by S. J. West
“Why are the two of you cooking?” I ask, since I’ve never seen either of them be so domestic.
“Kalder is going to teach us how to make a loaded potato soup,” Scarlet informs me with a small sniff as the onions continue to wreak havoc on her. “Apparently he thinks we need to learn how to fend for ourselves.”
I smile at the notion that our dashing sea captain has taken on the monumental task of teaching my friends how to cook. Since I’m the only one out of my squad who knows about the heartbreak Kalder suffered from losing his sister and her family, I wonder if he views us as his new tribe and is unconsciously treating us like he would his own sister. I expect that’s the case, and I hope by opening himself up to us we’ll be able to help him heal his shattered spirit.
“Where are the guys?” I ask, noting that none of them are in the kitchen.
“Gus went to the study to call his wife and let her know we’re back,” Gretel says. “Kalder took Coltan with him to the backyard. He said your stepfamily grew a small vegetable garden way in the back. They walked out there to get some shallots and carrots to add into the soup.”
As if they heard us mention their names, Kalder and Coltan walk into the kitchen. Each man is carrying a basket filled with vegetables. I even spy some butternut squash and radishes along with the shallots and carrots they originally went out there to harvest.
“I’m surprised my stepfamily kept a garden,” I say as the men set their baskets on the kitchen counter beside the sink. “It’s hard to believe they tended it enough to keep anything alive.”
“People can surprise you,” Kalder says as he pushes up the sleeves of his black sweater so he can wash the vegetables.
“Cin!” Gus says as he scurries into the kitchen, startling us all with his loud shout and abrupt entrance. “Maximus is awake!”
I instantly forgive Gus for scaring me half to death.
“While I was speaking with Marlene on the phone, he woke up!” He attempts to catch his breath before saying, “How crazy is that?”
“I need to get over there,” I tell the others, finally feeling like something is going right for once.
“I’ll go with you,” Coltan offers, reaching out to touch my arm.
“Do you want us to come too?” Gretel asks as she lays the knife in her hand on the wooden cutting board.
“Not yet,” I tell her with a small shake of my head. “Let me go over there first to make sure he’s up for visitors.”
“Why don’t we make the soup and then come to the hospital?” Kalder proposes. “That way we can bring everyone something to eat. I’m sure Isabel and her father would rather have what we’re making than what they’ll be serving in the cafeteria.”
I nod in agreement. “That sounds like a good plan. Call me on my com bracelet when you get to the hospital.” I walk over to a drawer by the refrigerator and retrieve a set of car keys from it. Since the windows of my car were blown out by the supernova, I decide to take my father’s car that Maximus parked in the garage for me to use.
“Cin, I’ll meet you at the hospital in a bit. I’d like to see how Maximus is and check in on Marlene,” Gus says.
“See you there,” I say.
As Coltan and I follow Gus out of the kitchen, I casually reach out and grab his hand with mine. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it, but he tightens his hold on me ever so slightly. It’s a small gesture on his part, but it’s one that tells me that I’ve made him happy by openly showing affection toward him in front of all my friends. I’ve always had a hard time wearing my emotions on my sleeve, but considering everything we’ve been through together, I’m not surprising anyone by letting them know I care for Coltan as more than just a friend.
“Would you mind driving?” I ask him when we reach the large garage on the east side of the house. “I don’t feel like doing it.”
“Of course. I don’t mind,” he says as we let go of each other so I can drop the keys in his outstretched hand.
“Thanks,” I say.
Once we’re on the road to the hospital, Coltan glances over in my direction as if he’s waiting for me to say something. I’m bursting to tell him what I learned about my mother, and I weigh the pros and cons of doing so.
“You know, you told us a lot about what Snow White said to you, but you spoke to Suri for a while too. You didn’t say anything about that conversation. Was none of what she said important?” Coltan’s tone is conversational and not demanding information in any way.
