A marriage without love. He might be a good man, and Gemma desperately hoped he was, but it still meant she would never find the love that used to sweeten her dreams.
“Ye look tired, lass.”
With a shriek, Gemma whirled and started to topple off her stool. Theo grabbed her before she slid off entirely, and gently righted her. “‘Tis only me.”
“You scared me,” she grumbled, then squinted. It was so dark in the room, and her stomach rumbled. Clearly, she’d lost track of time again.
“Ye do everything with complete focus. Sleep. Work. Marry.” He chuckled at his joke and pulled her from the stool. “I checked on ye earlier and found ye hard at work, so I procured some dinner for us. Come, eat.”
Wooed by the smell of hot stew and potatoes, Gemma rose and joined him at the table.
“Were you training the recruits?” she asked as her mind wandered to David. She wanted to ask how he was doing, to make sure that he wasn’t in any dangerous situation, but she also wanted to trust Theo.
“David is doing well,” Theo said with a twinkle in his eye. “He is allowed to watch the training sessions so long as he helps keep the armory clean. Yer blacksmith keeps an eye on him to make certain that he learns to respect the weapons.”
“He is worried about what will happen to him and Cameron when I leave. I know that Loch Moran will look out for him...”
“They cannae come with us,” he said sharply. “If that is what ye are thinking, banish the thought.”
Gemma recoiled at his tone. She hadn’t thought even once about taking them with her, but he had apparently thought of it and hated the idea. For the first time, she wondered about his anger. “I wasn’t about to suggest the imposition, rather that you promise to see to it that they are cared for.”
“All of Loch Moran will be cared for,” he said stiffly.
“Why are you so against bringing the two boys back? It’s not like there isn’t room for them at the keep. I wouldn’t suggest that you raise them as heirs...”
“I am not going to raise any children.”
At his curt remark, Gemma gasped. He didn’t want children? Perhaps this was something they should have discussed before they married.
Tears filled her eyes. “I do not understand. You are the laird. How can you not want—”
“I didnae say that I didnae want children,” Theo said softly. “Indeed, I do. But I wilnae raise them. When they are at an age where they need more than the basic needs, ye will raise them. They will have tutors if need be, and my men will train them, but the stain of my family wilnae touch them.”
The stain of his family? So the reports of his father were true.
“Theo...”
“I wilnae discuss it further,” he growled. “That is all I will say on the subject.”
Shocked, she stared as he got up and stormed from the room. She’d heard that he’d had a wicked temper, but she hadn’t given it much thought when she’d agreed to marry him. Now, the anger and rage on his face still lingered in the room. He hadn’t hurt her, so at least that was something, but he’d left her feeling ice cold.
What kind of man didn’t want to raise his own children?
Her hands shook as she started to clear the table, but she wasn’t alone for long.
“Wait,” Theo said softly when he returned. “I didnae mean to ruin dinner. Please stay and eat. Ye need it, and then ye need to sleep.”
“I’m not hungry anymore.”
“Eat anyways.”
The command made her smile wryly, and she turned to face him. He gave orders like he breathed—without thought. For reasons she couldn’t fathom, it helped to ease the mood, and it gave her something else to cling to other than the heartbreaking idea that he didn’t want to raise his own children.
“Are you planning on stomping out every time we disagree about something?”
“I amnae used to people questioning me,” he admitted as he took the plates from her hands and spread them back on the table. “I realized as soon as I left that I shouldnae have walked out. There are few things that I am willing to budge on, and this is one of them.”
There was no point in arguing right now. They were already married, and there was no child. Perhaps she would have time to make him see what it might do to have someone else raise his child.
“Gemma?”
“I’ll finish dinner. Are you planning on staying tonight?”
“Aye. Ye are my wife.” There was a smoky promise in his voice. “But ye have no need to be nervous. I have no plans to do anything but sleep by yer side.”
Disappointment filled her. How long had she wished to feel unfulfilled passion for a man? When she’d learned of her fate with Fletcher MacSeaver, she’d immediately searched for someone to show her that passion before she was forever chained to a man who would never love her.
