HAMLET turns away, clearly not playing.
CHULAK: Have I done something to offend you?
HAMLET shakes his head.
CHULAK: Is it something to do with the King?
HAMLET nods vigorously.
CHULAK: Can you write it down?
HAMLET: You want me to write as well? I’m already very gifted for an elephant, you know?
CHULAK: I knew I could make you speak.
HAMLET: It’s nothing to do with you. The King agreed to give Lalchand another chance in exchange for my silence.
CHULAK: So why are you speaking?
HAMLET: I’m in disguise.
CHULAK: Good point. Let’s get into position.
CHULAK leaps onto HAMLET’s shoulders and stretches to LALCHAND’s cage. He can’t reach.
CHULAK: Higher Hamlet.
HAMLET: This is as high as I go. Unless I stand on a ball like a circus freak?
CHULAK: Shush... Did you hear that?
HAMLET: What?
Four pairs of eyes are surrounding them.
CHULAK: Hello?
HUNGRY PIRATE: (Singing barber shop style.) Hello...
CHANG: (Singing barber shop style.) Hello...
LITTLE PIRATE: (Singing barber shop style.) Hello.
RAMBASHI leaps out of the dark.
RAMBASHI: Chulak! My dear boy!
(Sings.)
Hello...
CHULAK: Uncle Rambashi? What are you doing here?
RAMBASHI: We’ve come to the city to make our fortune.
CHULAK: Why were you singing?
RAMBASHI: My new idea. It came to me in a flash. We’re entertainers. What do you think? A million rupee idea for sure?
CHULAK: Do you only do singing?
RAMBASHI: Only singing? Didn’t you hear? We’re entertainers! We do everything.
CHULAK: Do you do tumbling?
RAMBASHI: Tumbling?
CHULAK: You know, acrobatics?
RAMBASHI: Acrobatics? Yes, yes, yes! My brave lads will do anything for their audience.
The brave lads don’t look too sure.
CHANG: Acrobatics? We don’t do that, do we? Sounds dangerous?
LITTLE PIRATE: I thought we were singers?
HUNGRY PIRATE: I don’t care as long as there’s a hot juicy bite at the end. Or even a cold dry bite.
CHULAK takes RAMBASHI to one side.
CHULAK: Uncle? Do you think you could do me an acrobatic favour?
RAMBASHI: An acrobatic favour? You’re sure you don’t want a singing favour?
CHULAK: I need to get up there.
CHULAK points to LALCHAND’s cage. RAMBASHI hardly hesitates at all.
RAMBASHI: Boys! Form a pointed thingy!
LITTLE PIRATE: A what?
RAMBASHI: Step to it!
CHANG: Step to what?
RAMBASHI: Three at the bottom, two on top. That’s right. Come on. Use this excellent disguised elephant as a base.
HAMLET, RAMBASHI and the boys form a very dodgy and unstable pyramid.
RAMBASHI: Hold still boys! That’s it!
CHULAK tries to climb to the summit but the pyramid keeps moving. When he makes it to the top, the pyramid becomes particularly unstable. CHULAK is now high enough to reach LALCHAND’s cage but the pyramid keeps moving.
CHULAK: Hold it steady! Forward a little... Nearly there.
The pyramid suddenly flies forward. CHULAK grabs the cage and is left swinging in mid-air from the bars as HAMLET and the boys crash noisily off stage.
CHULAK: Esteemed-father-of-wayward-friend?
LALCHAND wakes.
LALCHAND: Chulak!
LALCHAND grabs CHULAK and pulls him up.
LALCHAND: Street-urchin-who-leads-daughter-astray... I never thought I’d be this pleased to see you. How’s Lila?
CHULAK: She’s alright. Moody and ungrateful, but alright.
LALCHAND: Is she ready for the competition?
CHULAK: I don’t want to worry you, it being your life at stake and everything, but she doesn’t think she can do it.
LALCHAND: Of course she can.
CHULAK: That’s what I said, but she needs your help.
LALCHAND: Nonsense! She’s a much better Firework-Maker than me!
CHULAK: Is she?
LALCHAND: Don’t tell her that. I mean, it’s not the right time. She has a flair... And what an imagination.
CHULAK: Why didn’t you tell her that? Look where you are now.
LALCHAND hangs his head in shame.
LALCHAND: I’ve been foolish. Lila’s grown while I haven’t been watching. I wanted her to do things my way. I’ve been stubborn. And jealous.
