by R. J. Lewis
“But Mom, you made it seem like we could come back from anything.”
She’s quiet for a moment before saying, “Perhaps.”
Now we’re both not talking.
I slide off the bed and walk to the large window, peering out. It’s dark and gloomy out. The city is spectacular from up here.
I can hear my mother sigh, and I sigh, too. I don’t want to argue with my mom, and I certainly don’t want to make her feel like a shitty parent.
“Mom,” I begin, “I thought I knew it all. I wasn’t easy, I know that.”
“Neither was I,” she finally admits. “I had too many men around, didn’t I?”
“Not anymore. You’ve been with Shawn for many years now.”
“Yeah, but…I could have done better.”
She could have.
She blows out a breath. “Ivy, please tell me the truth, are you with another man?”
I run a hand over my face. “Sort of. I don’t know. I guess?”
“You guess?”
“Yeah.”
“Have you been intimate with him?”
“I haven’t slept with him…like all the way.” Oh, God. This is so awkward.
“Oh, Ivy.”
“I know how it looks, but honestly, Mom, he’s different.”
“Silly girl,” she admonishes.
“He treats me right.”
“It’s not about him, Ivy. I’m not concerned about him right now. I’m concerned about you and everything you've been through.”
I swallow back my emotion. “I’m okay, though. I’m so happy getting out of there, Mom. It got really bad in the end. Now…I’m free, you know? I can actually breathe, and Aidan, the guy I’m living with, he’s…been everything.”
She listens quietly, not saying a word. I don’t know if this is worse than her going off on me.
“You must take it slow,” she finally says. “Ivy, you might feel like you’re okay, but that could be because you’re burying it all in, do you understand?”
“I’m really not, though, Mom. I’m happy.”
She makes a sound like she isn’t convinced. It’s not my job to convince her, though. She will see it as time goes on.
The door of the bathroom opens, and Aidan reappears. I glance at him, taking in all his naked glory. He moves to the bed and takes a seat facing me. His elbows settle on his knees, and he watches me, looking over my body with a hungry look on his face. My body tingles from his attention. I’m pulsing with red-hot need.
“I have to go, Mom,” I force out.
“We aren’t finished discussing this,” she responds, sounding unimpressed. “You will pick up my calls from now on.”
“I will.” I’ll say anything to her right now just to get off the phone.
“Okay.”
“Bye, Mom.”
“Ivy,” she quickly says before I hang up. “I am glad you’re out of there. I hope you’re safe.”
“I am,” I assure her, staring Aidan in the eyes. “I’m safe.”
“Talk soon.”
I hang up and walk over to him, stopping just before him. He buries his face under my shirt, pressing kisses along my belly and hips. Then he pulls me down so I’m straddling him.
“Everything okay?” he asks, palming my breast from under my shirt, looking at me now.
“Yep,” I answer. “My mom found out I left.”
“Is she being supportive?”
“In her own way.”
He lifts my shirt and takes a nipple in his mouth. The second he sucks on it, I feel a bolt of pleasure run through me. My fingers rake through his hair as I let out a soft moan.
“You finished eating, temptress?”
“Mm,” I let out, shutting my eyes as he sucks at my skin.
“What do you want? My mouth again or my hand?”
I want his cock, but he’s been holding back. “Both.”
He turns us around and lays me flat on my back. He shoves the plate of food aside and slides me up the mattress so I’m in the center. Then he covers my entire body with his own and kisses me tenderly.
“Grip your pillow tight,” he says against my lips. “I’m going to build you up so slowly, Ivy. You’re going to be sinking your nails into my scalp, begging me to come, but I’m not going to listen.”
“This sounds like a terrible game.”
He slips his tongue between my lips. “No, baby, it’s not, because when you eventually do come, it’s going to feel like every orgasm you’ve ever had before was a lie.”
I kiss him back, eyeing him curiously. “Will it be better than your cock?”
Now he makes a sound in the back of his throat. “Mm, no, nothing will feel better than that.”
