Being here with Emma, with Sebastian this weekend, I’m finally settling in. It even feels like home.
But when Sebastian’s name lights up on my phone with an incoming text, Emma’s words of caution nag at me and tug me back down a hole I know all too well from when my parents constantly told me what to do.
And most importantly, what not to do.
Don’t get that tattoo.
Don’t go out with those friends.
Don’t drop out of school.
And now all I can hear them say is Don’t date a stripper.
Now that it’s getting too real, that I’m contemplating leaving the confines of my bedroom, I panic.
I panic that it’s too much, and I’ll have to let Sebastian go.
The one man who makes me feel wanted, cherished, and sexy.
The one man I could actually fall for.
Chapter 33
Sebastian
The day after I leave LA, I miss Kendall immediately. Ty called me a pussy this morning on our way to San Diego to continue the tour along the coast, but I don’t mind.
Especially when I get a picture of Kendall at the gym.
She’s very noticeably sweaty, with armpit stains and all, although it does look like she’s trying to hide them with the way she angles her body. Loose strands of hair stick out to one side, and she’s making a duck face that makes her squint.
She’s not doing anything purposely sexy, and that’s exactly why it turns me on.
Her face is glowing, probably from sweat, but to me, she’s simply glowing.
If we weren’t on this tour right now, I’d stay buried inside of Kendall Gray for the next couple weeks straight, letting her laugh and terrible shower singing consume me.
“Weekend was good, then?” Leo lies down on the chair next to me. We’re by the pool, resting up before tonight’s show. “You’ve been smiling nonstop.”
“Yeah, it was good.” Good is an understatement, but my pride can’t handle being called a pussy for the second time today.
“Glad what I told you didn’t stop you. Deciding whether or not to tell you was tearing me up inside.” He sits up and leans over. “Not to bring it back up again unnecessarily. Sorry, man.”
I wave him off, even though my jaw tics. “It’s fine, but no, I’d rather not talk about it.”
“But if you need to, you know you can come to me.”
I fist-bump him to end the conversation, but he’s not done. “You talk to your mom?”
Leo is only a few years older than I am, but the way he fathers us makes him seem much older. And as much as I appreciate it, I was on a good high—a Kendall high—before this conversation started bringing me down.
Because truthfully, I haven’t thought much about Joelle and the news of her engagement. Haven’t thought about my mom. Haven’t thought about anything but Kendall’s vanilla scent and sun-kissed skin, my new happy place. Even better than the gym. Hell, at this point I’d say better than the beach, and I love the beach.
“I haven’t,” I manage. “She didn’t answer my call yesterday, but that’s not unusual. She’ll probably call back. Even if it is in three weeks.”
“What’re you ladies gossiping about over here?” Ty interrupts. “Do I need to bring the mimosas? Maybe have them put a tiny umbrella in it for you?”
“Sounds like someone’s been hitting the alcohol already.”
“Nah, just happy you’re finally getting some on the regular.” He slaps my knee. “Is that what you’re talking about? That sweet thing you spent all weekend in bed with? Because I do not want to miss this.”
“I already told you everything, douchebag.”
“Yeah, but hearing it a second time is even better.”
“Says the guy who hooked up with, what, three different girls this weekend? And my story with one girl is juicy?”
“But it’s the first girl for you in over a year, dude!” he says rather loudly, which attracts the attention of a small group of girls to our left who just arrived. They make eyes at Ty first and continue to Leo before landing on me. Not having seen them or being so used to it that he doesn’t notice anymore, Ty continues with his hands under his chin. “This is what girls must feel like when watching Oprah or the Kardashians. Like they’re on the edge of their seats with their hearts ready to burst.” He scoots to the edge of the chair for emphasis and rests his head on one hand, giving me googly eyes.
“It’s not that big of a deal. I just met her a few weeks ago,” I say as my own heart is about to explode. “Besides, I’ve been with women since Joelle.”
Ty scoffs. “What, that one girl you didn’t even spend the whole night with?”
I roll my eyes, wanting to correct him, that there have been at least three one-night stands, but there’s no use.
“Don’t play this down now, Sebastian.” Leo rolls his eyes to Ty.
I swing my legs around the chair, not wanting to get into this right now. Kendall is great, and while she’s got me by the cock, I still haven’t won her over.
I can’t get too excited over this. That’s what happened with Joelle, and look at how that ended.
She’s getting married.
And not to me this time.
“Don’t leave,” Ty pleads. “We’ll stop. We’ll behave and not ask about her ass.”
“Okay, Ty,” Leo steps in once Ty crosses the line. “Let him be.”
“I’m just fucking around guys.” Then Ty drops his tone lower, dropping the humor too. Eyeing me, he asks, “Obviously, it’s more serious than just looking at her nice ass.”
I make a noncommittal sound, unsure of where he’s going with this.
“Have you told her about Joelle?”
My jaw tics again as a natural reaction to her name, like she’s cursed me. Being the witch she is, I’d believe it.
“You haven’t told her yet?” Leo’s self-righteousness drips from his words.
“It still hasn’t come up.” I shrug as they both give me doubtful looks, my guilt slowly eating at me. “I’ll tell her next time I see her.” And before they can ask, I add, “And I don’t know when that’ll be.”
