“Well, don’t. I never slept with any of them nor did I even kiss them, so you need to get over it.”
“I know you never; the mind is a dangerous place.” He’s being patronizing and I hate it.
“I’m not Valerie, I wouldn’t cheat.” My voice is a harsh whisper.
His face pales. “I never thought that. That hasn’t crossed my mind. Not once.”
“Then, why are you mad?”
He shakes his head and I’m confused. “I don’t want anyone to know that I hired you.”
Shock runs through me. “Oh, you’re ashamed of me.”
“No, not of you, I’m ashamed of myself. I was married and everyone will know that. They will know that I hired you and think I cheated on Val.”
“Firstly, half of them hire escorts and most sleep with them. Nobody has the right to judge you at all. Besides, they all know already. I’ve had the whispers and the looks already. Anyone who does judge you, tell them to fuck off. So, get dressed, we’re going out to get some new clothes.” I lean over and give him a chaste kiss on the lips.
He walks over to the wardrobe and looks back at me. “How the hell did I get so lucky, huh? You’re one in a million, Stef.”
I smile at him. “That I am, and you’re the luckiest man in the world.”
He laughs at me but his eyes are shining bright with happiness. “Marry me?”
I choke on my own spit, and start coughing. “I’m sorry, what?”
He’s still smiling. “Marry me, Stef. I want you to be my wife.”
“James?” Tears are streaming down my face, I’m in shock.
“Stef, I love you more than anything in this world, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So, will you marry me?” He’s staring at me, waiting for me to answer. This is the first time that I’ve ever seen his eyes hold fear, he’s scared I’m going to reject him. “Steffy… beautiful, what do you say?”
“Hell yes!” I scream and hop off the bed and waddle over to him. He’s the one that's in shock now. “You’re stuck with me now; you’re never getting rid of me,” I tell him throwing my arms around him.
“Beautiful, there was never a chance of that happening.” He kisses the top of my head as he usually does.
I let out a squeak as he lifts me into his arms and walks me over to the bed. “Love you so much, beautiful.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Walking into the reception was nerve-wracking. Especially after what James said last month, I keep feeling eyes on me. My heart is beating out of my chest, I'm so nervous. We've yet to talk to anyone and I think once we do I'll calm down a bit.
“James, Stef.” I hear the husky voice calling us and a smile forms. God, I'm glad there's someone here I can talk to.
“Natalie.” James turns before I can. “How are you?”
“Ooh, look at you all prim and proper!” She's mocking him and he laughs. You can never be mad at Nat, she's cheeky but James, like me, is protective of her. “Stef, you look amazing as per usual,” she tells me as soon as I turn.
I look at her and she can talk, she's dressed to the nines. Her long black hair which is usually pin straight is curly and she looks sexy. Her blue eyes are sparkling, she looks happy; really happy.
“Nat, you look really beautiful.” She beams at my compliment. “You seem happy. How did things go with Richie?” They were meeting up last month and I’ve texted her about it, but she’s evaded any questions about it. This is the first time I’ve seen her for more than five minutes since that day at the market.
James places his arm around my back, he's listening intently to our conversation.
“We're meeting up later in the week and we'll see what happens.” She’s not going to tell me? I stare at her and she sighs “Fine, you nosy cow, we've been texting a lot.”
I squeal a little on the inside, they've obviously had a discussion. Natalie wouldn't be this happy if she didn't know what was happening in his head. I’m happy that she’s happy but a part of me is still wary. It’s not been that long since he told Jess he loved her. I just hope he lied.
“What’s wrong with you? You look as though you’re about to faint. Are you okay?” She’s over by my side in seconds.
James laughs and I glare at him. I would have been fine if he hadn’t said all that shit last month. “She’s nervous because I told her that I hated that she had clients who are my friends.”
I scoff. “Oh no, you had a hissy fit about it.” I wave my hand dismissively. “Talk about winding me up. You’re perfectly fine and now I’m shitting it.”
