Layla’s nostrils flared as her lungs burned, and she clenched her fists, digging nails into her palms. The fact that he could control her was nothing new. A week had passed since she realized he had the power to do what he wanted when he wanted to do it. But the fact that he was willing to use that power to strip away hers was something new, and it pissed her off. He'd made her weak and helpless, everything she was tired of being. Blah!
Soaring from his lap, she flew into the master bedroom and magically slammed the door.
Quin watched her go, and it felt like she'd taken half of him with her. He was riddled with holes that only her touch and forgiveness would fill, and it left him drained of energy and confidence. He ran a hand down his face then looked at his dad. “She didn't like that.”
Kemble sympathetically shrugged. “It's for her own good. She’d never accept help, no matter how badly she wants to stay.” He paused, sadly searching the air around his son. Then he bowed his head. “It's the best solution, Quinlan.”
Quin wasn't so sure and feared his decision would haunt him in more ways than one. He stood while glancing at the bedroom door. Then he looked to Serafin and Caitrin. “We need to figure this out, and we need to do it quickly. The eight of us are strong, but it's not enough, and I won't let anyone march to certain death. We need more help, but the guilt is heavy enough without involving innocent bystanders, so let’s make a list of people with personal vendettas against the Unforgivables. Maybe some of them harbor a death wish and would jump at a chance to fight. We need volunteers, trustworthy volunteers. If they're shady, we don't want them around. Oh, and we need a place to practice – an open, fire-safe area much bigger than our lawn. Please put all your resources to work on this right away. If we want to survive, we need help. Layla and I will be home later this evening.” He turned and headed for his angry angel, but paused with this hand on the doorknob, the rhythm of his wounded heart resounding in his ears. “See you guys after a while.”
And with a deep breath, he opened the door.
Chapter Ten
When Layla heard Quin enter the room, she buried her face further in her pillow and concealed her aura, barely resisting the urge to angrily kick the bed.
Blah! She'd just released the emotions. Now the damn things had to be sucked back in. Hiding her aura ate at her already marred insides, and she just wanted to be alone so she could let it go and wallow in her grief.
Quin's hand flew to his heart when she hid the lovely yet haunted haze, and he yearned to pull her into his arms, force her to take all her frustrations out on him. But he didn't sit or lie down when he reached the side of the bed. He just watched her tense form while clutching his aching chest.
“I need some time,” she mumbled.
Her voice was muffled by grief and cotton, but he clearly sensed her anger and betrayal. “Okay,” he agreed, summoning a chair and sitting beside the bed.
“Alone,” she huffed.
He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, thankful he no longer had to stay stern. It had been beyond difficult to speak to her so severely when all he wanted to do was whisper reassuring words in her ear. “I understand why you're angry with me, Layla, but I won't let you push me away. Take all the time you need. I'm staying right here.”
She balled her hands into fists. “Damn it, Quin, stop making me feel weak.”
With that, his control broke and he floated to the spot beside her. She wiggled away the moment he landed, and his entire body cringed as his stomach churned. “Please don't move away from me.”
“Oh you're asking now? I thought you'd moved on to demanding.”
Her words were salt in his wounds. “Layla.”
“What?”
“It's not like that.”
“That's exactly what it's like.”
“I had to make a decision, so I made it. I don't want to control you. It broke my heart to force you into that decision, but I didn't have a choice.”
“You didn't have a choice? I was the one left powerless.”
“You're not powerless,” he whispered, running his hand an inch over her hair. Her uncanny power over him made it damn near impossible for him to keep his distance.
“That's how I feel,” she snapped. “It's like I'm one of those women who let their husbands control them. I have no leverage and no guts.”
“That's enough,” he returned, rolling her over to face him. “Don't compare me to men like that and don't compare yourself to those women.”
Her bloodshot eyes narrowed. “I guess we're back to a demand and obey relationship.”
Quin was shocked by the way she was treating him, but he couldn't blame her. She was under too much stress to soundly deal with the overwhelming emotions clogging her insides. “I know you're angry,” he replied, dialing down the heat, “and I understand why, but you know that's not how our relationship works. I have no desire to control the women in my life…”
“Only when it’s necessary,” she interrupted. Then she rolled over and buried her face.
“Don't you understand why?” he asked, gripping the blankets so he wouldn't grip her.
“I do understand why,” she conceded, “but I still can't believe you used our relationship like you did. You have complete power over me, Quin. You could lift me up or tear me down in a heartbeat. I'm at your mercy at all times. I was okay with that, because I just knew you’d never misuse the authority you have over me. But you did, like it was no big deal. You looked at me and wielded that power like a sword, slicing away my choice in the matter. I do understand why you did it, but I don't understand how you could do it like that, and it hurts me you find it so necessary and easy to use that sword against me. It shakes my confidence and my faith in our relationship.”
Panic bubbled in his stomach, quickly rising to his chest, and he pulled her around, holding her against him so she couldn't roll away. “No, Layla. Please don't say those things. I’ll never tear you down. Ever. Your opinion means everything to me. You mean everything to me, and I hated using our relationship against you.”
