by Valia Lind
"You didn't even look in here to see if it was already occupied. I could've been here first."
"No, you really couldn't have."
I know this because I would've felt him. I'm not sure when I became so attuned to his presence, but here we are. It's why I didn't attack in the forest, why I knew to trust a wolf I've never seen before. Something is stringing us together, and if I had an explanation for it, I would offer one up. But I've got nothing.
"What does that mean?" he asks, stepping farther into the room. His heated gaze is on me, and it's like he's branding me with his eyes. All air leaves my lungs, but I refuse to let him see just how affected I am.
"Wouldn't you like to know." I smile sweetly, and his eyes flash again, this time with so much emotion I nearly stagger where I stand. His gaze zeroes in on my lips, and I swear I can feel that look down to my very soul.
The moment becomes too much and not enough at the same time. If I could freeze time, I think this would be the memory I would want to hold onto the most. It's as if I'm seeing and feeling every emotion for the first time, and I don't know which way is up or which way is down.
I have no idea how our staring contest would've ended if the PA system didn't crackle to life with its signature announcement ding.
"The student body, please report to the grand hall. Headmaster Marković has an announcement to make."
"We are spending way too much time in that room," Aiden comments, finally breaking eye contact. The moment he looks away, it's as if a weight has been lifted off my chest. I look over at Jade, who's still sitting in the chair, watching us like some reality show.
"Let's go," I tell her before I pull her up, and we head out the doors. I don't have to look back to know Aiden is keeping pace with us. When we all file into the grand hall, Headmaster doesn't wait for us to quiet down.
"Listen up," he begins, and I notice he looks even more rugged than last time. Normally, his suits are tailored to his very fit body. Even though he's got pepper in his hair, he looks strong and sure of himself, even at sixty years old. Now, he's wearing his age in a way that makes him look even older. Whatever is happening, it's more serious than I can guess. "I am sorry to say that someone is tampering with our protective wards. No one breached the boundary and no one will. But whoever is doing so is trying to instill panic into these walls and it's working."
"Is he saying what I think he's saying?" Jade murmurs beside me.
"There is a traitor amongst us." Aiden's voice comes over my shoulder, and those are my thoughts exactly. The headmaster promises they are doing everything they can to find out who the culprit is, but I'm not sure how this will play out.
Everyone within these walls is a suspect now.
"Keep your feet planted," Aiden commands, circling around me. We've been at this for three days now, but I have no idea if I'm getting better. I've spent a few hours every night in the underground library since the last lockdown, still unable to find answers. There haven’t been any more false alarms, but everyone is on high alert.
Aiden included.
He's running me harder than he has been, and I can't really decipher his mood today. He's angry at me for something, and I have no idea what.
"They are planted," I snap, as I bounce a little on the soles of my feet.
"Not planted enough."
He attacks, his arm aiming for my right side, but I shift quickly, bringing my elbow to block him. He goes for the left next, but I catch him there too. We continue the dance, moving left to right to left again, and I keep up with him at every turn.
"I'd say planted enough," I finally announce, grinning at him. He blinks a few times, as if he needs an extra minute to focus before he walks around me and toward where he left his water bottle.
"Really? Nothing? Not even a grunt of praise?"
"You want me to praise you?" He turns around quickly, getting right in my face. The outburst is so uncharacteristic of him, it stuns me for a second. But only a second, as frustration bubbles up inside of me.
"Yes. I'd like to be told I'm doing a good job when I clearly am," I snap, placing my hands on my hips and taking a step closer.
"I'm sure your attacker would be more than happy to mention your form while he's ripping your head off your shoulders." His words are dripping with sarcasm, but he's not the only one who has mastered that particular personality trait.
"Wow, don't have a cow. If it's such a bother to be nice for a second, you should invest in some etiquette lessons. Which I'm sure is too much for you to handle, so I'll show myself out." I grab for my own water bottle, taking a few sips before I turn toward the exit. We're done for the day anyway, and I'm not about to stand here accepting his foul mood.
"Don't have a cow? Who even talks like that?" He grumbles under his breath, but it's enough to have me spinning on my heels and marching right back up to him.
"I do. I talk like that. I also like phrases like peachy keen and tickety-boo. Do you have a problem with that?"
I'm right in his face, but I don't care. I don't appreciate being made fun of. And coming from Aiden, it feels ten times worse.
"No problem," he replies, raising his hands in front of him as if to ward off any more attacks. "You enjoy your random tickety whatever."