He doesn’t give me time to respond. He slides down my body, spreads my legs wide and buries his face where I need him most.
Twenty-Three
Ivy
These last couple weeks have been a blur.
It’s been a cycle: by day, I’m cutting people’s hair, and by night, I’m getting worshipped by Aidan. I slip into his bed like clockwork. I usually wake up to him pressed against my back, his hand already between my legs, sensually massaging me. Is it bad that he hasn’t gotten up at his specified 4am time to get ready for work? Am I a bad influence for naughty Mr West? His phone usually blows up long before I’m even out of bed and getting ready for work.
This Steven guy isn’t slowing down, either. He’s been calling Aidan’s phone tirelessly, sometimes in the middle of the night. There’s conflict there, and I’m curious, but I’m not about to ask Aidan about it. He doesn’t seem all that bothered by it.
I sit up in bed now, watching Aidan get dressed. Is it odd I find a man putting on a suit so fucking hot? He knows I’m watching him. It’s nothing new, I’m just creepy that way. He smirks at me in response.
Today’s suit is deep grey with the most piercing light blue tie. He’s fitting his cuff links when I say, “You’re breathtaking, Aidan West.”
It’s a compliment come out of nowhere and spoken in the sincerest way. I couldn’t stop myself, though. Aidan stills in surprise as his eyes meet mine.
My cheeks redden. I feel suddenly shy. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re not used to compliments.”
His lips spread in a soft smile. “I’m not used to your compliments.”
I tilt my head to the side, staring at him right on back even though every inch of me is buzzing from his attention. “I always compliment you.”
“You compliment my cock.”
“If you think I’m complimenting your cock now, wait until it’s inside me.”
He chuckles and resumes his cufflinks, strolling to his closet. He disappears inside.
“Aidan,” I call out.
“Yeah?” he responds, emerging out of his closet with a pair of posh looking leather shoes.
I pause a second, lips parted. Then I build the courage to ask, “When will that happen?”
He takes a seat on the light blue accented armchair in the corner. He fits his shoes on, staring up at me thoughtfully. He doesn’t immediately answer. I wait for him, arms around my knees. The sheet keeps slipping around me, but he’s seen every inch of me, so it doesn’t bother me.
“When the time is right, we’ll know,” he finally answers.
That’s a weird answer. He ties his laces and stands up. As I mull over his answer, he disappears back into his walk-in closet. When will the time be right exactly? Is he reserved for a reason? I frown, not understanding. We’ve been very physical. He’s happy to spend an hour just kissing me, warming me up.
He’s fitting a watch around his wrist when he steps out.
“I’m clean,” I blurt out.
He stills again – twice I’ve done that to him in the span of ten minutes. “What?”
“I’m clean,” I repeat, shrugging through the awkwardness. “In case you’re wondering, I checked myself right afte
r I found out about Derek cheating on me. I was at the clinic the very next day. We weren’t…we weren’t intimate for a very long time anyway, and I wasn’t overly concerned, but I had to make sure. I haven’t been with anyone since, and I’m on birth control, so there’s no risk of anything happening.”
My mouth is running, and I can’t stop myself. I let out a long breath when I’m done, feeling embarrassed.
Aidan’s brows come together, and he takes a few moments to process my word vomit. Then he comes to me and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. His arms come around me and he pulls me to him. The sheet falls away from me, and before I know it I’m naked and over his knees.
“You think I’d fuck your pussy with my tongue if I worried you were carrying anything?” he asks me then, sounding stern.
“I’m just saying –”
He smacks my ass hard and I jump in shock.
“Stop.”
SMACK.
“Saying.”
SMACK.
“Stupid.”
SMACK.
“Shit.”
SMACK.
He rubs my ass now, and I can’t imagine how red it must look. It’s burning and I’m shocked with myself because I let out these low moans every time he smacked me. It hurt, too. The smug jerk wasn’t gentle, and yet…I feel the most divine pulse between my legs.
