I pushed aside the thoughts. Men had always let me down. Now was hardly the time to get caught up in love’s web again.
We exited through the door I had noticed earlier with Ezra leading the way. It led to a prayer room filled with benches and scripts about Circe. A long and narrow table at the front of the room was filled with candles and bowls of water. People could come here to pray or offer sacrifices to Circe. Sacrifices were rare and more common in Shadowland where they practiced the “old ways,” but even they only ever offered animals. At least this proved I had chosen the right path to attempt my escape. The prayer room was empty, and we passed through it without pausing.
Leaving the room, we entered into the library. Books filled the shelves, some older than others. Multiple baskets were scattered in the corners with scrolls containing illegible scribble.
I tapped Ezra’s shoulder, and he glanced back at me. “Can I take these heels off?”
He chuckled and nodded, continuing ahead without me. I took off my heels and placed them next to the closest bookshelf. The wooden floor was cold against my bare feet, but I preferred it to the painful heels. I quickly caught up to Ezra. The room was wide but not long, and the shelves kept a lot hidden. Glancing over Ezra’s shoulders, I noticed Declan and Gemma standing between two shelves. We approached closer until we stood in a small circle.
“Clara, you should start with your explanation,” Ezra said, gesturing for me to begin. He gave no hints as to whether I should to tell the truth or not. Jhase already prepared for an emergency meeting in the morning. I wanted to be straight forward with everyone in this circle, even if it went against what they asked of me.
“I was brought here on the belief that I would be a witness for a trial. Instead I wear a mask of a woman I have never met. Care to explain how Claire’s disappearance leads to my imprisonment?”
Declan signed and turned to Ezra. “This morning, Gemma discovered Claire’s absence. She’s known for wandering, but we searched the entire castle. We searched everywhere she might have gone and again we found nothing. Jhase asked questions, said you expressed concern for her. We were in a state of panic. Do you know how it would look if I lost my future bride? Imagine the tension between Shadowland and Ninomay.”
“It could cause another war amongst the islands,” Ezra agreed quietly.
I glanced back from him to Declan in awe. I had not expected for anyone to come forward with the entire story. At his mentioning of Shadowland, I assumed he originally resided there. His engagement with Claire held even more significance than I had realized. Someone from Shadowland and Ninomay would finally rule over the lands together. This was more than a marriage—their union offered a partnership between the two largest islands. Though the last war ended years before my birth, no one had forgotten it. Mother spoke of it rarely, but our neighbors shared stories with me. Those had been dark years where magic ran wild and mages nearly lost their humanity.
Ezra nudged my elbow, and I focused once more on the present conversation. Declan avoided eye contact with me, though he occasionally gazed in my direction. Perhaps he thought I would not understand his past and how it lead to his present. My experience with Shadowland mages up until now was nonexistent. Nonetheless it made me even more curious about his magic.
Declan continued. “Gemma left for Rajoor with instructions to return with a witness for an upcoming trial. I stayed at the castle, searching for Claire without any luck. Clara Nasso was a nobody with no criminal history. We had never met her before, but Gemma and I saw Claire’s reflection in her. Did we do wrong by tricking her? Yes, but it was the only solution at the time.”
“Not everything is personal. I made a decision for Jhase’s sake and the island’s sanity,” Gemma added, sounding emotionless. Even now while Declan admitted their poor choices, she seemed nonchalant.
The explanation they offered Ezra proved better than anything they gave me. Their story in its entirety made sense, but lying seemed like a plague within the castle. Ezra challenged me to believe Jhase and Mother lied, and everyone in this room lied to the Council. They chose to threaten and lock me up like a prisoner instead of being honest. The more they spoke, the more I hoped to change Ezra’s mind. I wanted to leave tonight like my capturers had originally promised. No good could come from this plan with so many lives affected by it.
Clearing his throat, Ezra said, “Clara is staying for one more day. Afterward, she is leaving under my protection. We haven’t a choice but to tell the Council the truth. Whatever happened to Claire can’t be hidden. Her family has suffered enough.”
No one offered an explanation for Claire’s disappearance. It was late, and everyone’s eyes suffered from the bright lighting in the room. While several thoughts crossed my mind about Claire’s situation, I did not share them with the group. The three people with me seemed closest to Claire. Gemma and Declan had gone to extreme measures to hide her absence while Ezra yearned to help her. I remained convinced that someone in the castle was responsible for her life. Finding out seemed like a deadly mission.
“Come with me, Clara, I’ll lead you back to your room,” Ezra said, turning around to leave.
As I joined him Gemma remarked, “Tread lightly... both of you. Rumors spread like fire in a place like this.”
Neither of us responded, and Ezra quickened his pace. It did not bother me, since I wanted to leave in haste. We turned the corner, and I grabbed the pair of heels on the floor. Once in my hands I walked quietly behind Ezra. The rumors Gemma suggested might spread sooner than she feared. I had spent nearly the entire night with Ezra. I refused to walk away from the only person who genuinely wanted to help me. While some matters had been addressed, numerous questions remained unheard. By tomorrow night none of it would affect me, but I still yearned for answers.
