‘You what?’ Callie prompted.
‘I don’t hate you. This is ridiculous.’ I dragged my hand over my hair. ‘Why won’t you believe it was just a stupid mistake?’
‘Because you joined that group. You have their emblem tattooed over your heart as a badge of honour.’
‘Hellsake! I’ve had five laser treatments to remove it. And I told you why I did that.’ I raised my voice, exasperated. ‘I was angry.’
Callie flinched. I struggled to bank down my frustration. I had to make her understand.
‘I was drowning in anger at the time,’ I tried again, moderating my voice. ‘And the NF were there for me when no one else was.’
‘What could make you so bitter that you’d join a Nought supremacist group?’
Silence.
Callie’s eyes widened as she heard what I’d left unsaid. ‘It was me, wasn’t it? You hated me. That’s why you joined them.’
And, as much as I might want to, I couldn’t deny it.
sixty-six. Callie
* * *
I stared at the man, the stranger, before me. I’d just slept with the enemy. God! All I wanted to do was go home, hit the shower and scrub myself clean. The Tobey I knew would never have joined the N.F., no matter how angry and hurt he was. My Tobey loved me enough to never make that decision. My Tobey had been swapped for this … this doppelgänger.
‘Callie, it was just a bad mistake.’
Did Tobey really believe that? No, he couldn’t. No one could be that stupid.
I said scathingly, ‘You want to vent your anger, you go for a run or hit a punchbag. No one but a Nought supremacist son of a bitch would get a tattoo like that.’
‘Godsake, it’s just ink – and ink I had removed at that. Stop making such a big deal out of it,’ said Tobey.
‘It’s a symbol of hatred and contempt for anyone who doesn’t look like you, Tobey. I can’t believe I actually … I’ve got to get out of here.’
I pushed past him, gathering up my clothes and quickly putting them on.
‘Callie, it’s just a tattoo.’
‘No, Tobey. It’s a way of thinking, of being. Getting it is one thing. That tells me who you were. Still having the remnants of it over your heart? That says who you are, Tobey. Don’t you get that?’
Oh my God. All these years, I’d held on to the memory of a guy who didn’t exist except in my imagination.
‘It says who I was, not who I am,’ Tobey said angrily.
‘It also says get yourself another lawyer,’ I told him, surprised my words were so icy cold when my insides were burning, melting into a puddle of pain and betrayal.
Tobey drew himself up to his full height, his eyes, his whole expression now an unreadable mask. ‘Callie, you can’t quit as my lawyer. If you quit, that tells the whole world I’m guilty.’
‘The whole world doesn’t know about your case or that I’m your barrister – remember?’
‘And that’s the way I want it to stay. If it comes out that you dumped me as your client, how will it look?’ said Tobey.
‘That’s not my problem. I’ll see myself out.’
Tobey grabbed my arm. ‘Callie, you’re not going anywhere. You’re as good as putting a noose around my neck if you abandon me now.’
‘Which part of “not my problem” are you struggling with?’ I blazed. ‘Get one of your bigot friends to defend you.’
I pulled out of his grasp and headed for the door, grabbing my bag and phone from the sofa as I did so. I just wanted to go home and shower for a week. A month. Tobey was a member of Nought Forever. God, I was going to be sick. Why would he do it? Why would he sleep with me if he hated me so much? Was this all about retribution? Had he really been nursing a thirst for revenge all these years?
‘Callie, you’re still my lawyer. If you try to back out of this case, I will go to the CPS, the Legal Ethics Committee and the Bar Council and tell them all that you and I are having an affair. I may lose my lawyer, but you’d lose your career. And, if that doesn’t work, I’ll go to the press. I know a few rags who would love a story like that. Can’t you see the headlines? “Nought PM beds Cross lawyer.” That should shift a few newspapers and garner some online ads and revenue, don’t you think? And if all that doesn’t work, I know things about you and your family that even you don’t know – and I won’t hesitate to use them against you.’
Horrified, I spun round, staring at Tobey. ‘You would do that? Who are you?’
