by S. J. West
“Talk to him,” Kalder says. “Let him know you’re here and that he’s safe. I don’t know if he can hear your voice, but it can’t hurt to try.”
“Stay here with your dad,” I tell Isabel. “The rest of us need to search for any other survivors.”
Isabel sits down by the depression in the ground and begins talking to her unconscious father. I ask Gus to stay with her for moral support while the rest of us scour what remains of the asylum for more people. A closer inspection of the rubble reveals physical traces of the dead that I will never be able to erase from my mind. We check all of the bodies we can reach for signs of life, but that’s all they are now: bodies. Every once in a while, I catch a glimpse of a departing spirit, but it doesn’t linger for very long. Most of them evaporate into the ether as quickly as they appear. I’m grateful for their quick departure from the world of the living because talking to the dead isn’t something I want to make a habit of. I would much rather spend my time searching for people who might still be alive right now, even if such an endeavor seems futile.
A little while later, a deep guttural rumble of engines approaches us as a group of ten motorcycles driven by Thorns roll onto the grounds of the asylum. Commander Ford is easy to spot among the others since she’s the only one of us who wears a dark blue leather jacket. She pushes the kickstand down before taking her black helmet off and dismounting her bike. She does a cursory scan of the destruction around her before placing the helmet on the seat of the motorcycle.
I stop what I’m doing to greet her. I give her a brief update about what’s going on and tell her that Maximus was injured in the attack.
“So you haven’t found any other survivors here besides Isabel’s father?” she asks despondently.
“He is the only one,” I reply.
“Show me the crater you found,” she orders.
While the other Thorns help search the area for signs of life, the commander and I walk over to the epicenter of the supernova. As we stand on the edge of the crater, Commander Ford peers down to look at the only thing that remains: the stone archway.
“What is that thing?” I ask her. “And why does it have so many runes on it? What are they meant to do?”
“They are binding runes,” she tells me with a troubled frown.
“What were they binding?” I ask warily since Isabel’s father had called the person or thing in the room a beast.
“A very dangerous, dark mage,” she replies.
“Why would Darcy go supernova right outside this person’s room?”
“I have no idea,” she says, sounding as mystified as I am concerning my stepsister’s suicide mission. “But it appears they are both gone now, so we may never know what Darcy’s true intentions were.” Commander Ford turns to look at me. “Have you heard anything about Maximus’s condition yet?”
I shake my head.
“I have to say that I’m a bit surprised you trust Coltan Prince with your godfather’s life. For all you know, Coltan could have taken him across the river as a prize for his father instead of to the hospital.”
“Coltan wouldn’t do that,” I say confidently, somewhat offended on Coltan’s behalf. “That thought never even crossed my mind. He’s sincere in wanting to start a new life for himself on our side of Briardale. In fact, he may have found another artifact we can use to awaken Briar Rose.”
Her eyes light up. “What is it?” she asks.
“We’re calling it the golden apple,” I tell her. “It’s spoken about in one of the books Coltan brought over today. It describes a place with winged beasts, exactly like Henry Hollan talked about seeing. Maybe he wasn’t that crazy after all.”
“It wasn’t just his claims that he saw beasts in some fanciful realm that got him sent here, Cin,” she tells me.
“What did he do that was so terrible?” I ask, hoping to finally have my curiosity satisfied about Isabel’s father.
“He would take Isabel out into the woods for days, or sometimes even weeks, no matter the weather because he said he was waiting for the portal to the world he found to open up again. One night, while I was out on patrol, I found Isabel practically frozen to death in those woods. The only reason she didn’t die was because people who lived in the area called in complaints about a madman yelling up at the moon at all hours of the night. Henry was placed in the asylum to get the treatment he needed for his mania, and Isabel was allowed to stay in her father’s home with her nanny until we recruited her to go to the academy.”
“Was her father always eccentric?”
“A little, but after he returned from this ‘other world’ he kept ranting on about, he was a hundred times worse. He was obsessed with getting back there.”
