Double blinking, I just stare at Azrael, poor Cyrus is choking on air, and my other three mates are giving each other high fives.
“I don’t even want to know what you five are doing.” Throwing my hands up in the air, I storm from Cyrus’s room and walk over to mine.
Once inside my room, I circle and pace around the concave nest of blankets. For some reason, the way the blankets are sitting is aggravating me. Carefully, I climb into my nest and throw all the blankets out and onto the floor. My frustration builds until I’m screaming because no matter how I set them, they're not right yet.
Eventually, I hear someone clear their throat, and I pop my head up out of my pile of blankets. Pretty much every available male in the house is standing there staring at me. “What do you guys want? Somebody freaking fix this damn thing; it's not sitting right.” I’m practically shrieking like a harpy.
“Thana, I just had a talk with all of your mates,” Azrael says, holding his hands up in a placating manner.
“You’re going through what’s called the nesting ... It’s what happens just before a female nephilim can carry children.” Azrael moves cautiously, looking over my nest and then back to my mates. “She's going to need something from each of you that smells just like you. It's probably the main reason why she keeps destroying her nest because it only smells like her.”
I raise an eyebrow at Azrael, then back down to my blankets, then back to my mates, looking each of them over ... I’ll be damned Azrael is right; not having their scent here is what I’m looking for. There's no scent marking from my mates in my nest, and it’s making me anxious.
“Okay everybody in the nest, let's go.” I climb out and gently shove my mates over to my nest, encouraging them to climb in and roll around in my blankets. One by one, the guys reluctantly climb in, each taking a different part of the nest to wrap themselves up in the blankets there.
I turn on Azrael. “So, the short version is when I’m fertile, I’ll get a very strong nesting instinct?” I ask him, being as straightforward and blunt as I possibly can. Azrael smirks and then smiles broadly, nodding his head slowly. “You are one hundred percent correct, Thana. Now that you’ve found your mates, your body will be driven to reproduce every so many years.” He rests his hand on the edge of my nest, patting it.
“Until one of these geniuses get you pregnant, the urge to breed will not relent. Just keep in mind that because you’re nephilim, only the men you’ve bonded to will be able to have a child.” His eyes darken, and his sadness creeps across them as he looks over at his son. “I hope he gets his head out of his stubborn ass and does right by you.” Azrael leans in and kisses my cheek before disappearing in a wisp of smoke.
Azrael has given me a lot to think about, especially when it comes to his son. All this time, I’ve been afraid of bonding with him mainly because of my fear of myself. Having gotten to know my grandfather a little bit, I understand that my duality isn’t as bad as I first thought. “I’m gonna go grab some orange juice, guys. I’ll be back in a few minutes, don’t move.”
They all mumble their assent and settle back into their positions.
Joscelyn almost ruptures my eardrum when I tell her what is going on with the guys and me. She makes arrangements to get to our house as fast as possible, which means her mate has to fly her here. I decide to stay in my room, adjusting the nest for the one-millionth time—eventually, the soft knock echoes in my room. Soon after, Christian opens the door and leads Joscelyn into my area. Her eyes go wide as she takes in the interior. Her mate Jacob is right on her heels and looks around my nest.
Something about this strange male being in my area is setting my nerves on edge. My other three mates rush into my room to see if I’m okay. Poor Cyrus has no idea why Raphael and Gage went running; he just knew he needed to follow them. Christian turns Jacob around and herds him out of my room. Once he’s left my space, I can breathe easier, and I calm down almost immediately.
Cyrus runs up to me and checks me over from head to toe. Joscelyn and I stare at him in amazement as he runs his hands all over my body, making sure there are no hidden injuries. “Sorry love, not being able to sense you; I just had to see for myself,” Cyrus almost stutters, falling over his own words. He brings his right hand up and rests it on the back of his neck, rubbing it slightly.