She’d never found that lover. Now she was morally obligated to give her body to a man she was insanely attracted to, and it seemed he didn’t want her.
All that talk about passion when he convinced me to marry him!
Where was that now?
“Sleep. Right.” Irate, she let the plate clatter noisily in front of him and lifted her skirts. “What if I don’t want to sleep?”
“Pardon?” He stared at her warily, and she straddled him in the chair. Maybe it was time to take charge of things so he knew exactly what she wanted. “Gemma, I am trying to give ye time.”
“Why?” Slowly, she curved her hand around his face. “I am yours. You don’t have to give me time.”
“But I do.” With a sigh, Theo ran his hands up and down her arms. “Ye know, I tell everyone that my parents had a happy marriage, that they were well suited for one another...but they were hardly happy. They both wanted power, and they used each other to get it. When my mother was truly angry with me, she told me about the night that I was conceived. It was her wedding night, and...well, let us say that it is one night that she never forgave my father for, or forgave me for. I wilnae do that to ye.”
Gemma’s heart ached for the boy who had to grow up with parents who would blame him for something that happened before he was even born.
“Our wedding night has come and gone, Theo, and I am not an unwilling lady. All that passion ye spoke of before? I want that. I want it with my husband. You claim that will be the foundation for our marriage. So show me.”
His grasp on her arms tightened just a little, and his lips parted. “Maybe I am not ready.” His hands rested on her thighs. “There is much that I fear ye will hate me for in this marriage, but I swear what we will do in bed wilnae be one of them.”
If he needed time, then she would give it to him. This was his night as much as hers. “You will be faithful, though.”
“Oh, my love, if ye need desire, I think there is something that I can do to help ye. Something to help us both.” His fingers began massaging her thighs, drawing her skirts up. The cool air of her cottage kissed her bare calves, and she shivered.
“Theo,” she whispered, and clutched at his shirt.
“Any time ye wish for me to stop, ye just say the word.” He drew her skirts up higher. “Kiss me, Wife.”
When his fingers caressed her bare skin behind her knee, she gasped and fell forward, inches from his face. “The kiss on my wedding day was my first.”
“Then take yer second, my lass.”
Leaning forward, she tentatively pressed her lips to his. His hands moved higher up her legs, and she parted her lips inadvertently. Immediately, his tongue snaked it and took control. With a moan, she clutched at his shirt and leaned in, sliding up his hard thighs until she could feel the proof of his desire.
“Theo!”
“Aye, lass. Doonae doubt that I want ye. From the moment I laid eyes on ye, I knew I wanted ye. It takes all of my control not to lift ye onto this table and sheath myself inside of ye,” he muttered as he moved his kisses down her neck.
Helpless against him, she rolled her head to the
side to give him all the access he desired.
“Ye are so sweet,” he whispered. “The taste of ye is maddening.”
“Don’t stop.”
With a growl, he shoved her skirts up and moved his hands between her legs. “Feel that?” he moaned as he skimmed his knuckles over the very center of her. Pleasure coursed through her, and she jerked from the sensations. Never before had she felt such clawing need.
She arched her back as she moved against his fingers. “I...Theo...” What could she say? Plead for more? Ask for the end of this delicious torment?
“Please.”
“I am going to give ye everything ye want, Gemma.” The pressure intensified. “Kiss me again, Gemma. I want to taste ye when ye fall apart.”
Fall apart? She was wound so tightly that she thought she might never be okay again, but she needed something to anchor her, and his lips would do. Falling forward, she kissed him like it was her only chance to breathe. The sensations only grew stronger as his fingers pressed against her, probing inside of her.
If his fingers could make her feel this way, what would happen when they were well and truly joined?
“Yes,” she whispered as she ran her hands through his hair.
Suddenly ashamed of how she might look, she buried her face in his neck.
“Doonae hide from me,” Theo begged. “Please. I want to see ye.”