“And now that we have proof that it might actually exist, do you think he should have been kept here all this time?”
“Since he was a danger to himself and to those around him, I believe it was necessary.”
The whirring sound of the ambulance’s siren interrupts our conversation.
“Why don’t you go with Isabel to the hospital?” Commander Ford suggests. “That way you can check on Maximus yourself. As soon as you know anything about his condition, contact me on my com bracelet, but use my personal channel. I would rather not announce his condition on an open one.”
“Yes, Commander.” I’m grateful for her order because going to the hospital is precisely what I want to do right now. I want to check on Maximus, and I feel a desperate need to be with Coltan again. Death surrounds me in this place, but if I’m with Coltan, I’m certain I’ll feel alive again.
When we make it to the padded hole Henry was trapped inside of, Kalder and Thorn Starling already have Isabel’s father out of it and onto a gurney. Isabel tries to maintain her composure as she watches them strap her dad down, but I can see the toll her father’s condition is taking on her. I walk over and place my right arm around her waist, hoping to instill her with some of my strength.
“Let’s go,” I say. “I’m coming with you to the hospital. Gus, would you please follow us over there in her car?”
“Absolutely,” he replies as he takes the keys from Isabel.
Isabel nods and allows me to lead her to the ambulance. Kalder and a female EMT ride in the back with us while Thorn Starling drives the vehicle. Kalder keeps an eye on the monitors the EMT hooked Isabel’s father up to, and I feel like I’m looking at a totally different person.
“It’s good to see you again, Dr. Blackstone,” the EMT says as she places the last of the leads on Henry’s chest to connect him to the heart monitor.
“Thanks, Gladys,” Kalder replies as he continues to keep his eyes on Henry’s vitals.
“We’ve missed you at the hospital,” she says. “Is there any chance you’ll be coming back?”
“No,” he replies with no hesitation. “I’ll help out where I can for now, but I won’t be coming back on a permanent basis.”
Gladys’s shoulders slump at his answer, but she doesn’t push him on the subject.
I suddenly feel something crawling inside my hair and almost swat at it until I realize Anwen just jumped from Isabel to me.
“I didn’t know Kalder was a healer,” she whispers to me. “Did you, Cin?”
I shake my head slightly because I can’t speak to her with Gladys so close by.
I wish my reasons for wanting Henry alive were altruistic, but a selfish part of me knows we may not be able to find our way to the hidden world he’s been to without his help. One thing bothers me though. Commander Ford said Henry came back different. It seems like his mind was broken by whatever he experienced in this new realm, and that frightens me.
“Why were you so close to the asylum?” I ask Kalder. His presence there, while appreciated, was quite unexpected.
“I . . .” he says as he briefly glances in Isabel’s direction before returning his gaze to me. “I knew one of the nurses there. I’ve been trying to sweet-talk her into letting Isabel visit her father.”
/> “You did that for me?” Isabel asks, equally surprised as I am by Kalder’s kindness.
He shrugs his shoulders and checks the monitors. “I tried, but obviously I wasn’t charming enough to make her break the rules for me.”
“Thanks for trying,” Isabel says. “I appreciate that.”
Kalder nods but doesn’t meet Isabel’s eyes.
The rest of the ride to the hospital is mostly done in silence. I don’t have the strength or desire to make idle chitchat with anyone. All I want right now is to have Coltan hold me. Admitting that to myself is somewhat sobering. I haven’t felt like I needed anyone since my father’s passing. I’ve always tried to be a strong leader for my squad, and being the best cadet at the academy meant I couldn’t show any vulnerability.
The events of today have taken their toll on me emotionally, and I don’t believe I can handle anything else bad happening right now. I’ve seen dead bodies before, obviously, but I’ve never witnessed so many innocent lives taken all at once. What was Darcy trying to do? Was she trying to destroy the beast the Circle was keeping locked away in the asylum, or was she trying to release it from its prison? Could the beast be this “she” that Darcy and Briar Rose were referring to? If so, surely, she didn’t survive the supernova, but if she did, where is she now?