I can’t help but smile at him and then lean forward and kiss him on both cheeks. “Thank you for worrying about me.” I nuzzle his cheek and snuggle in close to him. Cyrus wraps his big strong arms around me and encloses me in his obsidian wings. This has become a thing between him and me; when I seek security from him, he hides me in his wings. I don’t know what it is, but this simple movement soothes me faster.
Eventually, Cyrus and I break apart, and he kisses me softly on my lips, leaving without a word. I must have had one of those faces on just showing how much I truly adore him.
“Is that the Cyrus, you know, the one that used to make our lives a living hell at work?” Joscelyn says, her voice pitching higher as she finishes the sentence.
“Yes, that is my terror,” I say with a smile and giggle as we walk over to the sitting area in the corner of my nesting room.
“Never in a million years would I think that I would have been mate material.” I unfurl my wings and spread them wide, allowing Joscelyn to finally see their color. I look around me, beaming with pride at how beautiful my tricolor wings are. Joscelyn looks just as astonished as I did when I saw them for the first time.
Hesitantly, she approaches me to get a closer look at my feathers. “What does this mean, Thana? Your wing colors have changed, and you somehow managed to bag four mates.”
I fold my wings up and walk with them half opened over towards the balcony. As I open the door and look out over the cliff, I feel at peace. “It’s easy, Joscelyn. I finally came to terms with who and what I am.” I breathe in slowly then let the breath out. “My lineage is no longer a mystery,” I state plainly as I turn to face her. “My father is Nyx, a dark nephilim and knight of the first order. My grandfather is Samael, The Almighty’s destroyer,” I say both names solemnly, finally appreciating them for the power and weight they carry.
“Someday, I am to be my grandfather's successor. When that day comes, I’ll be a lead the legions of light and dark without question.” Pride blooms in my chest as my three mates can feel that I am finally at peace.
“That’s insane if you really think about it, Thana. You go from being shunned and mistreated for over three hundred and fifty years. And now, all of a sudden, your lineage changes everything?” she says skeptically as she moves around my room with purpose. “I’m not being mean or saying anything sarcastic. I just don’t want you to get hurt because of everyone being jealous of who and what you are.” Concern and worry etches her brow.
I study Joscelyn closely because something seems slightly off with my friend. Her stomach should be bigger, nor does she show any of the coloration changes that usually happen when a female of our kind has delivered.
“Are you okay, Joscelyn?” I ask, closing the distance between us.
Gently, I rest my hand upon the small swell of her stomach. Almost immediately, tears break and roll down her cheeks in rivers. I push some of my healing properties through my hands and feel there is no life within her womb.
The crux of her problem is evident; she lost the little one that she had been carrying. Without hesitation, I wrap her up in my arms and hold her tightly to me. I feel like such a bad friend, not realizing that something had happened. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart if I had known …”
“I didn’t tell anyone, Thana, only my mates and I know, and now you.” She sniffles slightly then sighs.
“It's not uncommon for us to have problems carrying our babies. Being part human, we experience the same problems that human females do.” She breathes in deeply again as she looks up to me. Her fingers twirl my hair, as if needing something to ground her.
“There's several other females from the n
ight of your mate hunt besides you that still haven't conceived. The archangels suspect that they may have great difficulty.” She finishes twirling my hair that's in her hand before she releases it and turns away.
“Hopefully, you’re luckier than I was, and I’ll get to meet my niece or nephew when they get here.” She smiles, trying to be happy for me even though I have no clue how to get from point A to point B.
“Well, that’s kind of the reason why I asked you here.” I motioned to my nest in the room that we set up just for me.
“I have all these instincts: make my nest, make sure it smells like my mates, keep the number of visitors to a minimum. And it must be the room that the sun breaks into first thing in the morning.” I sigh, slightly frustrated and pace my room yet again.
“My mom abandoned me long before she was able to tell me about everything that we endure as females. I’m over three hundred and seventy years old only to just now find my mates with no clue beyond instincts that drive me to know what to do.”
