“It doesn’t matter,” I said, interrupting. “What matters is I’m willing to follow her into hell.”
I hope our escape is a little better than hell, Ashley said in my mind. I never meant for you to become involved in this.
I wasn’t psychic, but I’d learned how to communicate with her once she opened the channel between us. It was useful on missions and helped with everything from sex to resolving arguments. What did you think was going to happen when you went to the media?
I dunno. Ashley shifted in her seat. I guess I wanted to try and change the world.
No one can change the world without bloodshed, I thought back to her. Martin Luther King never would have made it half as far without Malcolm X. Gandhi’s martyrdom was the shock India needed to institute his changes. Selfishness and insanity seem too ingrained to remove with anything but a scalpel. I didn’t like it, but it was the way I perceived the world.
I don’t believe that, Ashley said. Not for a second. I know what people are like under their stated opinions. Almost everyone wants peace. It’s only fear that keeps them going for their weapons first. Ashley looked down to her lap. Aren’t you sick of the lying? The violence? Derek, you’re one of the most peaceful men I know. I can’t understand how you murder people so effortlessly.
Practice, I responded.
And you wonder why you sometimes scare me, I said.
Are you? I asked, hurt.
Ashley didn’t respond.
Around us, a storm broke and a torrent of rain began pouring down. It made the atmosphere much more morbid and depressing. The air felt charged, as if everything were generating static electricity. Thunder clapped, and dozens of lightning strikes filled the skyline.
I stared at the sudden weather change. “That’s not normal.”
“It’s the Cuckoo. He uses storm elementals and cloud cover to block divination as well as remote viewing,” Penny explained, looking up into the sky. “Like I said, he’s very good at what he does.”
“Have you ever checked up on what happened to these people after he helps them escape?” I asked, uneasy.
Penny shrugged. “No, of course not. That would defeat the whole purpose.”
“Great,” I said, imagining this Cuckoo shooting his clients in the back of the head and leaving them in a ditch.
“He’s not like that,” Penny said, waving her hand. “He’s a good man.”
I shrugged. “Trust no one. The Dao of Fox Mulder.”
“You realize if we were on that show we’d be the bad guys, right?” Penny pointed at me, no longer focused on Ashley. I hated leaving her behind. We’d been through so much together, from the womb to Black Room graduation. It would be like cutting my own arm off to never see her again.
I forced that thought away, focusing instead on my love for Ashley. “I thought you wanted to leave the Red Room, P? Why don’t you join us?”
Penny shook her head. “There’s no way anyone would believe all three of us died together. I’ll stay to cover your escape and provide you a cover story. I believe in the Red Room. I just don’t believe I can keep killing children for it. Maybe I’ll ask for a transfer to field work after this.”
I could tell she was thinking about our father.
“Can you stomach killing children, Derek?” Ashley asked, teaming up with Penny. She was trying to make me feel better about leaving my job behind.
I thought of demonic possession, psychic parasites, and other conditions that could turn the innocent into monsters. “It depends on how many children I save by doing so.”
My statement ended all conversation in the car, creeping out Penny and Ashley. I was grateful for the silence because another car had driven up. It was a black Jeep Grand Cherokee, the kind of car that wouldn’t stand out in this environment at all. The car flashed its headlights twice, signaling he was our man. Glad this ordeal was coming to its climax, I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the driver’s side door.
“Let me talk to him,” Penny said.
“No, I want to size this guy up,” I said, shaking my head. “Just for my peace of mind.”
“Also, he’s still filled with doubt,” Ashley added, turning her head to me. “I’m just surprised it’s not about me.”
I didn’t bother thinking about what Ashley was saying, which was a shame since it might have clued me into what would turn into a central problem for the next part of my life—my inability to separate myself from my family’s vocation. Ashley knew what I didn’t back then. She knew I was a killer and did what I did because I was good at it.
I didn’t enjoy murder, but it didn’t affect me as it did other people. I’d say it was the dragon blood, but my mother was the noblest warrior my father had met. Somehow, somewhere along the way, I’d changed from being a normal person into a weapon that had no use when it wasn’t pointed at someone.
Walking through the rain, I reached the jeep and knocked on the driver’s side window. I couldn’t quite make out the figure inside but got the message when the backseat door to my side opened. Sliding on in, I saw a handsome Chinese man with long black hair wearing a turtleneck sweater in the driver’s seat.
I recognized him. “Christopher Hang.”
I’d met Christopher Hang during one of my information-sharing missions to Division Sixteen in Hong Kong. The Red Room was divided into a hundred and twelve regional branches, and rarely did agents get along, but we still lent each other assistance on a regular basis. We were, after all, on the same side.
Theoretically.
I didn’t know the man well, but he’d been one of the rising stars of the agency when I’d first graduated. Unlike most agents, who were sensible enough to engage our enemies only when they had overwhelming force backing them up (and still suffered horrific casualties), Christopher took risks. Lots of risks. Risks that had paid off. That was, of course, true right up until my second year of service, when he’d gotten a fellow senior agent killed and was transferred to the Blue Room to keep him out of trouble.
