I gave my rounds of fake smiles and faker goodbyes and then walked to my grandma ride.
Windows down, wind throwing my hair around, I drove home.
Just another piece of hell called my life.
* * *
Yeah, I said I wasn’t going to send you stuff. Deal with it. It’s not easy to sneak this stuff around. You know I have to lay low, right? Have to keep all the family secrets tucked away tight. It’s kind of crazy to have that sense of power, babe. So much I could do with it. So much I could mess up. But it’s not really worth it. I’d rather sit here and count the days until I get to see you again. I can give you the exact number but you’d probably laugh at me. I can’t stand how that normal girly shit does nothing for you. You just laugh and that makes you even prettier. Which is impossible if you ask me. I haven’t even told anyone about you because they wouldn’t believe me. That’s fine too. I don’t give a damn about anyone’s opinion or thoughts. I know we agreed on some things and I’m not taking back on it. At all. Just know that you’re racing through my mind. I can’t stop thinking about you either. Our first kiss. Our last kiss. Every sunset. Damn, babe, you make me all mushy. I wish I was there in person to say all of this to you.
I folded the letter and put it next to me on the bed.
I stuck my hand into the box and grabbed another one.
Caught some waves today. Without you it feels different. You really are my Surfer Girl. Took some friends up to a private beach I heard about. The waves were crazy, babe. Nobody else would go into the water but me. All I could picture was you. Pushing at me, calling me a pussy. Telling me to find my balls and get out there in the water. My friends all thought I was crazy. Not for going into the pissed off ocean but because I stood there, laughing. Staring at the ocean, laughing my ass off. Because all I heard was your voice. Your beautiful voice. Damn, babe, I miss you. I want to just sleep all these fucking days away and get to you again.
I swallowed hard and looked around my bedroom.
It was just me.
Me and me.
Me and memories.
And with each letter from Summer Boy my heart twisted more and more. This part of me that nobody truly understood. The way he perfectly found a way to write words and send them to me. No phone calls. No texts. No surprise visits. Just random letters when he felt like sending them.
Everything somehow leading to last summer.
That last kiss.
That last goodbye.
That feeling of his hand touching mine, giving me one last letter.
My eyes spotted it.
I touched it.
I didn’t need to read it to know what it said.
Surfer Girl.
The everything to my endless summers.
The one who pushed me, challenged me, pissed me off, stood up to me, fought with me. The one not afraid to slap me. Or throw sand in my face. The one who could find a wave when there was no wave. The one who had that look in her eyes that made me believe for a second that the universe was real and that the stars were actually watching us.
Damn, babe… there’s so much I could say. So much I should say. But those words would only put the string between us… this string attached from me to you. But what sense does it make if we’re not together all the time, right?
Summer…
It sounds good, right?
It makes sense for people like us.
I’m the bastard secret that everyone wants to forget.
You’re the hippie surfer chick with no plans for the future.
That collision between us… but only once a year? That shit is worse for the heart than me smoking. I know you know that too.
And the rules we set… how many hearts have been left shattered? Making sure we were both in the clear for the summer. But there are no more summers, babe. This is it. We haven’t talked about it. I’m not even sure if you realize it or not. Next summer, we’re both already long gone. Maybe you’ll stay there and chase waves for the rest of your life. And I hope you do. But me? I’ve got to find a life outside this secret.
I’ve got to find a life outside of you.
Outside of counting down the days.
You’re not going to carry the weight of my guilt. Or the guilt passed on through a fucked-up family.
And yeah, I should have said this in person. I’m driving away as you’re reading it.
I wanted you to have the words. To read and keep and read again. Someday it’ll make sense. Someday you’ll wake up and I’ll fade a little more. And someday you’ll find someone who will make me -Summer Boy- just that. The memory of a guy you used to hang with in the summer.
Surer Girl.
You are forever amazing. Always be amazing.
I hurried to put all the letters in the box and shut the lid.
What a stupid idea that was.
Go through those bullshit letters and read those bullshit words.
Which is why I didn’t want to be in my room alone. I didn’t want to be home either. My house was damn big but the echoes of the ghosts could travel anywhere they wanted to.
The silence in my room was terrible too.
And there wasn’t enough music to fix that. There wasn’t a song to fix it. This wasn’t some baby bullshit stuff.
This was real.
I grabbed my phone and knew I couldn’t text anyone. They didn’t quite understand it all. Which was fine. That was my fault for not telling them everything. And even if I did, it was only going to put a wedge between myself and Aira. There was already tension and it was going to keep getting worse.
Which was expected.
She was defending her guy.
And Wes didn’t do anything to Ryland.
But that wasn’t going to be good enough for Elijah.
And in some messed up way I was going to end up defending Elijah.
Unless…
I scrolled through my phone.
I bit my bottom lip.
My thumbs moved fast as I sent a text.
Hey bitch - what r u up 2? Bored. #yawn
I had a couple other names I could text if need be.