“I’m a little afraid of what you’ll think of me after you hear what she told me,” I confess, chancing a glance in his direction to gauge his reaction to my admission.
“There is literally nothing you could say that would make me think badly of you, Cin,” he tells me without an ounce of reservation.
“But you don’t know the truth about me either,” I say. My insides tremble at thinking about divulging the truth. Will Coltan look at me differently after he learns that I’m part angel and that my mother tried to kill me after I was born? What was so wrong with me that she felt the need to murder her own baby? Is Suri right about me being an abomination? Was I never supposed to exist in this world, and was my mother simply correcting a sin she committed by ending my life before it even had begun?
Coltan looks puzzled by my cryptic statement, and I notice him eyeing the public park by the Lonely River up ahead. He pulls into its empty parking lot and brings the car to a halt before shutting off the engine. He turns in his seat to face me, making the black leather creak under his weight as he gives me his undivided attention.
“What truth are you referring to?” he asks but doesn’t wait for me to answer. “From what I know, you’re fiercely loyal to your friends. You always do your best to take care of people, even if the only thing you know about them is that they need help. You’re the bravest and strongest person I’ve ever met. To be honest, I don’t even understand how you’ve been able to keep your sanity the past few days with everything that’s been going on in your life. Like I said earlier, Cin, I seriously doubt there’s anything you could say that would make me think poorly about you.”
“My mother was an angel,” I blurt out, because if I don’t tell someone my secret soon, I might lose my mind. I watch Coltan’s reaction to my words closely, but the only emotion he displays is confusion.
“Is that what Suri told you?” he asks. After I nod my head, he then asks, “How do you know she was telling you the truth?”
“Do you remember my mother’s crystal slippers?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“Snow White was wearing a pair exactly like them. Plus, she backed up what Suri said about my mother being an angel.”
“I see,” he replies with a troubled frown. “I’m sorry,” he tells me as the lines across his brow furrow. “I don’t understand why you consider being half angel a bad thing.”
I sigh because I’ll have to tell him the rest of the story before he fully understands my dilemma.
“Suri also told me that . . .” I find it harder than I imagined to say the words out loud to him, but I trust in my feelings for Coltan and rely on his love for me. He hasn’t said those words since we left the island, but he doesn’t have to. I see it in every shared glance and every touch. He won’t judge me harshly on something I had no control over. I take in a deep breath before I continue. “She said my mother tried to kill me after I was born.” I wait a moment for that troubling bit of news to sink in before I tell him the rest. “She also said that Maximus killed her in order to save my life. That’s what caused the rift between him and my father.”
“Oh, Cin,” Coltan says. His eyes burn with compassion for me. “That can’t be the whole story.”
“Maybe,” I reply as my head reels with all the information I gathered today. “I really need to ask Maximus to tell me what happened, no matter how bad it is.”
“Even if it’s true, Cin, you were only a baby when all of that happened,” he points out. “It sounds like your m
om had some type of mental issue because no mother in her right mind would try to kill her own child. None of that was your fault. I’m just glad Maximus saved you, because if he hadn’t, I never would have found you.”
“I actually found you,” I remind him, smiling a bit in spite of the weight of our conversation.
Coltan returns my smile. “So you did,” he replies with a slight nod of his head. “And I’ll always be grateful for that. If you hadn’t come along when you did that day, I’m not sure what might have happened to me.”
I hold my left hand out, palm up, for Coltan to take. He holds my hand as if it’s become natural to him now.
“Do you believe in fate?” I ask him, watching his hazel eyes for an indication of his thoughts.
“I didn’t before that day, but after I met you, that changed,” he says candidly. “What are the odds that you would find me in that library a few seconds after I started having one of my seizures? One in a million? One in a trillion?”
“I don’t know,” I reply, feeling extremely lucky. “Fairly astronomical though, I suppose.”
“And this connection we share,” he says, stressing his words by moving our hands up and down. “There’s no one else in the world that makes every cell in my body tingle just from one touch. That has to mean something, Cin.”