“I can’t. Not yet. Oh, Theo!” She wrapped her arms around him with a gasp and held on for dear life as her body exploded around him. Shaking and gasping for breath, she nearly came to tears at the thought that her husband’s touch could make her feel like this.
“Ye are all right,” he whispered as he rubbed his hands up and down her back, and cradled her. “I have ye, Gemma.”
“Now I can see why you wanted to wait,” she said shakily as she climbed off his lap and turned her back on him. Taking a few moments to collect herself, she brushed her hands down her dress. “That was intense. Are you all right?”
“Aye.” He looked at her with concern. “Do ye wish to finish yer meal?”
And sit with the man who had that kind of control over her? “I think ye are right. I need to sleep.”
Afraid to look at him again, she turned and hurried to her bed.
And when he didn’t return to her side that night, she wept.
9
She was still sleeping when Theo checked in on her before dawn. Careful not to wake her, he stood over her and looked down at the dark hair fanned over the pillow. Several hours ago, that pillow was wet with her tears.
He’d only wanted to give her pleasure, but somehow, he’d caused her pain.
Married for less than two days, and he already felt like he was becoming his father.
“I am sorry, lass,” he whispered. He started to undress and climb into bed with her to see the dawn with her in his arms, but there was a loud knock at the door.
Annoyed, he turned and went to wring the interloper’s neck, but Thomas was on the other side when he opened the door. “My apologies for the early hour, but there is a MacSeaver at the border.”
“Fletcher,” Theo hissed. He’d been so certain that the MacSeaver’s letter had been a fake. “She is wed. To me. He cannae have her.”
Thomas blinked in confusion. “Oh, Laird, no. ‘Tis not Fletcher. ‘Tis a lass. Jillian.”
The widowed wife of Fletcher’s son? What was she doing here? “Where is Graeme?”
“Camping along the river. Should I get him?”
“Nay. She may be seeking sanctuary, in which case she wilnae be happy to know that another MacSeaver is here. Escort her here, and I will hear her out, but I wish for my wife to sleep a little longer.”
“We will be here within two hours,” Thomas said with a bow of his head. “Apologies if I woke the mistress.”
Knowing he wasn’t going to get any sleep, Theo put on some oatmeal in the pot for when Gemma woke up. She may not want to see him, but she would still need to eat before sitting at her looms all day.
Straightening, he looked at them. He had no idea what she was creating, but they were the boldest of greens and blues. She had a talent for dyes. He had no doubt that she was creating something beautiful.
An hour later, Theo was outside the cottage when four men rode up with a familiar lass on a fifth horse. Holding up his hand, he halted them before they got too close and woke up Gemma.
“Lady Jillian,” he said as he approached to help her off her horse, “tis awfully early for ye to be crossing MacDougal borders.”
“I would have gotten here yesterday evening, but my trip was delayed some.” There was a darkening bruise around her red-rimmed eyes.
“Bandits?” he asked tightly. If there were thieves on Hamilton lands, Hamish would take care of it.
“No, but that’s neither here nor there.” Shying away from him, she immediately averted her gaze. After a moment, she sank to her knees. “Laird MacDougal, I wish to seek sanctuary here. To renounce my clan. I will swear fealty to ye.”
He wanted to believe her, but he knew absolutely nothing about her. No one did. The MacSeaver heir had married her out of nowhere, and Fletcher had been enraged because he’d wanted his son to marry for political alliance.
The son had died a scant month later, leaving the pretty lass a widow. No one had laid eyes on her until Fletcher had married Beth, and then Beth went everywhere with Jillian.
It was Beth’s treachery now that gave Theo pause. Fletcher may not have remembered Gemma, but he did remember that Loch Moran used to belong to him.
Sometimes women made the best spies.
“Ye must tell me why.”
“I was never a MacSeaver.” The lass still couldn’t meet his gaze. “Since Beth’s death, my father-in-law has not been himself. He usually protects me, and I fear that is no longer the case. Please.”
“Jillian, I wish to help ye, and if ye truly want sanctuary, then perhaps I can ask my brother to take ye.”
