by Jordan Deen
could never understand the connection that she had with Matt.
“What happens to me if I choose not to transform? Is there a way that I can stop from becoming a werewolf and your family is not hurt and nor is mine?”
Emile’s eyes narrowed. “Brandon is already transformed. If you don’t, then he will die.” The corners of her mouth pulled down harshly towards her chin. “You don’t have the option not to transform.”
“There has to be a way to keep your family and mine safe.”
She stared at me. “There isn’t. Michael and I already discussed what we would do if we couldn’t find you in time. We thought of taking Brandon to other packs, trying to find a way to mate him again. We never found anyone that could help us. That is when we all agreed we wouldn’t stop until we found you.” Emile looked at me with hope in her eyes. “Now that we’ve found you …” She swallowed as more tears formed in her eyes. “All we need is to bring Brandon home.” Emile ran her finger down the crease in her skirt again. “I know this is hard to believe since your surrogate parents didn’t prepare you. But the quicker we catch you up to speed, the easier your transformation will be for you. Plus you’ll have Brandon to help you through. His knowledge and support will be invaluable.” She pressed the back of her hand to my forehead and then my cheek. “You are still warm.” She went into the kitchen. “Michael, maybe we should call a healer for her.”
He responded. “How do you expect us to get a healer down here from Oregon?”
“We need to find one here.” Emile looked back at me and then stepped out of sight into the kitchen. But I could still hear her whispering. “If something happens to her, I’ll never forgive myself for not calling on a healer.” Desperation filled her voice and her words wavered. She would do anything to get me transformed to save her son. She couldn’t bother with what is best for me, when her son’s life was at stake.
I felt my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out and dreaded the decision instantly. It was my house number. My mother or father was home and probably wondering where I was. I answered it quietly and slipped down the hallway to the bathroom.
“Lacey? Where are you honey?”
I hesitated, panic and queasiness building in my stomach. “Sorry Mom. One of the guys from band called. His dog is sick, so I came to help him. I’m on my way now.”
“Do you need us to come get you? Are you feeling any better?”
“No Mom, I’ll be on my way soon.”
“Ok dear. I love you.” Mom sounded as if nothing was wrong other than her concern for me.
I walked back into the living room. Emile was still trying to convince Michael to call a healer for me. “But if she dies, Brandon dies.”
“She’s not going to die as long as we keep her here and control her change.” Michael said as low as he could, but they didn’t realize how close I was standing to the kitchen doorway. The heat radiating from my body was boiling my brain and all my other organs. Sweat was forming on the back of my neck and in my palms. I needed to get back to a situation I could control, and being in their house, I had no control of anything—including my heartbeat.
I turned quietly from the kitchen, picked up my bag and slipped out the front door. I wrangled with my bike to get it out of the bushes and jumped on it pedaling as fast as I could towards my house.
All the way home my skin felt as if it was being ripped away from my muscles. I didn’t want to look back for fear that Trevor, Matt and Lily would be standing on the sidewalk, but also joined by Emile and Michael. I couldn’t help Brandon; at this point I had no idea how to help myself. Emile and Lily were so certain that I was supposed to be with Brandon, but how could I turn away from everything I’d ever known.
I composed myself for a few moments in the garage, wondering what my parents would say to me when I walked in the door. I wondered if my mother had believed my story. Dad was in front of the TV watching football when I came through the door.
The smell of my mother’s meatloaf wafted from the kitchen; it made my stomach churn and I got lightheaded.
“Hey kid!” Dad barely looked away from the TV.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Mom poked her head from the kitchen followed by Aunt Jamie.
“Hey, is your friend’s dog ok? Do you need me to go over there?” she offered.
“No. It turned out to be nothing. The dog was throwing up. He just got into some bad lunchmeat.” I was digging myself a hole and it felt like the dirt was about to fall in around me. “You know, I’m not feeling so good. I’m going up to my room to lie down again.”
Mom and my aunt both stared at me intently, making me doubt that neither of them really believed my story. “Are you sure you don’t want to eat?”
“No. I’m not hungry.” I responded as I slowly climbed the stairs, eavesdropping as I went.
