He looked more evil by the second.
“Don’t be out all night,” he said.
“Like you give a shit,” I said.
“You’re right. I don’t.”
He slammed the door.
My stomach did a flip and I wanted to scream.
My chin quivered again.
I sucked it all in.
It was the only choice I had.
I needed to leave home.
And get to Conor.
Get to that party.
Because at parties… there were drinks.
* * *
I stuck out really bad at the party. A bunch of dorks hanging out, as I figured. But they all looked at me like I didn’t belong there. Which I didn’t. But Conor was next to me. And after a couple drinks, I went for the bottle that someone brought.
Damn, she could drink.
I wasn’t sure who muttered the comment, but of all things, that was the one thing that hit me hardest.
I felt two inches tall.
I felt stupid near these smart people.
And calling them dorks and geeks was wrong.
And I was a bitch for it.
The drunker I got the more broken everything started to feel for real.
Conor set his attention to someone else so I snuck away down to the water.
Somewhere along this beach my night had started. With the pity invite from Aira. Because she was drunk. And now here I was at another party. Another pity invite.
I drank and tried to forget the look in my mother’s eyes. Or the way her face looked.
Everyone behind me knew nothing about it.
Actually… everyone in HCH knew nothing about it.
The town that thrived on secrets had one more to swallow up and live off of.
And that was the cool hippie chick surfer girl without a care in the world was living through a version of hell that nobody should ever have to go through. Ever. Not once. Not ever.
I lifted the bottle again and a hand touched my arm.
“What are you doing?” Conor asked.
“What?” I asked, looking at him.
His face was a mess too.
Everything was violence.
Secrets. Violence.
My stomach felt sick.
“You wanted to talk,” Conor said.
“I just wanted to get out of there,” I admitted.
“Where?”
“Nowhere,” I said.
“What? What the hell is your problem, Nova? You were just fucking using me, weren’t you?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Basically.”
“And you sent him to kick my ass.”
“I didn’t do that, Conor. I had no idea.”
“You know what he said?”
“What?”
“I should have known where you were. Where you were going. I should have been there no matter what. And you know what? He was right. I mean maybe he was right. You went to that party for one reason. And you could have gotten yourself into some serious trouble. And I’m supposed to worry about that?”
“Conor…”
“No. Listen to me. My answer is simple. No. It’s not my problem. I’m not watching after you. I’m not taking care of you.”
“Feel better now?” I asked.
“No,” he said. “Look at my fucking face.”
“Get your hand off me. Now.”
Conor moved his hand.
I brought the bottle to my lips.
And I drank.
And drank.
And… kept… going…
When I stopped, I smacked my lips together and tossed the bottle to him.
“You have no fucking idea,” I said.
“Oh, I have a good enough idea,” he said. “You wanted to talk. Well, we just did. I hope you get everything you want, Nova. Because it isn’t me.”
Conor dropped the bottle to the sand and walked away.
All of his friends clapped for him.
Cheered.
Whistled.
At my expense.
Which I probably deserved.
But not tonight…
Please… just not tonight…
I hugged myself and walked the beach.
Swaying left to right.
The darkness swallowing me whole.
Until I stopped and did something I should have done a long time ago.
I texted my Summer Boy to come get me.
Chapter 14
Elijah
I flipped the letter over and took a drag of my cigarette.
I looked through some notes I had started to take. Trying to track down as much as I could. My father wasn’t going to help me. Why would he? As far as he was concerned, his only son had been tragically killed. The sadness would work in his favor, but having the police involved would make things weird. So whatever was actually happening there was kept hush hush.
I wasn’t going to be hush hush though.
There were answers I needed so I could then give Nova what she wanted.
Which was me gone.
That was fine.
I’d leave.
And I’d wait for her.
Or try to forget her.
I had names and arrows on the papers.
Some of it made sense.
Some of it didn’t.
It was hard to track down a killer when the victim deserved to be killed. And when most everyone in his life wanted him dead.
I had to laugh though… I was pretty much the same.
There were so many targets on my back, I wore them like my favorite hoodie.
Fuck it. Right?
“Anything good there?” Noelle asked me.
She sat down on the second step of the porch.
I looked at her.
One earbud still stuck in her ear.
“Nothing much,” I said. “I’ll put it away. You shouldn’t see this anyway. Not fair to you.”
“Why?”
“For what he did.”
“I’m over it.”
“No you’re not,” I said. “That’s something you’re never over.”
Noelle put her hand on mine. “Just don’t tell anyone that. I’m really trying to get through all of this. Not many people get it.”
“I get it,” I said. “I see it. Not easy what happened.”
Noelle leaned toward me. She put her chin on my shoulder.
