by V. K. Ludwig
“Why did they need so many towers?” Autumn asked.
We both loaded a bucket with our hands, our fingers brushing against each other. Each time her gritty skin touched mine, jolts of electricity sparked through me.
“To lock up beautiful women of course, just like in the fairytales. Maybe the sister of a chieftain?”
“I see.” She flicked me a playful smirk. “And then what happens?”
“Then a brave knight will come and rescue you. Maybe slay a dragon on the way there. And he will win your hand in marriage.”
“Yeah, that sounds a lot like back home. You prove yourself as strong and capable of keeping a woman safe, then you get to marry her.”
Ruth had long stopped pushing sand around and let herself fall on her behind. “I thought you marry for love? Isn’t that what the clans are all about? Find a mate you feel connected to and procreate with only that one person?”
“Now you made it sound even less romantic,” Autumn said. “I mean, Rowan allows us to go on dates and get to know each other as long as the guys keep physical distance. But that doesn’t change the fact that only the strongest guys have a chance.”
Svea pushed her sunglasses deeper onto the bridge of her nose. “And you don’t like that?”
Autumn considered her answer for a long moment, pushing her thumb into one of the towers to create windows. “It’s ok I guess, considering most marriages were arranged before my brother became chieftain. I just wish I would get to spend quality time with someone before I marry him. After all, I will have to spend the rest of my life with him.”
“What do you mean by quality time?” Svea asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe… go for walks together and talk about the world. Cook something together. Watch an old movie together. Or —”
“Build a sandcastle together,” it spilled out of me.
Ruth’s eyes opened wide, and she formed her mouth into a silent ’no’. She jerked her head toward Svea who already stared at me over the rim of her shades.
Autumn noticed Ruth’s grimace and deflated the situation. “We don’t have beaches back home, Max. And I doubt dirt will come together as well as sand. Anyway, I was about to say that maybe a kiss would be nice. Just to see what it makes you feel when you are that close to a person.”
A kiss.
The word turned my ears fever hot.
Did she feel anything when I kissed her yesterday?
The way she had licked her lips when she said it made me want to pull her in for another one. Preferably with her on top of me like yesterday, grinding herself against my hard cock. Damn, Max. Whatever that was yesterday, she isn’t your plaything.
“I want to walk along the beach for a bit,” Svea said. “Want to come with me, Ruth?”
Before Ruth could say anything, Autumn jumped up. “I’ll go with you if you’ll have me. At least I can go back home saying I took a walk along the beach with the youngest councilwoman.” They took off, a gentle breeze carrying Autumn’s excited voice over to us.
Ruth crawled onto the picnic blanket and threw herself on her back. “Max, you are insane for saying something like that in front of Svea. She might be young, but she is a councilwoman and holds the highest IQ in the Districts.” She propped herself up on her elbows and gave me a blameful look. “What is going on between you and Autumn anyway? I thought this experiment was about if you can control yourself. Not if you can get her to marry you.”
“Marry me?” I tried sounding as shocked as possible. Even flung my hands up as a dramatic effect. But deep inside I knew the words Autumn and marrying combined made my head spin — in a good way. “What are you talking about? Marriage has been outlawed since like forever.”
“You know what I’m talking about. You are obviously physically attracted to her since you exhibit all the signs. But there’s another weird vibe between you two, and that’s what makes you say stuff like that sandcastle example.”
I ignored that last part. What's the point in talking about something neither her nor I understood? “What makes you so sure I am physically attracted to her?”
“Seriously?” She let out one of those snort-laughs. “You stare at her. All. The. Time. And you are pushing your chest out trying to make yourself look bigger whenever she looks at you. That’s typical male behavior when they feel attracted to a female. Apes show the same behavior.”
I grabbed a shovel and dug a moat around our sandcastle, a mutter leaving my lips. “I kissed her. Yesterday on the train, on our way down here.”
“I want to know everything!” Ruth rolled onto her stomach, her eyes glued to my face. “I read somewhere that it feels like a million needles poking your lips, while you detach from reality and your mind floats into space.”
“Where the hell did you read that crap?”
“A book.”
“What kind of book?” I stared her down for a while, but she just shrugged her shoulders, making it clear it’s all I needed to know. “Sounds like someone has been to one of the black-zoned libraries, scooping through the forbidden romance section.”
“Ok, so no floating into space then.” She rolled onto her back once more, followed by a long pause. Yet, not long enough to prepare me for her next question. “Do you want to have sex with her?”
My cock said hell yeah, but my brain made me shake my head. “Not really. My formula isn’t nearly as reliable as I thought, but I am positive it will keep me from crossing that line.”
“That’s good. The consequences would be terrifying.”
I nodded in agreement. Terrifying consequences indeed. I pictured myself sinking into her body. Becoming one with her. The sweetest and most terrible mistake we could make.
Even if she wanted it — and I knew she didn’t — there was no future for us here in the Districts. Excitement and fear took turns at squeezing my chest.
“It’s just an experiment,” I assured Ruth. “I’m not planning on experimenting more, because I already know where I have to adjust the formula a little.”
