Carmella appeared at the edge of the screen door, which separated the house with the large porch that extended out toward the beach. She inhaled slowly and then reached for the door handle. Just before she unlatched it, however, she heard her name and paused on instinct. Perhaps she shouldn’t have. Perhaps she should have burst in, despite everything, and pushed beyond this torment.
“It’s absolute defamation,” Bruce said, his voice deep and brooding. “I wouldn’t totally rule out suing this guy. He took advantage of Carmella.”
“I know, but I mean, she walked right into his trap, didn’t she?” Elsa returned.
Sweat billowed on the back of Carmella’s neck. Now she knew, fully, that her sister thought she was some selfish idiot. Great.
“Come on, Elsa. These guys can be master manipulators,” Bruce returned in Carmella’s defense. “I’ve worked with enough characters like this to know how they operate. It’s not pretty. They’ll do everything to get their piece which would include selling their newborn.”
“I’m just not fully sure she didn’t partially do it on purpose,” Elsa returned.
Carmella’s heart sunk to the pit of her stomach. This was the worst slap in the face.
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, I mean, I’ve talked to you a bit about our family history. It has a lot of complexities.”
“Yes. A bit.”
“I just always know that Carmella blamed herself— for Colton. And she always thought our parents blamed her for it, too. She took the blame and carried it on her shoulders for all these years. And sometimes, she woke up in the middle of the night screaming and crying and I would go in and try to comfort her and put her back to sleep. But it destroyed me to see her like that.”
“Was she asleep?”
“She was still dreaming, yes,” Elsa replied.
“Did you ever tell her that you found her like this?”
Elsa was silent. Carmella’s eyes now welled with tears.
“I wish I could tell you that my mother and father didn’t treat her differently,” Elsa said then, her own voice breaking. “But I don’t know. I can’t remember. It’s a true thing that sometimes, parents treat their children differently — they play favorites. Did that happen to us? I don’t know. We were all so young and then Colton was gone and there was so much trauma. Nobody ever dealt with it the right way. The way I dealt with it was to fall in love with Aiden and start building a family. Carmella aligned herself with Karen, and then bam, Karen was gone. She resented Dad in a lot of ways. They just never saw eye-to-eye.”
“And now, he’s gone,” Bruce finished.
There was silence at the table. Finally, Elsa said, “I just wish Carmella would have told me some of these things herself.”
“Why did you invite her today?”
“I spoke with Helen Skarsgaard last night. She’d just done an interview with Lola Sheridan about the Katama Lodge. She explained that Carmella arranged it in a kind of push-back against the awful article that Cal had written.”
“Carmella arranged it?”
“Apparently, and the way Helen spoke about Carmella was like she knew a version of Carmella that I’ve never met. I would like to meet that version, but I don’t know how or if she’s willing to open up to me like that. I don’t know how to break down her barriers. I know we started a few weeks ago, but it all felt like it was false and forced. Gosh, Bruce, I’m telling you too much, aren’t I? In a relative sense, I’ve just met you.”
“Don’t worry yourself,” Bruce returned.
Carmella stepped back from the screen door. Her tears had now fully streaked her cheeks. She wasn’t sure how to enter this scene. She felt like a deleted character in a film, as though her scene had been scrapped because the movie was too long and complicated already. She just stood there not knowing what to do, then she continued to hover, until all too soon, Elsa appeared in the screen door and bucked back, surprised.
“Carmella!” Her eyes connected with hers through the screen. She gave no smile. “Carmella,” she echoed. “How long have you been standing there?”
Carmella wiped her cheeks clean of tears. She then lifted the natural bottle of wine and said, “It doesn’t matter.”
Elsa opened the door so that the screen door screeched like a wild animal. Their eyes fully connected, now.
“I just never got over it,” Carmella finally said. These were words she’d never said to anyone, yet they sizzled with the truth. “I never got over Colton’s death. He was my best friend, Elsa. And then, I made one wrong move, and he was gone forever. I just couldn’t fathom that. It made me feel as though every other decision I made for the rest of my life would result in something similarly awful. I grew totally paralyzed over the years. I haven’t been able to fall in love or have babies or make anything out of my life, all because of that day. And I know it killed pieces of Mom and Dad, too.”