She wanted me to kiss her.
If I kissed her… that would lead to more. A lot more.
There was a lot pent up inside me. A lot that Noelle could help relieve.
Worse than that, kissing her would feel like betraying Nova.
And when the fuck did I become so soft?
I slowly balanced my cigarette on the edge of the porch.
Noelle kissed my shoulder and moved away. “If Cherry finds you out here she might hurt you.”
“I’m not worried about her,” I said. “I know she loves Wes. But I never did wrong by her. She knows that. I’m just the bastard. She has a soft spot for that.”
“Like me,” Noelle said. “I mean, the way she took me in. I’m the female bastard.”
I laughed. “What’s the actual term for that?”
“Bastard…de?”
“What?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Isn’t that how you make something feminine in French or whatever?”
“Whoa. You paid way too much attention in class,” I said. “That’s kind of dorky.”
“Thanks for that,” she said.
I nudged my elbow at her.
She giggled and took the other earbud out.
She left the earbuds on the step and I caught myself facing her.
This isn’t a real thing, Noelle. I’m leaving really soon. So if this happens…
There was a split second when our eyes locked and I felt something.
Maybe something.
Maybe not.
Before I could explore what the fuck was happening, my phone bu
zzed behind me against the porch.
Like a total asshole to Noelle, I spun around to check my phone.
My brain and heart linked up long enough to scream one thing.
Nova!
But it was never Nova. She wasn’t going to text.
I grabbed my phone and let out a huh sound.
“You okay?” Noelle asked.
I collected my stuff, including my cigarette, and jumped off the porch.
“Elijah?” Noelle asked.
I looked at her. “I’m sorry, Noelle. I’m gone. Like really gone.”
Noelle didn’t say a word.
She just put her earbuds back in.
I didn’t have time -or care- to go through her feelings.
Or my own even.
Because Nova had texted me.
She needed me.
And nothing was going to stop me from getting to her.
* * *
I ran down the beach, tossing my cigarette away.
A group of people stood up and all looked at me.
“Holy shit,” Conor said as he put his arms out to protect his friends.
“Not here for you,” I said. “Where is she?”
“You can’t fucking let her go,” Conor said.
I made a fist and cocked it back.
Conor stepped back and tripped over a cooler.
“The fire!” someone yelled.
Conor screamed and thrashed his arms as though he were on fire.
I laughed. “Fucking pussy.”
“She’s over there,” Conor yelled.
I probably could have just looked on my own, but it was fun to fuck with Conor.
And it was easy.
And my point was made with him.
I ran down the beach again and found Nova sitting in the sand, hugging her legs.
It was like deja fucking vu.
I dropped to my knees and touched her shoulder.
She gasped and looked at me.
“You came,” she whispered.
“Of course I did, babe. I’m here for you.”
The moment was suddenly electric.
Like nothing I ever had with anyone else before in my life.
And I was done playing fucking games.
My hands slid along her soft cheeks and I pulled her toward me.
Her lips parted and she exhaled a vodka laced breath a second before my lips crashed to hers.
Fucking finally.
I closed my lips to hers and pulled back.
I licked my lips to taste our kiss.
I put my forehead to hers.
It was like being asleep for years… or being dead… or something… and that one kiss…
I needed more.
I kissed her again.
Still gently though.
The kind of kisses a girl like Nova deserved. Especially on the beach. At night. The waves crashing to the shore. The entire scene like something out of a cheesy love movie.
But whatever.
She tasted perfect.
Like I had remembered from last summer.
Anyone else I kissed between then and now were long gone in my memory.
But not Nova.
She was never gone.
Ever.
I kissed her again, parting her lips some more with my tongue.
The flicker of her tongue against mine…
I pulled back.
“Elijah,” she whispered. “Don’t stop…”
But I had to.
She was drinking too much again.
And she was on the beach with Conor.
Something was going on.
Something that went much deeper than me.
“Come here, babe,” I said.
I helped her to her feet.
She lunged at me, clawing at me to kiss her again.
I held her face again in my hands and fought the worst temptation I ever felt.
I kissed her forehead.
I had to get her out of there. Off the beach. Somewhere safe. Somewhere to sleep that wasn’t my fucking car either.
A memory washed back to me.
I looked her in the eyes.
Between us, the feelings were as wild as ever. And there would eventually be a time and a place for it all.
Until then…
I stroked her cheeks.
* * *
I carried her through the house, avoiding the common traffic areas. It was still a little crazy to me that the house was so big I could do that.
There was only one small problem though.