"I am enjoying it, and I would be very appreciative if you would stop making fun of me for it."
His eyes narrow at my words, and he drops his hands to his sides, suddenly deflated somehow.
"I'm not making fun of you."
"Really? So, what would you call it?" I stand as tall as I can make myself, not backing down. But I'm still not imposing enough, and I know it.
"I would never make fun of you for being who you are." He says it so softly, at first I don't think I heard him right. But the intensity of his gaze sends pleasant shivers up my arm, which I'm sure he notices with his shifter senses.
"Then what are you doing?" I ask after a small pause. He doesn't answer right away, as if struggling to find the right words. When he speaks, it changes something between us.
"I'm just trying to understand you."
We stare at each other, and it's as if all the oxygen has been vacuumed out of the room. A million questions race into my mind, the biggest of all is why? But I don't seem to be brave enough to utter that one word. My whole world has tilted with his truth and I don't think it'll ever be right again. The magic inside of me is just as restless as the heart beating in my chest. I know he can hear it, and I think his own matches my pace.
Then, just when I think I'm ready to move forward, Aiden rips his gaze from mine, taking two steps back. That's all I need to find my legs and head for the door, leaving him behind. Whatever just happened, I don't think either one of us was ready for it. But just like always, I leave feeling confused and unbalanced. But now, I add wishful to that list.
12
We're in the dining hall a few days later, sitting around the table, talking about our English project, when Headmaster Marković walks in. The whole room grows quiet immediately, all eyes on him.
"Good afternoon, students," he greets us, his voice carrying across the large room, clearly amplified by magic. "In light of recent events, morale has been incredibly low. To help combat some of the sadness that has descended upon this institution, I would like to announce that next Friday we are having a dance. Think of it as welcome back to school event."
Before he's even done, everyone starts talking at once. Headmaster Marković smiles at the room before he turns and leaves the way he came in. The energy has definitely gone up since before the announcement, it was fairly quiet in here.
"A dance! That sounds like so much fun," Jade exclaims from beside me. Christy is already nodding her head with more enthusiasm than should be able to live in that small body of hers.
Typically, I would be excited as well. It's not as if we have dances very often. Kate would definitely be the one jumping up and down if she was here. But lately, I've just been tired. I muster up a smile, but I don't re
ally join in on the discussion as everyone begins making plans.
"Hey, I'm going to head back to the room and lay down for a minute," I say as I lean over to Jade when there's a small lull in the conversation. She gives my face a quick study and nods.
"Do you need me to come with you?"
"No, thanks." I smile. "I just need a little bit of rest."
I say goodbye to our friends and head toward the rooms, determined to sleep. Since I know I'll be sneaking over to the library tonight, I'm way too drained for anything right now. My classes are done for the day, and the training with Aiden isn't until four. I have a good four-and-a-half hour window that I am going to use to catch up on some rest.
But the moment I lay down on my bed, my mind begins working overtime. Shutting my eyes, I push all thought of my family, the Ancients, and especially Aiden, far from my mind, but it doesn't seem to be working. I toss and turn a few times, refusing to open my eyes. If nothing else, Mr. Sandman, if you're listening, bring me a dream.
Except, he doesn't seem to be listening.
I focus on keeping my breathing even, my eyes still shut, and my mind as blank as possible. But it doesn't seem to be helping. It's like my thoughts are being pulled toward one inevitable subject: Aiden. He's definitely winning the topic of obsession in my mind right now.
We've been in such a standstill for days now. Since his mini confession about trying to understand me, I've been even more unbalanced around him than usual.
I've never had anyone wanting to understand me before. At least no one who said the words out loud. There was something behind them too, some kind of an emotion I can't identify. But then, I can't identify anything when it comes to Aiden. He's so hot and cold around me, it drives me insane.
Forcing all thoughts of him out of my mind I move onto the next issue at hand. My father.
Bri sent a message yesterday letting me know Nolan and Krista are traveling to Nolan's home to see if the Fae have any information they'd be willing to share. Even though the message was delayed before it got to me, I can hear the underlying worry in her words. The Fae aren't exactly known for their hospitality, and Krista and Nolan are like family. At least Nolan is Fae, and pretty high up on the royalty ladder. That should offer him a little bit of protection now that he's back in their good graces.
