by Chuck Buda
James swallowed. “Cause he’s dead?”
Gunderson stood up. “Nah. Lives in Arizona with his two-timing wife and six rotten kids. But that scar is all I have left to remember my brother by. Do you want to leave Carson with a memory like that to last his lifetime?”
James felt tears flood his eyes. He kept his head low so Gunderson wouldn’t see him battle the crying. He shook his head slowly.
“Then go make things right with Carson. He’s a special boy. Not like my flea-bitten brother. You take care of him and never forget how ugly the scars look long after the deed is done.” Gunderson winked at James.
James felt the flutter in his chest. He was relieved Gunderson didn’t pound him into the floor boards. And he was grateful for the lesson. James understood what Gunderson meant.
“Thank you. I will. I’ll make it up to you. I swear.” James smiled and made his way to the door. He stopped short and returned to the counter. “I’ll be right back. I promise.”
“Get outta here before I change my mind.” Gunderson pointed James to the front door. “I am gonna dock your pay, though. Both of you.” Gunderson shouted across the shop.
James heard Gunderson but he didn’t care. He needed to apologize to Carson and make amends for striking him. James loved Carson and wanted to protect him. Forever. He realized that meant protecting Carson from himself as well. He couldn’t lay a hand on the small boy regardless how upset he got.
He just hoped Carson would accept his apology.
Chapter 25
Sarah returned to the church. She hadn’t put in as many hours today as she had yesterday. Her feet still throbbed from all the walking, attempting to attract new members to the congregation. Sarah’s heart wasn’t into it today. Her mind kept focusing on her intercourse with Preacher. The sensation of him inside her lingered.
She strode across the chapel to find the place empty. Preacher’s bedroom door was half-closed but she could see he wasn’t in there. Sarah opened the door to the ministry. She found the back door slightly ajar. As she neared the door, Sarah saw Carson slumped on a bucket, wearing nothing but his underwear. She stifled a giggle, figuring he had a little accident in his drawers.
“Did you have problems finding your britches today?” Sarah grinned at Carson. He started at her intrusion. Then he provided a forced smile and returned to his gloomy stare.
Sarah sensed Carson’s distress even before he made it abundantly clear through his attitude. She crouched down next to him, imitating his posture. She leaned her head in her hands and stared at the soil. She waited several minutes for Carson to fill her in. When she realized he wasn’t going to speak, Sarah took it upon herself to pry in a way that only mothers can.
“I suppose you are still upset from last night. James is having a hard time adjusting to our new...surroundings.” She looked around, sizing up the back of the church and the yard. “I suppose we all are.”
Carson continued to stare into the ground.
Sarah licked her lips and brushed a curl behind her ear. “You know James would do anything for you. He loves you. I think he loves you more than he loves his own mother.” As she said the words, Sarah realized it was probably the truth. She thought how strange it was for the mind to air its innermost truths when we least expected it. She didn’t spend time worrying about the thought. She knew James loved her, too.
“Then why did he hitted me?” Carson shot Sarah a look full of pain.
Sarah was surprised by Carson’s news. She couldn’t believe James would ever lift a finger against Carson. Yet, she had no inclination of Carson telling lies. It was one of the quirkiest facets of his condition. Carson couldn’t lie or keep a secret to save his hide.
“Want to tell me what happened today?”
Carson shifted his gaze from the ground to Sarah’s face. She read the hurt in his eyes and it tore a fabric from her heart. Seeing Carson so hurt was like watching a forgotten puppy.
“James punched my belly.” Carson rubbed his tummy and lifted his undershirt. Sarah didn’t see any bruises or scratches.
“And why would he do such a thing, Carson? James doesn’t go around hitting people for no reason.”
Carson looked like he struggled to answer her question. He huffed and let out a sigh. “I kicked him.”
Sarah brought her hand to her mouth. She thought the way Carson explained the incident made him appear so tiny and cute. She wanted to scoop him into her arms and snuggle him. Then she composed herself so she could devote her attention to Carson rather than her motherly feelings.
“What made you kick him, Carson?” Sarah brushed Carson’s hair away from his eyes.
“I was madder because of how he treated Preacher.” Carson returned to sulking in his hands.
“I know you like Preacher. We all do, honey. James likes Preacher, too.” She thought about that statement for a moment. “He just has a funny way of showing it. I guess. But you shouldn’t have kicked James. Even if you were ‘madder’ at him.” Sarah smiled as she rubbed Carson’s back.
He turned his face to hers. She noticed some relief in his face. But the hurt was still there. James had done something to leave a heckuva impression on Carson. Only time would heal that wound. Sarah wondered why James had taken it to the extent he had. She was surprised James had hit Carson, even if he had been struck first.
“Did you have a little accident in your pants?”
Carson shot Sarah a shocked look. He shook his head emphatically.
“Then where are your clothes?”
Carson pointed at the laundry line. Sarah choked back another laugh when she saw Carson’s small clothes flapping in the breeze. He had hung them in a way where they were folded in on each other, so they would take longer to dry.
“Let’s fix those clothes so they dry quicker, shall we? And while we do that, you can tell me how they got up there.”