As I turned the one corner, I paused and realized I was standing at the exact spot where my brother had been shot. Something about the moment decided to try and grab the best of me. Carrying the girl I loved - the only girl I ever loved. Trying to get her to safety. Waiting for her to confess what was actually causing her the pain she felt so greatly. And at the same time, I had a gut punch feeling knowing where I stood was where Ryland stood when someone pulled the trigger on a gun. Now I wasn’t completely sure whoever that person was meant to kill him or not. Maybe it was to send a message. Or maybe it was just an emotional decision and act of… what?
Some girl he pissed off?
Some dude that was fed up with his bullshit?
Or something much worse?
I kept walking.
I had no choice.
Nova had her arms around my neck, her face tucked into my chest.
Almost like she was a sleeping baby. After a long night of fighting sleep, finally forcing herself to rest.
Part of me hoped it was because she was with me.
But I had no fucking clue.
I snuck her to my room and laughed to myself as I realized what was happening.
All those nights for all those summers, she and I sneaking around together at night, trying to find a place to be together. I never truly had a home in Hidden and she never wanted me at her house. There were a few times when her parents were out of town and we played house but that was short-lived because of those who came and went from her house that took care of the place.
But here I was, finally carrying her to a bed. To my bed. And, yeah, maybe this wasn’t my house or my home, but it was the closest thing I had at that moment.
Of course, Nova was drunk. And sleeping.
So the dream of a moment was in my arms, but the reality took away the dream.
I lowered Nova down to the bed.
She turned sideways and pulled for the covers.
I watched as she tucked herself in.
I reached down and moved her hair out of her face.
“What happened to you, babe?” I whispered.
“Elijah?” her soft voice asked.
“I’m right here,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe right here.”
Her eyes opened. She licked those kissable lips of hers.
“Why did you beat up Conor?”
I laughed. “What? That’s what you’re worried about right now?”
She nodded. “I screwed up, Elijah. Everything I did with him. I screwed up.”
“You didn’t screw up,” I said.
“Yes, I did,” she said.
I let out a long breath and climbed onto the bed. I carefully climbed over Nova, her eyes locking to mine, leaving the large bedroom overflowing with temptation.
I sat on the bed next to her as she turned and hugged the covers again.
I caught myself slowly reaching for her, so I could play with her hair.
She was comfort to me.
Something I couldn’t explain and something I never told anyone.
I swallowed hard, knowing these moments between us were limited.
And… fuck… the only reason this was happening was because she drank too much. Again.
“Conor is a good person,” she whispered.
I looked down at her and curled my lip. “Are you in love with him?”
“No.”
“Do you even like him?”
/> “No.”
“So what’s the point of this?”
“I dragged him into it,” she said. “Into something he had no idea about.”
“Nova, you can’t beat yourself up. It’s done and over. And I don’t care who he is or who he is with… you know what? Screw that. I’m not going to be nice about it. I swear on my life I wish I could beat the shit out of him every day for the rest of my life. Because he thought he could have you and he couldn’t. Something could have happened to you, babe. And when my mind thinks that…”
I shook my head.
“What?” Nova asked.
“Nothing.”
“No, tell me,” she said. She shook the bed. “Come on, Elijah. Tell me.”
I looked down at her.
I gritted my teeth.
Her blue eyes were a knife to my heart.
“When I start thinking about what could have happened, I lose my mind a little, babe. Because I think about all the days and all the nights I’m not with you. That all we ever had was summer. And I get it, Nova. That’s what we agreed upon. We were going to do the summer thing and live it up without regret. And I did. Each and every damn summer. But waiting for summer to show up again… those were the longest days of my life…”
My fingers moved through her hair.
She looked perfect in my bed.
She bit on her bottom lip.
“I know,” she whispered. “Keep going…”
I stared forward. “I don’t know what else to say, babe. Anyone else I was with was just to waste time. And if hearts were on the line, I knocked them down. I never gave myself a chance to figure something else out. And I don’t regret that. Believe me, I’m not saying that I…”
I looked down and Nova’s eyes were shut.
I took a shaky breath.
“I tried to love a few others,” I whispered to her as she slept. “But nobody came close to you. And when I wrote that letter to you last summer, I was trying to break your heart. I was trying to break my own heart. So I could sink low. Really fucking low, babe. And then climb my way out and find a world where you weren’t there. And I checked in with Ryland a lot about you. My heart was broken, secretly hoping he’d say you found someone. I wanted to hear that you were in love with someone else. I wanted it to be so fucking serious that the only way I could survive the news would be to get completely wasted and throw my life away. But I guess that never happened, did it?”
The sudden urge to kiss Nova soared through me.
A harmless kiss on the head or cheek wouldn’t matter.
HIDDEN CREEK AGAIN: a hidden creek high novel Page 15