A sad, knowing look falls over Jocelyn’s face as she pulls me back over to the bench by the balcony.
Joscelyn sits down so we're facing each other, and takes both of my hands in hers ... “It’s really not that difficult, Thana. Your urge to reproduce is going to go into overdrive by the next full moon. When that happens, you'll able to conceive a baby or two.” She looks down at my hands before looking back up into my eyes again.
“I know it’s none of my business, but I noticed that you’re still not bonded to Cyrus,” she says.
“He is still healing from being abducted, but it's very high on our list of things to do,” I say, cheeks heating. “I guess the biggest thing frightening me about him was my fear that he would make my dark side stronger.” I laugh almost hysterically to myself. “It took him getting abducted and meeting my grandfather to come to terms with what I am.” I stare down at our joined hands for a few minutes before I look up.
“I am life and death in one body. I can create or destroy.” I enunciate each word as I feel the truth of it through the very fibers of my body. “Whatever the higher powers had planned for me all those eons ago, I will go willingly and do what needs to be done,” I say with a confidence I didn’t have before and finally feeling whole. I spread my wings a little bit again, taking in their beautiful colors.
“I’m the best of both worlds, darkness and light, shadows and bright. For every Yin, there is a Yang to bring balance between the light in the dark.” I break into a broad proud smile as I look up into my friend's eyes. I finally feel at home, that I have a purpose and that I’m wanted.
It’s not even a few seconds after I finish my last sentence that Joscelyn launches herself at me. She wraps her arms tightly around my throat, hugging me to her and sharing in my happiness. We sit there crying happy tears wrapped in each other's arms, half laughing, half sobbing, making a literal mess out of each other. The guys end up blowing the doors wide open and come storming into my room to find us hugging and crying together.
“I will never understand this!” Jacob says as he flings his arm in mine and Joscelyn’s direction. His harsh tone takes me by surprise, and I just narrow my eyes, staring at him. Christian takes the subtle hint and removes Jacob from my nesting area again.
Raphael is the first to approach, and he kneels down in front of me, looking up at me with such adoring eyes. “My love, do you need anything? Are you well?” It’s a total swoon-worthy moment like from one of those hallmark movies where the prince is down on his knees confessing his love to the girl before him.
I bend forward slowly and reverently place a kiss on Raphael's soft lips. I linger there for several moments pushing all the love that I have for him through the bond directly to him. His eyes are molten gold when we break apart, the color swirling reflecting everything right back to me. His eyes look like polished gold orbs; the mirror finish shows me how I look to him. He turns and leaves with a single nod, gathering my other two mates with him and taking them out of the room.
“Oh, my goodness, Thana! Raphael looks at you like you're the beginning and end of all things for him. Like the sun rises and sets because you deem it so.” With so much wonder in her voice, she says it makes me question how well her mates are treating her if she doesn't get looked at like that by them.
“They are the beginning and end of all things for me as well. And when and if we’re ever blessed with little ones, they shall rank higher than any of us,” I say with certainty, knowing that myself and my mates would put the children's health and safety above our own health and safety without question. “They would be the future, and the sun would rise and set according to their needs.”
I watch a slight wince from my best friend as she suddenly stands up walks towards the door. “My mates want me to come home and rest.” Her false smile betrays exactly how she’s feeling. Something one of her mates said to her through their bond has shaken her. I would love to know if her bond was as safe as mine is. Unfortunately, just like humans, there's good and bad nephilim, no matter the color of their wings.
I walk Joscelyn to the door, and we gather up the mate that had accompanied her. We say our goodbyes and watch him fly off with her. “Something still isn't sitting right with me; I just can’t shake that feeling that all is not as it appears.”
Before I can turn around and disappear into my room, Cyrus grabs hold of my wrist, giving the other guys a look, and leads me into the library. “I know between Gage and I; we have known you the least amount of time, but I can definitely tell something is bothering you.” Cyrus gets right to the point, not holding back, and just lays everything out on the table for me to decide what to do with it. My heart pounds in my chest with how intensely he and Gage are watching me.