“This is like the Kardashians,” Ty says dreamily, and I roll my eyes again.
But the nausea building in my stomach stays there for the rest of the afternoon. The sun is high, and a cool breeze rolls in every now and then for a good balance. The universe seems to know how to balance.
Like when one bad thing happens, it balances out with the good.
When it’s hot, it sends a cool current to give you relief.
When Joelle left me, it sent me Kendall. Sweet, sexy Kendall.
Which is why I can’t tell her about my past, not yet. Not when I’m still trying to win her over. Telling her I was engaged before, lost a business to my uncle, and barely speak to my mother?
That would not win over a small-town girl with big eyes and lips, and even bigger dreams. Because she might act like a city girl with a big attitude, but deep down, I know she still has some small town in her. A part of her that wants simple and sweet, not my drama.
No, my drama would scare her.
Chapter 34
Kendall
Sebastian and I have texted frequently the last few days since his visit, so much that I’ve come to expect a good morning and good night text from him. But I don’t expect it when he calls me one night later that week.
And I definitely don’t expect the casual way he does so, and the casual way I answer. Like it’s normal for us. The thought of it being a regular thing excites me.
“Hey, baby,” he says, and at the sound of his gruff yet cheerful voice, at the way he calls me baby, I want this to be our normal. I want to talk to him on the phone when he’s away.
I want him to call me baby again.
“I’m sorry, who is this?” I tease.
“Ouch,” he says, and I can imagine him clutching his chest dramatically in the only way he knows how to be. “Moved on already?”
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“Well, what’s a girl to do around here without a certain sexy stripper to entertain her?” As soon as the joke leaves my mouth, I attempt to correct it, unsure of whether or not this is a sore topic since we last talked about it. “Er… I…”
But he bursts out laughing before I can form whole sentences. “I’ll fly back right now to keep you from being lonely.”
“I keep myself busy with thoughts of you, especially at night when I touch myself.”
There’s shuffling on the other end like he dropped the phone. “That’s… fucking hot,” he growls and exhales.
“Oh?” I manage, the only thing I can say. The change of tone in the last ten seconds has me reeling, losing control as always when Sebastian is involved.
“Where are you right now?”
I gulp. “At work. Took my break when I saw your call.”
He curses. “Call me when you get home. I want to hear you come for me.”
I gasp lightly, then hang up with my hand over my mouth at the sultry edge to his otherwise humorous tone.
I’m ready to run home right now.
I go through the motions during most of my shift, only snapping out of my trance when Margo blurts out at me, “Is that you?” She fumbles with her phone to show me what’s on it. I can’t decide if her face is one of terror or shock, but then she grins mischievously and nudges George in the side.
I peer over both of their shoulders, leaning between them to see what’s on the phone. “What the fuck is that?” I grab her phone and zoom in to make sure I’m seeing this correctly. And sure enough, it’s Emma’s Instagram post with a picture of me at the gym, sweaty and taking my shirt off with a sports bra underneath. I’m looking somewhere in the distance, and I remember wearing that outfit last weekend when Emma and I went to the gym with the guys. Underneath her post is #WomanCrushWednesday.
When did Emma even take this?
“You look hot, Kendall from Alabama.” George booty-bumps me. “Shed that conservative southern skin real quick and exchanged it for an LA tan and legs for days.”
I’m still speechless as he and Margo exchange comments about how perfectly my ass is sticking out, emphasized in my pink spandex capris. My abs are even showing with the lighting from the sunlight shining through the open door.
I couldn’t have posed better if I’d tried.
If I’d seen this on Instagram elsewhere, I’d think it was a sexy-as-hell yet tasteful picture. But it being me, I panic and immediately turn away before I can read the comments. I’m sure they’re all wondering who the skank is and why she’s on there like that, when I wasn’t even consciously posing.
I didn’t even know she took it, let alone that she was going to post it.
“Holy shit.” Margo giggles. “You have like thirty comments, and it’s only been up for less than an hour.”
I don’t want to know what vicious words have been thrown my way. I’ve had enough of them my whole life.
I nod, heading toward a customer who just walked in. “I’m sure they’re all super kind too,” I call over my shoulder, making sure to emphasize the sarcasm.
My fingers itch to dissect each and every comment, but I continue toward the customer and plaster a smile on my face when I get close.
When the customer leaves with two pairs of sandals, ones I myself will have to buy with summer approaching, I grab my phone and hover over the Instagram app. I fight with myself like I do when I approach a stop sign at the same time as another vehicle and can’t decide who goes first.
I end up texting Emma instead, but I rein in my crazy because the picture is actually a good one and shows how much progress I’ve made. Deep down, I know I just want reassurance that others thought so as well, but I can’t come out and ask her. That’d be conceited.
I get a response immediately.
Emma: Isn’t it cute? I took it when you weren’t looking. More natural that way, like Samantha.
She follows with an emoji rolling its eyes, but I know she’s laughing.
And as I leave work, I send her a thank-you text. Thanks to her post, I’ve gained several new followers from those who know her through her yoga studio.
