by T. S. Joyce
“Not good enough,” the shifter said rudely.
“Here’s what I think,” Vyr said in a voice as cold and smooth as whiskey on the rocks.
“Horace,” Torren warned, not giving up his real name.
“I think you’re here for me,” Vyr said, ignoring Torren. “I think they brought in a specialist when people figured out I was here. Am I right? Something’s building? I can feel it. My crew can feel it. I burned some of the woods and people saw the dragon, but it’s been quiet since then. Silent. Doesn’t make sense. But you,” Vyr growled, angling his head. “You make more sense. Polar bear. You’ve had quite the career.”
“Careful, dragon.”
“Kicked off force after force…for excessive force. And then you disappeared for the last five years. Where’d you go, Hank Butte? Did you go get yourself some special training somewhere? Training that made you the man for this job?”
Sheriff Butte gave him a toothy, feral smile. “I’ll see you soon, Vyr. Enjoy your night.” He nodded once and then sauntered off to his cruiser. The way he’d said that, he might as well have been saying “Enjoy your freedom while you can.”
Candace felt sick as she watched the police cruisers pull out of the clearing and disappear into Vyr’s woods.
When Candace couldn’t even hear the rumble of the car engines anymore, Vyr rounded on her. “You called to me. I was asleep and I had a dream, and in that dream, it was just a voice. Your voice. Calling me to you. You said Torren needed me. I woke up choking on fire.”
“Oh, shit,” Torren growled, pulling Candace behind him. “Vyr, this is on me. She was scared and saw me getting hurt.”
“It was all I could do not to Change and burn this damn town to the ground looking for you.”
Nox lifted his hand like he was in grade school. “Actually, I can take some of the credit for stopping the Change.”
“You tried to piss on me!” Vyr roared. “You missed, and now I have to change my bed sheets because they have urine on them. I’m so fucking sick of people pissing on me!”
“Well, it worked when Nevada did it! I didn’t know what else to do. And P. S.,” Nox yelled, “You could say ‘Thank you, Nox, for stopping my Change because Torren wasn’t here.’ I went charging into your bedroom worried because there was a damn fire. You were terrifying and I still tried to stop you! I am the fucking MVP of tonight.” Nox bent, picked up a handful of snow, and chucked it at Vyr’s face. “You suck and you make a terrible dragon and I’m glad I pissed in your bed.” As he walked away, he muttered. “And P. P. S. I’m gonna pee on your fuckin’ sheets every time you piss me off, you scaly-lizard-dick-turd-flake.” He tossed a middle finger over his shoulder and disappeared into the smoking hole in the wall instead of using the front door.
Vyr stood frozen, his cherry-red face speckled with snow and his silver dragon eyes wide.
Torren cleared his throat. “I think I should take this opportunity to tell you I got in a fight with a couple of silverbacks tonight. It went bad and one of them drove a Ford Mustang through the front wall of the sawmill. And I bit Candace, and she bit me back, soooo…I think we’ll go inside now and let you process this. You know…having a new crew member.”
Torren made his way to the hole in the wall while Candace stood there with her face all scrunched up, wishing she had a way with words that would make Vyr look less enraged. “Can I get you a beer? Or…something? Alpha?”
A dinosaur rumble emanated from him as he glared at her. Vyr was terrifying.
“Right. I’ll just be inside if you need anything. Sorry about calling you in my head, and the…” She waved her hand at the charred hole in his bedroom wall. A flame blazed up and then died in a bout of bad timing. “Goodnight, Vyr.”
And then she followed the boys through the hole and ignored the scent of smoke and Nox’s piss that filled Vyr’s room.
It hit her as Torren and Nox came back into the room dragging a massive, blue tarp and a long length of rope—she was a part of this. She was welcomed. Invited in. A member. One of them.
The boys worked in silence to get the hole covered, and Nevada came to stand beside her. “I didn’t want to talk to the police,” she said softly. “I don’t like talking to anyone but the boys. And you. You’re okay, too.”
With a sigh, Candace draped her arm around Nevada’s shoulder and they watched the boys.