Tears slipped from her lids as she attempted to move away from him, but he held tight. “Just let me go, Quin.”
“No.”
“I need time.”
“Take your time, but I'm not letting go.”
“Damn it, Quin. You're not the boss of me.”
“You're absolutely right.”
She stopped struggling, but she stayed rigid as she looked him in the eye. “Let – go.”
He solidly met her stare, his heart in his throat. “No.”
Her anger wavered, exposing her sorrow, and her lashes fell as her body shook. “Why won't you let me be?”
“Because I'm selfish and I need you. Be as angry as you want with me, Layla. You're welcome to scream and kick and curse, but I'm not letting go. I hate the way I've made you feel, and if I walk out of here, I'll go crazy. So be mad, but please don't put me through that.”
She sobbed, and he pressed his lips to hers. “Please, love, I know you're mad, but I need you.”
Her flexed muscles finally relaxed, and he quickly curled her into a ball and moved her to his chest. Once she was tucked in, he firmly wrapped his arms around her body and buried his face in her hair, kissing between deep breaths.
Layla had surrendered yet again, but it wasn't like the time before. Yes, she still felt weak, but the shame of subservience wasn't there with this concession. Before, he'd sternly told her exactly how it would be while making it clear she had no choice, but this time, his demands came with heartfelt pleas and loving caresses. “Damn it, Quin. I have no leverage, and I don't like the way it feels.”
“You have as much leverage as I do, and I'm not using mine right now.”
“Yes you are.”
“I'm not.”
“You don't see it?”
“Would you rather I not tell you what I need from you?”
Her frustration paused as his words sank in. Then the frustration retu
rned. “No. I would not prefer that.”
“I did misuse your devotion earlier,” he admitted, “and I'm sorry. Maybe I should have gone about it differently. But this right here...” He squeezed tighter. “...this is something I need right now, and I don't consider this using my power against you.” He rubbed his face in her hair, kissing her head again. “I know you're hurting, and you can be mad at me, but I don't believe you really want to be mad all by yourself, so please let me hold you while you tell me how angry you are, and I tell you how sorry I am.”
She huffed. Not because he was making her angry, but because he was making sense. The last thing she wanted was to move away from the most heavenly spot in the world. It would make her feel lonely and empty as well as sad and afraid. She swallowed the bitter taste of defeat. Then she released her aura and moved her hands to her face, catching a flood of tears.
Quin released a heavy sigh when her aura flowed free, and he let her cry in silence for a long time. When her sobs turned to hiccups, he kissed her head and rubbed her back. “I'm sorry it has to be like this, love, and I'm sorry I handled the situation unfairly, but this is our best chance.”
“What about everyone else, Quin? What about their chance?”
“They want us to stay as much as we want to stay, and they're prepared to do whatever they can to make our stay safe. It's what they want, Layla. We're giving them what they want.”
“And possibly taking their lives in return.”
“We're going to do everything we can to keep that from happening.”
“It's unfair.”
“Yes.”
“It's selfish.”
“Yes.”
“And it's all on my shoulders.”
“No,” he disagreed, tightening his hold. “The blame rests on my shoulders. I made it so when I broke your heart.”
Layla wiped her tears and stared at his chest, contemplating that last part. He'd made his demands intending to completely relieve her of guilt while giving her exactly what she wanted but wouldn't take. Damn it. Every bit of his demand was for her sake and her sake alone, even the fierceness with which it had been delivered, which, ultimately, was the fire to her fuse.
Pressing her palms flat against his stomach, she touched her cheek to his heart. “What if I can convince you I could be happy hiding?”
“You can't. I’d know you're lying.”
“I can be happy, Quin. I'll stay just like this all the time, tucked away in my personal heaven until the day I die.”
“No, Layla.”
“You don't believe me?”
“I do believe you're happy when you're in my arms, but I also know how much it would hurt you to leave our family. I saw it, Layla. I felt it. Your spirit was draining away right before my eyes, and I can't let that happen. You're a happy person. That's one of my favorite things about you, and there's no doubt in my mind that if I were to take you away from here, you’d change. I don't want despair changing you. I don't want you to lose the personality traits that make you so special, beautiful and bright.”
She slowly rubbed her face back and forth across his warm chest, trying to find the optimism that had slipped from her grip. “How will we ever succeed, Quin? I don't want to watch everyone die. I don't want to watch you die.”
“I know, love, but we won’t face him without a fighting chance. This isn't about letting Agro find you anymore. This is about us setting him up for a fall. Hopefully his patience will hold out until we can come up with a plan.”
“You still have hope?”
“As long as I have you.”
“I thought you were lacking it.”
“Doing this by ourselves would have been suicide, but we're not alone now.” He hugged her close. Then he pulled her up his body, stroking her moist cheek as he searched her eyes. “Is this okay?”
He'd stolen her forgiveness the moment he touched her, so she nodded her agreement while massaging the tight tendons in his neck and shoulder.
His consoled sigh sent heat across her nose as he kissed it, but his solaced expression didn't last. He closed his eyes, his face flexing as he spoke in a strained voice. “You have to understand something, Layla.” He swallowed and found her stare. “Even though I have hope and we have help, there's a solid chance we'll die when we face Agro.”