He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.
‘Don’t test me,’ he said quietly. ‘I’m fighting for my political life here and I’ll do whatever is necessary to make this go away. You will defend me, Callie, and what’s more you’ll get me off this charge of murder. Believe me, we’ll both pay the price for anything less.’
A creeping stillness washed over me as Tobey and I regarded each other. I dropped my gaze, trying to regroup. Jon and Sol were right. I’d clung on to the Tobey I used to know as a teenager, too stubborn to see that he no longer existed. Sex with me was just his way of ensuring I remained committed to his cause.
‘So it’s like that, is it?’ I said, looking up.
‘Yeah, it’s like that,’ said Tobey. ‘You’re my lawyer. I won’t allow you to desert me at this late stage.’
‘The real Tobias Durbridge finally stands up. Very well. If you’ll excuse me, I have work to do to prepare for your trial.’ I turned and headed for the door. Inside I was crumbling, but on the outside my back was straight and my footsteps didn’t falter. I could at least take comfort in that.
I opened the door, determined not to look back, only to have the door pushed shut from behind. I spun round. Tobey stood before me with just a few centimetres between us. I tried to step away, only to smack back against the door.
‘Callie, don’t go. Not like this,’ he pleaded.
‘Tobey, let me leave, please.’
‘Why won’t you listen?’ he said, running a hand through his hair again. I recognized that habit of old. It’s what Tobey did whenever he was frustrated and things weren’t going his way. Glowering at each other, neither of us wanted to be the first to back down.
But then the mood between us shifted. The look on Tobey’s face changed from anger to something far more dangerous. His gaze lowered to my lips. Immediately I turned my face away.
‘Don’t you dare! Don’t think you can seduce me into staying. Let me leave this instant or our deal is off. You can find yourself another lawyer and be damned.’
A moment, then Tobey stepped back. I opened the door, resolving never to be alone with him again.
‘Callie, it doesn’t have to be like this between us,’ he said softly.
‘It is what you made it,’ I turned to him to say.
‘So be it. You know where to find me,’ said Tobey, his eyes burning into mine.
Yeah, ruling in hell.
I slammed his door shut and pressed the button to call the lift, ignoring the two bodyguards who flanked the doorway. Only when the lift doors closed behind me did I allow myself to collapse. I sagged against the back wall, struggling to keep it together. I’d never in my life felt so … cheap, so ashamed.
Inside my bag, my phone rang again. Retrieving it, I saw I had a number of missed calls, all from my mum. She was on the phone to me now. A deep breath, then I forced myself to sound calm and normal.
‘Hi, Mum. How come you’re phoning me so late?’
‘Callie, where the hell have you been? Didn’t you get my texts?’ Mum’s voice was frantic. ‘I’ve been trying to get hold of you all evening.’
‘Mum? What’s the matter? What’s happened?’
‘It’s Troy.’
‘What about him? I was supposed to meet him for dinner, but he stood me up.’
‘He phoned me a couple of hours ago. Well, I thought it was him because the call was from his phone, but it wasn’t him and—’
‘Mum, slow down. You’re not making any sense,’ I interrupted. ‘What’s going
on? Did someone steal his phone?’
‘Oh, Callie, they’ve got Troy.’
Pause.
‘What?’ I said, stunned. ‘Who’s got what?’
‘The man on the phone said he has Troy and Libby. That’s a girl in his year. The man said that if I wanted to see Troy again in one piece I had to give you a message.’
‘What message?’
As Mum spoke, my blood ran like Arctic waters. At first I hoped it was a bluff or someone’s idea of a bad joke, but by the time she had finished relaying the message I knew this was as real as it got.
My worst fears for my brother’s safety had been realized. While I’d been in Tobey’s bed, Troy was being held against his will. Was he even alive?
No! I wasn’t going to go there. He had to be alive, he just had to be. His kidnappers couldn’t coerce me into doing what they said if they harmed him.
Calm down, Callie. Think.