Sarah made her way to the clothes line with Carson holding her hand. He explained how he fell down on his way to the church. He got himself all dirty and then he laid down on his bed and dirtied the pillow. So he tried to wash everything before she got mad at him. She smiled at how precious he was.
“You washed them? All by yourself?”
Carson nodded with enthusiasm. Sarah could see he was proud of his ability to care for himself. She knew he wanted to be more independent like James. But it was a cross he would have to bear, since he was challenged mentally.
Sarah lifted the first article of clothing. It was full of suds and the streaks of dirt remained. She but her cheek against laughing out loud. She needed to re-wash the garments but she didn’t want to take anything away from Carson’s pride and achievement. So she dropped the clothes in the dirt when she pretended to re-hang them.
“Oh, shucks. I just got them all dirty again. I’m sorry I messed up the wonderful job you did cleaning your clothes.” Carson put his hands on his hips in frustration. “I’ll fix them right away. It was an accident.”
Sarah clutched the damp clothing under her arm and made her way to the soap bucket. It was nearly empty and she could see the splash marks and spills in the dirt all around the spot where the bucket sat. She told Carson she was going to fill the bucket with fresh water and soap. She asked him to wait while she got it ready for another round of cleaning.
Carson muttered, “Back to square one.”
Chapter 26
James trotted across the street. He reached the church door and pushed the latch in. The door opened and Preacher stood at the altar. He smiled at James. James felt his stomach muscles tighten. He closed the door and approached the altar.
“Did Carson come back here?” James didn’t know how to dance around it so he just asked the question.
Preacher nodded. His smile didn’t waiver. Neither did his gaze. James sensed something extra behind the eyes of Preacher.
“Is he in the ministry?” James made his way around the altar to find Carson. But Preacher stepped in front of James, blocking his path.
“I need to get past.” James felt his temper rising. He fought it back and kept his tone calm. But it was exactly opposite how he felt inside. He tried to go around Preacher. James couldn’t move because a strong hand held firm against his chest.
“I don’t think it’s wise for you to...interject at this moment.” James stared at Preacher’s eyes. They appeared dark, almost black. The smile still etched upon Preacher’s mouth as he blocked the way.
“I’m asking you to remove your hand. Just this one time. Next time, I won’t ask.” James glared into Preacher’s face. Preacher removed his hand from James’ chest but he didn’t step aside.
“When was the last time you confessed your sins, James?” Preacher circled James. He felt the man’s body close to his own, invading his personal space as he walked around James.
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It has a lot to do, James. I think you have...things...weighing down your mind. It’s probably a good time to unburden yourself before the Lord.” Preacher stopped in front of James. The man’s red hair appeared to be aflame. James blinked his eyes several times in disbelief at what he thought he had seen.
“I’ve never confessed.” James wondered where the words came from. The voice that uttered the words sounded foreign to him.
“You’ve sinned against Carson. Now you must atone for the transgression. And I can counsel you, James.”
“I’m not the one who needs to be counseled, Preacher.” James stepped closer to the man.
Preacher smiled and exhaled.
“Whose blood is it in there?”
Preacher appeared visibly shaken. The smile evaporated immediately and was replaced with an angry countenance.
“I don’t...”
“You do know...what I’m talking about.” James cut off Preacher and finished his sentence. “I found the blood. And the strange writing.”
“You shouldn’t have gone through my things, James.”
James jabbed his finger in Preacher’s chest. “What are you, Preacher?”
Preacher shoved James’ hand away. He stepped back and then returned behind the altar. He supported himself with his hands. His head hung low as he gazed at the Bible on the altar.
“It’s not what you think, James.”
“How do you know what I think?” James approached the opposite side of the altar.
Preacher raised his eyes to James. His face contorted, struggling with conflicting emotions. “This church, these things inside this structure are holy. They belong to the Lord. And you have no right to touch that which does not belong to you. All of it...belongs to Him.” Preacher pointed to the ceiling above. His hand shook as if it was difficult to lift his arm above his shoulder.
James knew Preacher was right. He had overstepped his bounds. Snooping through another man’s things was an offense worthy of retribution. Men were killed for far less in the wild frontier. But James had done it because of a suspicion. He had to figure out what was strange about Preacher. And why the town felt the same way.
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have touched your stuff.” James ran a hand through his hair. “I couldn’t help myself after I overheard Marshal Holder and Gunderson. Things have been strange since we got here.”
“It’s been strange lately for me too.” Preacher alluded to the extra mouths to feed.
“Still doesn’t explain the blood. Or the strange writing. What does it mean?” James leaned over the altar.
“In good time, James. All will be revealed when the time is right.” Preacher rounded the altar and neared James.
Again, James picked up the blackness behind Preacher’s eyes. He hoped it was a trick of the low lighting in the chapel. But something told him it was more than that. A prickly heat traveled down his spine. James shuddered.
“I can’t think of a better time than right now.”
“Have you come to make amends?” The new voice startled both James and Preacher. Sarah stood at the corner of the hallway to the ministry. Her hands were on her hips and a disapproving expression painted her face.
James nodded at his mother. Then he glanced at Preacher. “This isn’t the end of our conversation.”