“Maybe it’s the angel in me that causes it,” I suggest because neither of us have a better explanation. “That’s something else I need to ask Maximus about.”
“Then it sounds like you need to see him as soon as possible.” Coltan doesn’t let go of my hand right away to resume our journey to the hospital. Instead, he looks at me seriously and says, “Thank you for sharing what you learned today with me. I’m sure this is probably something you would normally share with your squad, and it means a lot to me that you told me first.”
“I trust you,” I tell him. “And I’m sorry I got you mixed up in all of this madness we’re facing. It hasn’t given you much time to mourn your mother’s passing.”
“That’s probably for the best,” he tells me. “I don’t think wallowing in my own grief would please my mother very much. I did that while she was in the coma. All she ever wanted was for me to find happiness.” He changes his hold on my hand so our fingers lace together perfectly. “Now that I have, I think a better way to honor her memory would be to live the life she gave me. I’ll never take your trust in me for granted, Cin, and I’ll always be here when you need me, no matter what.”
“I needed to hear that,” I admit as the muscles in my body relax. I didn’t realize how tense I was before I told Coltan the change in my reality. “My life’s gotten so crazy I feel like I’m being torn in a million different directions.”
“Then let me be your center,” he proposes. “When you feel like you’ve been given more than you can handle, tell me, and I’ll whisk you away to a place where you don’t have to think about anything or talk to anyone if you don’t want to.”
“And what magical realm of existence will allow that to happen?” I ask, finding his suggestion ludicrous but charming nonetheless.
“Hmm, let me work on that one,” he says as he gives me a small wink. “I’m sure I can figure something out.”
Coltan lifts the hand he’s holding to his lips and lightly presses them against the back of it. He’s done this once before, and exactly like the first time, the gentle brush of his mouth against my skin sends small bolts of lightning throughout my body. I expect him to let my hand go and return his attention to getting me to the hospital, but instead, his lips linger against my flesh as he kisses the curve of my wrist, sending yet another series of small electrifying shocks from the tips of my fingers to the ends of my toes. When he turns my hand over and acts as if he intends to kiss the more sensitive skin on the inside of my wrist, I involuntarily flinch.
Coltan lifts his head a fraction to look into my eyes. “Do you want me to stop?”
I lightly bite the right side of my bottom lip and shake my head because I can’t seem to get any words out.
Coltan smiles at me as if he can sense how much I want him to continue kissing me the way he is.
He leans down and gently kisses the inside of my wrist like a tease before releasing his tender hold on my hand and sitting back in his seat.
“If I ever do something that makes you feel uncomfortable,” he says, “all you have to do is tell me.”
“I will,” I say softly as my body continues to absorb the lingering effects of his kisses.
“Some guys consider the word ‘no’ from a girl as a challenge, but I don’t. No means no in my world, Cin, and I’ll never think less of you for saying it. I would much rather have you feel at ease with me than do things because you feel like I want you to. Moments like this are a lot more enjoyable when we both want them to happen.”
“Trust me. I’ll let you know if you go too far,” I assure him. “I’ve never been shy about telling people what I think.”
Coltan smiles. “I knew that about you the first time we met, and I definitely got the message the second time we saw each other, but I wouldn’t want you to be any other way. A woman who knows what she wants and when she wants it is the kind of person I want in my life.”
Coltan turns to face the windshield again so he can resume our drive to the hospital. I am desperate to see Maximus again, but I’m also apprehensive about hearing the answers he’ll give me to the questions I intend to ask him. I consider chickening out and waiting until he’s released from the hospital before I ask questions about my mother, but I know I won’t be able to do that. I need to know the circumstances surrounding my birth and her death, whether it’s what I want to hear or not.
Chapter 16
When we reach the fifth floor of the hospital, I notice Thorn Grace standing guard in the hallway. As we exchange greetings, I hear a ruckus coming from the other end of the corridor.