CHULAK: Jealous?
LALCHAND: I should have been happy for her. I’ve got what I deserve.
CHULAK: Can Lila win the competition?
LALCHAND: It’ll be difficult...
CHULAK: She’s lost her confidence. Razvani didn’t give her any Royal Sulphur. She doesn’t think she stands a chance without it.
LALCHAND: She doesn’t need Royal Sulphur.
CHULAK: That’s not what she thinks.
LALCHAND: She doesn’t. I can help her. I need to write a message.
4 - LALCHAND’S WORKSHOP
LILA’s testing a firework. She lights a fuse and stands well back. CHULAK: Lila! Lila!
CHULAK abseils down from the cage and straight into the firework.
LILA: What are you doing?! It’s about to go off.
The firework explodes. CHULAK runs around, screaming.
CHULAK: Has it stopped?
LILA: Yes.
A final explosion causes CHULAK to jump.
LILA: Apart from that one.
CHULAK: I’m really sorry. Have I ruined your experiment?
He has, but LILA’s pleased to see him.
LILA: It wouldn’t have been very good without you running around. You’ve done me a favour.
CHULAK: Really?
LILA: Really.
CHULAK: So I’m not totally useless.
LILA: (Apologising.) Not totally useless. Let’s say - almost totally useless... Will you stay? Help me? If you’re not busy?
CHULAK: I’m not that busy.
LILA: Thank you.
CHULAK: Hey, I almost forgot.
(Rummaging.)
I’ve got this... from Lalchand.
CHULAK pulls out a charred and smoking letter. LILA takes it from him and reads it.
CHULAK: What does he say?
LILA: He says...
LALCHAND’s in his cage.
LALCHAND: Dearest Daughter, I hope you can forgive me...
LILA: What for?
LALCHAND: I should have told you the secret of firework-making. I know you will create a magnificent display. Your loving father, Lalchand.
CHULAK: (Unimpressed.) Is that it?
LALCHAND: P.S. I’m sure you won’t need it, but you can use my supply of Royal Sulphur. It’s in a golden pot with a green lid on the bottom shelf of the gunpowder cupboard.
LILA dashes over to the workbench and starts frantically searching. She takes out the pot and opens it.
LILA: This?
She dabs a little powder on her finger and sniffs it.
LILA: This can’t be it.
LILA checks the letter.
LALCHAND: P.P.S. add a pinch to each firework.
LILA puts a little Royal Sulphur on her tongue. CHULAK: Is it Royal Sulphur?
LILA: That’s what my father says. My dear father.
CHULAK: You know what this means? You can win.
LILA: Does it?
CHULAK: You’ve got the secret ingredient, haven’t you?
LILA: I have.
(Realising.)
I have. I might be able to save him.
CHULAK: Of course you can!
LILA: Come on Chulak, there’s work to be done. Stop being lazy.
CHULAK: You want me to help?
LILA: You’re the best assistant I’ve ever had.
CHULAK: I’m the only assistant you’ve ever had.
LILA and CHULAK start mixing powders and loading their cart as the other Firework-Makers start to arrive on stage and set up their displays.
5 - THE NEW YEAR FESTIVAL
It’s the second day of the New Year Festival. HERR PUFFENFLASCH stands by a huge model of a prawn. COLONEL SAM SPARKINGTON is helping to push a huge rocket with the stars and stripes painted on the side. Workers dash by with boxes of fireworks. LILA looks round, awed.
LILA: They look good...
CHULAK looks into LILA’s cart.
CHULAK: Ours is good too. The displays so far haven’t been anything special.
LILA: No, but Dr Puffenflasch and Sam Sparkington are next. They’re the best.
CHULAK: You’re doing something new.
LILA: (Cheered.) Yes. You’re right. It will be different. Look at that prawn. Why’s he got a prawn?
CHULAK: Don’t you know? The King loves prawns.
LILA: Does he?
CHULAK: Prawn cocktail’s his favourite. He loves it.
LILA: I’ve never heard that.
CHULAK: Mind you. It is nice.
The HUNGRY PIRATE’s passing, carrying a box of Roman Candles.
HUNGRY PIRATE: I’ll say. What I wouldn’t do for a prawn cocktail. Or indeed any of the classic starters.
CHULAK: (To HUNGRY PIRATE.) What are you doing here?
CHANG struggles by with a Catherine Wheel.