Maximus’s hasty departure earlier begins to make more sense to me now. He became upset when I told him Darcy mentioned this mysterious “she” when we captured her. Did he suspect that Darcy intended to break the beast out of its cell? We did capture Darcy easily, and that fact has always bugged me a little. Considering the magic she’d harvested from eating all of those fae hearts, she could have fought us harder than she did. Perhaps her scheme all along was to be taken to the asylum to break the beast out of its cell. Considering the powerful binding runes on the archway, maybe the only way to release it was by going supernova and destroying the building that made up the chamber itself. To me, that explanation makes the most sense, but Maximus is one of the few people who can tell me if my assumptions are correct.
I pray my godfather’s wounds aren’t mortal ones. Yes, I do need answers from him, but more importantly, I need him in my life. He’s taken the place of my father in many ways, and the thought of losing him is inconceivable to me.
Chapter 6
Kalder remains by Henry’s side as he’s wheeled into the emergency room. Gus pulls up in Isabel’s car and walks over to us, offering to take care of Isabel while I go find Maximus and Coltan.
“As soon as you know how he is, let me know,” Gus requests of me.
“I will,” I promise him. “I’ll call you both on Isabel’s bracelet when I know something.”
While Gus walks with Isabel to the surgical wing of the hospital, I go to the only elevator in the building that ascends all the way up to the top floor. The fifth floor is reserved for Thorns and those who work in the Guild who need medical attention. It’s the most secure floor in the facility because the only way to access it is via a biometric scanner. Once I place my hand over the scanner at the top of the panel, the doors close and the elevator begins its swift ascent.
When the doors open, I see Thorn Kimp and Thorn Stone standing guard directly across from the elevator as they keep a watchful eye on who accesses the floor. Thorn Kimp offers to walk me down to Maximus’s room.
“Do you know how he is?” I ask her as we walk side by side.
“The doctors say that he suffered trauma to his brain, which has caused some swelling,” she tells me.
“Is he awake?” I ask.
Thorn Kimp shakes her head. “He’s in a coma,” she replies. “Once the swelling goes down, they’ll have a better idea if the damage to his brain is permanent or temporary.”
“Have they given any odds on whether or not he’ll still be him when he wakes up?” I ask as I feel my hands begin to tremble. I ball them both up so Thorn Kimp doesn’t see that I’m shaking. The possibility of losing Maximus is bringing on a panic attack that I don’t want my sister Thorn to know about.
“Right now, they can’t even guess,” she tells me. “I’m sorry, Cin. I know how close you are to Commander Kane.”
“Could you do me a favor and contact Commander Ford to give her an update? You’ll need to use her personal channel. She doesn’t want his condition broadcast to everyone,” I say as we approach the sliding glass doors of Maximus’s room.
“Sure, I can do that for you. If you need anything else, just let me know,” Thorn Kimp tells me.
“Thank you. I will,” I reply.
Through the door, I can see my godfather lying in a hospital bed located on the left side of the medical suite, covered from the chest down by a white sheet and a dark blue blanket. He’s hooked up to various monitors to keep track of his vital signs, and it appears that he’s breathing on his own just fine since he doesn’t have a tube going down his throat. Coltan is in the room, but he has his back to the door and doesn’t see me yet. He’s standing in front of a wall of glass in the room, peering out at a city in turmoil. I’m sure this isn’t how he pictured his first day on this side of the river.
As soon as I slide the door open, the noise draws Coltan’s attention away from the outside world. Relief visibly washes the worry from his expression, and I wonder what he was thinking about to make him look so concerned.
He strides over to me and asks, “Do you know if everyone else is all right?”
“The girls, Gus, and Kalder are all fine,” I assure him.