“Why would you do that?” Gus yells at Marlene.
His outburst draws all of our attention, and I can tell that he and Marlene are having a heated discussion. In all the years I’ve known him, I can’t recall ever seeing Gus in such a tizzy. I’ve also never seen Marlene point her finger at him as she makes a fuss in a much quieter voice.
“What’s going on?” I ask Thorn Grace as I watch the strange interaction between Gus and his wife.
“I have no idea,” Thorn Grace replies with a shake of her head in dismay. “They have been arguing about something for the last couple of minutes.”
“What should we do?” Coltan asks me with a sideways glance at the angry couple.
“We’re going to see Maximus,” I tell him. “I’m sure the two of them can work out their problems on their own.”
Coltan follows me to Maximus’s room while Gus and Marlene are so engrossed in their argument that they don’t even notice our presence. When we step into the hospital room, Maximus is standing in front of the paned glass wall of the room dressed in a white hospital robe, looking out at the city he helps protect and provide for on a daily basis. He must hear the door open because he turns around as we walk inside.
Unexpected tears of joy blur my vision when I see him, and I find myself rushing toward him. I faintly notice that he’s holding two sheets of paper in his hands, but neither of us seem too concerned about them as he opens his arms wide for me to walk into. When his arms wrap around me, protection and love surround me as well.
“I was so worried about you,” I tell him, feeling like I’ve been given a gift.
I feel Maximus kiss the top of my head. “I could say the same thing. Marlene told me where you’ve been, Cin. I’m so glad you made it back safe and sound.”
“I have a lot to tell you,” I say as I hug him even tighter around the waist and allow my head to lay against his chest for a little while longer.
“I’m sure you do,” he says. I notice he doesn’t make a move to end our embrace either.
I give myself the luxury of hugging Maximus for a few seconds more befo
re I let him go so we can talk about what happened in the City of White.
“It’s good to see you again, Coltan,” Maximus says as he walks up to him and shakes his hand.
“We were all relieved when Gus told us you were awake, sir,” Coltan replies as he shakes my godfather’s hand.
At that moment, Gus and Marlene walk back into the room. Both of them look flustered, which tells me they didn’t resolve whatever problem they are having. Marlene gasps and stops dead in her tracks when she sees Maximus. Her reaction makes me wonder if he’s supposed to be in bed instead of wandering around the room.
Gus looks at Marlene then back at Maximus.
“Seriously, Marlene?” he says with an annoyed flap of his hand. “You left it out where he could find it?”
“I didn’t think he would get out of bed so soon,” she says, defending herself.
Gus exhales deeply as he regards Maximus.
“You shouldn’t have read that yet,” Gus says to him. “You’re in no condition to deal with that news.”
“It’s all right, Gus,” Maximus says. “Don’t be mad at Marlene. She didn’t do anything wrong. I knew most of what’s in this letter before I read it.”
“You did?” Gus asks, looking truly astonished. “You never said anything.”
“I wasn’t a hundred percent sure,” Maximus admits. “But I guessed it a few years back.”
I look between Gus and Maximus in complete confusion because I have no idea what’s going on.
“What are the two of you talking about?” I ask as I wait for one of them to explain.
Maximus looks over at Gus and Marlene. “Would the two of you mind giving us a few minutes alone?”
Both Gus and Marlene nod their heads as they make their way out of the room. Sensing Maximus needs to talk to me privately, Coltan starts to walk out with them.
“Coltan,” Maximus calls out.
Coltan stops halfway to the door and turns around.
“Yes?” he says to Maximus.
“I would like for you to stay,” my godfather requests as he stretches out a hand to the small couch facing the glass wall, indicating that he wishes for Coltan to sit there. Maximus looks over at me and tilts his head slightly, expecting me to take a seat as well. Once Coltan and I are sitting next to one another, Maximus walks up to Coltan and hands him one of the folded sheets of paper in his hand.