Two lies in one sentence. I wanted more, and I had no clue how to fix the formula. As a matter of fact, I didn’t care about fixing it anymore. I liked how it didn’t work just fine.
“They’re coming back.” She pushed herself up and gave them a quick wave. “I think it’s good that you don’t want to experiment anymore. Can you imagine what would happen if you slept with her, and you got her pregnant?”
My knees quaked beneath me, and I had to plop myself into the sand. Ruth pointed out what I hadn’t even considered. Not once. What if I got Autumn pregnant? A million thoughts spun through my mind, making the weight of my head triple.
Autumn came running toward me, dangling something fishy smelling in front of my nose. “Check out what I found. Svea said those are the pincers of a crab!”
I had to shake my head a few times to clear the fog. “That is… disgusting. You’re not planning on keeping those, are you?”
“It won’t smell as bad once they dried out.” Her face turned into a mix of conviction and joy. “Rowan would love to see this.”
“It won’t work like that. But how about this. We take them back home, and I will conserve them for you in an alcohol solution?”
A chime sounding from a nearby speaker made us all turn around, and people from the peer came together at the corner of a building.
Svea gestured Ruth to roll up the blanket. “They are about broadcast the interview. If we hurry, we can still get a good spot.”
We packed our stuff, putting the shovels, buckets, and forms back into my yellow tote. We carried our shoes to the peer and slipped them on once we were out of the sand.
“I can’t believe that the girl on the interview is my roommate,” Ruth hollered, causing a few people to turn around and eye us with curiosity.
The projector powered up and threw high beams into the air for everyone to see. From afar, several blocks down, more projectors lit up, the chime luring people from the beach as well as the
surrounding cafe’s.
“Goodness look at you,” Ruth said. “That dress they gave you looked stunning.”
Plato, our most popular news anchor, appeared and a few people in the crowd clapped and whistled.
“That’s weird,” Autumn said, her brows furrowed. “I don’t remember him wearing that ring on his finger.”
Plato’s close-up introduced himself in a smooth voice, oiled enough to make even the passersby turn around and stare at his hologram.
“Today I have the honor of introducing Autumn to you, better known as the clanswoman,” he said.
Mumbles and comments went through the crowd like the wind through windchims. A child stepped behind his mother in hiding.
The camera zoomed out, showing Plato and Autumn seated on two white stools. Behind them, a decommissioned bed amid an endless hallway.
“You’re right,” Ruth said. “Now that the camera is zoomed out, the ring on his finger is gone. That’s so… weird.”
He asked Autumn about some basic stuff like her age, talking with her about the beekeeping she does. Then the camera zoomed in on Plato once more. “Autumn, do you want to tell us how things were before your brother became chieftain? We all heard terrifying stories about men killing each other over females, assaults, and then, of course, that word women had to dread for decades now…” He turned and stared straight at us, his hologram showing the fine lines on the corners of his eyes. “Rape.”
“It was terrible,” Autumn’s hologram replied. “Women had to live in constant fear, and things were out of control. But my brother has been our new chieftain for almost a year now, and I am happy to report that we didn’t have a single incident of rape or assault.”
Plato continued. “But isn’t it true that, and please correct me if I am wrong… but isn’t it true that your clan has gone through many chieftains? And the decent ones among them never lasted longer than what? A year? Two years?”
Autumn folded her hands and placed them onto her lap. “That is correct, Plato.”
The camera zoomed in once more, this time showing Plato with a look of concern on his face. “I guess, we can all only hope that your brother will fare better than the others before him. He surely has a great mind and the council fully supports his course, but we are concerned for his safety.”
“He never said that!” Autumn’s voice shook. “I told him about the law and that my brother is different.”
Her fists clenched by her sides as Plato’s hologram continued. “But yet, the dying continues. Isn’t that true, Autumn? Children are born with terrible diseases, suffering through their lives. Have you witnessed these things back home? And if you did, how does it make you feel?”
“Hm, it definitely leaves a part of me sad and kind of empty.”
“Empty…” He pressed his lips together, shaking his head. “I am sure it must be terrible for you to witness those awful things. Children shouldn’t have to suffer through those things in this day and age, where a solution to all of it is only a couple of hundred miles away.”
I gazed at Autumn who stood next to me, tears welling up behind her light blue eyes. Her entire body stiffened, her lips unable to part. This interview was a stupid idea. I should have known better.
My hand reached for hers, but she slapped it away before I even touched her.
Ruth spun around. “Maybe we should go.”
“No.” Autumn’s voice was a distrust-filled whisper, and that one word opened up a doorway for a single tear. “I want to hear it.”
“This, ladies and gentleman,” Plato said and held his arms out, “is the Serenity Orphan Home. A place where, a long, long time ago, unwanted children found themselves at the mercy of strangers.”
The crowd around us grew restless, the occasional boo raging through the rows. Ruth squeezed her pack as if nothing else was left to hold on to. Svea, however, stared into the nothingness of the crowd, as if she went unaffected by this fake interview.
