by Tom Stoppard
Treefriendly version 1.0
Created 2003.07.13 by dfkt.
HAPGOOD
TOM STOPPARD
by the same author
ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD
ENTER A FREE MAN
JUMPERS
NIGHT AND DAY
THE REAL THING
TRAVESTIES
DALLIANCE and UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY
(a version of Arthur Schnitzler's Das weite Land)
THE REAL INSPECTOR HOUND and other entertainments
(After Magritte; Dirty Linen; New-Found-Land;
Dirty Linen (concluded); Dogg's Hamlet, Cahoot's Macbeth)
ROUGH CROSSING and ON THE RAZZLE
ARCADIA
INDIAN INK
Screenplays
ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD: THE FILM
THE TELEVISION PLAYS 1965-1984
(A Separate Peace; Teeth; Another Moon Called Earth;
Neutral Ground; Professional Foul; Squaring the Circle)
Radio Plays
THE PLAYS FOR radio 1964-1991
(The Dissolution of Dominic Boot; 'M' is for Moon Among Other
Things; If You're Glad I'll Be Frank; Albert's Bridge;
Where Are They Now?; Artist Descending a Staircase;
The Dog It Was That Died; In the Native State)
Fiction
LORD MALQUIST AND MR MOON
faber and faber
LONDON-BOSTON
First published in 1988
by Faber and Faber Limited
3 Queen Square London wcin 3AU
Reprinted with corrections 1994
Typeset by Parker Typesetting Service, Leicester
Printed in England by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc
All rights reserved
© Tom Stoppard, 1988,1994
All rights whatsoever in this play are strictly reserved and professional applications to perform it, etc., must be made
in advance, before rehearsals begin, to Fraser and Dunlop
(Scripts) Limited, Fifth floor, The Chambers, Chelsea Harbour,
London SW10 oxf, and amateur applications for permission
to perform it, etc., must be made in advance, before
rehearsals begin, to Samuel French Limited, 52 Fitzroy Street,
London wip 6JR
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not,
by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out
or otherwise circulated without the publisher's prior consent
in any form of binding or cover other than that in which
it is published and without a similar condition including this
condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 0-571-15159-0 ISBN 0-571-15160-4 Pbk.
2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3
For Oliver with love and thanks
We choose to examine a phenomenon which is impossible, absolutely impossible, to explain in any classical way, and which has in it the heart of quantum mechanics. In reality it contains the only mystery ... Any other situation in quantum mechanics, it turns out, can always be explained by saying, 'You remember the case of the experiment with the two holes? It's the same thing.'
Richard P. Feynman
'Lectures on Physics'/'The Character of Physical Law'
CHARACTERS
HAPGOOD aged thirty-eight
BLAIRprobably twenty years older, but in good shape
KERNER forty-ish
RIDLEY mid-thirties
WATES either side of forty-five
MAGGS twenties
MERRYWEATHER twenty-two
JOE eleven
RUSSIAN any age, thirty to fifty
ACT ONE
Scene 1The Pool, Wednesday morning
Scene 2The Zoo, Wednesday noon
Scene 3The Rugby Pitch, Wednesday afternoon
Scene 4The Office, Thursday morning
Scene 5The Shooting Range, Thursday afternoon
ACT TWO
Scene 1The Office, Thursday evening
Scene 2The Studio, Friday morning
Scene 3The Zoo, Friday noon
Scene 4The Office, Friday afternoon
Scene 5The Hotel, Friday evening
Scene 6The Pool, Friday night
Scene 7The Rugby Pitch, Saturday afternoon
Hapgood was presented by Michael Codron at the Aldwych Theatre, London, on 8 March 1988. The cast was as follows:
HAPGOODFelicity Kendal
BLAIRNigel Hawthorne
KERNERRoger Rees
RIDLEYIain Glen
WATESAl Matthews
MERRYWEATHERAdam Norton
MAGGSRoger Gartland
JOEChristopher Price or Andrew Read
RUSSIANPatrick Gordon
Directed by Peter Wood
Designed by Carl Toms
Lighting by David Hersey
ACT ONE
SCENE I
We are looking at part of the men's changing room of an old-fashioned municipal swimming-baths. It is ten o'clock in the morning. The cubicles are numbered, and they have doors which conceal occupancy although they don't meet the ground. There is a wash-basin or two, a place to shave facing front. Four of the cubicles have to 'work'. There are four ways of coming and going: 'Lobby', 'Pool', 'Showers', and, for the sake of argument, 'Upstage'.