CHANG: We’re all here.
RAMBASHI appears with a rocket.
RAMBASHI: Chulak, my boy!
CHULAK: I thought you were singers.
RAMBASHI: Entertainers! It’s all part of my plan.
HUNGRY PIRATE: Does the plan include food?
RAMBASHI: In time, in time.
CHULAK: This plan? Did it come to you in a flash?
RAMBASHI: (Reeling with astonishment.) How did you know that? It’s a million rupee idea.
(Confidential.)
We’re pretending to be temporary peripatetic workers but when everyone least expects it, we’re going to burst into song. The King will be so impressed he’ll almost certainly make us the Special and Particular Royal Entertainers. Especially when he hears our new song. It’s about a special country far across the sea where Kings don’t have to work so hard. It’s a beautiful and mythical land, called a Republic.
CHULAK: I don’t think you should sing that one, Uncle. The King’s a bit unpredictable. He might put you in prison.
RAMBASHI: Don’t worry my boy. I know what I’m doing.
HUNGRY PIRATE: Do you get fed in prison?
RAMBASHI hurries away.
CHULAK: They’ll get in trouble if they do that.
LILA: We’re all in trouble. Look at these displays.
A trumpet announces the KING’s arrival.
CHULAK: The King!
The KING arrives with his SPECIAL AND PARTICULAR BODYGUARD dragging LALCHAND in chains. LILA wants to go to LALCHAND. CHULAK grabs her.
CHULAK: No, Lila.
LILA: What have they done to him?
LALCHAND is thrown to the floor behind the KING. LILA gasps.
KING: We are ready for the final three displays. There is a prize of a gold cup and a thousand gold coins! The audience’s applause will decide the winner.
The SPECIAL AND PARTICULAR BODYGUARD unveils a huge clapometer.
KING: Doctor Puffenflasch of Germany? Your display please?
DR. PUFFENFLASCH: Your excellency. It is my great pleasure to introduce my display entitled Bombardenorgelmitsparkenpumpe!
Dr. Puffenflasch pulls out a lighter that looks like a gun and starts his display. The finale involves the giant prawn blowing in two to reveal a prawn cocktail in a glass. This fizzes brilliantly. The King is clearly very impressed.
Dr. Puffenflasch takes his bow. The audience claps up to 9.0 on the clapometer.
LILA: That’s a very high score.
CHULAK: I didn’t think they’d like it that much.
KING: Colonel Sam Sparkington out of Alabama!
COLONEL SPARKINGTON: Your excellency. Prepare to be amazed, by the Southern Lights display!
COLONEL SAM SPARKINGTON strolls over to his rocket. He takes a match from his mouth, strikes it on his heel and tosses it at the fuse to the rocket. He then strolls off stage. The fuse for the rocket starts to splutter. Just before it’s about to take off, COLONEL SAM runs onstage and leaps onto the back of the rocket. The rocket bucks and charges around the stage like a steer, but SAM holds onto a rein and refuses to be dislodged. Eventually, the rocket reaches the back of the stage where it whooshes off into space. COLONEL SAM is seen flying across the face of the moon. The crowd is awed for a moment then erupts into the most enormous applause. COLONEL SAM arrives for his bow, smouldering and dragging a charred parachute. The clapometer goes to 9.9.
CHULAK: (Gulping.) He can still be beaten. That wasn’t even a proper display. It was just a big rocket. You’ve got big rockets too.
LILA: Not that big.
KING: Daughter of Lalchand the Firework-Maker!
CHULAK: Good luck, Lila.
LILA takes her bow.
LILA: Your excellency. I dedicate this display to my father, Lalchand, who’s taught me everything.
LILA lights a long fuse leading to her display. The audience hushes. The fuse burns quickly to start the first firework. Just before it reaches the firework, it snuffs and dies.
CHULAK: Relight it. Quick.
LILA: I can’t.
CHULAK: Why not?
LILA: It’s too close to the firework. It’ll blow me to pieces. I have to fit a new fuse.
The KING stands up.
KING: Kill him!
The crowd gasps. LALCHAND is dragged by the SPECIAL AND PARTICULAR BODYGUARD to an execution block with a sword at his throat.
LILA: No!
CHULAK grabs LILA and shakes her.
CHULAK: Fit a new fuse. Quickly! I’ll hold him up!
CHULAK jumps out in front of the KING.
