Tonight, I'll tell you everything. I swear." He kisses the top of my head and I lean into him. No matter how mad I am, I still love him.
Chapter Ten
The car ride home was a joke, neither of us spoke. Me, well, I wasn't sure what to say to him. I didn't want to have the conversation about his ex in the car. And him, well, I think he's worried about my reaction. He kept glancing at me but said nothing, it was awkward and I hated it. We've been home for over half an hour and I've come straight upstairs to run a bath. I need to work out what I want to say to him. I don't want to argue, I just need to know what has happened and why he never told me.
I sink into the bath, loving the boiling hot water. This bath tub is amazing—it's huge, you could probably fit three people in here easily and you'd all have loads of room. I close my eyes and lean my head back. This to me is utter bliss, there's no better way to unwind than lying in the bath.
I don't know how long I'm in here but there's a knock on the door. “Beautiful, are you okay?" He sounds worried.
"Yeah, I'm okay. What's wrong?" I shout as I push myself into a standing position.
"You've been in there for almost an hour now, love."
Shit, that long? "I'm getting out now." I quickly get out and grab a towel to throw around me, my stomach starts to rumble as I pull the plug. I call out to him, "Are you hungry?"
"Yeah, beautiful, but we've got to talk first." Even with a locked door between us he sounds worried. He's not sure what my reaction is going to be. One thing I know for sure is, it won't ever be like Valerie's.
Opening the door, he's standing outside it waiting for me. I lean up on my tiptoes and give him a kiss, wanting to alleviate any doubts he has.
"How about you start talking while I put my jammies on?"
"Okay, beautiful." We walk towards my bedroom and he begins to talk. “I never intended on telling anyone about what happened between Val and me. I told Matt in confidence and obviously never thought he'd tell anyone." He looks uncomfortable telling me this and a part of me wants to tell him to stop, that he doesn't have to do it. But for us to work, he has to be open and honest. I let him talk as I begin to dry myself off.
"It started with a slap here or there, I didn't think anything of it. You heard the way she talks, it was constant, all the time and she never stopped. Anytime I told her to shut the hell up she'd hit me. What was I meant to do? Hit her back? I'm not going to lie, when it got bad I thought about it, but I never would do it."
"Of course not!" I tell him as I pull on my pyjama bottoms, he doesn't need to tell me that he wouldn't hit her, I know that.
He gives me a smile and sits on the bed. “The slapping, punching, and the kicking I could deal with, she's tiny and, yes, it can hurt but it's not that bad.”
"Oh my God, James!" I give him a narrowed look. “It is bad. Just because she's a woman, it doesn't give her the right to put her hands on you!" I feel so angry that he doesn't think that it was that bad.
"Beautiful." He smiles at me and those big deep brown eyes of his hold so much love for me that it fills my heart with warmth. "I know, but in the context of what she has done, it wasn't that bad."
I shake my head pulling on my vest top. I'm not going to say anything because if that's not bad, I'm dreading to find out what was. Especially after the way he's brushed off his dislocated shoulder. He acts as though it's not affecting him but it's been almost a week, surely it should be hurting him still? I sit on the bed opposite him and pull my pillow down onto my lap, holding it to me I wait for him to continue.
"She broke my nose once; she threw a glass at me." I gasp. What the fuck? "I was lucky, it bounced off the bridge of my nose and onto the sofa, it didn't smash," he tells me as though it's a normal everyday occurrence.
"Why did she do it?" I ask. I'm not even sure I want the answer.
He gives me a sad smile, one that twists my heart. “I was sat watching the footy, I can't even remember who was playing or even what the score was. She asked me a question, God knows what it was, but I didn't answer. By this stage we were hardly talking, so I wasn't expecting a question and I was watching the match so I didn't hear."
"So, she what, picked up a glass and threw it at you?" I ask disgustedly. Who on earth does that?
"Yeah, she's actually got a good aim," he quips and it's nothing to joke about.
"James, why are you so nonchalant about this?"
