by Abbie Lyons
God, if only she knew. I decided to play it down the middle. “Maybe. But even if he is...well, it’s not like I’m necessarily expecting to end up with my very first actual boyfriend, you know? So maybe we’ll both get something out of it.”
Again, not really a lie. The guilt was down to a small twinge now.
“Hm. I spose you’re right.” Morgan seemed satisfied, and I’d told her mostly the truth, if not the whole truth. I tipped my head back on my cushion, watching the pinprick early-Spring light that glimmered behind the wobbly, ancient glass of our windows.
“Okay, second question.” At this, Morgan sat up. “What in the bloody absolute literal hell was Professor Frost on about yesterday in the shop?”
Panic was back, hot and vicious. I closed my eyes. Could I be honest with her? About this, at least? It’s not like I had anything to lose. Maybe, even, the more people who knew about Wilder’s insane actions towards me, the better.
“I’m really not sure,” I said. “But it was kind of fucked up, wasn’t it?”
“That’s putting it lightly,” Morgan said. “I come up looking to take a piss and I see Hades’s sexiest professor giving you the absolute crazy eye. If I didn’t know him, I’d say he was about to go totally fire-and-brimstone on your ass. Did you call him ugly, or something?”
“No, nothing,” I said. “I was just staring at him. Well, looking at him, really. He was just buying something and then the next thing I know, he was flipping out.”
Morgan considered. The music grated into a new song that sounded much more demon-y, complete with a few wails.
“Did you see what he was buying?” she asked at last.
“Nope,” I said. That hadn’t even occurred to me. “Although I’m guessing it probably wasn’t face masks, now that you mention it.”
“Who’s to say?” Morgan mused. “He does have awfully luscious skin, for a guy. Anyway, I digress. Do I need to go beat someone up? I know we’re on probation, but I’ll risk it all for you, Noves.” She put up her dukes. I laughed.
“I do not think that will be necessary,” I said. “But...I don’t know. I’m kind of trying to figure out what’s up with him, if that makes sense? In a low key way. I mean, he is doing my exetasis and everything. But I can’t help feeling that maybe he’s related to all of this other stuff going on? I mean, who knows, maybe Dean Harlowe showed up at his class with kyrioi too.”
“Hmm hmm,” Morgan said. “Entirely possible. I don’t know. All this stuff is pretty dodgy, the more I think about it. I guess we’d really better stay out of trouble.” She threw a pillow at me. “So no sneaking into the boys’ dormitory, all right?”
My skin got hot again—or maybe that was the mask. “I swear, I won’t. I don’t want to be expelled any more than you do.”
“Well, I’d think not. Sorry, I don’t mean to be overprotective. I’m not your mom.”
A pang struck me—a strong emotion I didn’t have a name for. Morgan remembered.
“Oh, right, Gods—poor choice of words. I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay,” I said. “Did I ever tell you I had a vision of her? My mom.”
“When?” Morgan asked. “Recently?”
“Ish,” I replied. “When I was all beat up after the whole...showdown thing, I thought I saw her. But then it was nobody. Or, well, it was Nurse Aquaria. And then it was Wilder. And then you.”
Morgan narrowed her eyes, sending little fissures ricocheting through the sides of her mask. “I don’t like that he got to you first there, either. Do you think he had anything to do with the vision of your mum?”
The thought had never occurred to me. Unease stirred inside me like an uncoiling snake.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I guess it’s possible. I mean, I was pretty strung out on demon painkillers or whatever. My mind could’ve just been doing crazy things. But...”
It was a little too coincidental. And, I realized, Wilder knew more about me than anyone at Hades, in a way. The exetasis gave him access to parts of me I didn’t even know about.
I rubbed my palm, the place where the lines met at the outlaw’s crossing.
“You know, the more I think about it, the more I’m going to keep an eye out on him for you,” Morgan said, picking at the goop on her chin. “It’s the least I can do.”