CHULAK: Your excellent and kind Majesty. Before you execute the traitor...
The KING glares at CHULAK. The SPECIAL AND PARTICULAR BODYGUARD bends LALCHAND over the block and prepares to behead him. The KING holds up a hand to stop the execution.
CHULAK: In honour of your great wisdom and generosity, and in celebration of your many glorious years, I would like to show you some wondrous... Juggling!
CHULAK starts juggling and clowning.
KING: Enough! I said kill him!
The KING turns to the SPECIAL AND PARTICULAR BODYGUARD. LILA throws herself on the floor with a lighter.
LILA: (Diving for cover.) Your Majesty! My display!
LILA takes control of the display, pointing to the fireworks as they explode. She’s in her element, a natural, a master. When it’s finished there’s a long and deadly silence.
COLONEL SAM stands.
COLONEL SPARKINGTON: (Throwing hat in air.) Yeeee-har!
DR. PUFFENFLASCH: Hoch, hoch, hoch!
There’s deafening applause. The clapometer goes round to 10 and then continues, spinning out of control until it explodes and shoots smoke out of the top. There are cheers and LILA is picked up and carried round on the shoulders of the crowd. LILA is swamped by the other Firework-Makers.
DR. PUFFENFLASCH: Your display was magnificent.
COLONEL SPARKINGTON: What’re you putting in them there rockets. I ain’t never seen nothing like it. We’ve got to talk, lady.
DR. PUFFENFLASCH: Jah! I would be honoured if you would both join me for a sausage dinner.
LILA: Thank you. I too would be honoured.
KING: Silence!
The celebrations cease.
KING: The girl lit a firework that went out. By the rules of the competition she is disqualified.
The crowd hiss. There’s a few boos.
DR. PUFFENFLASCH: Please your majesty. The girl is the winner...
COLONEL SPARKINGT
ON: Darn right she is. That was some display.
The KING stares until the crowd is cowed into silence. There’ll be no revolt against this KING.
KING: I say when the competition is over. I decide the winner.
Silence.
KING: I’m glad that’s understood.
The SPECIAL AND PARTICULAR BODYGUARD holds LALCHAND by the hair as he awaits the KING’s order. The KING looks over. LALCHAND is about to die.
KING: I have decided to overlook this technicality. The girl has won! Free the Firework-Maker!
The SPECIAL AND PARTICULAR BODYGUARD kicks LALCHAND away from the execution block and he escorts the KING away. LILA picks up the golden cup and her thousand crowns. There’s a huge cheer.
LILA breaks away to speak to CHULAK who’s with RAMBASHI.
RAMBASHI: Chulak my boy! It’s a million rupee idea. I’m the manager, you’re the lead singer. My boys are the backing band. We’ll call you Chulak and the Chickens.
CHULAK: I’d like that.
RAMBASHI off.
LILA: Is that a good idea?
CHULAK: I think so.
LILA: I mean the terrible name?
RAMBASHI: It’s not terrible. What could be more noble than a hen?
CHULAK: You’re the champion.
LILA: I couldn’t have done it without you and Hamlet. Where is Hamlet?
CHULAK: He’s with Frangipani. She liked him all along - she was just shy.
HAMLET and FRANGIPANI appear.
HAMLET: Well done Lila. I knew you’d win.
LILA: Thanks Hamlet. Nice to meet you Frangipani.
HAMLET: She can play the saxophone. She can’t speak. What do you want from us? We’re elephants!
RAMBASHI: Chulak!
LILA: I need to speak to my father.
CHULAK goes. LILA sees LALCHAND. They move to the front of the stage as everyone else leaves in the background.
LALCHAND: Lila, my dear, will you accept my apology?
LILA: Do I need to?
LALCHAND: I didn’t trust you. I should have. You have the Three Gifts.
LILA: I don’t even know what they are.
LALCHAND: They’re what all Firework-Makers must have. They are equally important, and two of them are no good without the third. The first one is talent, and you have that, my dear.
LILA: Thank you.
LALCHAND: The second has many names: courage, determination, will-power... It’s what made you carry on climbing the mountain when everything seemed hopeless.
LILA: And the third?
LALCHAND: Luck. It gave you good friends like Chulak and Hamlet, and brought them to you in time. Those are the Three Gifts, and you took them and offered them to Razvani as a Firework-Maker should. And he gave you the Royal Sulphur in exchange.
The Firework-Maker's Daughter Page 4