“Are you certain it’s wise for me to stay until tomorrow? They promised me I could leave tonight…” I whispered as we reached the exit.
“I will never force you to do anything against your will. You are free to leave when you please, but by tomorrow we can find more answers. And the Council will need you for the trial,” Ezra replied. He remained calm unlike the anger he had shown earlier. If he could forgive Gemma and Declan, perhaps I could last another twenty-four hours in the castle. It might prove to be the toughest night yet. So far my companion did everything he promised. With my magic returned and freedom to come and go, any previous concerns seemed minor. By morning I would be myself again and standing in front of the Council, explaining the madness of events.
“Ezra…” I said as we walked past the benches in the prayer room. “Who are the other councilors?”
“There are eight in total. You already know half of them. I’ll explain later, but be patient. In the morning I’ll tell you everything.”
We entered into the ballroom, and candles lit up by themselves as we passed through. It was pitch black outside, and despite being tired I dreaded sleep. I would not sleep in my own bed tonight, and thoughts continued to cloud my mind. I grabbed a handful of my dress as we started on the staircase. Our footsteps echoed through the castle, but no one else appeared to be awake at this hour. A small portion of moonlight shone through the windows, and our shadows danced along the stairs.
“If I fall asleep tonight... I fear what I will wake up to in the morning,” I said in a low voice.
Ezra paused mid-step and glanced down at me. “I would offer to sleep on your bedroom floor, but it would be too risky. My room is next to yours. If you need anything, come find me.”
“Thank you,” I replied and continued ascending the stairs. With my magic returned and an ally at my side, I needed to sleep tonight. The morning would bring new challenges and hopefully reveal Claire’s past. Secrets lived in the portraits on the walls, and I planned to uncover them. One more day of surviving in another woman’s life…
Chapter Eight
Bite Your Tongue
The night seemed long and offered me no sleep. I listened to the sl
ow and steady wind outside. Claire’s cat lay at the bottom of the bed, acting as if nothing had changed. Perhaps I had the animal fooled too. I stared at the ceiling and tried to determine who might endanger Claire’s life. Despite being miles away from Rajoor, Isaak clouded my thoughts. Might a man like Isaak have harmed Claire too? I lay in a stranger’s bed, and the sound of the wind drove me mad.
Ezra... I wondered how well he slept tonight, being closer to me than anyone else. His ring replaced the pearl that had once been on my necklace. He could be as guilty as anyone else in the castle, but I carried his keepsake.
I sat up, being careful not to stir the cat, and slid off the bed. I would do anything to escape the lonely darkness, even if it meant allowing Ezra an advantage over me.
The moonlight from the window lit a clear path to the door. Ezra had ensured no one locked it tonight, but this would be the real test. Approaching the door, I grabbed the knob and opened the door with ease.
Only one candle at the end of the hallway remained lit. No one else appeared in the hallway, and I quickly closed the door behind me. Gemma warned us to be careful, but so long as no one saw me it did no harm. If Mother had managed to keep a secret for twenty years I could handle this one. I walked to the next door and quietly knocked. Nothing. I knocked again, but no one answered. Sighing, I slowly backed away while staring at the door in disbelief. How many times would I let a man disappoint me? Ezra was no different, and he had no reason to be staying awake on my behalf. This was his life I had intruded on, and he did not owe me anything.
I jumped at the sound of the door opening wide. I caught glimpse of a faint figure, but I walked inside nonetheless. His room like mine was entirely dark, and I did not wander far without knowing my bearings. He closed the door and stumbled around the room until he lit a single candle on the nightstand. After blowing out match, he stared at me with weary eyes.
“You didn’t have to answer,” I whispered. His room copied the same layout as mine, though colored in shades of blue. Instead of a vanity he had a dresser, and his shoes and weapons remained stacked against the wall. I noticed several different sized swords, and multiple journals stacked alongside them.
“I’m a man of my word, Clara. Now come. Sit.” He gestured toward the wooden floor. As I sat down, he snatched pillows from the bed and brought them with him. He placed one in front of me and placed his on the floor, sitting on it.
“This is unnecessary. Are you sure you—”
A line appeared between his brows, and he tapped his fingers against the floorboards. “Want to send you back to a sleepless night? No, I’d rather have your company. It’s the least I can do, considering all you did for Claire tonight.”
He seemed to forget my attempt to escape and multiple others he remained unaware of. Claire would have been the least of my concerns if not for Ezra. His knowledge of her family sparked my interest. I held my pillow in my lap, holding it close to my chest. I had barely changed since the party, though now I only wore the lighter white gown. My level of comfort would not help ease my mind tonight.
“You told me you could see through my illusion. Do you always see the real me?” I asked. Though it might seem like a foolish question to him, hopefully he was aware no illusionists lived in Rajoor.
“Once I see through an illusion it remains that way. I always see the real you. Only a faint glow surrounds your body to remind me an illusion exists.”
“You did the illusion for the party...” I said out loud, realizing too late I had spoken my thoughts. Gemma said their best illusionist made it, and I could not imagine anyone better than Ezra. He could see through illusions, and even I knew that to be a rare talent.
Chuckling, he replied, “Yes, you’re catching on now! I’m fortunate that Jhase appreciates my work.”