My aunt whispered, “Do you notice how much weight she’s lost?”
“Yeah, Jack brought it up this week. He thinks she’s just trying to get in shape because of Alex.” Their voices trailed off into the kitchen. Hopefully they thought my absence was because of Alex too.
I tossed my bag onto my chair and flung myself on the bed. “Why did you leave?” Lily walked out of the shadows of my bathroom. I jumped and almost screamed, but threw my hands over my mouth quickly—mostly to stop the projectiles that threatened to come from my stomach at that moment.
Lily’s eyes were red from crying and trails of tears streaked down her cheeks. It made me feel horrible for her, but my own sanity was at risk. “Lily, I can’t do this. I can’t hurt my family. I have only seen Brandon two times and I’m not even sure that one of those times was real.”
“Lacey, you are his mate. When he came home after meeting you he was so excited; you should have seen him. He held your hand less than five minutes and he was glowing. When he is with us he never stops talking about you. Brandon loves you more than anything else in this world. He would give his LIFE for you.” She hesitated, lowering her voice. “You can’t tell him that you don’t want to change. I’m terrified that he will let himself die to give you what you want because you are more important to him than his own safety.”
“Lily, I’m trying to do what is right. I need to talk to Brandon.”
She grabbed my hand roughly and turned my palm over, holding it close to her face. “The minute you see him, your hand will throb, your heart will pound out of your chest, and you won’t be able to breathe. Why do you think you can’t eat and you’re not sleeping right now? It’s because you’ve been away from him too long. Your body isn’t fighting the change; it’s fighting you being away from him.”
“Lily, you are just a child.” I jerked my hand away from her.
Lily wrinkled her forehead pulling her eyes together towards her nose. “You are selfish.” She practically yelled at me, but in a muted, childish way.
“Lily, you just don’t understand. There are things I can’t do anything about. This is my home, my family.” I could hear Dad’s heavy footsteps on the stairs.
Lily lowered her voice to a growl. “You will start to learn that home is where ever Brandon is, where ever you make it . . . with him.”
“Lacey?” Dad knocked at the bedroom door distracting me from the tense standoff between Lily and I.
“Yeah, Dad?” I looked over at the door and watched as he surveyed my room. I followed his eyes back to my bathroom. Lily was gone.
“Is everything ok? Who were you talking to?” His eyes landed squarely back on mine.
“I forgot that Grant wasn’t here anymore.” I sheepishly smiled. That was the lamest excuse ever.
“Are you sure you’re feeling ok?” Dad raised his eyebrow.
“I’m sorry, Dad. I just still don’t feel good.” I covered my forehead with my hand. It still felt like I was on fire.
Dad stepped closer to me and studied my face. “Should we call a doctor for you?” He placed his hand over my forehead. “I’m going to have your mom bring you up some cold towel
s. You have a fever.” I seriously doubted cold towels would help. I couldn’t tell him that I had already tried that.
“I know, Dad.” I brushed his hand away. “I’m going to take a cool bath.”
Dad kissed my forehead. I started breathing easier when he backed out of my room.
I looked all over my bathroom and bedroom for Lily. She was gone. I splashed cool water on my face and stared at my palm. I wished the moon were still there, I wished I still felt that connection with Brandon. I thought of the first day he touched me, his passionate kiss in the nurse’s office and the dreams of him being near me. Being near Emile and Lily made me focus on the addictive, romantic, perfect dreams of Brandon; not the nightmares I had of him lately. I needed the perfect dreams to come back to me.
I couldn’t explain why but that need was the only reason I almost believed what Lily and Emile had told me. I lay down in bed tossing my grandmother’s blanket onto the chair and curling up with my sheets. I closed my eyes tightly and forced images of Brandon to the front of my mind trying to will the dreams to come. I pressed out every other image except my favorite dream of waking up next to him with the sun beaming through the windows, the love and want he held for me in his eyes. I replayed that image over and over again until I drifted off to sleep.
I woke to Framing Hanley smoothly playing from the speakers in my room. Brandon’s hands felt as soft as an angel’s as he traced my collarbone;