But Britt responded right away.
OMFG - we were just talking about u! Get over to Carly’s NOW!
I let out a long sigh.
And I smiled.
Hello distraction… and drinks…
* * *
There were two things I knew about Carly.
Her father did something with investing.
And her parents were never home.
So that made it easy for me to gravitate toward her. She and Britt got stuck with some stupid science project a long time ago and that’s how I met Carly. Now as far as Ashley and Lacy went… they were stuck up, pretty, and totally fake, but they had the ability to spread the word and throw a great party out of nothing.
It was only Britt and I who surfed though. And last year she left HCH for a little while to travel with her grandparents. When that happened, it sort of messed up our little group since Britt was kind of the glue. And then summer came… along with Summer Boy… and everything just got kind of crazy weird after that.
It wasn’t like we hated each other.
We just hung out sparingly.
I walked up Carly’s porch steps and the door opened for me.
Britt stumbled out of the house, laughing, dropping a cup that splashed all around me.
“Oh, shit,” she said, laughing harder.
She saw me and fell into me.
I wrapped my arms around her and she laughed so hard I started to laugh.
I had no idea why she was laughing.
Behind her Ashley and Carly came out of the house, shaking their heads.
“Do I want to know?” I asked.
“No,” Carly said.
“Making fun of Lacy,” Ashley said.
“Where is she?”
Ashely pointed up. Meaning upstairs.
“Oh,” I said. “Good for her.”
“Yeah, right,” Britt said. “She’s got gum in her hair!”
Britt snorted.
“Gum?” I asked.
“Long story,” Carly said. “But it wasn’t gum. Something that rhymes with gum.”
My eyes opened wide. “Wow.”
“You had to be there,” Ashley said.
Britt wiped the corners of her eyes. “I’m so happy you’re here, Nova. Let’s get you a drink. And a bedroom.”
She winked at me.
“A bedroom?” I asked.
“Conor is here,” Britt said. “And he’s tall, ripped, and looking fucking delicious.”
I looked at Carly.
She shrugged. “Whatever.”
Conor was Carly’s cousin. He had always been a skinny little runt dude that was fucking annoying as hell. A total dork in the sense that he made normal dorks look cool. He was definitely a late bloomer though. He went from small and scrawny to tall, lean, and handsome overnight.
He told Carly he had a crush on me but before anything could happen, summer came.
Blah, blah, blah.
I entered the house, got a drink, and found myself staying near the drinks.
One wasn’t going to cut it.
Or two.
Or three…
“I miss you so much,” Britt said to me for about the tenth time.
She put her head on my shoulder.
“Miss you too,” I said. “You need to come surf with me.”
“I’m still getting there,” she said. “I really fucked up my knee.”
“I know you did,” I said.
Britt got hurt on her world travels and needed surgery on her knee.
That sort of killed our surfing friendship.
“Where are your parents at?” I asked Carly.
“I don’t know,” she said. “China? Australia?”
“Nebraska?” Britt asked and she laughed again.
“Maybe,” Carly said. “Who cares? Place is mine.”
“I think I’m going to go check on Lacy,” Ashley said. “I don’t like that guy she’s with.”
“You just want to get some of your own,” Carly said. “Figure out which BFF does it best.”
Ashley winked and strutted away.
“That I don’t miss,” I whispered to Britt.
She snorted and elbowed me.
I reached for another drink.
“You’re staying here, right?” Carly asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “Are you going to be a party fuck and cut me off?”
“Nope,” Carly said. “Just don’t drive from here.”
“Who needs a ride?” Conor asked as he stepped up to the counter.
My eyes looked up.
Not bad.
Of course I thought about Elijah. I pictured Elijah. I compared him to Elijah.
“Nova needs a ride,” Britt shouted. “And not one home…”
“Damn,” Carly said.
“Hey, I think Ashley needs us,” Britt said.
“Yeah,” Carly said. “She needs us. Far from here.”
Britt kissed my cheek. “Good luck.”
They slipped away.
I sipped my drink.
Conor kept his hands flat on the counter, staring at me.
“You know, you’re still a little dork in my mind,” I said to him.
“Yeah? And you’re still a fucking smoking hot surfer chick in my mind,” he said.
“Aren’t you going to have a drink?” I asked.
“No. I don’t drink.”
I laughed. “Pussy.”
I walked from the counter.
My legs were wobbly.
Which was good.
I made it out of the kitchen into the laundry room which was decorated with seashells and smelled like linen fabric softener.
I felt a hand grab my hand and I was suddenly spun around.
Conor towered over me. “I’m not a little dork anymore, Nova.”
“Too bad… because I’m still a fucking smoking hot surfer chick.”
“I’m okay with that,” he said.
“Yeah? Then do something about it.”
Conor lowered his mouth down to mine.
I kissed him back.
He tried to pull away but I wasn’t done with him yet.