The lobby doors have MEN in reverse on the glass. Signs saying POOLS, SHOWERS, GENTS and EXIT may be used.
One of the showers is evidently in use - we can hear it. When we encounter this scene, WATES is shaving. He is a black man, an American, who is normally impressively tailored and suave but at present is dressed in cast-offs and looks as if he spent last night on a park bench. His tackle is basic - shaving brush, shaving stick, old-fashioned safety razor.
Before anything else happens we have a short radio play. What we can hear is two people (a man and a woman, HAPGOOD) talking to each other on shortwave radio. The voices have a slight distort.
RADIO: OK, we have a blue Peugeot... stopping.
Single male.
It's not Georgi.
Anybody know him? No briefcase, repeat negative on briefcase.
Are you getting this, Mother? - we have the Peugeot but it's not Georgi.
He's crossing the road. Fancy tracksuit, running shoes. No sign of the follower. Are you getting this? - target is approaching, negative on Georgi, negative on briefcase, negative on follower, give me a colour.
HAPGOOD: (On radio) Green. You should be seeing Kerner.
RADIO: Negative. They changed the plot. Confirm Green.
HAPGOOD: (On radio) Green. Tell me when Kerner shows.
WATES: (Live) If he shows.
HAPGOOD: (On radio) Tell me when Kerner shows, he'll be walking.
WATES: (Live, no emotion) Kerner is thirty thousand feet up on Aeroflot, I feel sick.
RADIO: Who is that?
HAPGOOD: (On radio) Wates - just shave.
WATES: (Live) Yes, Ma'am.
RADIO: Target inside. Negative on Kerner. Target in lobby. Ridley has seen him. Still negative on Kerner. Do I hear yellow? Mother, give me a colour, we're still - OK, we have a walker.
OK, we have Kerner... three hundred yards... affirmative on briefcase. Target's got his key.
HAPGOOD: (On radio) Say when.
RADIO: Four - three - two -(The lobby door opens.) You're looking at him.
(A man enters from the lobby. He wears a colourful tracksuit and running shoes. He carries a towel rolled up into a sausage, we assume the swimming trunks and cap are inside. He carries a key on a loop of string which
might make it convenient to wear as a pendant. He is otherwise empty-handed. We call this man russian one, because he is Russian and because there are going to be two of them.
RUSSIAN ONE enters Cubicle One. [This numbering has nothing to do with the actual numbers on the cubicles, it is only for our convenience.] russian one enters his cubicle and closes the door behind him.
RIDLEY enters from the lobby. He is carrying a briefcase [but the briefcase may be inside a sports holdall.] RIDLEY now goes on a perambulation. The essence of the situation is that RIDLEY moves around and through, in view and out of view, demonstrating that the place as a whole is variously circumnavigable in a way which will later recall, if not replicate, the problem of the bridges of Konigsberg [and which will give RUSSIAN ONE time to undress]. Back to the plot. RUSSIAN ONE, dressed to swim, leaves his cubicle, locks it, swings his towel up and over the lintel and leaves it hanging there, and goes off to the pool. When he has gone RIDLEY posts his briefcase under the door of Cubicle One, and pulls the towel off the door. [As a matter of interest, the RIDLEY who posts the briefcase is not the same RIDLEY who entered with it.] RIDLEY enters Cubicle Two and closes the door behind him. The towel appears, flung over the lintel, hanging down. WATES continues to shave. The shower continues to run. KERNER enters from the lobby. He carries a briefcase. He has a towel and a key. He looks around and posts his briefcase under the door with the towel showing [Cubicle Two]. KERNER pulls the towel off the door and tosses it over the door into the cubicle. KERNER enters another cubicle [Cubicle Three] and closes the door behind him. A moment later his towel appears over the lintel. RIDLEY leaves Cubicle Two, bringing KERNER's briefcase with him, and also the towel. He chucks the towel over the door of Cubicle One. With the briefcase he disappears in the direction of the showers. The shower cubicle may be in full view, in which case we see RIDLEY delivering his briefcase to the occupant. RUSSIAN ONE leaves the pool, wet of course, and re-enters his cubicle.