It’s like he knows. I swear, he does. His hand is between my legs and his fingers are pushing inside me. I’m wet. I groan in pleasure as he fucks me slowly with that hand, rubbing my clit and working me in that masterful way of his.
“Fuck, Aidan,” I whisper, bucking my hips. “I can’t…”
I can’t think.
I can’t fight it.
My mouth is wide open and I’m going to scream from the pleasure.
“You can’t what, Ivy?” he presses, voice low. “Can’t take my pleasure anymore?”
“No.”
“You want me to stop?”
“No!” I suck in a breath, panicked at the thought of him leaving me hanging. He pushes deeper inside me, and I shudder. “Oh, my God, sir.”
“Mm,” he sounds satisfied as he continues to stroke me, torturing me with his touches. “I like when you’re about to come, Ivy. You’ll do anything for it, won’t you?”
I groan, saying nothing.
“You’d beg for it, I think.” He slows down. “I want to hear it. I want to hear you say, ‘please sir, fuck my pussy with your fingers and make me come.’ Say it, Ivy.”
I’m too lost in pleasure to give a shit. “Please, sir, fuck my pussy with your fingers and make me come.”
He pulls his fingers out of me and lands a loud slap across my ass. My body jerks in response as I let out a gasp. He immediately slides back into me, working me faster, his thumb roaming over my clit.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
He works me ruthlessly, holding nothing back, making me come so hard over his lap, my moans fill the room. Then his hand is in my hair and he’s dragging me off his lap and between his legs. He unzips his pants and pulls his cock out. I’m still coming down from my high when I feel his tip push between my lips.
“Come on,” he urges tightly. “I have to be out of here, baby. Suck me.”
I suck him and he groans, fingers digging into my scalp. He doesn’t wait for me to go at my own pace. He simply uses my mouth for me, pushing his cock as deep as I can take him, until I can’t breathe and he’s panting over me, groaning deep in his chest. He fucks my mouth and I’m simply along for the ride, sucking at his length, tasting him like a starved kitten. He uses me with a need I haven’t felt in him before. He wants more. God, I can sense he wants more. He wants to fuck me properly, and he’s settling for this. But why?
“Fuck yeah, Ivy,” he groans. “You feel so good, beauty. Take it deeper. Fuck.”
He comes down my throat, trembling around me. His hands relax around my head and he’s back to gentle Aidan. He pulls me up and into his lap, and I’m exhausted. I lay my head on his chest as he runs his hand up and down my spine.
He’s still panting, coming down from his high.
I want to tell him he still hasn’t answered why he won’t fuck me properly, but I’m too tired.
“You’re twisting me up, Ivy,” he says faintly. “You’re running through my blood. You’re a thirst I can’t fucking quench.”
I lay a kiss on his throat, right over his maddening pulse. Then I shut my eyes.
I must fall asleep because the next time I open my eyes, I’m alone in bed.
*
I type in: How to make man fuck you on Google. Don’t judge me. Desperate times, man. Desperate fucking times.
Okay, so, I guess I can wind him up by smelling better. Also, if I talk in a throatier, breathless tone, he’s going to associate that with sex. Huh. I try to practice this, but I end up sounding like a nutcase with throat problems.
I keep reading these idiotic articles, hoping for the break I need. Then I’m messaging Ana because you gotta have a girl talk sense to you.
Ana: Maybe he doesn’t last long.
Ana: Maybe vaginal sex doesn’t do it for him. Offer anal?
Ana: Maybe he’s waiting for you to take charge.
Ana: Maybe you need to give him an ultimatum. Penis or nothing at all, Mr West.
Ana: You’re not even responding back to me. This is how I know you take me for granted.
Ivy: I’m still reading through these stupid articles. So sorry.
Ana: Look, you need to tease him more. Stop being so readily available. Let him go mad with lust. No more crawling into bed with him. Wear short skirts and bend over or something. Make him chase you. If he’s so cross eyed with want, he’ll fuck you. I guarantee it.