“Well, this is awkward,” Christopher said. “I expected to be meeting with your sister, Mister Hawthorne.”
“There’s been a slight complication,” I said, shutting the door behind him.
“You want to help Ashley Morgan escape.”
I stared. “You know about that?”
“Everyone in the Blue Room knows,” Christopher said, adjusting his rear-view mirror to look at me. It was unnecessary given that we were alone, but I appreciated the nod to classic spy work. Too many people didn’t even bother these days. “Your father is targeting her to get to you. You realize this, right? If she’s taken out of the game, then you’ll be forced to stay, and your sister won’t abandon you. It’s genius, albeit evil.”
I processed his statement and nodded. It sounded like the kind of thing Nathan would do. “I take it you’re not going to help me leave with Ashley.”
“I was going to tell your sister this plan wasn’t going to work. I’m very good at helping low-level initiates and burnouts to escape, but your sister and you are House Royalty. I’d have an easier time helping the president’s kids disappear.”
I didn’t miss a beat. “What about Ashley?”
Neither did Christopher. “Her, I can help.”
“Tonight?”
“Yes.”
I paused, taking in the monumental nature of all this. I’d just agreed to abandon my old life and start a new one with Ashley, only to find out that wasn’t an option anymore. “I don’t suppose there’s any way I could track her down after this?”
“If you want to kill her, yeah.” Christopher snorted. “Listen, I’m good at my job. I make people disappear. When I’m done with Ashley, she will register as dead to everything from divination spells to the county coroner. I have a blood magic spell capable of turning a corpse into a perfect replica of someone, right down to the DNA. That’s not even covering the bribes, mind-magic, and new identities I’m capable of providing. Believe me, when I say I can make
her disappear, I mean she will never be seen again—by you, or me.”
“That sounds suspicious, if you don’t mind me saying.”
Christopher raised three fingers and crossed them. “I swear on my true name and the Five Powers what I’m saying is true.”
I paused. “You’re a wizard?”
Christopher lifted his right hand and conjured a tiny ball of free-floating electricity before making it disappear. “More than you, less than your father.”
I nodded. “All right, I believe you. No magician would risk his soul like that if he wasn’t telling the truth.”
Christopher shrugged, not turning back to look at me. “I know a few. They’re all dead, though.”
“Now for the real question, how much?” I asked, wondering what sort of payment was required for a man to betray the House.
“Money is something I have enough of, and I never thought I’d say that. The House doesn’t care if you siphon funds from the monsters’ accounts as long as they get their cut. I don’t charge for this service I provide here. I do, however, rely on favors. You could offer me a pretty big favor.”
“You overestimate me. My position in the House wasn’t able to save Ashley, and I just broke ties with my father.”
“I want back in.”
“You help people escape the House and yet your requested fee is being put back in the field?”
“One out of three agents die in the field and another gets out as quickly as possible. It’s not a business for the faint at heart. I’m good at it, though. I know how the monsters think. Vampires, jiang shi, lycanthropes, and pro-supernatural politicians. They’re my tableau. Given the number of guys you’ve taken down, I’d think you’d understand.”
“Reports of my viciousness are exaggerated.”
“If you say so, chief.”
Against my better instincts, this was when I started to like Christopher Hang. He was a proactive sort in an organization that was determined to keep everyone under its thumb. I believed him when he said he was doing this for reasons other than money, not the least because my father also made himself rich by exploiting the House’s resources.
It would take all of my pull, but what Christopher was asking wasn’t impossible. Assuming the Committee believed I’d killed Ashley, they would grant me any favor I wanted. An easy and understandable one would be to request my next partner. I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend the rest of my career with this guy, but I could do what he asked.
I made my decision. “Can you guarantee me she’ll have a happy life?”
“No one can guarantee that.”
I sighed. “All right. Do it.”
Chapter Twelve
I sat there in the back of the jeep for a few minutes. I couldn’t help but wonder how I’d arrived at this position. I’d come here to try and make sure I wouldn’t be separated from Ashley but ended up guaranteeing it would happen.
“Are you okay?” Christopher asked, surprising me. I hadn’t expected the so-called Cuckoo to care.
“Not really, no.”
“It’s not too late to call it off.”
“It is if I want her to live.”
Christopher looked back over his shoulder. “Love is a crazy thing. We always hurt those we care about most.”
He sounded like he spoke from experience. I didn’t care about that, though. All I wanted to do was finish up this farce. Tomorrow, I would have to go back to an organization I now hated and continue work for people I loathed, but at least Ashley would be safe.
I stared at him and said, “Show up Monday morning. We’ve got a backlog of cases. The number of rogue monsters has increased. There’s also a serious question whether someone is trying to organize them.”
“Someone is always trying to organize them. Emerald Eye, the Invisible Court, the Doomsday Brotherhood, the Fifth Column, the Human League, the Daughters of Bachuus—”
“Point taken.”
Christopher surprised me with his next words. “I’ve helped almost two dozen operatives and would-be operatives escape the House. I got into this business as a favor to a friend and it’s sort of grown from there. There’s something you need to understand, though. A quality that will either make you feel better about this or break you.”