“Oh my God! You got engaged!” Nat cries pointing at my ring, and people start looking over at us. I can feel my face start to heat. Nat’s eyes narrow. “When?”
“Last month,” James says and the fucker walks off leaving me to face the wrath of Natalie.
“Before you get upset, no one knows. He proposed last month and I said yes and then nothing more was said about it. I honestly thought it was a spur-of-the-moment thing until today when he came home with this ring.” I flex my fingers, it still feels weird wearing it. “I wasn't sure that tonight was the right night to wear it but I couldn't not wear it. You know?”
Her soft smile tells me she understands. “Of course, you're happy, fuck what anyone else says.”
I look around and see a few people still looking at us. “I'm worried that someone's going to say something. If they do I don't think I'll be able to keep quiet.”
“You and James aren't some sort of scandalous couple, Stef. You're in a loving and committed relationship.”
I laugh. “James and I have caused quite a bit of scandal. His mum told him that a few of her friends were talking about us. I’ve had the looks and the whispers already but this is the first time we’re at one of these events together since it’s come out.”
Nat pulls a face. “Sad bastards! Come on, Stef, it's pathetic to think you’re their scandal. You'd think they would have had some sort of scandal in their lives. Who hasn't? Tell them to get off that high horse.”
She's right, everyone has something scandalous on their lives and I need to let whatever they say roll off my shoulders.
Her eyes widen. “Oh, Stef, you should write a book about your life, call it the Scandals of Life. I have no doubt that will be a bestseller; your life is something out of a soap. You could be in Eastenders.” She thinks she’s hilarious.
“Who are you here with?” I change the subject, hoping she'll follow suit.
“Donovan, he's a new client and I'm the lucky one to pop his cherry. He’s a friend of Gary’s and I was personally asked for.” She rolls her eyes. He mustn't be very nice, although Nat does attract the weird ones. She groans. “Oh God, here he comes.”
“Natalie, darling. I've been looking all over for you.” He’s all over her like a rash, sucking on her earlobe while in public. “Oh, you've found a friend.”
He's very ignorant in the way he talks. It's almost as if he thinks I'm beneath him. Tosser.
“Donovan, meet Stefanie. My fiancée,” Natalie tells him running her finger along the buttons of his shirt. “Stefanie and I love to share,” she tells him seductively coming to stand beside me.
I want to laugh at the horrified look on Donovan’s face.
“But she's pregnant.” His eyes widen as Nat begins to rub my bump.
“Yeah, we're due in five weeks.” Nat beams and I've to cross my legs so I don't piss myself.
He visibly gulps. “Oh eh. Congrats. I'm sorry, darling, but I've just realised that I’m meant to be on a conference call in thirty minutes.” He turns and walks as fast as he can out of the building.
Nat and I start laughing. “Oh God, I can't breathe.” She gasps as she tells me and I'm dying to use the loo. “Shit, Pen’s going to kill me.”
“I have to use the loo,” I tell her as I turn, she starts laughing again and she's really not helping.
As soon as I'm in the toilet I rush for the stall. “Stef, are we doing the right thing
? I mean they've hurt us before? What says they’re not going to do it again?” She sounds so vulnerable and I don't know if I have the right answer for her. “Stef?”
I wait until I’m finished and I begin to wash my hands. “I don’t know the answer, Nat. Yes, they’ve hurt us, but sometimes we need to give them a second chance. Some may call us stupid and call us fools but if we never tried, we’d always regret it. Saying that, you also need to know when enough is enough.”
“I feel as though giving him another chance is foolish, that it makes me vulnerable and I hate it, Stef. I hate that feeling.” She looks lost; there isn’t anything I can do to help. This decision is hers to make. I wouldn’t sway her; it’s not what friends do. We support each other. Encourage and pick one another up when we fall.
“You need to follow your heart. What is it telling you?”
She turns so her back’s against the sink and crosses her arms. “It tells me that I have really strong feelings for him and I want him. How stupid is that? I mean we had sex once. How does that even happen?”