“Fine,” I said, knowing better than to stop Morgan once she put her mind to something. “Just don’t get expelled, okay?”
Chapter Fourteen
I was sad for the weekend to be over, but after the discussions I'd had with Morgan and Teddy, pretty eager to get back to the class I'd come to think of as Demon Poli Sci. I liked Professor Mantel—I liked her style, literally, because she was really rocking that short silver hair, but also her style in general. She didn't coddle us or make us do stupid worksheets or straight-up fall asleep like good ol' Professor Stultior. She just had all of us in the palm of her hand, listening, absorbing, and actually learning. I needed to remember that, to be more grateful for the fact that I was getting an education that was going to change my life. Hell, an education that already had.
"Okay, so I think we've covered the variations of sigils," Professor Mantel said, strolling her lowkey chic classroom back and forth, hands clasped behind her back. "But can anyone give me a quick refresher?"
Camilla's hand shot into the air, and I groaned internally. I doodled little daggers and skulls in the margins of my sheet of parchment.
"Yes, Ms. de Locke?"
"Sigils correspond to the various stations and roles of demons," Camilla said. "Something between a signature and a thumbprint. They also emit their own low-level power whenever inscribed on an object. It's a way of taking ownership."
"Good," Professor Mantel said. "So—"
"And," Camilla went on, "they are only assigned to pure-blood demons. That's how we rank and clarify who's truly one of us."
"Right," Professor Mantel said. She stopped pacing and leaned against her desk. "Well, not exactly. Did anyone give any thought to where sigils come from? Are they just random lines in circles arranged in patterns?"
The class looked around at each other and collectively shrugged. I shaded the sides of my doodle-skull, imagining it was Camilla's, and added a worm peeping from one of the eye sockets. Maybe it was mean of me to still be so harsh towards her when she hadn't really given me—personally—or any of my friends trouble for a record amount of time. But still, it was too satisfying not to concoct various revenge scenarios in my head.
"I—" Camilla started.
"Not asking you," Professor Mantel said, almost barked. "Let's give another student some airtime for a change. How about—Nova."
Oh, great. I had done the reading—I thought so, anyway. But it had been on Friday, and the many events of the weekend had sort of done a reset on my working memory.
"Sigils," I said. "Right." I was very clearly stalling. "They...well, they're not just random." That seemed logical enough. I racked my brain, going back to the spotty vellum pages in the library stacks. Then it clicked. "They're like pictographs. Somewhat representational. Originally they were probably derived from actual physical characteristics of various demons."
Professor Mantel nodded sharply. "Close enough. Yes, the sigils were designed to be visual references to demons even when they weren't there. Before we had last names, or addresses, or anything like that, we needed a way to quickly communicate, in any tongue, in any location, who was who, and what their status was. So rules and conventions arose for how to depict various aspects of any given demon. Over time, they became more subtle and abstract. There's really only a few unusual actual bodily attributes that we still translate directly to sigils."
"What do you mean, bodily attributes?" Camilla asked, her face screwed up as though someone had just spat on her.
Instead of answering, Professor Mantel asked another question. "Does anyone know the three unique parts of any anthropomorphic body?"
Collum raised his hand this time. Ev
en though we'd spent hours together on Saturday, I knew I couldn't catch his eye in class or I'd burst into a fit of giggles. I wasn't sure why, exactly, but maybe it was because being in on this fake relationship thing was like the world's biggest and best inside joke. Maybe I just thought he was funny. Maybe I felt comfortable around him. Maybe all that and more.
"The irises of your eyes, your thumbprints, and the lines of your palms," he said.
The comfort I'd been feeling disappeared. A shiver ran through me as soon as he said that. I stopped drawing my skull.
"That's correct," Professor Mantel said. "So your sigil acts not only as a metaphorical thumbprint, but sometimes can mimic the one you literally have. Anything unusual—anything unique, I should say—present in any of those parts of a demon's body can be transferred into their sigil."