Nox moved the tarp and shouted outside, “Hey Vyr, can you check on Mr. Diddles?”
Nox and Torren jerked out of the way of a golf ball-sized sphere of fire that blasted through the tarp.
“His name isn’t fucking Mr. Diddles!” Vyr yelled.
“I never called him Fucking Mr. Diddles. That’s a terrible name!” Nox hollered back.
Vyr let off a long, prehistoric bellow that shook the whole house. Torren sighed tiredly and stared at her like are-you-sure-you’re-up-for-this-mess?
But even with the rough ending to the night, she was still here, arm around Nevada, her new friend, with the boys. Claiming mark still tender on her neck, and newly paired with a man she was falling hard for. She wasn’t eating a microwave dinner over the sink in her apartment alone, dreading the roach season.
Now, for better or worse, she was part of a crew.
Sure, it was arguably the worst crew in the whole world…but it was hers.
And that counted for a hell of a lot.
Chapter Eleven
Dad’s tiger was the most familiar thing in the whole world. He was a big, powerful, dominant, rogue. He walked gracefully in front of her, the forest alive with cottonwood fluff and flying bugs. Everything was so bright and saturated with the midday light. She didn’t recognize these woods, but she didn’t mind. Dad was here. Candace was safe.
Her little paw sank in the soft earth into one of Dad’s prints. Someday she was going to grow big and strong like him. He paused and looked at her over his shoulder.
I’m here, Dad, sticking close like you taught me.
He was panting, but not from exhaustion. It was hot here. And foggy... No. Smoky. Dad’s gold eyes were relaxed, though. Come on, Little Cubby.
Coming, Dad. Candace bounced forward, determined to be big and tough like him. She rubbed her little body against his leg. I love you, Dad. I’ll always love you. You’re the best dad. Puuuuuurrrrrrr.
He licked roughly up her neck the wrong way, and she shook her head to get rid of the tingly sensation of her fur standing against the grain.
Now it smelled like smoke, and she scowled and sneezed. Gross smell. Not like a regular fire, but something more sinister. Her heart started beating faster, and she was getting a little scared. But Dad still looked steady and wasn’t rushing his pace when he began walking again. She felt watched, and when she scanned the smoky woods, there were people standing around, watching them. Men and women, all their eyes glowing—shifters. Dad?
Everything is fine, his quick glance said. They’re friends.
We don’t have friends.
Dad was walking faster now. Gotta keep up. Move little legs!
“You’re supposed to be here,” a man said.
Candace skittered to a stop and crouched down to her belly. The ferns tickled her tummy. She flattened her ears and hissed because the man was scary. Tall. Muscular. His eyes were glowing green, and on his arm was a giant raven. He walked toward her with a deep limp, then stopped and adjusted his stance. He said it again. “You’re supposed to be here. For him.”
She didn’t understand, but the man and the raven looked off to the left, and when she followed their gaze, her heart stuttered.
There was a massive silverback standing on all fours, tall and proud next to a giant, blue dragon. Kong, Torren’s father, and Damon Daye, Vyr’s father. And both were watching a small red dragon, standing on the ground, wings tucked, blasting a stream of fire at a half-grown gorilla. Torren. Vyr. Torren shrank back and roared in pain.
Stop, Vyr! You’re hurting him!
Vyr clamped his mouth closed, tense
d to jump, and beat his wings hard until he was airborne. But then Torren was charging. Fearless Torren. Kong. HavoK. He leapt high in the air and wrapped his arms around Vyr just as he retracted his wings to beat them against the air currents again. His arm was blistered and mangled from the fire but Torren held on tight as they pummeled to the earth. They crashed hard, splitting the ground under their force. The crack in the earth snaked straight to Candace and stopped right at her tiny paws.
“Stop, or you’ll hurt me! You’ll hurt me, and I’ll never be your friend again. I won’t be your friend, Vyr. I won’t!” Torren bellowed.
Everything froze, the entire scene before her. Torren was still as ice, arms wrapped around the frozen Red Dragon. The man with the raven didn’t move a muscle. There was no rustle of leaves, no movement of small forest animals. There was silence. There was stillness.