Even though I’m sure Coltan doesn’t really care about Kalder’s welfare, I included him so that Coltan understands that I consider Kalder a friend now. He’s a bit like the brooding older brother I never had. I didn’t like him very much when we first met, but I have to admit that he’s growing on me.
“I found Isabel’s father underneath some of the rubble at the asylum,” I say.
“Alive?” he asks.
“Yes, but just barely. Isabel and Gus are downstairs waiting for him to come out of surgery. Did you know Kalder is a doctor?”
Coltan nods. “I knew he used to be.”
Coltan holds out one of his hands to me, and I gladly accept the comfort he’s offering. His arms wrap around me, and I melt against him, allowing myself to feel vulnerable for one of the few times in my life. When you’re trained to be a Thorn, you’re also trained not to react emotionally to stressful situations. That was a hard lesson for me to learn because I also had to contend with my panic attacks. Today, I’ve reached my limit. If one more bad thing happens, I think I might have a mental breakdown.
“I’ve never seen so many dead bodies before,” I whisper to Coltan as gruesome images of the dead flit through my mind one after another. “I lost count of how many we found buried underneath what was left of the asylum. When Commander Ford ordered me to come here with Isabel, I felt relieved because I couldn’t take seeing any more death. Do you think that makes me weak?”
“I think it makes you human, Cin,” he says, holding me a tad tighter.
I allow myself a moment to feel like a regular eighteen-year-old girl and not a Thorn as I snuggle a little deeper into Coltan’s warmth. As I rest against him and look over at Maximus lying helplessly in his bed, hopelessness creeps into my heart and laces its icy fingers around my soul. What if Maximus never awakens? Or what if he does and he doesn’t remember anything about his life? What if he doesn’t remember me? They are all real possibilities and all equally unbearable.
“He’ll be all right,” Coltan says as he glides his hands up and down my back.
“You don’t know that,” I whisper, just in case fate is eavesdropping. I certainly don’t want to be the one who gives her any ideas.
“Call it a gut feeling,” he says.
I close my eyes to block out the sight of Maximus’s prone form.
“Hey,” Coltan says as he places his right hand underneath my chin to make me look into his soft brown eyes, “don’t lose hope. Sometimes that’s the only thing that k
eeps us from losing who we are, and I don’t believe you’re someone who gives up. You’re a fighter, Cin. That’s who you’ve always been.”
“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t,” I confess. “Doing what I do means cutting off some of my emotions when I deal with the public. I’ve been taught not to get too involved in people’s lives, because as soon as I start seeing someone as a person, I empathize with their plight and run the risk of having my judgment compromised.”
“Then let’s make a deal,” Coltan says. “When we’re alone, I want you to just be Cin and not Thorn d’Rella. Let your walls down when you’re with me because I will never judge the way you think or feel. All I want to do is support the beautiful person you are, both inside and out. Maybe if we stick together, we can both find our way in this world.”
If the circumstances were different, I could easily see myself kissing Coltan in this moment. But the time and place isn’t right yet. As I peer into his eyes and see the love he has for me, I feel unworthy of such an intense emotion from him. I know he loves me, but I still don’t know why he does. I’m not all that lovable. I can be harsh at times and do exactly what Gretel accused me of earlier in the car. Sometimes I do use my anger as a shield to prevent people from hurting me, but it’s hard to quit using a natural defense mechanism. It’s been a part of who I am ever since my father died and left me to survive in this world all alone. If I don’t let too many people get close to me, there’s less of a chance that they can hurt me.
“You scare me,” I tell Coltan because I feel like he deserves to know the truth. When he looks confused by my words, I realize I have to explain what I mean. “If I let you in, I’ll become vulnerable and you’ll have the power to hurt me.”
“I would never do that,” he’s quick to say.
“That isn’t a promise you can keep,” I tell him. “You can control what you do, but you can’t control when you’ll die. No one can.”
“Everyone dies, Cin,” he points out. “You can’t live your life being scared of death.”