Preacher chuckled. “No. It isn’t. I’m looking forward to finishing it.”
James stopped in his tracks and shot Preacher a look. What did he mean by ‘finishing’ it? Was he planning something for James? He didn’t like the tone either. Preacher was a man with an edge. And James sensed there was more to the strange holy man than met the eye. He wanted to get to the bottom of this right away. But this wasn’t the time, with his mother glowering at him. James knew he only stood to lose by fighting this battle in this moment.
James followed his mother down the hall. He thought he heard Preacher laugh behind him. The sound was soft so it might have been his imagination. His mother opened the door to the ministry and James found Carson lying on his cot. His arms were folded behind his head and he stared at the ceiling. Carson looked peaceful and James worried he would disturb his little friend.
But he had to make things right. And his mother wouldn’t let him delay the apology as she hovered behind him.
“Hey, buddy.” James sat on the cot next to Carson’s. He placed his hat on the bed next to him and reached a hand over to touch Carson’s arm. “I’m sorry...”
Before James could finish his apology, Carson had jumped onto his lap. He squeezed James in a loving embrace. The gesture brought tears to James’ eyes. He realized he didn’t care what else happened in this world as long as he had Carson. James felt Carson trembling with tears in his arms. He glanced up at his mother. She was crying, too, as she watched the boys reunite.
Chapter 27
“Dang it!” James slammed his cards down on the cot. Carson giggled into his fist. Sarah shot James a dirty look. He knew she didn’t like cuss words.
“Sorry.”
His mother pursed her lips and continued tidying up.
“You shoulda paid attention.” Carson loved to rub it in. James felt his temper rise but then let it go. He was glad Carson was back to normal again. Even though it ate him up inside to lose another hand of poker.
James rustled Carson’s hair. “I paid attention. One of these days, I’m going to beat the pants off you.”
Carson chuckled and scooped up the cards to shuffle. James looked around the ministry. With all the fighting between him and Carson, James had forgotten all about Eleanor. He realized he hadn’t see her since last night’s supper.
“Where’s Eleanor?”
Sarah folded some garments as she answered him. “She must be working hard on those school lessons. I haven’t seen her all day.”
James looked at Carson. He almost asked Carson if he had seen Eleanor before realizing Carson worked with him at the Trading Post. James scratched his head, trying to figure out where she could have been all this time. He felt like he was losing his mind. Ever since they got to Dodge it had been like a cloud hovered over his mind. His thoughts were different. He was often irritated. And he lost track of time. Images of Preacher’s maniacal grin flashed before his eyes.
“I’m gonna go look for her.”
“It’s almost supper time, James. I’m sure she’ll show up soon. That woman would never pass up an opportunity to feed.” His mother’s snide remark made James smile. He understood the barb against Eleanor. She could put away a lot of food, unlike most ladies he had known. Yet, she still had a great figure. James liked the idea of a woman who could eat and wasn’t afraid of what others might think about her portion sizes.
“Although, I could use some help preparing supper. Without Eleanor here, I won’t have an extra set of hands. Not like I can count on Preacher now that you chased him off to his room.” The condemnation came across with thick sarcasm. James chose to ignore his mother’s attitude. He knew she would be upset with him until she decided to give it up. There was no talking his mother down from her anger. James smirked to himself, thinking
that’s where he got his temper from. He had always assumed it had come from his famous father. Maybe he had been wrong.
“Just the same, I’m going to go look for her. Carson, wanna go on an adventure with me to find Eleanor?”
Carson rubbed the edges of the deck of cards. He slowly lifted his head to James. He scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Uh-uh.”
“No? I figured you’d be excited to go on an adventure. Isn’t that what you always wanted?” James leaned over on his knees to plead his case.
“Are we going to beated up bad guys?”
James stood up. “Not this time. But...”
“Nah.” Carson shuffled over to Sarah before James could finish his thought. James huffed.
“Suit yourself.”
Sarah rubbed Carson’s hair as he burrowed into her skirt. “Carson will be my extra hands tonight. Who knows, we might turn him into our caretaker soon enough. He washed clothes today and now he’s going to help with supper.”
Carson jumped up and down and clapped his hands. James enjoyed watching Carson’s enthusiasm bubble over. His little friend loved to be involved in things and seemed delighted to help folks with work. Years of being brushed aside must have built up quite a thirst for getting into things.
James patted Carson’s arm as he brushed past his mother to leave. He walked through the hallway. As he passed Preacher’s bedroom, James paused and strained his ears. Nothing but silence came from the closed door. James raised his eyebrows and wondered what the man was up to in there.
He walked through the chapel and left the church. The reddish sun dipped partially behind the building on the western side of town. Evening was upon them and Eleanor was not home yet. He wasn’t worried as much as he was curious. The thought that ran through his mind most was whether she had found another man. James wasn’t one for jealousy but he had a feeling she was in the market for another love interest. Things between them had been distant and cooled off considerably. He knew she had traveled all this way to be with him. She wanted to get married and settle down with a family of her own. But James hadn’t given her any of that. Or any reason to believe it was forthcoming.