Dad?
But when she looked for him, he wasn’t there anymore. In his place was a white tiger with small stripes and one blue eye, one green.
“Mom?” Candace looked down at herself. Her tiny paws had disappeared. In their place were human hands covered in her black winter mittens. She wore black pants and a black sweater. She was grown. “Mom?” she asked louder.
“I’m sorry I left.”
“Why?” she asked, tears burning her eyes. “Why did you do that?”
The smoke was growing thicker, wafting through the woods and covering everything.
The white tiger sat there staring at her with the saddest eyes. Candace could hear her mom’s voice so clearly in her head. “I just couldn’t stay. You’ll do better. You won’t be like me. Everything is going to be okay, Little Cubby. But first you have to do something brave.”
“What?”
“Help. Your. Man.”
And then dragon’s fire blasted through the smoke and swallowed up the white tiger.
“No!” Candace screamed, lurching up in bed.
Bedroom? Yes, she was in a bedroom. She couldn’t breathe. She was in bed, not the woods. A mattress on the ground. An old black and white picture of Torren and his family on the wall. A lamp glowing with soft light in the corner by the neatly folded piles of clothes.
She searched the bed, but she was alone. Torren’s side was cold. They couldn’t have been asleep long because it was still dark out.
A low, vibrating rumble filled the room, and Candace froze in terror. Slowly, she forced her gaze to the red-haired behemoth leaning against the open doorframe. He wore blue linen pajama pants but no shirt. His torso was covered with tattoos, and his arms were crossed over his chest, making his biceps look intimidatingly big. Vyr stared at her with those silver snake eyes. “I saw that dream. Your demons are loud tonight,” he murmured in a cold voice.
“D-did I wake you?”
“No. Torren’s demon was louder.”
“HavoK?”
Vyr nodded once. He angled his face and studied her. “I know he fights. I know he can’t help it. I know he’s getting sicker. I know I can’t stop HavoK from taking his sanity. He gets worse year after year, month after month, and lately, day after day. Why are you here?”
“Because Torren is the keeper of you. And I want to be the keeper of Torren. I want him to stay.”
Vyr frowned. “Stay in the Sons of Beasts Crew?”
“No,” she whispered. “Stay on this Earth. With me. I want to keep him.”
Vyr lifted his chin and stared down his nose at her. “I can see how much you mean your words.” He tapped his temple twice. “Usually I hate this power. Hate. It. But just now you became important to me. Stop HavoK from what he’s doing to my woods. Bring him home and make him sleep easy. He doesn’t do that anymore. Prove you can tame HavoK, and I’ll welcome you into my crew.”
“You love him,” she rushed out before he could leave. “As a friend. You act cold to everyone, but Torren was always yours to keep safe, wasn’t he?”
“Hmm,” he rumbled, tightening his arms over his chest. “There are very few dragons left, and none like me. It doesn’t matter what HavoK looks like. To me, Torren is my brother. He’s a dragon in a gorilla’s body.” Vyr’s eyes blazed a lighter silver as he locked his gaze with hers. “I won’t be around forever.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I won’t, Candace. I don’t talk about this with the crew, but with you, you should know what your role will be when I’m gone.”
“What role?”
“Save. Torren. Because when I go, HavoK will turn into the devil himself.”
Chills rippled up her legs. She opened her mouth to say more, but Vyr turned abruptly and disappeared into the dark hallway.
Crap. Vyr was alpha here. A reluctant one, but alpha nonetheless, and if he was leaving, this crew was going to be thrown into turmoil. It would topple the hierarchy and shred the crew, the dominant males especially, from inside their minds outward. Broken bonds were bad for beasts like Torren, Nox, and Vyr.
With a huffed breath, she rushed to grab her jacket and slipped her feet into her snow boots. She was only wearing one of Torren’s XL shirts to sleep in, but she didn’t want to bother with shoving herself into jeans right now. Not when Vyr had told her HavoK was doing something bad in the woods.
Torren, Torren, Torren, please be all right.
That dream with her dad and mom had messed with her head, and all she wanted was to cuddle up against Torren’s chest and feel okay again.