RIDLEY comes back into view, from the showers, without the briefcase. He goes to the pool. RUSSIAN TWO enters from the lobby. He is the twin of RUSSIAN ONE, and dressed like RUSSIAN ONE. He carries a similar rolled-up towel. However, he also carries a briefcase. He glances round briefly, and notes the towel on Kerner's door [Cubicle Three]. He posts his briefcase under Kerner's door. He enters a cubicle, Cubicle Four.
MERRYWEATHER, a boyish twenty-two-year-old in sports jacket and flannels, enters from the lobby. His manner is not as well calculated as RIDLEY's had been. He is at first relieved and then immediately disconcerted by the absence of Russians. RUSSIAN ONE now dressed, leaves his cubicle, carrying his rolled-up towel but leaving the briefcase [which Ridley posted] behind. RUSSIAN ONE leaves to the lobby. MERRYWEATHER, whose idea of making himself inconspicuous has been, perhaps, to examine himself in WATES's mirror, follows RUSSIAN ONE out to the lobby.
KERNER, dressed, leaves Cubicle Three, with the briefcase which had been posted there, and leaves to the lobby. RUSSIAN TWO reappears, from Cubicle Four, and enters Cubicle One to collect the briefcase which had been posted there by Ridley. As he leaves the cubicle, RIDLEY re-enters from the pool. RUSSIAN TWO leaves to the lobby. RIDLEY follows him out. WATES has finished shaving. He is packing up his shaving tackle. The shower stops running. There is a pause, and then the occupant of the shower, HAPGOOD, approaches, somewhat encumbered by a briefcase [Kernels original] a leather rectangular clutch handbag with a shoulder strap, and an umbrella which she is at the moment taking down and shaking out. From her appearance, the umbrella has been an entire success. She comes down into the light and leans the umbrella carefully against the cubicles, and stands pensively for a moment. She is apparently too preoccupied to acknowledge WATES, who is himself preoccupied with something which makes him shake with silent laughter. He is putting a heavy steel wrist-watch on his right wrist. [NOTE: All the foregoing action may be done to music and lightly choreographed.])
WATES: Young guy in a sports coat, college haircut, nasty wart on the back of his right hand, no, left, it was in the mirror.
HAPGOOD: Merryweather.
WATES: Merryweather, right. Followed the man in, followed the wrong man out, meanwhile Merryweather's man turns around and leaves with the goods. Sort of dummy.
HAPGOOD: Yes, he is rather.
(The lobby doors open. RIDLEY enters in a somewhat excited, even delighted, state.)
RIDLEY: (Greeting her) Mother.
HAPGOOD: This is Ridley.
RIDLEY: You didn't tell me it was twins.
HAPGOOD: This is Wates.
(HAPGOOD puts the briefcase on the ground, then lays it flat. She undoes the catches and raises the lid. During this WATES and RIDLEY shake hands.)
WATES: Ben Wates.
RIDLEY: (Friendly) Ridley.
(HAPGOOD has stood up, taking from the case aflat white cardboard box, a few inches square, the sort of thing that might contain a computer disc, which is what in fact it does contain. However, she is not the slightest interested in the box. She stands staring down at the open briefcase.)
HAPGOOD: (Bad news) Wates.
(Now WATES looks at her and at the briefcase.)
WATES: Oh, Lord.
HAPGOOD: Where's yours, Ridley?
RIDLEY: In the Peugeot.
(MERRYWEATHER returns, looking sheepish. HAPGOOD tosses the disc-box back into the briefcase.)
MERRYWEATHER: Sorry, Mother - I -
HAPGOOD: Where did he go, Merryweather?
MERRYWEATHER: Actually, I lost him - a taxi came round the corner-
HAPGOOD: He's in the taxi?
(MERRYWEATHER nods.)
RIDLEY: (To HAPGOOD) Chamberlain's cab, I love it. Listen, how the hell-
HAPGOOD: (Politely) Be quiet, Ridley.