I clenched my fist. I didn't know much about what my palm lines said about me, but I did know two things. One, it meant that maybe I was some kind of extra-powerful demon, except I found that super unlikely given that I was not only half-human but also just generally crummy at doing any kind of demon magic. Two, the only other demon I knew with the sign of the outlaw's crossing on their palm was Raines.
Wait, I guess I knew three things. Because three was that Wilder had found this out about me. So he knew the whole thing.
Camilla raised her hand again, cocking her head ever-so-innocently to the side. "Professor? I just wanted to ask whether half-demons also have sigils. Because it doesn't seem like, given all this, they should have a right to them." Her gaze flew, unsurprisingly, to me. "It's not like our kind has unlimited resources. Sigils convey power and status. It doesn't seem like something we should give to just anyone whose parents were stupid enough to interbreed."
The class did a sharp intake of breath, all at once. Shit was about to go down. Professor Mantel looked taken aback, but she also wouldn't shy away from the chance for some Socratic dialoguing and learning experiences. But before she could answer, another voice rang out. Warm, male, and gently lilting with an Irish accent.
"I don't know that that's fair," Collum said. "Actually, I know that's not fair, and it's just not right, either. What's the point of keeping someone out if they have power and abilities to contribute to our cause? We're all equally screwed if Chaos takes over, aren't we? So you'd think that having half-demons on our side would only keep our ranks strong. All hands on deck, right?"
My cheeks absolutely flamed. I knew this argument wasn't about me personally—this was Professor Mantel's class, after all, which meant theory theory and more theory. But it also wasn't not about me either. And I kind of liked seeing Collum defend my honor.
"But it's such a slippery slope," Camilla said. "What's next, we start letting in anyone who just wants to be scary? You have to draw the line somewhere."
"Maybe," Collum conceded. "But that's not the place to draw it. If you have enough demon blood to manifest powers, that should count." He'd been leaning forward in his seat a bit, and drew back, folding his arms. "Or so say I, anyway."
"Students," Professor Mantel. "This is excellent dialogue, and trust me, I'm enjoying the self-directed learning quite a lot. But we're veering a bit into philosophy here, which is not the purpose of this class. We're about to move into the manifestations of different ranks around the world, which requires a lot of explanation, and note taking"—everyone groaned—"so I'm going to have to put a pin in this and move us along in the lesson plan."
"Why can't we keep talking?"
This time, the male voice wasn't Collum's. It was Raines.
I almost snapped my neck turning around to look at him. I caught Morgan's gaze as well, and her eyes were bugged out with surprise.
"Why can't we just diverge from the lesson plan a little?" Raines went on. "We're still learning something, aren't we?"
Professor Mantel tensed her jaw. "I'm afraid these kind of curriculum decisions are beyond my, well, pay grade, as it were, Mr. Kendrick. I really can't allow us to get off track."
"That's stupid as shit," Raines said, then added, "Sorry. It just is."
"Mr. Kendrick, I don't disagree." Professor Mantel spun on her heel and turned to her chalkboard. "So, in the Western World, all the way to the Caucasus but not including Russia, we see our rankings in the following tiers..."
I tuned out a little after that, taking notes with my hand but not really with my brain. Forty minutes later, when class was finally over, I packed up my stuff with something of a small migraine pulsing behind my eyes. Mine, maybe, or possibly Raines's. I had no idea what had gotten him so hot under the collar about class. He wasn't exactly the most educationally oriented guy.
Morgan stayed behind to discuss something about the homework with Professor Mantel, so I stepped out into the hallway on my own. Across the flagstone floor, tucked into a small alcove near a giant black obelisk that gleamed in the torchlight, I saw two guys engaged in a heated discussion.
Collum and Raines.
I marched over almost immediately.
"Hey, what gives?" I said. "You guys up to something I should know about?"
"None of your business," Raines shot back.
That was bullshit. Because whether it was my power of intuition or my sense of Raines's feelings telling me, I knew this argument had something to do with me. Which made it full well my business.
"This has something to do with me," I said bluntly. "I know it."