‘Callie, we need to contact the police,’ Mum urged. ‘I know they said not to, but we don’t stand a chance of getting him back without the help of the police.’
‘Don’t contact them yet,’ I replied. ‘Give me forty-eight hours to find him first. After that, if I’m no closer to finding him, then we’ll involve them.’
‘Callie, we can’t take that chance. Not with Troy’s life. What can you do in forty-eight hours that they can’t?’ asked Mum.
‘I’ll get Jon, my colleague, on it. He still has friends in the police service and I can call in some favours of my own. You know Jon. He’s the best at what he does. He’ll find them. Mum, please. Let me handle this.’
‘If anything happens to Troy and the other girl—’
Oh. My. God … The penny had finally dropped with the name of the girl snatched alongside my brother. ‘Mum, you said the girl’s name is Libby. Is that Liberty Jackman?’
‘I don’t know,’ she said, agitated. ‘I guess so. That’s the only girl in his year with that name. Wait. Is that the same girl Troy told us about? The one whose mum didn’t want a Cross in her house?’
‘Yeah.’ My mind was racing at full throttle. ‘Mum, I need you to trust me. Don’t worry. I’ll find Troy and bring him home.’
‘Troy must be so scared. If anything happens to him—’ Tears were all too evident in Mum’s voice. Tears that broke me.
‘It won’t. I won’t let it,’ I interrupted, my voice harsh with grim determination.
‘Callie, d’you really think you can get him home?’
‘I’ll do whatever it takes, Mum. That’s a promise.’
And if it meant making a deal with the devil, then so be it.
sixty-seven. Tobey
* * *
What had I done?
How many times had I told myself to get this damned tattoo taken care of properly? But, after the last painful laser treatment, my doctor had warned me that my tattoo was probably as faded as it would get and that any further treatments could cause irrevocable skin damage, leaving me with scar tissue and a huge blemish on my chest. As there would be no more topless photoshoots to show off how physically capable I was of doing the job, I’d decided to call a halt. The idea of scars over my chest certainly didn’t appeal. Now, thanks to my vanity, my liberty was in jeopardy. If Callie followed through with her threat to dump me as her client, I’d be well and truly up shit creek with no way back. Yes, there were other lawyers, but she was one of the best and the only one I could trust with what I needed to disclose.
My head had been all over the place when I first had the tattoo done. I’d split up with Callie and had just had Libby, and my life and future were in the toilet. To my way of thinking, Callie and Owen Dowd were the primary authors of my misery – particularly Callie. What had she ever done but brought turmoil into my life?
I left school, trying to focus on what I was.
And what was I? A Nought, loud and proud. A Nought – first, last and forever.
The tattoo was my way of remembering and paying homage to that – or so I’d thought at the time. The ink on my chest was my way of building a wall between Callie and how I felt about her. For years, I persuaded myself that it had worked. Sometimes a whole day passed without me thinking of her.
When I joined Nought Forever, I lasted the grand total of six months. Within days, I knew I’d made a mistake. I’d joined a so-called organization that contained nothing but bruisers and losers. The bruisers were looking for a cause – any cause – to act as camouflage for their love of putting the boot in. Nought Forever welcomed them as long as they focused their aggression on Crosses. As for the losers, they were far more dangerous. They were desperately trying to live in a past that had never really existed in the first place. Losers blamed Crosses for everything they deemed wrong with their lives and their belief was a convenient hook upon which to hang their hatred. Even from within the organization, I kept telling myself I wasn’t like them. But I’d done some things … Such things …
So I got out. Shook them off and walked away.
I sat naked on my bed, contemplating the mess I’d made of my life, and the greatest hits just kept on coming. The best evening of my adult life had turned into the worst. Callie truly believed I’d go to the Bar Council and the media if she dropped my case, and I needed her to go on believing it. With her as my lawyer, I stood a slim chance. Without her, I stood an icicle’s chance in hell of getting through this unscathed.
I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life in prison. That wasn’t an option.
I’d die first.