Plato went on. “It is hard to believe that only two centuries ago, more than two-hundred children died each day because of cancer. More than six-hundred died of abuse and neglect. Autumn, I heard reports of unwanted children. Children who were left at doorsteps in the pouring rain, sometimes sick or suffering from chronic medical problems. Is that true?”
The camera angle changed, once more showing the exact same motion of Autumn folding her hands and then placing them into her lap. “That is correct, Plato.” She gave a slow nod.
The interview continued, but I couldn’t listen to this bullshit anymore.
“This damn interview is nothing but a cut and paste charade,” I said, anger seeping into my guts like liquid fire. How could they use her like that? Abuse her good deed?
“That’s it for me.” Ruth squeezed herself through the bystanders. “I’ll be throwing up back at the beach house if anybody needs to find me.”
“You have only been with us for a short while but,” Plato gave a wink, “would you consider staying?”
“Oh my yes, I have met great people so far. Unfortunately, I —”
“Enough!” I grabbed Autumn’s hand and pulled her behind me, ignoring the way she pouted and pulled her weight against me full force. I left the crowd behind, and she did the same with her reluctance. Eventually, she dangled behind me like a sail without wind.
“You said it was a good idea,” she shouted. “Everybody in this place is just terrible. You are decisive pieces of shit, and I can’t wait to leave you and —”
I swung around, facing her red cheeks and swollen eyes. “Me? You can’t wait to leave me? I had nothing to do with this.”
Slap! Her flat palm hit me right underneath my cheekbone, instantly covering my skin in flames.
“You are one of them,” she spat at me, showing enough teeth to make me understand any approach might end in a bloodbath.
She trailed off, stumbling up the stone stairs toward our beach house.
“You should put some ice on this.”
Svea stared at me, her expression as empty as the now dark and abandoned holo-projector behind her at the corner of the street.
“You knew about this, didn’t you?”
She shrugged her shoulders and replied in a sarcastic undertone. “What did Ruth say again? The council knows what’s best?”
Chapter 16
Max
I stared at the connection door leading to Autumn’s room.
What if she found the mini-bar?
Along with the set of silverware?
The insides of my stomach tumbled, pressing against my bladder — the moment I step through that door, she might stab me to death with a fork.
I optioned for the pool instead, jumped into my swim shorts and sneaked downstairs. After what happened today it struck me as a surprise that everyone seemed asleep. I had tossed and turned and tossed some more until the tossing got me all furious and mad.
A chill pebbled my skin the moment I pushed the sliding door open. Could have been worse, but still bad enough to make me hurry to the heated pool. The waves from the ocean broke from afar, and I lowered myself into the salty water, lit from all sides in a greenish blue from deep below the surface.
I climbed onto one of the partially submerged concrete loungers and sunk myself into its elongated shape. My mind was all kinds of fucked up. Autumn’s eyes had been filled with disappointment and anger today. Anger for everyone inside our walls; including me.
No way I could ever make up for this kind of betrayal. Gravity pulled me deeper into the concrete. It wasn’t even my fault. All I wanted was for her to fulfill a lifetime wish. And maybe kiss her again. Just once before I had to give her up.
“I figured I wouldn’t be the only one who can’t sleep,” a voice sounded from behind me.
Undeniably sweet.
Undeniably hers.
She kneeled right beside me at the edge of the pool, her eyes a midnight blue mirror for the moonlight above us.
“Is this the moment where you d
rown me?”
She cupped my burning cheek, leaving my limbs bloodless. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have slapped you.”
I stared at her, unable to breathe, and let my eyes wander down her perfect body until…
A scar. Not jagged and ugly. But straight and deep red.
A good seven inches long. Maybe eight.
Right there, at the inside of her thighs.
Like an arrow toward what made her a woman.
“Please don’t look at that damn ugly thing.” She flinched and gave a desperate tug on her towel.
I placed my hand on her wrist, a plea in my voice. “Just because something ugly happened to you doesn’t make you ugly.”
Shaky and stiff, her hand bunched up the fabric of the towel. Her eyes stared at the pool tiles, white, rectangular and boring in all aspects as if she relieved a paralyzing memory.
“If you want me to leave just say the words.” I let my fingers intertwine with hers, trying to add some cheerfulness to my voice. “Unless, of course, you are planning on getting in the pool with that towel. But that would defeat the purpose for sure.”
She thought for another second, but eventually rose and untied the towel, letting it drop to the ground. I didn’t say anything, and neither did I ask. Those kinds of things shouldn’t be pushed. But I didn’t need to, because she began talking without a single prompt.
“It was a gutting knife.” She took her hand and climbed over to the other concrete lounger, spreading her legs wide and tracing the scar with her finger. “I don’t think it has been a year yet. Guess I don’t have to name what he wanted. I wrapped one of my legs around the other, pressing my thighs together as strongly as I could manage. Got him really pissed off.”
The lounger fell out from beneath me. I would never do something like that to her. I mean, I had control, right?
She said nothing else for a moment, the air around us growing thick and tense.