I sighed deeply and go to sit on the edge of the desk in the library. “I don’t think Joscelyn’s relationship is as good as she makes it out to be,” I state as my other two mates walk into the library with us.
“She's lost the baby she was carrying, and she isn't allowed to tell anybody. The icing on this disaster cake is it doesn't seem like she's allowed to grieve the loss of her baby.” I shake my head, feeling the anger starting to rise. I look up to my mates pinning each one in place with just a look.
“If you can find out about her three mates and what they’re actually like, I would feel much better. But to be perfectly honest, I don’t think they’re treating her well,” I say with a growl to my voice, finally allowing some of the darkness to surface.
Cyrus has a good grip on my left hand and Christian comes forward to grab ahold of my right. My other two mates come over to join us. “You two stay here and protect our mate. Gage and I are going to go do some investigating. The way that Jacob was acting, not having Joscelyn in his line of sight, makes me suspect that they may be abusing her. They didn't want her to be able to say anything to you,” says Raphael.
Raphael’s statement almost solidifies my gut instinct, telling me that they're treating my best friend like absolute shit. “What can we do if that's true? Can we save her?” I asked quickly, looking between my mates. Christian and Raphael hang their heads low, practically telling me there's nothing we can do. Whereas Cyrus looks angrier than I feel right now, and he and Gage keep looking between each other using sign language.
“No, you two, we can’t do that,” Raphael says, watching the conversation between Gage and Cyrus.
Raising a single eyebrow, I concentrate on their hands, trying to figure out exactly what they were just discussing. “The short version, love, is that we can challenge her mate to a duel to free her, but the downside is if we lose, they can try to take you as theirs.”
My eyebrows raise at the terms of what one of these duels would be. “Yeah, that’s not gonna work for me,” I state plainly sliding off the desk and walking around in circles. “Does it say anywhere that I can duel, or I can’t duel? Divine law has loopholes for loopholes, so I figured it wouldn’t be too shocking to be a loophole for this.”
&nbs
p; Raphael appears to be deep in thought as his eyes churn a molten gold. Several tense moments pass before he finally regains his normal hazel eye color. “From what Michael says, there is no rule saying that a friend cannot fight for another friend’s freedom. But with that being said, your time is right around the corner, so it would not be conducive for you to take that chance.”
Raphael looks to Christian and then back over to me again. Michael and Uriel will visit them like they do all new bonds to make sure everybody's okay. All Uriel has to do is lay his hands on Joscelyn, and all the truth will be revealed to him.” A sad smile crosses Raphael’s face.
“According to divine law, a mate is not to be abused, but treasured, and if they are abusing her, they will be put to death for breaking the most sacred traditions.” He looks down for a moment before raising his eyes to meet mine again. “Being her friend, you may be called to harvest their souls and send them straight to Hell.”
I nod solemnly, thinking about what that might entail for me.
“No, I’ll do it for Thana. I don’t want the blood of her friend’s mates on her hands,” Cyrus says with conviction as he moves to stand between Raphael and me. His black wings are spread wide as he tries to hide me behind them, protecting me.
“You know Cyrus, I don’t have the control over who gets chosen to reap the souls—that will be between Michael and your father,” Raphael says; his tone tells me that he's pretty sure he already knows that it'll be my duty to do it.
I move to stand between Raphael and Cyrus; unfurling my wings, I spread them wide, separating my mates. I choose to face Cyrus and smile softly, looking deeply into his chocolate eyes. “Thank you for trying to protect my heart from what I may be tasked to do.”
Reaching out, I half expect him to jerk away from me as I try to caress his cheek. Happiness blooms in my chest as my hand makes contact with his skin. “If it’s allowed, we can reap their souls together, so I'm not alone.”
Discovered: The Dark Angel Chronicles Page 12