“Babe, you can fall in love with just a look. Think about it, think hard and envision what you want. Try. Maybe you’ll get hurt; maybe you’ll find the love of your life. Or maybe you’ll regret trying.” There’s some food for thought. “Come on, before James sends out a search party.”
Walking out of the bathroom she links her arm through mine. “You’re right, I’m going to give him one chance. If he screws up, I may get hurt but as you said, at least I tried.”
“Yeah, and if he messes up, kick his arse to the curb. We don’t need men in our lives to make us happy and as long as you remember that you’ll be fine.” I watch James walk towards me. What I’ve told her is true, I don’t need James to be happy. I can make my own happiness. And though I love him and being with him makes me happier, he’s not the “be all” and “end all” to my happiness.
“Yes, I’m not a pushover. He fucks up, that’s it, he’s gone.” She’s adamant. “Where are the magnificent couple anyway? I’ve yet to see them. I want to congratulate them before I leave.”
“I don’t know, I’ve not seen them either.” Frowning, I take a look around, where are they?
“Who are you looking for?” James asks walking up to us.
“The happy couple. Have you seen them?” Nat asks hopefully.
“Yeah, they’ll be making the rounds soon; they’re making the last-minute arrangements to the dinner. They’re dying to see the both of you. Seems you two have made a lasting impression on them.”
“What’s not to love huh?” Nat jokes. “So when is the big day?”
“Nope, I don't want a big thing. I’m happy with the registry office.” I watch as both of their faces fall, neither of them should play poker. “Look, James has already been married; he’s been there and done it. If we were to do the big church thing, I’d hate it. None of my family would be there and I’d miss my mum like crazy so when we do get married it’s not going to be a big thing. Okay?”
“Okay, but I still get to be a bridesmaid though, right?” She’s beaming from ear to ear; she’s happy for me and I love her to bits. “What about a beach wedding? That would be amazing. Have a holiday and a wedding all rolled into one, just you and James and a few close friends. What more could you want?”
I beam back at her. “I love that idea, no fuss, just us and friends.”
We hear a clinking noise, and us being nosy, we look in the direction it’s coming from. In the entrance, is the happy couple. Their smiles wider than I’ve ever seen before. They look blissfully happy. “Ladies and gentlemen, we thank you for joining us this evening. We also thank you for accepting who we are,” Tim announces, tears so evident in his eyes. His voice full of emotion, he’s thinking of his parents who aren’t here. “Please, enter the dining room and we’ll eat.”
The milling crowd begin to descend on the dining room, Tim and Gary greeting every single guest as they do so.
“Oh, you two are just divine. You sure do make our reception glamorous,” Gary tells us, pulling me into a hug.
“Thanks, I try my best,” James quips and this is a side that I saw when we first started to “date,” when he was still married to Valerie.
“While you look scrumptious, James, I was talking to my favourite girls,” Gary tells him as he gives Natalie a hug and a kiss on her cheek.
Tim holds me at arm’s length giving me a once-over. “You look gorgeous pregnant. Are you happy?”
“So happy. You?” I don't need to ask, it's written all over his face.
“Stef, for the first time in my life I'm happy.” Tears threaten as he looks over to Gary who's talking to someone I don't know, but James must as they're huddled together talking.
“Earth to Stefanie.” I turn back to him and see his eyebrow raised and a smirk on his lips. “I asked if you knew the sex yet?”
“No, we’re waiting until the birth to find out. A surprise...” I'm a liar but thankfully Tim doesn't pull me on it. “So, what's it like being a married man?”
“The best feeling in the world.”
“It suits you,” I tell him honestly; the happiness he has is something everyone should have.
“Darling, you should try it.” He winks at me before entering the dining room.
A hand grazes my back and tingles spread through my body as James whispers in my ear, “You want to get married on the beach?” I nod, unsure I'm able to say anything at this moment. “Okay, beautiful, the beach it is.”
“God, I love you,” I whisper back to him.
“Not as much as I you.” I turn to face him and his lips are instantly on mine.
