by Lexy Timms
It’s all too much.
And yet, somehow still not enough.
I can feel Sebastian burying his howl. The primal need within him to alert everyone in his pack to what he’s doing. The whimper is caught in his throat. His body is shaking as he pounds relentlessly into my body. Sweat is dripping from his forehead as he’s licking wounds closed on my body. My tongue is raking over his skin, and we can’t control ourselves. Juices are dripping to the floor, sweat is flowing, and his tongue grazes over my nipples. Lapping at them and nibbling on them and marking my breasts with bruises left behind by his groping hands.
I hear him whimper again and I crash our lips together, catching the howl just in time for my throat to swallow the sound.
My eyes roll into the back of my head as his cock sheaths itself into me. He stills, and I can feel his cum shooting into my body. Coating me with his final mark as our arms hold one another close. My pussy is throbbing around me as my entire body convulses. Relaxing and tightening, relaxing and tightening. I want to say his name. I want it to fall from my lips. But he’s howling down my throat, and I can’t help the moan that escapes from mine.
Sloppy wet kisses and caresses of our hands are all that remain as we slide to the floor. Sebastian is kneeling with his cock cradled in my body and my legs wrapped around him. Holding him to me. Almost as if I’m still trying to convince myself he’s alive.
That I didn’t really kill him.
“I’m right here, Clarissa.”
I nuzzle into his neck, prompting a low growl he rumbles against my face.
“Stay with me, Sebastian.”
“I wouldn't have it any other way.”
Chapter 12
T heo
I hate my sense of hearing. Do Sebastian and Clarissa not know how loud they are being? Their slams and moans make my stomach curl, and the howl Sebastian’s trying to bury makes me irate. I can’t take it any longer. I can’t sleep inn the room next to Clarissa’s if that’s the choice she’s made. I won’t sit here and listen to her and that Wolf have sex night after night now that she’s made her choice.
I storm out of my room and make my way to the kitchen and see Toshi sitting at the kitchen table. He’s eating an apple and looking at the plans he took down from the cabinet. He looks over at me, his eyes dark with the same anger I feel coursing through my veins.
“Sounds like she’s made her choice,” Toshi says.
“I take it you're not happy either,” I say.
“I’m in love with her. Of course, I’m not happy. But it is her choice. And if she wants to lower her standards for a Wolf, then so be it.”
“Sebastian’s not a bad guy. He’s just not—”
“Right for her? I agree. He’s too primal. Too basic in his needs. He won’t be able to keep up with a complex woman like her. She’ll get bored. He’ll get frustrated. She’ll want more, and he’ll get possessive. Wolves always do. She’s signed her entrapment warrant whether she realizes it or not.”
“Then tell me how you really feel,” I say.
“You want that? Because I can,” he says.
I grin as I walk over to the fruit bowl and grab an orange to peel.
“Did you love her?”
“What?” I ask.
“In Norway. When the two of you bonded.”
“Is that what we’re calling it?” I ask.
Another muffled howl careens down the hallway, and I cringe. How many times is that going to happen with them tonight? Do they both have to subject the entire cottage to their debauchery? I try to distract myself by peeling the orange in front of me as I sit down at the table.
“Yes,” Toshi says. “That’s what we’re calling it.”
“I did,” I say. “I still do.”
“You love Clarissa.”
“In my own way, yes. It’s complicated.”
“Because of the mate you lost,” he says.
“My clan wants me to take over as leader, but I can’t until I take a mate. Gia was everything. Beautiful. Intelligent. Caring. A healer. She came into my life on a whirlwind and stayed when I asked, and I couldn't have been more grateful for her.”
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“I loved her, and I always will. I heard her voice for years calling to me from the beyond. Little whispers here and there whenever I sailed from town to town. I would talk with her about why I left my clan. Why I couldn't go back after what they did to her. I clung to her voice because it was better than not having her at all. But when Clarissa and I encountered one another, her voice slowly began to fade away.”