“A Hamilton? After Beth tried to kill both the laird and the mistress?” Jillian paled. “I doonae think that is the place for me.”
“If ye recall, Beth tried to kill me as well,” Theo said dryly.
“But that is not Jillian’s sin.” The door slammed behind him, and Theo gritted his teeth as Gemma marched around them. Grasping Jillian’s hands, she helped the woman rise. “If you learned anything about Loch Moran, you would know that it is a place for the people who want to be as far from MacSeaver as possible.”
“Gemma!”
“She has asked for sanctuary. I do know that highlanders are liberal at granting that.”
“We have a peace treaty with the MacSeavers, Gemma.”
“Fine, then do not grant her sanctuary.” Gemma squeezed her hand. “Lady Jillian is my friend, and she is here to visit with me. Indefinitely.”
Theo blinked. “Ye know Jillian?”
“Does that surprise you?”
“Aye.” Theo nodded. “It most certainly does. When were ye going to tell me that ye were friendly with MacSeaver’s daughter-in-law?”
He knew what it sounded like, the suspicion in his voice, and she cut him a stern look. “Not every woman gets to choose their family,” she said pointedly as she put her arm around Jillian and walked her to their cottage. “Until we can find her a safe place to stay, Jillian will stay with me.”
“What?” Flustered, Theo took a step forward. “Wife, I am staying with ye.”
“Then I suggest you be polite to our guest.” With that, she marched Jillian into the cottage and slammed the door shut.
Theo growled.
Marriage is proving far more difficult than I first thought.
“You should have sent word that you were coming,” Gemma said a little angrily as she sat Jillian down and lifted her friend’s face to inspect the bruise darkening on her skin. “I would have sent someone to escort you here.”
“I tried, but all of my attempts at communication were thwarted. Oh, Gemma, I learned
of yer marriage right before I left, and I was so worried that I wouldnae be able to stay. I doonae think yer husband is happy.”
There was blood in her friend’s hair. Gemma’s stomach clenched as she hurried to the basin to wet a cloth. “My husband’s happiness is the least of my concerns,” she muttered. “And you will be safe here as long as I draw breath.”
“Gemma, stop.” Grabbing her wrists, Jillian pulled them down and kissed her hands. “Ye married Laird MacDougal. What were ye thinking? Have ye learned nothing from me?”
“I received word from Fletcher. He sent Graeme to fetch me to wed. I was going to run, but these people wanted so desperately for me to marry Theo and forge an alliance between them and the people.”
“Fletcher?” Jillian shook her head. “Gemma, Fletcher doesnae remember ye. Honestly, I think he forgot about ye the first moment he sobered up after he bought ye. He has no idea ye are here, and he has no wish to wed again. Gemma, he is mad. He puts on a face when he is around others, but when we are alone, I see the insanity. Some days he looks at me and sees Beth.”
“Did he do this?”
“No. He has never had the heart to hit a woman.” Jillian touched her eye. “This is the work of his guards. Those that wanted Beth to succeed. They know I didnae play my part.”
“To seduce Fletcher so he wouldnae stray?” Gemma made a disgusted sound. When Jillian had learned of Beth’s real plan, she’d run as fast as she could to Loch Moran, but there was nothing here anyone could do but shelter her.
Then the king’s missive had arrived, and after that, Gemma hadn’t seen Jillian. She’d feared for her friend but knew that the king of Scotland was a kind man, and she prayed that he would see that Jillian was innocent and spare her.
It seemed that was exactly what he’d done, only he hadn’t bothered to check that Jillian had been safe.
“Men,” Gemma muttered. “They never think of the future. Well, you don’t need to fret. You will always have a home here with me.”
“Yer husband didnae seem so certain about that.”
“You can leave my husband to me. I married him so the ones I loved would be taken care of.” Sitting at the table next to her, Gemma bit her bottom lip. “Besides, I don’t think my husband is going to be the problem. Graeme is here.”
Highlander’s Lesser Evil: A Scottish Medieval Historical Romance (Highlands' Deceptive Lovers Book 4) Page 6