Her unlaced boots made a crunching sound each step she took through the snow. The temperature was dropping. Thanks to the tiger in her middle, the cold only bothered her a little bit. She wrapped her arms around her stomach to conserve warmth as she followed the gorilla prints into the woods. The first streaks of gray illuminated the cloudy horizon, and snowflakes were falling slowly in big clusters. It reminded her of ashes raining down after the eruption of a volcano.
She heard HavoK long before she saw him. Or rather heard his destruction. In the distance, she could see trees shaking violently as he blasted his fists against them, and she heard the beating of his fists against his chest. Carefully, she stepped over logs and brush until she came to the edge of a small clearing. HavoK was destroying a tree. And when he got tired, he sauntered away and beat his chest, little specks of red flinging onto the white snow before he charged the tree again.
“Stop,” she murmured.
He didn’t react.
“I said stop!” she demanded, approaching slowly.
HavoK roared and pushed off the tree, paced away, chest puffed out, eyes on her, posturing. His eyes were greener than moss after a spring rain, and with every step, his knuckles bled onto the snow.
Before, she could only imagine what these Changes were like for him, but now she saw. She saw the damage. Saw the anger. Saw an animal with too much control.
“Torren,” she murmured.
HavoK peeled his glossy black lips over his long canines. “He’s not home,” HavoK said in that growly voice.
“Why not?”
HavoK spun and picked up a fallen log, then chucked it against another tree with a deafening crack. “Because dreams.”
“Bad ones?”
“Always bad.” HavoK slapped the side of his head three times and went back to pacing.
She made her way closer. “I had a bad one, too. What was yours about?”
“You. You. You. Tiger getting thrown through the wall. Tiger under that silverback and his fist, and what if I hadn’t been fast enough to stop him? I dreamed I wasn’t. When I woke up, you were sleeping and I was… I checked if you were breathing. Your Torren wasn’t there. Just me.”
“My Torren,” she repeated softly, closing the gap between them. “And you’re my HavoK.”
His lip snarled up but fell instantly. His eyes softened, and he stopped the pacing when she reached out for his arm. He allowed her to pull his massive hand from the ground. She searched his eyes for a few moments more before she examined the mess he’d made of his knuckles. “Why?”
&
nbsp; “Because I must.”
“Why?”
“Because my body needs to stay strong. Because it needs to stay used to pain.”
“Why?”
The massive silverback huffed a frozen breath and sat in the snow, straightened his spine, but didn’t pull his hand out of hers. “So I can keep you and Vyr and Nox and Nevada safe.”
“Not like this. This doesn’t just hurt you, HavoK. It hurts Torren. You rip away from him, shove him aside, and the more you do that, the shorter your life will be.”
“Don’t care. Easier this way.”
“For who?”
“Me.”
“And what about me? What about your mate? What about your family group? What about your crew?”
HavoK gave his attention to the woods and looked bored. “Only care about you.”
“And Vyr.”
HavoK slid her a narrow-eyed glance but didn’t argue.
“And also Nox and Nevada,” she said, because she knew it to be true.
“They’re strange. I don’t understand them.”
Candace giggled. “I don’t think anyone understands them, and I think they like it that way.” Suddenly, before she could change her mind, she told him, “You’re Changing too much. Hey,” she murmured, lowering her voice. “Look at me.”
HavoK grimaced, but allowed her to cup his face.
“It’s too much, and you’re hurting Torren. And the more you hurt him, the more you hurt me.”
His breath steamed from him like engine smoke. He looked enormous, strong, and capable. His coal black fur and the dark gray saddle of color on his back contrasted against the white snow. He was a striking creature. He was deadly power meets beauty.
“Family group,” HavoK said low.
Candace smiled. “That’s me. But you have to work to keep everything together. What would our family group do without you? Who would keep me safe? Who would keep Vyr safe from the world, and the world safe from Vyr?”
“Who would beat the shit out of Nox?”
Candace snorted. “That, too. We need you. I need you, but you have to do better than this. You don’t keep yourself in check, and you push for more and more power, and what does that do for you?”