“I don’t think I’m going to feel better about this.”
“Not now, no. I’ve parted husbands from wives and fathers from children. The thing you have to understand is the House is a burden born by killers. Once you pull the trigger, you either know you’re one or not. If you are one, you wouldn’t be able to survive out there. You’d see a kid torn up by an animal and know, yeah, that was a Rakshasa, or someone’s suicide you pick up is because someone’s had their happiness stolen by fae.”
“I know how to keep cover.”
“Does Ashley?” I asked.
“Ashley helps people. She doesn’t kill them.”
“Then she’d be able to find another way to live. I can set her up as a psychiatrist to heal damaged minds or whatever else her abilities would help. I can’t help killers, though. The only one I helped became a vampire hunter within a month. I had to track down his body and melt it in acid when I found out he’d gotten himself killed.”
“I am a killer, but I could have found peace with her.”
Christopher didn’t address that. “You’re not the first person to lose someone you loved to the job, one way or the other. My recommendation is for you to focus on the rage, pain, and hatred you feel and turn it into a weapon against the monsters. Not so much you’ll become reckless, but enough you’ll be able to forget.”
“Sounds like pretty stupid advice.”
“It’s worked for me.”
The impulse to lose myself in my job was a strong one. I couldn’t imagine moving on from this point and ironically didn’t want to think about serving the Red Room’s agenda anymore. If I was a weapon, maybe I should just be one and forget all about the politics. A part of me wanted to die for this betrayal, but it was a fleeting emotion. No—if I was honest, I wanted to make other people die for tearing me away from the woman I loved.
“Maybe you’re right.”
Christopher didn’t know about my inner struggle, though. He just smiled and tried to reassure me. “I have a lot to show you, my friend. I think we’ll work well together.”
“Maybe,” I said.
Christopher and I would prove to be a formidable pair and he was just the sort of guy to distract me from Ashley’s loss. Hell, he even liked paperwork—a kind of nasty mutation which must have come from his huji jing ancestry. In the coming years, I’d come to rely on him as someone who had my back no matter the circumstances. He taught me a lot, showing me how to exploit the monsters’ blind spots and act unpredictably.
Unfortunately, I knew what lay next in my vision. The next part of my flashback was almost too painful to relive. It was a moment of pure unadulterated heartbreak. I’d killed, lied, cheated, stole, blackmailed, and engaged in all manner of espionage over the years. I’d plumbed the innermost secrets of over a thousand individuals and written papers on how to destroy someone’s life, so the Red Room could pick up the pieces. This was my moment, the event that turned mid-level agent Derek Hawthorne into someone who didn’t care whether he lived or died.
“Are you okay?” Christopher asked, watching me hesitate as I stared out at the window to my side.
“No,” I said, opening the rear passenger door and stepping out into the night. The rain had stopped and there was now just a trickle, the storm clouds rumbling overhead. Ashley was standing in front of me, her clothes drenched, and arms crossed. One only had to look at her face to know she knew everything I’d said to Christopher. That she wouldn’t be escaping out into the Big Beautiful World with her lover. No, she’d be going alone, and there wasn’t a damn thing either of us could do about it. Ashley looked devastated, raindrops mixing with tears. I felt her pain, knowing it reflected my own.
“Why?” Ashley asked, her voice quive
ring.
“I’d rather be miserable and you safe than you dead.”
A nearby streetlamp exploded as she narrowed her eyes, fury replacing sorrow. The air became filled with static and I felt an immeasurable power building within her.
Ashley’s abilities were off the scale, and if she’d possessed the slightest inclination to mastering her power, she might have become the psychic Mozart. The Red Room taught psychics how to conquer and destroy to the exclusion of other disciplines. That wasn’t Ashley, and the House hadn’t forced the issue. They preferred having a level-five psychic capable of levitating cars that tolerated them than a level-ten capable of leveling mountains that hated them. Right now, I wasn’t sure if Ashley had been holding back during those tests.
“Don’t you dare try to say this is for me,” Ashley whispered, her words hanging in the air as her powers burned them into my mind.
Not far away, I saw Penny get out of the car, and I made a slight gesture with my fingers. I didn’t want my sister getting involved with this mess any more than she was. Christopher had the good sense to stay in the car.
“Who else would it be for?” I said, calm and without malice.
Ashley walked over, each step feeling like a small earthquake as her emotions enhanced the telekinetic fury raging within her. More streetlights exploded, and trash cans moved across the street, dragged by her building energy. Cars nearby, including the jeep, moved a few feet forward even though they were in park.
It was a visual representation of how we both felt.
“I love you,” I said, unable to say anything more.
I’d said those words before, but there had always been a caveat. The words spoken to Ashley just now, though, felt right. Truer than anything I’d experienced with my wife. Why now, though, when we were about to be separated forever?
“We can’t be together,” Ashley said, staring down. “Because of your father.”
“Believe me, if my father were the only thing standing between us, I’d have killed him back at the mansion.”
Eldritch Ops Page 10