“Why?” he asks.
“I don’t know. At first, I thought me being around another woman was angering Gia. Like she was clinging to me the way I was to her and didn’t want someone jeopardizing that. But every step we’ve taken in this journey we’ve all been on, she’s still been there. Not as apparent, but still speaking to me. But this time, it isn’t personal.”
“What is it then?”
“It’s about Clarissa. Ways to protect her and pushing me to believe she’s the prophecy that has to be fulfilled. She talks to me about Clarissa. Almost like she’s accepted my love for her.”
“Yep. That’s complicated,” he says.
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Have you ever taken a mate?”
“No. And to tell you the truth, I wasn’t ever planning on it. I’ve watched many friends of mine settle in their lives. Try to find a balance between the life they need to lead and the life they want to lead. I’ve watched friends settle with humans and battle trials and tribulations I’d never weather simply to commit myself to a human,” he says.
“Like what?” I ask.
“Primals can’t mate with humans, but Cats are lonely. By sheer programming, we are loners. Those who strike out on their own. And with the dwindling female numbers, the males become lonelier and lonelier as the years trek on. Some find themselves a human to attach to. One they love. And then the lies start up. Everything from hiding their Primal nature to dealing with the grief that they can’t procreate with their spouse. I’ve seen friends of mine fake IVF treatments with human male sperm and pass those children off as their own just to make their chosen human mates happy.”
“That happens?” I ask.
“More often than you realize. And I watch how it eats away at them. How it chisels away at the very core of who they are naturally. That Cat-like pride and grace succumb to an empty desire to pose as something they’re not. And then, they outlive their entire families and have to fake their deaths just to try again. They watch their wives and children grow up and die without them to keep their true nature a secret, but to them, it’s better than living alone.”
“Doesn’t sound like it,” I say.
“Exactly. Which is why I’ve never done it. I won’t take a human female as a mate because I can’t imagine traveling those roads of horror, but I don’t take a Primal mate because it’s regular practice now for them to take more than one. And I don’t share well.”
“You could find a woman that doesn’t want more than one mate. I’m sure she’s out there.”
“Yes, and those females have found their mates. With Clarissa, I thought I’d found mine. Even before I knew what she was and what was going on and was thrust into this world we’re now in, I still thought she was the one for me. I was intrigued by her. My curiosity was piqued with her. I could make her smile, and watching her smile made me smile. I had fun with her. I felt powerful with her. And when she chose Kyle, it broke me. But I told myself it was for her own good. If she wanted to live a normal life, then she had that choice. To do it with a human. But then Kyle died.”
I watch Toshi grimace as he takes a bite of his apple. I know what he’s feeling. The conflict of emotions raging in his body. We all thought it. When we caught wind of Kyle’s death, there was a small part in all of us that rejoiced. That figured maybe we could battle it out for Clarissa’s future.
To be the one standing at her side since she had the option of taking a mate again. Toshi, like myself, is disgusted with the notion that he could rejoice in Clarissa’s pain for his own personal gain.
“And now, Clarissa’s made another choice. And that choice still isn’t me. So I have to wonder if what we shared was simply—”
“Fabricated?” I ask.
“That’s a good word for it,” Toshi says.
I nod my head as the cottage door opens up, allowing the harsh wind from the outside to filter in. The sounds of Clarissa and Sebastian are filling the cottage, and I can see Vlad’s nostrils flaring. He leans his body against the door and closes it before wrapping his coat around his body. His eyes are wide, his head turned in the other direction, looking down the hallway as a growl works its way up his throat.
“She chose,” I say.
“What?” Vlad asks.
“There’s nothing we can do about it,” Toshi says.
“She picked that mangy dog?” Vlad asks.
“Ironic, coming from you,” I say with a grin. “Where have you been?”
“Out gathering intel,” Vlad says.
“Do you have something for us?” Toshi asks.