He was going to be my ticket to get rid of Summer Boy for good.
Chapter 4
Elijah
One in the morning was when the good kind of trouble seemed to start. At least that’s what I was used to. Or it was the perfect hour to get my hands on Nova. Sneak her out of her sweet slumber and perfect little rich girl fantasy and show her that seeing stars could have more than one meaning in life.
But tonight I was all alone.
Lonely Elijah, strolling the beach, smoking cigs like they were never going to be made again.
A note in my hand.
A note in my hand that nobody else knew about.
Except me.
And the one who sent it.
I stopped walking and faced the ocean. My cigarette between my teeth, lip curled, like I was pissed at the waves.
Hell, maybe I was.
It seemed to me the only way to get through shit in life was to be pissed. Find a target, shoot, and walk away. If someone got hurt that wasn’t meant to be hurt, then oh fucking well. That was how life went.
I looked down at the note.
It was too damn dark to actually read it, but the words were etched into my mind.
Words that had already changed everything.
Words that were going to keep changing everything.
Fuck.
Words that brought me right back to Hidden.
I finished my cigarette and opted to skip the next urge for another one.
I thought about throwing the note into the ocean.
If I did that, the ocean would probably spit the words right back at me.
Telling me I deserved what was waiting.
Which I already knew.
It shouldn’t have been a surprise.
I worked my way back to home sweet home and wandered through the mansion Ryland called home. I wasn’t afraid of ghosts or anything like that. I didn’t believe in that afterlife shit. But there was something about knowing that not too long ago, Ryland was probably walking these same halls at the same hour. Enjoying life. Or whatever he would do. I knew the war he had with Wes was pretty wild. I had seen some of it firsthand. The rest I heard from Ryland. His side only, of course. I also knew how far Wes’s reputation went too. And when you threw his girl into the mix… it was nasty. Wes was the kind of guy who would kill for love.
But Ryland?
I ended up in bed, hands behind my head, thinking about my next move.
I dozed off, trading thoughts of Wes for thoughts of my Surfer Girl.
Chasing waves.
Wet hair clinging to her pretty face.
Her big ass smile.
Her bright blue eyes.
The only problem with those kinds of dreams was the waking up part.
Because reality had a way of crushing you.
“You shouldn’t sleep with your shoes on,” Annie said to me as my crusted eyes opened.
She had coffee.
She seemed more comfortable near me since I was over the covers and fully clothed.
“Morning, sunshine,” I said. “Thanks for the coffee.”
“You smell like cigarette smoke,” she said.
“Damn. I better shower.”
“Want me to start the water?” she asked.
“Only if you’re going to join me,” I said.
Annie gasped. She put the coffee down and pointed at me. “I’m old enough to be your mother. You should show respect.”
“I am,” I said. “What’s wrong with a little cougar action?”
“Cougar?” she asked, tilting her head.
I laughed. “Nothing, Annie. I can take a shower on my own. I’m a big boy. Tell my father and his wife that I’m aliv
e. I didn’t get myself hurt or killed. Or arrested. And that I’m still here. I’m going to drink this coffee, eat something, and go to class. So I can study hard and make them proud.”
Annie blessed herself and pursed her lips.
She finally left the goddamn room.
She made a hell of a cup of coffee.
I chugged it, grabbed a shower, ate some kind of weird egg dish that Annie had made and left out for me, then I was out the door without seeing my father or Rosemary.
That was a win in my books.
I cruised up to Tech and sat on the hood of my car and smoked, watching everyone head into the building.
I was slowly figuring the place out.
Working on who to talk to about Ryland and get the answers I needed.
One thing I knew was that Ryker and Walker were Wes’s cousins. They were fucking dipshit idiots, but that could be useful in my case. Stupid minds spill good words, you know?
I spotted them walking side by side.
I tossed my cigarette away and trailed them into Tech.
I wasn’t trying to hide or anything.
So I stayed on their ass pretty close.
They knew I was there.
I was hoping for a fight but they decided to surprise me by being a little smarter than I remembered.
“Nova and Conor,” Walker said. “Didn’t see that one coming.”
I curled my lip.
What the fuck did you just say?
Ryker looked back at me and smiled. “Oh. Yeah. He’s had the hots for her for a long time. He finally bulked up and made his move. Heard he closed in on her at Carly’s party. She was drunk and took it… easy…”
Ryker winked at me.
I balled up my fists.
Walker put his hand to Ryker’s back and shoved him forward. “Hell yeah, man. Good for Conor. He’s a nice guy. At least she can be happy now. She deserves it.”
They walked into a classroom and were greeted by some fat, mustache douchebag teacher who looked at me, nodded, and shut the door.
I slammed my back against the lockers and looked up.
I smiled.
My Surfer Girl wanted to play games.
I could play games.
Losing was never an option though for me.
I liked to play really fucking dirty.
HIDDEN CREEK AGAIN: a hidden creek high novel Page 4