Elsa’s own eyes now welled with tears. “They didn’t blame you, Carm. They couldn’t have. You were just a kid. It was an accident.”
“I know. But I just worried — heck, I still worry that they built up some kind of irrational hatred toward me.”
Elsa shook her head. She then stepped through the doorway and flung her arms around Carmella. She shook violently with sorrow as Carmella dug her chin into Elsa’s shoulder.
“They didn’t hate you. They loved you so much!” Elsa cried. “And I love you, more than words, more than life itself. Carmella, don’t you know how much I love you?” She leaned back and gripped Carmella’s shoulders. Her eyes were formidable and violent in their blue coloring.
At that moment, Nancy, Janine, Mallory, and baby Zachery entered the house on the other side of the living area. Carmella flung her head around to catch sight of them — a beautiful mixed family of strong women.
“Well, Carmella! I didn’t know you were coming for the barbecue!” Nancy cried. There wasn’t a single air of anger behind her words.
Janine rushed across the room and joined the two girls in a group hug. “I spoke with Helen just now! She said she talked endless poetics about our Katama Lodge to Lola Sheridan for that article. I think we’re going to be okay. We’re really going to be okay.”
The hug was one of endless warmth. It reminded Carmella of being a little girl, all wrapped up in the arms of her mother post-bath. She remembered that her mother used to put her towel in the dryer for a few minutes before bath time to allow her to enclose Carmella in the most tender of embraces.
They sat out on the porch, just as they had done a thousand times before, as Bruce cranked up the grill. Henry arrived shortly after. He greeted everyone and then dotted a kiss directly on Janine’s lips — a fact that made her cheeks burn crimson. A few minutes later, Alyssa, Janine’s youngest, arrived with a wide selection of fruits, vegetables, and bags of chips. “I couldn’t decide on whether or not I wanted to be healthy or not,” she admitted with a shrug. “So I thought it was better to have options.”
“Oh, Carm. You should really invite Cody tonight!” Elsa said brightly as she rose up to help Bruce with something at the grill.
Carmella’s heart banged away with sorrow. “I don’t know. He said he’s busy with something tonight.”
“Oh, shoot. Something with Gretchen?”
“Yeah. You know how it is.”
“He must be one of the best dads ever,” Elsa affirmed. “He’s so kind and considerate. I can’t believe Fiona bailed on him. She should have clung to that guy with everything she had.”
Carmella’s eyes threatened to spill tears again. Thankfully, Elsa turned back to the grill and splayed each chicken breast with homemade BBQ sauce. Nancy began to talk excitedly to Janine about a new yoga technique she had recently refined, while Alyssa and Mallory flipped through a magazine with “best summer styles” splayed on every page. Carmella wanted to remind the girls that summer was very nearly over; these were the final days of it. But why would she bring such darkness to such a glorious day? The o
ld Carmella would have done that. Not her. Not now.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Therapy?” Elsa stood in the doorway of Carmella’s acupuncturist room and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’ve been going? All this time?”
“Not a really long time,” Carmella admitted. She adjusted a gold earring into her right ear and forced herself to look Elsa in the eye. “But she did say it would benefit us to maybe go together. If you’d be game for that.”
Elsa dropped her gaze to the floor. It was clear that for Elsa, the idea felt out of left field. For Carmella, it was a necessary step toward healing. Plus, hadn’t Elsa said that their entire nuclear family had needed to heal but just hadn’t been fully equipped enough to do it?
“Okay. We can try it,” Elsa replied, giving her sister an assured smile.
“That’s all anything is, right? Just trying to move forward. Failing and trying again.”
Elsa squeezed her eyes tightly closed. “I hear Janine and Nancy say those types of things to our clients all the time. It difficult for me to take the advice to heart. Sometimes, it just feels like something we sell to the masses rather than something I fully believe in. I guess we should implement what we teach.”