“I do. I’ve been walking all night. Sticking to the shadows and trying to get a glimpse of my father. But my contact found me before I had a chance to get back to my village.”
“What did your contact say?” I ask.
“The Council is finally out of their war meeting,” Vlad says. “They’re prepared for their fight.”
I shove the last slice of orange into my mouth before I stand to my feet. I stand by Toshi, our bodies hovering as Vlad approaches the table. The three of us gather around and look down at the plans, going over our tactics once again. It’s getting close. Our time of war is drawing nearer. I can sense the urgency in Vlad’s movements. I can smell the excitement on his skin. Toshi’s eyes are drawn to mine, and the two of us exchange a glance.
“What?” Vlad growls.
“Something has you angry,” I say.
“And I don’t think it’s the war coming,” Toshi says.
“What else do you know?” I ask.
Vlad huffs before he shrugs his coat off.
“My contact was coming to tell me the Council had just reconvened from their war room meeting. But it seems my father is in a bit of a debacle.”
“What kind of debacle?” I ask.
“According to my source, my father has been approached by both General Tera and Chief to side with them. To fight this war out the way they want. General Tera with his eradication and Chief with his experimentation or whatever the hell they’re calling it.”
“What does any of this have to do with your father?” I ask.
“Apparently, my father doesn’t agree with either of them. He wants to take a more diplomatic solution. Sit down with people. Hammer out some sort of an agreement.”
“Not at all what a Wolf would do,” Toshi says.
“Exactly. But they’re taking his suggestion as a form of mutiny so they’ve locked him away,” Vlad says. “In the dungeon.”
“Wait, so he’s in the same place Kyle is now?” I ask.
“According to what I’ve been told. And I’m so angry I can’t stand it. Primals wonder why Wolves never evolve. Why we never moved beyond our basic instinct to feed, fuck, and kill. Well, my father just tried to change that. He tried to suggest something other than the ‘kill’ instinct that’s so natural within all of us.”
“And he’s been locked away for it,” Toshi says.
“That’s what happens to Wolves,” Vlad growls. “The moment we try to step up and be better than how other Primals view us, those same Primals cast us out for it. We have to get him out of there.”
“We can try when we go after Kyle, but Kyle has to be our main priority,” I say.
“Why? Because that’s the husband of the woman you love? Who, by the way, just fucked the hell out of Sebastian by the smell of it.”
“No,” I bellow.
I stand on my feet and roll my shoulders back as I hover over the growling dog Vlad is turning into. I can feel the jealousy spewing from him. I can see the anger in his eyes. I can sense the fear for his own father, and I get it. He wants to rescue his family. I would, too, if it was my father. Or even Chief.
“Kyle is our main priority because I made a promise,” I say. “We all did. And if we have time to get your father out of there, we will. You have my word on that.”
“And I’m supposed to trust you?” Vlad asks.
“Yes,” Toshi says. “Like we’ve trusted you.”
Vlad snickers and shakes his head before he rakes his hand through his hair. It’s getting to all of us. The contingencies and the plans the Council is making. All of it is getting so convoluted and impossible to process. People we need to free and Councilmen that need to be taken out. Humans to protect to keep them from turning into whatever they’ve made Clarissa and Kyle. It isn’t that Kyle and Clarissa are bad. Or even unwanted. It’s the fact that they didn’t have a choice. Neither of them got to choose for themselves whether or not they wanted to undergo this transformation. It was forced upon them, and I know that’s where Chief is coming from. He doesn't simply want humane experimentation, he wants humans to have the ability to choose.
An ability Igo and the Cats didn’t give any of their human subjects.
“How long do we have before they mobilize?” I ask.
“Yeah. How much time do we have to get ourselves set up?” Toshi asks.
“I’ve thrown some bait to a few of my friends who I know have been aching to fight against the Council for a long time. You know, Alpha wolves trying to prove themselves and all. I’ve thrown them some ideas for stalling tactics. Ways to stumble the Council and buy us a couple, maybe three days. But that’s all we’ve got, so we need to make the best of them,” Vlad says.