He continued talking about illusions and the hours he put into preparing the large one for the party. I leaned my head against the chest in front of his bed and listened in awe. He explained that a long lasting illusion like the one tonight required a lot of hand work and energy. After the project, he rehydrated and rested in order to return to his normal self. The way he described it sounded like an artist painting a beautiful canvas. Using his hands, he had drawn out where and how the illusion would play out for the entirety of the party.
While conversation about magic fascinated me, I had more important questions for Ezra. Instead of stopping him, though, I allowed him to continue, encouraging him now and again to tell me more. It would not matter what I knew about him tomorrow night should I choose to leave. In the meantime I gained new knowledge about the magic system within our world. His voice soothed me like a mother speaking to her baby. The memories of Isaak returned to a dark corner of my mind, and my entire focus stayed with Ezra. Was this what Claire’s life was like?
***
I awoke to the sound of a “meow” and rolled over in bed. I had returned to Claire’s bedroom, though I had no collection of this. Ezra must have carried me back to my room before the night’s end. It was no longer dark outside, and instead a new sunrise greeted the day.
I thought back to the events of last night. Being unable to recall when I fell asleep, I only recollected Ezra’s detailed explanation about his magic.
Though returning to sleep sounded comforting, I prepared for the day ahead of me. No matter what truths I discovered today, Ninomay was not my home. People only knew me for who they wanted me to be. Once people discovered my true identity, their loyalty and kindness would change.
I chose simple colors, a white dress and gray cloak with fewer designs than the others. Ezra offered no clues as to what we would do today, but I assumed it included exploring places we did not belong. While I changed I watched my reflection in the mirror, the brown hair no longer surprising me, though I still smarted at how it had been forced upon me. The pictures of Claire mocked me as if to remind me her shoes were too big to fill.
As I adjusted the cloak, someone knocked at the door. I quickly tied my hair to the side, allowing it to flow over my shoulder. I opened the door, but Ezra did not greet me. Instead it was a young woman I did not recognize. Her clenched jaw gained my attention, and she rushed into the room without asking permission.
I closed the door at once and faced her. My heartbeat rose, and I debated on who she might be. Ezra mentioned I had yet to meet the other half of the councilors. Judging from her revealing dress and short, choppy orange hair I assumed otherwise.
“I know you asked me to stay away, but... This was delivered to me. It’s for y-you.” With shaking hands she withdrew a letter and held it out. I accepted it and stared at the envelope. The name “Claire” was written in cursive.
I looked up at her, raising my brow. While I was still in the dark as to this woman’s identity, I doubted someone could mistake her for Claire. She was a larger woman both in weight and height. Her milk chocolate eyes gazed at me. She looked as though she had known me for years, which was meaningless being in my position. Her attire was unlike anyone’s I had seen in the castle thus far. Though she might not be a councilor, I doubted she was a nobody. This was yet another person in Claire’s life that someone neglected to mention. Perhaps Claire kept her personal life private and none of her friends knew whom she connected with.
“Did you read this?” I asked, holding the letter carefully like a key piece of evidence. The woman shook her head.
Since my company indicated no signs of leaving I bid her farewell, wanting to read the letter in private. I ripped it open and withdrew the paper inside. Opening it, I read silently. The cursive words were sloppy and oddly angled, as though someone had rushed to write it.
Claire,
Foul seductress! You are not Circe’s creation; upon your death you will be consumed by the darkness. Your beauty will not save you from this fate. The path to the Void is a long and painful one. May you rot eternally consumed with agony and loneliness. I hope this letter finds you well... Or perhaps it is too late. The Void claimed your soul years ag
o.
I gritted my teeth but quickly folded the letter back into the envelope. If possible, I wanted to avoid sharing this information with anyone beside Ezra. In the letter the writer mentioned the Void, a place where sinful mages went after death. Those who lived without sin lived their afterlife in the Meta, where they were reunited with Circe. For someone to claim Claire already belonged to the Void was more than an insult. I could not be certain this person was responsible for Claire’s disappearance. The vagueness of the letter suggested someone knew her secrets. This was the first physical proof I had that prove Claire did not disappear on her own terms.
“Is everything alright? It was not a letter from my parents?”
“No, of course not. Everything is well, though I must be on my way,” I said. She approached the door without hesitation, though upon leaving she glanced back. I cursed in my head, wishing it was possible to determine or ask her name. Hopefully she failed to see me as an imposter.
“Claire, is everything alright? You seem different,” she whispered.
“I am very well. Thank you for bringing this. I am lucky to have you,” I responded. A grin lit up her face, and she continued out the door and down the hallway. I sighed in relief and waited several minutes to ensure she left. This letter was everything we needed, but my hours remaining ran short. Someone had to continue the search without me after my departure, and Ezra seemed appropriate for the mission. Though I could not trust him entirely, this problem would not concern me once I left Ninomay.
At last checking that no one else lingered in the hallway, I walked to Ezra’s room. The fact he slept so close to Claire’s bedroom only caused me more alarm about what their relationship might be. I knocked on the door and waited. Voices in the hall echoed, but they remained distant from me.
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