A tear slipped from the corner of her eye, and he wiped it away before going on. “I've embraced the odds. They terrify me and weigh heavy on my heart, but unless we resort ourselves to an unfulfilled life far away from here, we're stuck with the possibility of striking out. You've made it clear you’d rather die than give up our life here, so we'll take the chance and let the dice roll, just like you said.”
A few more tears rolled from her lids at the prospect of their death, and this time he kissed them away. “We have a lot to accomplish in a small amount of time, my love, and it may be the only time we have left on earth, so I have a favor to ask, and if I have to, I'll beg on my hands and knees to make it so.”
Like he would have to. “What is it you want?”
“You,” he answered. Then he kissed her nose, cheeks, eyelids, and lips. “Every free moment we get, I want you in my arms. I want us to hold and love each other like there's no tomorrow, and I want to treasure each moment like it's our last. If we have to die, I want to die knowing I held the most amazing woman in the world the way she deserved to be held, that I showed her how much I love and need her, and that I’m happier than I’ve ever been when I’m with her. I want to spend the rest of our lives, no matter how short they may be, showing you these things while touching your soul and letting you touch mine.” He kissed away more tears then found her eyes again. “Will you please let me do that, Layla? It's all I want. It's all I need to make everything worth it. If you’ll give me this, I’ll fight every day for the rest of my life.”
His sweet and sincere request grabbed her heartstrings and yanked, leaving her a vulnerable ball of raging emotions. Tears burst forth as sobs exploded from her chest, and she burrowed into him, her body quaking as love and sadness grasped it and fiercely shook. Her fingers clawed at him, attempting to pull him closer, unconcerned with anything besides his feel and his flesh and the man beneath its surface. She wanted to melt into him. She wanted to be a part of him. She wanted to be securely nestled within him, right next to his heart.
She flattened her palms on his pecs, her cheek pressed against his neck, her lips perched on his shoulder. Then she mentally urged his soul to touch her, attempting to draw his love and devotion and strength and sincerity to the surface of his skin. She just wanted to feel it.
He gasped, jolting as her magic clutched his insides and pulled. Then he exhaled hugely when the force reached the surface of his skin and collided with hers. The atmosphere flashed, and the air filled with heat, a peaceful cocoon delivering magical morphine straight into her pores. This was exactly what she wanted… what she needed. It felt like every wonderful thing he'd ever said to her and done for her had been woven into a blanket that was now wrapped around her body, delivering much needed love, security and hope. It felt like she was nestled in his soul, right next to his heart, right where she wanted to be.
She sighed his name. Then she selfishly held onto the feeling for over a minute before letting the tangible emotions slip back into his body.
“How did you do that?” he breathlessly asked.
“I shouldn't have, Quin. I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?”
“No,” he assured, pulling her face from his neck. “How did you do that?”
“I don't know. I just did.”
“Do you know what that was?”
She bit her lip then guiltily whispered. “Your soul?” As she said the words aloud, the absurdity and presumptuousness of her actions sank in, and she panicked. “I'm so sorry, Quin. I should never mess with things like that…”
He put a finger to her lips and stopped her babbling. “It was my soul,” he whispered, scanning the air around him. Then he returned his gaze
to hers. “And do you know what I saw?”
“You saw something?”
“Yes,” he confirmed, a grin stretching between deep dimples. “I saw my aura.”
“You what?” she asked, looking at the bright haze around him. “You saw your aura?”
He took her cheeks and gave her a happy kiss. “Yes, my perfect, beautiful, amazing angel, I saw my aura.”
The magic left Layla feeling sedate, and his joy was contagious, so her smile came naturally. “I told you it's magnificent.”
“It is magnificent. And do you know why?”
“Why?”
“Because of you. Once I realized what I was looking at, I saw you. You're all over my aura, and you make it shine beautifully.”
“It's your heart and soul, Quin, not mine.”
“You're wrong. They are yours. I just saw visual proof of that.”
Her throat tightened as her heart swelled. “If you keep saying things like that, you're going to make me lose it again. I can’t seem to control my emotions.”
“Stop trying. I want to see them. I want to see everything about you. Remember? Live every second like it's our last. That's what I want.”
She slid her hand from his chest to his cheek. “That's what I want, too, Quin. No more wasted moments.”
“You're not going to make me beg?” he asked, flashing a grin.
She guiltily looked down as she quietly responded. “That would be a wasted moment.”
“Hey,” he whispered, and her thick lashes fluttered up, revealing the deep, emerald eyes that, on so many unpredictable occasions, left him breathless.
“Hey back.”
His lungs found air again, and he pulled a curl to his nose, sweetening the oxygen. “Even if I die tomorrow, I'll be able to say I was a lucky man; that I lived a blessed life where my most amazing dreams came true. You've made my life breathtakingly beautiful and uniquely divine, and no matter how this turns out, I'll never regret one second I've had with you. Eleven days is short, but it's been long enough for you to provide me with more happiness than most people discover in a lifetime. For that, I owe you my heart and soul, and they're yours.”
The Bond Page 10