“What kind of tactics?” I ask.
“Simple things. Breaking their spears. Protesting outside the building. Dumping sewage into their water supply. You’d be amazed how vulnerable that building they’re in really is if you know how it’s all connected,” Vlad says.
“That’s impressive,” Toshi says with a grin. “Very cunning.”
“Shocked that a Wolf can be cunning?” Vlad asks.
“After what your father just tried to do, I’m not so sure I’m right on my assumptions about Wolves any longer,” Toshi says.
The two of them grin at one another before turning their heads to me. I hear footsteps coming down the hallway. We all turn our heads, only to see Sebastian emerge. He’s walking with his shoulders rolled back and his head high in the air. He’s walking with this stupid pep in his step that makes me want to be sick. His shit-eating grin is plastered all over his face, and Vlad rolls his eyes as Sebastian approaches the table.
“You guys good?” he asks.
“You stink,” Vlad says.
“Comes with the territory,” Sebastian says. “What are we all standing around out here for?”
“Besides trying to get away from the noise?” Toshi asks.
“A Wolf attaching himself to his mate can get a bit rough. Comes with the territory,” Sebastian says.
I shake my head as my eyes fall to the plans laid out on the table.
“We’ve got two or three days before the Council’s geared up and ready for war,” I say. “Vlad was able to seek out one of his contacts for information.”
“Their war room meeting reconvened tonight,” Vlad says. “They’re ready, so we need to be.”
“Shit. Okay. Do we know where we’re going to stash Clarissa?” Sebastian asks.
“Figured since you’re her mate, you can take care of getting her there as well as informing her of why she’s there.”
I grin at Sebastian as he bares his teeth to me.
“Comes with the territory,” Toshi says coyly.
“Enough,” Sebastian says. “Fine. I’ll be the one to get her safe. You g
uys aren’t strong enough to do it anyway. Hell, you couldn't even wake her up to get her to eat without cowering down the damn hallway.”
“Yes. We aren’t worthy of Queen Clarissa because we don’t want to piss her off. Got it,” Vlad says.
“No, you’re not worthy of her because she doesn’t give a shit about you,” Sebastian says looking at Vlad. He motions his head to Toshi and me. “They’re not worthy of her because they’re scared of her.”
“I’m not scared of Clarissa. I merely respect the choices she makes with her life,” Toshi says.
“And I’m not scared of her either. I’m worried for her. I’m protective of her. But I’m not scared,” I say.
“I don’t really care. She made her choice, and you guys are the ones out here brooding over it. So are we going to talk about our game plan or are we going to mope some more?” Sebastian asks.
“Can I tear his throat out now?” Vlad growls.
“Down boy,” Toshi says. “You almost had me convinced you were different.”
I roll my eyes as I sit back down on the chair.
“Come on, animals. It’s time to get this show on the road.”
Chapter 13
Vlad
Iknow the information from my informant wasn’t good news. It meant the Council was really gearing up for this thing. There was a part of me that was hoping all of this was merely a nightmare. Some idiotic decision made by a hotheaded General that would fizzle out with time. But it wasn’t. It isn’t. This war is happening. And with the intel we’ve all gathered, it doesn’t look good. There are talks of serum-tainted spears and experiments that work. Whispers of the Primal races surviving and evolving into bigger, better, stronger entities. Talk of my father—the “betrayer”—caged and fighting for his life.
Then there’s Clarissa.
My attempts to get her to notice me aren’t working. She’s cold. Distant. She’s friendly to the other men but not to me, and I can’t put the pieces together. I don’t know how many times I can apologize for what happened between us. I don’t know how many times I have to prove my restraint to her for her to trust me. I need her. Not just carnally, but for the mission as well. We’re freeing Kyle, got it. Not a promise I made, but if it gets me what I want, then I’ll play the game. But if I want my father freed, I have to be able to work with her.