“God, get a room,” Nat moans but she's smiling, we’re all happy and I'm praying it stays this way.
Epilogue
Two years later.
The past two years have been a roller coaster, that’s for sure. Two days after giving birth to Carter, Adam turned up at my door. I was shocked and wary at first. My brother’s a cocky fucker, but the more I got to know him, I realised it’s a front he puts on. He’s actually really down to earth and we get on great now. I'm grateful to have him in my life.
I finally released my book. No, I didn’t release the one I wrote about Jess, nor did I take Nat’s advice and release the book about my life. Instead I wrote a book about Pen. She has read it, she absolutely adores it. She got the very first copy and demanded I sign it. She helped me every step of the way, to knowing the ins and outs of the club scene and each scene she does and how to do them properly. I was so nervous to give her the unedited copy, but I shouldn't have been. She smiled at me when she handed it back and said, “perfect, every aspect is perfect. The only criticism I have is you’ve made me too soft.”
Knowing that she loved it made me cry. It gave me the last bit of courage I needed to publish it. Besides James, Pen, and myself, only Nat knows who the book is about. I kept Pen’s name out of it and used a made-up name. It sold sixteen thousand copies so far and I’m still in shock at how well it has been received.
Valerie hasn’t been seen since the day Matthew went to the Lake District and got her to sign over Amelia to him. Matthew has found out since that she and her sugar daddy have moved to the South of France. Posh twats. She didn’t go ahead with the abortion, turns out she was a lot further along than she thought. She gave birth to a girl, and Matthew is now her guardian too. Sandra is Amelia’s twin; those beautiful girls are going to be so happy with Matthew. Seeing them together is something that makes me smile. Matt made the decision to adopt Sandra as he never wanted Amelia to not know her family. I think that he’s remarkable and it’s clear to see what a devoted dad he is.
Matt has finally come clean and said that he’s a bisexual and that he has found someone he truly loves. I can’t wait to meet this mystery person. He’s taking things slowly. They’ve been dating for about five months now, but he’s not introduced anyone of his family including Amelia or Sandra. He wants to make sure that they’re all on the
same page first.
I smile as I take my first step onto the sand, feeling the grains between my toes and the sun on my back. This is more than I could have ever asked for. Natalie was right; having our wedding here in Spain in the summer is magical. Looking out, down towards the beach, I see James standing at our makeshift altar waiting on me. His eyes on me as I slowly make my way down to him.
The funny thing is, I wanted a small private wedding, but as soon as all our friends and James’ family heard about our plans, it turned into so much more. Walking down the aisle, I pass my brother, Adam, who gives me a wink. James’ family; Amelia & Sandra included. Saff and Damien, Pen, Grant, Nat, and the whole of Jess’ family. Yes, that includes Owen, but he brought a date and I couldn’t be happier. He and Katy seem to be intense and happy. We all see a side to Owen we never thought we’d see again—we see his happy, fun-loving side. The one we all thought had been lost when he went to prison.
As I reach the altar I see Nat putting on a brave face, she’s hurting and has been for a while. Seeing everyone around her loved up and happy has to hurt. She and Richie dated for a month before he went back to Ireland. He hadn’t spoken to her in over a year until last week when he messaged her out of the blue asking if they could meet up. She was not happy and told him where to go. She’s told me that she’s not letting him back into her life again. He’s hurt her too many times now.
Jess, my girl, is the happiest I’ve ever seen her. After everything that woman has been through, to see her come out the other end happy and in love is everything. It gives hope to everyone. Emme is my flower girl and this is her third time being one, yes that’s right third. Saff was first, then Hunter proposed to Jess and they got married at the registry office a month later with just their family present. I was lucky enough to be there. I swear there wasn’t a dry eye in the house watching those two finally get married.
As I reach James, I take him in, from his sharp suit and bare feet to his wide smile and watery eyes. This man is everything; I love him with all my heart. He is the best dad to Carter. There’s not a day we go by without knowing how much he loves us.
The Scandals of Life Page 19