No use beating around the bush.
"Just a private discussion between men," Collum tried to assure me. "Nothing to worry about."
Collum had done a pretty damn good job thus far at always saying the right thing. So it was almost shocking to hear him say something so absolutely tone-deaf.
"Oh, a private discussion between men?" I scoffed. "So I guess the woman you're arguing about has no place in this conversation then, huh?"
I took a small amount of pleasure in how taken aback they both looked. I felt angry, too, but that might've just been Raines coming through. The jealousy—that definitely wasn't me.
"I'm just upset that Mantel tried to end an important discussion," Raines said. He was at least somewhat sincere. I could feel it. The subject of demon purity was probably even more upsetting to him than it was to me. "That's all."
"And I was just telling him he could've left it well enough alone," Collum jumped in. "He made his point, he didn't need to go about making a fool of himself swearing at the professor and such."
Guilt. That's what I started to feel from Raines now. They were both lying. But at least he felt bad about it.
It was pretty obvious what had happened. Raines was jealous that Collum was so quick to jump in to defend half-demons, and more specifically, me. And when he'd brought that up to him after class, things got tense quickly. At the moment, though, I didn't need to push them on it. What was the use of getting Raines even more flustered? They definitely had been arguing about me. Or at least the subtext of their argument was about me. But I’d leave it alone for now. Not just because I really had no time for drama, but because even if I did, I wasn’t the kind of girl guys fought over in normal circumstances—and these circumstances were anything but normal.
"I wish we could've talked more about it, too," I said. "Thanks to both of you for trying to keep the discussion going. Really. As long as it pissed Camilla off, that's all I care about."
That seemed to calm Collum down. And I could feel that it called Raines down. Although he must’ve suspected that I knew the truth.
“What d’ya say we head back to the common room?” Collum suggested. “What with the final exetases coming up, I think we could all relax a bit beforehand, yeah?”
Ugh, I did not need to be reminded of my last exetasis, which was scheduled for the next night. After the run-in with Wilder in Westrock, there was no telling how awkward this was going to be. It made me feel legitimate pangs of deep fear wondering what Wilder might do.
Raines gave me a gentle look and a shy little smile. That alone was e
nough to almost take me aback—but not in a bad way. As much as this whole “feeling each other’s emotions” things sucked, it was nice to know that he understood what I was going through—especially when it concerned Wilder.
And as crazy as it might’ve been, I suddenly felt the urge to tell Raines about exactly where things were at with Wilder. He needed to know about what happened at Westrock.
“Actually,” I said, “you can go on ahead. I need to talk to Raines for a moment.”
Collum half-rolled his eyes, but to his credit, he didn’t pry and ask what I needed to say to Raines that I couldn’t say in front of him. Maybe that was the best part about fake boyfriends—they didn’t get jealous or controlling.
“Sure thing,” Collum said. He gave me a peck on the cheek. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
I wondered whether Collum realized that there was no need for the kiss, seeing as Raines was the only other person in sight. Part of me though—or weirdly enough, hoped—that was on purpose.
“This is about my half-brother, isn’t it?” Raines asked, as soon as Collum’s footfalls had faded.
“How could you tell?” I joked. “Oh, that’s right, the whole thing where we share each other’s feelings.”
I was so worried about my exetasis that I wasn’t even up to razzing Raines for how jealous he was feeling about Collum and me.
“Are you serious, Nova?” Raines said. “Anybody could be listening.”
He had a point there.
“You put in all this effort to your big act with Collum,” he went on, “and yet you still appear to have no idea how serious this is. You understand we’re both fucked if people find out, right? You do understand?”
“I’m sorry,” I said genuinely. “It’s just...look, that’s why I wanted to talk. Tomorrow night, the exetasis...I’m fucking scared, Raines.”
“You don’t need to tell me.”
It was a simple statement of fact: I didn’t need to tell him. He knew, felt that fear as much as I did. So it was what he said next that shocked me the most.