“It’s real, Elsa. It has to be,” Carmella breathed. “It’s what the Lodge stands for. It’s — it’s what Dad worked for all these years.”
“But he hurt you, so, so badly.”
Carmella nodded. “People hurt people. It’s a fact of life.”
There was the vibrant cry of Zachery from down the hallway. Elsa and Carmella locked eyes in understanding that Lucas had arrived, which meant it was nearly time to attend the end of summer festival, located in downtown Edgartown.
“Can you believe it’s already the end of summer festival?” Elsa asked as they walked side-by-side toward the foyer.
“In a way, it’s been the longest summer of my life,” Carmella said with a laugh.
“I know what you mean,” Elsa said. “But I still want time to stop for just the slightest bit. Everything is in flux right now. Baby Zachery is only one and absolutely perfect. Mallory lives with me for the first time in years! And things with Bruce, well....”
Carmella jabbed Elsa in the side with her elbow. “Go on...”
“I don’t know! Who ever knows what will happen next? All I can say is, this beginning part, with all the butterflies, dates, and text messaging, is exciting. I kind of forgot about the courting process. It was a million years ago with Aiden. That time was covered up with babies, diapers, mortgages and bills and all that. Now, I remember the magic of romance. It’s totally blowing me away.”
“I think I want to hear about this a whole lot more,” Carmella said.
When they reached the foyer, they found the happy threesome, Mallory, Lucas and Zachery. Mallory had dressed Zachery up in a little sailing costume with blue and white stripes, and he buzzed his lips post-cry as though he had never exhibited such pain to the world. Lucas smiled at both Elsa and Carmella, with a lingering smile toward Elsa. Carmella sensed that he was still attempting to get into her good graces.
“Shall we head up to the festival?” Elsa asked. “Bruce plans to meet us there.”
Janine whipped down the hall a moment later and cried, “I’m ready!” She then appeared in a beautiful light yellow frock with puffy sleeves and a cinched waist. She beamed at them and whipped her hair behind her shoulders. “Henry’s meeting us there, too. I wish the girls could make it. Apparently, there’s some huge event in Manhattan, of all places.”
“Of all places,” Elsa teased. “To hear you talk about New York, these days, it’s like you’ve never even been there.”
“Maybe it’s true. You can take the girl out of the New York, and you can, actually, take the New York out of the girl?” Janine said.
“I don’t know, either. That accent still comes through now and again,” Carmella teased.
Janine cackled. “You got me there.” Her smile was electric. Carmella reasoned that this was because Carmella wasn’t frequently the one who cracked jokes or who teased others. This was because she had never felt such a level of comfort with anyone before.
Well, anyone but Cody, of course.
“How’s the article doing?” Janine asked as they headed out the door.
“Oh, gosh, phenomenal,” Elsa told her. “Did you read what Helen said?”
“I did,” Janine replied. “She talked about the Lodge like it was heaven on earth.”
“Yep. The phone’s been ringing off the hook ever since it came out,” Mallory affirmed. “We’ve filled up all the spots that had been canceled in the wake of Cal’s article and we’ve booked ourselves solid till January if you can believe it.”
“That’s wonderful!” Elsa’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much. She then flashed her eyes toward Carmella and said, “Sis, I can’t thank you enough for saving the day. Seriously. That article was such a fantastic idea.”
Carmella blushed. “I just hope that Cal read it. I hope he knew it was a direct attack from yours truly.”
“Yes!” Janine hollered as she lifted her fist through the air and pumped it. “What a halfwit.”
“He should know better than to mess with the Remington girls,” Elsa smirked, then winked at her sister.
Carmella returned the smile, even as her stomach clenched strangely. It was a difficult thing for her, still reckoning the fact that she’d fallen for someone truly evil. Could she trust her instincts at all, moving forward? And what did it mean for her, now that Cody had abandoned her as a friend? Was she just poison?