Ivy: I don’t want to trick him into fucking me. I just want him to want to fuck me. God, I sound so desperate.
Ana: You’re not tricking him. You’re just…urging him in the right direction.
Ivy: =/
Ana: Have you tried asking him, Ivy? Maybe you’ll get your answer.
Ivy: I asked. He said when we’re ready, we’ll know. But I’m ready.
Ana: You’re assuming he’s waiting on you for that. Maybe the issue is with him not being ready.
I pause to consider that. This is Aidan we’re talking about, though. He loves sex, has expressed it on many occasions, and I want to have it with him. Badly.
It’s like Ana senses my thoughts because she messages me again.
Ana: Don’t be in his bed tonight. Let him pine for you, make him feel like the chase hasn’t ended just because you’re under the same roof. Worth a try, right?
Ivy: Okay.
I come home to an empty penthouse. The chef has come and gone. I can smell the steak in the air, and I have a quick – okay, long – binge in the fridge. Then I’m bathing myself in Aidan’s bathroom. I bought a bunch of feminine crap at the store, so I’m hoping I can leave a pretty scent in the air. He’ll take a whiff of this epic flowery shit and will want me with his dick.
His bathroom has a splash of pink when I leave it and go to my room. I’ve hardly been in it except to change out of my clothes. I settle into the bed, trying my hardest at this playing hard to get bullshit. I’m not sure what Aidan will think when he goes to his room tonight and doesn’t see me in his bed.
He needs to miss me, though. Ana made a good point. I’m not playing hard to get to fuck with him. I’m just giving him some head space to want me a little more…
I turn the lights off and bury myself in a good book. I’m reading about hot pirates that have tentacle arms (I don’t know how I went down this romance rabbit hole) and a damsel in distress women with huge bosoms (I’m jealous) when I hear noises outside my bedroom. I pause my reading to listen.
Aidan’s home by the sounds of it. I hear his keys skidding along the kitchen counter and then his footsteps. I hold my breath, wondering what his reaction will be when he doesn’t find me in his bed. The door of his room opens. Then stillness follows.
/>
Okay, okay, what’s he thinking?
Just as quickly, though, I hear his footsteps again coming down the hallway. I quickly shut off the kindle and pretend to sleep. The door to my room whips open. Seconds later the covers are ripped off from me and strong arms wrap around my body.
“Not funny, Ivy,” he says with disapproval, carrying me out of the room.
“What’s going on?” I pretend he’s just woken me up, but I’m wide awake, my heart thudding in my ribs.
“You belong in my bed, temptress. That’s what’s going on.”
He takes me into his room and settles me into his bed, throwing the covers over me. I study him in the darkness. He’s undoing his watch and settling it on the dresser. Then he’s undressing completely, peering at me with stormy eyes.
“Cheeky, bewitching woman,” he says, climbing into bed next with nothing on, covering my body whole with his. “What did you think I would do when I didn’t find you under my sheets?”
I bite the inside of my lip. “Want me more?”
He smashes his mouth against mine, stealing my next breath. “In what world could I want you more than I already do?”
“I might be losing my spark.”
“On the contrary, beauty, your spark’s growing brighter.”
“I’m not old news then.”
He just looks at me, perplexed. “I’m smitten by you, Ivy. I go to work and spend the entire time trying to find ways to come home sooner. I’m obsessed with you. You’re all I think about. I thought I made all this clear.”
I grow warmer. “You did.”
He kisses me again, running a hand down my body. “What the fuck are you wearing?” he murmurs against my mouth. “What is this silky little thing?”
“It’s a night gown,” I reply, smiling when his hands run under my gown and up my inner thigh.
“Since when are night gowns this tiny?”
“It’s called lingerie, Aidan.” I wore it to make him go crazy. I think it’s working.
He groans. “I see what’s happening. You’re trying to wind me up, aren’t you? Sleeping in another bed, wearing this little thing, messing with my head –”