(She is opening her handbag and taking out a small radio transmitter/receiver. These gadgets are going to get quite a lot of use and evidently the state of the an has arrived at a radio which is no larger and somewhat slimmer than twenty cigarettes. The radio speaks quietly.)
(To MERRYWEATHER) Have a look round the pool.
MERRYWEATHER: Right. What for exactly?
HAPGOOD: Anything there is, I'll want to see it.
(To radio) Cotton.
RADIO: Mother.
(WATES and MERRYWEATHER dovetail with HAPGOOD and her radio.)
WATES: (Shaking hands) Ben Wates.
MERRYWEATHER: How do you do, sir? Merryweather.
(MERRYWEATHER goes out to the pool. RIDLEY is probably contemplating the briefcase. WATES moves quietly up towards the cubicles and calmly investigates them, one after another without fuss. During this:)
HAPGOOD: (To radio) Where is he?
RADIO: In the Peugeot.
HAPGOOD: (Patiently) Thank you, Cotton, and where is the Peugeot?
RADIO: Camden High Street.
HAPGOOD: Pick him up and I want everything, I want him in a plastic bag.
RADIO: Yes, ma'am.
HAPGOOD: Contents of briefcase. I'm here to be told.
RADIO: You know it's twins?
HAPGOOD: Yes, I know it's twins.
(To RIDLEY) You take Kerner - go through him, do it properly.
(To radio) Chamberlain.
RIDLEY: Kerner's clean.
RADIO: P.O.B.
HAPGOOD: (To radio) I know.
RIDLEY: I did the switch.
HAPGOOD: (To RIDLEY, more sharply) Move.
(RIDLEY exits to the lobby.)
(To radio) Where are you?
RADIO: Chalk Farm, turning west on Adelaide.
HAPGOOD: Bring him in.
RADIO: Say again?
HAPGOOD: Just do it.
RADIO: Okay, guv.
HAPGOOD: Taxi needs back-up.
RADIO: (New voice) Roger.
HAPGOOD: I'm here to be told.
(She turns the gadget off, hesitates, and turns it on again.)
(To radio) Paul...
(Her tone for Paul is different - she is not giving orders. No answer.)
/> Paul...
(Still no answer. She turns the radio off. WATES is coming back to her.)
What are you thinking?
WATES: I guess we took our eye off the ball. (HAPGOOD closes the briefcase.)
HAPGOOD: What happened to the bleep?
WATES: (Shrugs) It's dead.
HAPGOOD: I'll need when.
WATES: You'll get it. Why did he take the film?
HAPGOOD: Who?
WATES: Yeah, that's the other thing.
(HAPGOOD goes to collect her umbrella.)
HAPGOOD: (To radio) I'm leaving.
RADIO: Car out front.
HAPGOOD: (To radio) Thank you.
(She puts the radio back into her bag.) Wates...
WATES: Yes, ma'am.
HAPGOOD: Thank you for your co-operation.
WATES: You bet.
(He holds the briefcase out for her and she takes it.)
HAPGOOD: Well, we'll talk. You're invited.
WATES: Appreciate it.
(HAPGOOD starts off to the lobby door. MERRYWEATHER comes back in from the pool.)
MERRYWEATHER: Nothing, Mother - the whole place is clean.
HAPGOOD: (Continuing out) Drain the pool.
(The doors swing shut behind her.)
MERRYWEATHER: (Thoughtfully, not entirely happy) Drain the pool.
(He goes back to the pool. WATES is alone. He is evidently a man with a burden. He is getting ready to leave, perhaps he has a coat to put on. From the pocket he takes a similar radio and walks towards the doors, raising the radio to his mouth; at which point everything changes for him. He stops to listen, his head turned back towards the upstage, by which time, gracefully and without making a big thing of it, he has tossed his radio from right hand to left, and produced from somewhere about his person a short-barrelled revolver. He stands listening, holding the gun down by his side. He has to be patient but after a while a figure comes out of the dark upstage between the cubicles. This turns out to be a man wearing a hat and a good tweed overcoat, his hands in the pockets, a slightly surprising colourful silk scarf tucked inside the coat. He walks down in his own time, a careful stroll. WATES does not move until the downstage light falls across BLAIR's face. BLAIR comes to a halt. WATES puts his gun away, gets the radio back into his right hand and resumes.)