The end of summer festival was in full swing. As usual, finding a parking spot was akin to finding a needle in a haystack. Everyone in the van — Janine, Carmella, Mallory, and Lucas yelped to the driver, Elsa, when they noted any sign of attack, any potential spot. Finally, after twenty-five minutes of circling, they pulled into the abandoned spot of what seemed to be Jennifer Conrad’s car, although Carmella couldn’t be sure.
“Where’s she off to?” Elsa asked, confirming it as she waved a hand toward Jennifer. “The party’s only just begun!”
“We have to plan out our eating schedule for the night,” Janine said as she stepped out of the van. “I’ve heard there’s killer clam chowder at one of the kiosks. But I’m hankering for a corndog.”
“A corndog!” Elsa cackled. “I haven’t had a corndog in maybe twenty years?”
“Me neither. That’s why I want it so bad,” Janine affirmed. “I want to feel what it felt like to be twenty again without a care in the world. Heck, maybe I’ll have two corndogs. Oh, look! There’s Henry!”
Henry appeared on the right-hand side of what looked to be a cotton candy stand. He waved a hand and adjusted his hat as his eyes latched to Janine’s. For a moment, it really was as if the two of them were just young lovers at the very beginning of their life and making plans to take on the world, side-by-side. Janine rushed up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, then turned back to make sure the others followed along.
“She’s so smitten, isn’t she?” Elsa murmured under her breath.
“You think he’s good enough for our Janine?” Carmella asked.
Elsa gave Carmella a surprised smile. “You know, I have begun to think of her that way. Bit-by-bit, she’s become our Janine. Our other sister from another mother.”
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Carmella asked. “To have another sibling. For so long, it was just the two of us.”
“Yes, it was just the two of us. And we hardly knew what to do with that.”
They wandered through the many kiosks that were set up with various different foods and drink — the pulled pork sandwiches and shrimp tacos and clam chowder and locally-brewed beer and wine. Laughter seemed endless as it curled out from every nook and cranny and created a cacophony of song around them. Carmella selected a glass of wine from a local vendor and then laced her arm through Elsa’s, just as Elsa pointed forward toward Bruce, there off to the side of a cr
owd that had gathered near the concert stage.
“There he is. That handsome man,” Elsa breathed.
“Go get him, tiger,” Carmella encouraged.
“Come with me,” Elsa said. “I want you and Bruce to be friends too, you know.”
“Of course. Sure. Yeah, let’s go.” Carmella felt slightly hesitant, even as she extended her stride alongside Elsa’s. They breezed through the crowd, halting just once, as a little girl ducked out in front of them. Elsa pulled her foot back and let out a feigned screech.
“Ah! What is this creature in my path?”
The little girl erupted into giggles as though she’d done all of this on purpose. Carmella recognized the little girl immediately and knew in an instant that the girl had, in fact, done all this on purpose. For this little girl, this tiny mischievous thing before them was Gretchen, Cody’s daughter.
“Gretchen! You little monkey,” Carmella squealed, careful not to miss a beat. She dropped to a squat and caught Gretchen’s eyes. “Where are you off to? Are you going to force your daddy to buy you all the cotton candy in the world?”
“Yes,” Gretchen said, in that way she always did, where she stuck her tongue out the slightest bit and made a hissing sound.
Above her, Cody appeared, gasping for breath. “She’s in a running phase,” he explained. He, too, dropped to a squat, placed his hands tenderly around his daughter’s stomach to support her, and remained careful not to make eye contact with Carmella.
“She’s fast,” Elsa said, impressed.
“She sure is. Already practicing for the track team,” Cody replied.
Fiona appeared behind them after that. Carmella’s heart cracked in two as the woman’s eyes met hers. She stood from her squat and presented what Elsa would describe later as “the fakest smile” she’d ever seen.
“Hi, Fiona. It’s been a long time.”
Fiona stepped forward with two beers in hand. “Carmella. Elsa. Good to see you two again. Code, I got you an IPA.”
“Thanks.” Cody took the bottle and lifted it as his right hand dropped down to latch around Gretchen’s.
Summertime Nights Page 13