Even though my stomach still feels queasy, I’m smiling when I get home, not only because of Emma’s post, but also my call with Sebastian.
When he answers, he skips the pleasantries and says instead, “Are you in bed with your clothes off yet?”
“Yes,” I breathe into the phone, already turned on by his eagerness. His hunger for me. “Are you? Fair’s fair.”
“Of course. I’ve been waiting for you since we hung up last.”
“Mm-hmm…”
“Are you touching yourself?”
“Yeah, but I wish it was you,” I whisper, closing my eyes as I slide my hand into my panties. I picture Sebastian leaning over me, smirking as I unravel beneath him, his length against my inner thighs as he works me to my release.
“You still with me? You have to share in the fun.”
“Mm-hmm.” My voice raspy, as I’m unable to form coherent words, let alone full sentences.
When I moan his name into the phone, he demands, “That’s right, say my name. Picture me with you, worshipping you.”
“Yes… yes,” I say as I work myself faster, hearing him shuffling.
“Faster, baby. Come for me,” he grunts. “Come for me.”
“Fuck, Sebastian,” I say around the same time he also curses and grunts again. I know he found his release as well. He was ready for me indeed.
A slow smile spreads across my face in the darkness, and I wish he was here to spoon and hold me against his hard yet warm chest. So I could fall asleep to the sounds of his soft snores while tracing the tattoo on his chest.
Heavy breathing and our soft sighs of pleasure fill the phone line and room.
No one gets me off like Sebastian. Even when he’s hundreds of miles away, he has a stronger effect on me than anyone I’ve ever met. Not even the screenshot on my phone of Channing Tatum, shirtless and sweaty, has ever been able to get me off.
I’m elated, spent from the day and our sexcapades. My eyes remain closed as I blurt out, “Come to my sister’s wedding with me.”
Silence.
Then, “Really? To Alabama?”
I sit up and wipe my hand down my face. “Yeah, but if you don’t want to, I understand. I know you’re busy and—”
“I’d love to,” he says softly, in reverence even.
I smile at his answer but panic the minute we hang up.
I’m bringing a stripper to my sister’s wedding.
A wedding where all my conservative, traditional relatives will be in one place, suffocating me.
I’ll no longer be able to hide him and this part of my life. I’ll be on display, yet again, to be judged.
And I don’t know if I’m ready for that.
Chapter 35
Sebastian
She asked me to be her date at her sister’s wedding.
I’ve been desperate to keep her, to claim her as mine, and the fact that she wants me to meet her family means she wants me just as much.
I’ve won her over. Didn’t think this would happen again after Joelle, but I found someone who accepts me, unlike Joelle did. Unlike my uncle or my mom.
Unlike my dad who was never around, who left before I was born. I didn’t even get a chance to show him who I was before he decided he didn’t accept me.
I used to think all I had were the boys at Naked Heat, but now I have them—my family—and Kendall. My city girl with southern charm.
The rest of the week, I’m in the best mood, counting down the days until the wedding. It’s right in the middle of our tour, but Leo gladly gave me the weekend off.
Anything to get me to have a life again.
At the hotel, I step out of the shower and grab a towel when my phone starts vibrating on the counter.
Mom.
I answer, “You called sooner than expected.”
&n
bsp; “What’s that supposed to mean?” She yawns on the other end, and I imagine her with a cup of coffee in each hand because she can’t drink it fast enough. “Listen, I called to tell you I’m home helping Sid and Joelle. I assume you heard?” Without waiting for an answer, she continues, “They decided to move the date up to next weekend. God, like they can’t wait another couple months. Now they’re inconveniencing everyone with this short notice. Did you know I had to take off this week and lose my vacation later this year? It was so last minute, I couldn’t plan accordingly. Sid was always selfish.”
“You’re telling me.” My teeth grind together so hard I might chip one.
Silence answers as I get lost in my anger at Joelle and Sid—the guy she cheated on me with. If only he was a normal guy—it would’ve hurt, but what she did was even worse. My teeth grind harder.
I think my mom has finally run out of things to say for fear of putting her foot in her mouth again. And here I thought she’d forgotten about the whole situation.
“How long have you been home?” I ask, focusing on us instead of the she-devil and her demon king.
“A week or so. Are you—”
“A week? And you’re just now telling me?”
“Don’t be so dramatic. I know you’re busy, anyway.”
“Right.” I shake my head, not at her but at myself, for being disappointed when I know better. She didn’t know I was on tour. I never told her, and there’s no way in hell she looked up our tour schedule herself. She avoids the topic of Naked Heat at all cost. The mere thought of her only son growing up to be a stripper is enough to give her crow’s feet that she can’t afford to keep Botoxing. “Speaking of being busy, I have to go. Got plans.”
“Before you rudely cut me off, I was trying to ask you a question. You’ll be able to get off this weekend, right? We’ll ride together up to Lake Tahoe for the wedding and—”
“You’re joking, right?”
“Stop cutting me off. I raised you better than that.”
“Really? Because I don’t remember you ever being around.”
“Sebastian, what has gotten into you?”
“I’m not going to that fucking wedding.”
Strip for Me Page 16