A tap at the front door. Donning my dressing gown, I headed over to open it.
‘I’m sorry to disturb you, sir, but Miss Hadley here says she needs to speak to you urgently, and as she just left your apartment—’ Michael, one of my Cross protection officers, was all apologies.
Callie stood to one side, her shoulders back, her expression resolute. ‘I really need to speak to you, Tobey. It’s important or I wouldn’t be here.’
That I believed.
‘Michael, please put Miss Hadley on the list of people who may see me at any time,’ I said.
‘Of course, sir.’
I stood aside to let Callie walk past, closing the door quietly behind her.
She stood in the middle of my sitting room with her back to me as if she were fighting for composure. When she finally turned round, alarm bells immediately began to sound in my head. I had initially thought she might’ve wanted to rip into me again but saw at once I’d misread the situation. Her whole demeanour remained unnaturally stiff, like she was fighting to remain in control. I waited for her to speak.
‘Mum received a call earlier from my brother Troy’s phone,’ she began. ‘Troy has been abducted. I need you to prepare yourself, Tobey.’
‘For what? What’s going on?’ My tone was sharper than intended, but Callie knew it wasn’t directed at her.
‘I’m sorry, but they also have your daughter, Liberty.’
The bones in my legs dissolved. I collapsed down into the nearest chair. ‘Are you sure? Are they all right?’
‘They have to be.’ Callie sat down beside me, taking my hands in hers. ‘The alarm wasn’t raised until both Troy and Libby failed to show up for the school head-student election result. The school tried phoning Libby’s mum, but apparently they still haven’t managed to contact her. Mum knew that Troy was supposed to meet me for dinner so she wasn’t overly worried, but he never put in an appearance. I just assumed he had stood me up.’
‘So who has them? What do they want?’
‘I’ve been told to give you a message. They want you to go public with the charge against you and plead guilty to Dan’s murder or you’ll never see your daughter again. I’ve been ordered to drop the super-injunction and your case or my brother will be sent back to me in pieces. If either of us goes to the police or tells anyone what’s really going on, Troy’s and Libby’s blood will be on our hands. That was the message. Mum said the man who spoke told her he was working for Dan Jeavons
.’
The silence in the room was oppressive, overwhelming, when Callie finished speaking. Liberty … Was it true? Had someone taken my daughter just to force me out of office? No … this was so much more than merely wanting to see me out of a job. There was real malevolence at work here. Someone didn’t want to just see me down and out, they wanted me crucified at the end of it. This was definitely worthy of Dan, but he was dead.
‘D’you believe the threats?’ I asked. ‘D’you think someone really does have them?’
Callie nodded. ‘Troy wouldn’t just disappear. I tried phoning him, but his phone isn’t even ringing and that thing is practically superglued to his hand. Can you check to see if Liberty is safe?’
‘Hold on.’ I retrieved my phone from my jacket pocket and checked Libby’s email to me. Clicking on the mobile number she’d provided, I held the phone to my ear.
‘Her phone isn’t ringing either,’ I said after a few moments.
Callie sighed. ‘They’ve probably been destroyed so they can’t be used as tracking devices. ‘Who d’you think did this?’
That was just the point: I hadn’t a clue. It was hard to track down someone when you didn’t know who you were looking for.
‘Is it someone out to avenge Dan’s murder?’ Callie ventured. ‘Someone who is convinced that you’re guilty?’
‘But I’m not,’ I replied. ‘If it’s someone who works … worked for Dan, they must already know that.’
Callie’s eyes shimmered hazel with unshed tears. ‘Oh, Tobey, what do we do?’
sixty-eight. Troy
* * *
The bolts draw back. The key turns in the lock. The bald thug appears at the top of the stairs, a phone in his hand.
‘Troy, you’re going to send a message to your sister,’ he says without preamble. ‘Tell her to do as she’s told or you’ll be the one to suffer if she doesn’t.’
He walks down to the middle of the staircase. ‘Shaka’s brew! It stinks in here.’
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