"Beautiful, you have to realise that when Val and I were together I wasn't who I am now. Hell, most of the time I stayed quiet and let her do as she pleased. I was withdrawn because there was nowhere for me to turn, and when I did eventually turn to someone, he ended up sleeping with her. So, I pushed it aside and made light of it. It sounds fucking stupid and idiotic to say this but it's how I survived."
"Stupid and idiotic? Why the hell would you say that?"
He gives me a look. One that makes me stare back at him with raised eyebrows. He's giving me a look that says don't be stupid, you know why. “James?” I ask, wanting to know why the hell he said that.
He sighs. “Come on, Steffy, a woman beating her husband? It doesn't happen that way. If people found out what would they say?”
“That your ex-wife is a bitch and should be locked up.”
He reaches out and lays his hand on my ankle. “You are pure light in a dark world,” he tells me cryptically. “They won't think that, they'll think what Matt thought.” I tense at the mention of Matthew’s name. “They'll think that I've obviously done something to her, that I'm weak for letting my wife hurt me.”
“Matthew said that?” My tone is low as I’m in shock. What the hell is wrong with him? That is his brother he was talking about. James nods looking ashamed. “Weak? Let me tell you what weak is. Weak would have been to beat that bitch to a pulp because we both know you could have. Weak would have been to ignore someone who came to you in confidence and all you did was mock them. Weak would have been to not tell me about any of this and pretend it never happened.” I throw my pillow aside and crawl over to him. My hands roaming his face as I search his eyes for something to tell me he gets what I'm saying.
“Beautiful, you're too good for me. You know that? After everything I've put you through you're still behind me one hundred percent.” He looks at me in awe and I begin to blush.
“You aren't weak, you're far fucking from it. To me you're the strongest man I know. Don't ever be ashamed of surviving. Don't you dare feel ashamed that you never raised your hand in violence.” I lean forward and kiss his lips. His hands go around my waist as he clutches me to him. “I don't want you to go through it all, but I would like to know what was the worst that happened.” My tone gentle, hoping that I've not pushed him too far.
He lifts his top and shows me the silvery white mark on his back; it looks like a stretch mark but on closer inspection it's a scar. “About four years ago, she came home crying. She'd been caught fucking her boss by his wife, and the wife wanted her gone from the company. She wasn't upset that she'd lost her job, she was crying because she lost her fuck buddy.” He pulls his top down and his arms go around my waist again. “The wife had ru
ng me, she thought I ought to know. So, when Val got home I was mad as hell. It’s bad enough that I know about her affairs but for them to be made public.” He shakes his head. “I lost my head, she wanted to be comforted but instead I called her a tramp.” He's actually ashamed that he called her names. “I was brought up to be the perfect gentleman. Never to treat a woman with disrespect.”
My heart is pounding as I wait for him to tell me what she did to him. “She went into the kitchen, she was bawling crying and I let her cry. I couldn't stand to look at her. Funny, after everything she's done her infidelity is what I hate the most.”
It is weird but I'm no one to judge. Different things hit different chords with us. For me lying is the massive no-no, but then again, I've forgiven James for his lies.
“She came back into the living room, she was quiet as a mouse. Not even a sniffle out of her, I didn't pay much attention to it or her until I saw her in the mirror we had in the sitting room. She was holding a knife up high like she was about to stab me. She did get me but only a little. I bled like a pig but thankfully it wasn't too bad.”
Tears fall from my eyes. I hurt so much for him right now. “James…” I choke out. He was so lucky he spotted her otherwise we might not be here.
“It wasn't the worst pain I’d felt or the most damage she's done but it was her face. I can still see that expression. So full of hate and determination. She wanted to kill me and if I hadn't seen her, I probably would have been killed.”
“Why didn’t you tell the cops, get help?” I whisper, I’m in shock, truly horrified at what he’s been through.
“It’s over now okay?” he says ignoring my question.
I sit on his lap. “I hate her, James, more than I hate anyone in this world. I never thought anyone would overtake the hatred I have for my dad but she's managed it. I swear that if she was here right now I'd beat the crap out of her. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that.”
“Steffy, I had to endure that so I could find you. Baby, you are so worth it.” He's killing me. I love him so much, and he may think he’s too good for me but I know that he was made for me.
The Scandals of Life Page 9