I've learned that prejudice runs deep within magical communities. And not only with shifters and witches. Nolan, for example, is part fox shifter, part Fae. That earned him a banishment for a long while. The only reason I know all this is because his half-brother, Liam, and I became friends last year. Still, it doesn't sit right with me that Krista and Nolan are crossing into Fae lands. It's a huge risk to take, but I guess that's what happens when there is a war going on and your loved ones are in danger.
Now that I'm thinking about my hometown, my mind is once again with my family. I miss my father something fierce.
I would do anything to see his gigglemug right about now. The word brings a smile to my face as I think about the first time he told me about it. He was grinning so hard I thought his face would split in two. When he told me the word, I couldn't help but laugh.
"That right there is the exact definition of the word. A perpetual smiler."
There's no telling how much of it is true or how many definitions he's made up just to see me laugh. I squeeze the blankets close to my chest as the tears sting behind my eyelids. Something's got to give soon, and I'm scared it might be me. How many more sleepless nights can I manage? How many times can I sneak over to the library before I'm discovered? I'm not doing nearly enough to help find my dad, and the guilt is about eating me alive.
I'm not sure how, but with that thought, I finally drift off to sleep.
A consistent knocking is what wakes me. At first, I think it's part of my dream. But then it fades before I can remember it, and the knocking continues.
"What?" I grumble, getting off the bed and yanking the door open. Aiden stands on the other side, his hand raised to knock again. "Are you lost?"
"Love the look," he comments giving me a quick up and down. I realize I'm wearing my Superman pajama bottoms and Batman t-shirt. "You know they're not friends."
"Neither are we. What are you doing here?"
That earns me a glare before he pushes past me and into the room. He heads straight for my bed, sitting down on it, arms crossed across his chest. I roll my eyes before I shut the door and turn to face him.
"By all means, make yourself at home."
"Thank you for your hospitality."
The fact that he can dish out as good as he gets is an admirable trait. And a very annoying one. I try not to fidget under his scrutiny. I'm sure my hair is a bird’s nest. I never have learned how to sleep without waking up looking like I just fought off a sleuth of bears.
"You didn't show up to practice. I am merely doing my civic duty and making sure you're not dead."
I glance over at the clock, shocked to find it's almost seven in the evening.
"I guess I must've really needed the rest," I shrug, hoping he'll leave it at that. Of course, I should know better by now. He scoots farther up my bed, placing his back against the wall, his long legs stretched out in front of him.
"You really did. You looked like you were about to fall over this morning."
"Oh, Aiden. Haven't we talked about stalking and how bad it is for you? And most definitely me?"
I'm trying to keep calm about the fact that he's on my bed. His body is long and large, and it makes my bed look like it's child sized.
"It's only stalking if you don't like it, Duchess."
"Well, it's stalking when it's stalking. But if this is the reasoning you are employing, I am happy to announce that I don't like it."
If I wasn't watching him so closely, I might've missed the tiny spark of amusement in his eyes. It's so strange to me, but I have yet to see him smile. I wonder if he'll look like I've imagined him in my mind. Not that I'm fantasizing about him or anything. I'm just curious, that's all.
"You know, you wouldn't be so tired if you stayed in your room at night," he says, nonchalantly bypassing my comment and surprising me all at the same time.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I reply, really wishing I could find a mirror and figure out what's happening on my head.
"Come on, Duchess. Do you really want to play this game with me?" He leans forward just a little, and my mind conjures up all kinds of games we could be playing. When have I become this person and when has Aiden taken permanent residence in my head?
"I don't want to play any games with you," I reply, keeping my voice steady. Reaching for my hair, I collect it into my hands before I start braiding it. He watches as my fingers make fast work of the strands, the look somehow intimate. He doesn't speak until I put an elastic at the end of it.
"You don't even believe your own words," he says, raising his eyes to mine once more. I bristle at that, because I'm not about to let him get away with telling me what I think or believe.
"Just because you don't want to accept defeat, doesn't mean I don't know my own mind," I snap, tired and frustrated and ready to have him out of my space. He's making my skin tingle, and I'm afraid I'll do something I can't come back from if he stays any longer. Like blast him with some battle magic. Or other things I don't want to put a name to.
"I would never dare to tell you what you think," Aiden says, scooting to the edge of my bed. "But I think you lie to yourself more often than you realize."
He stands then, and without waiting for a response, walks out of the room. I lean against Jade's desk, unsure of what exactly just happened. Anytime I'm around him, I lose all ground I've gained. He comes in like a hurricane, disturbing everything in his path, and I'm left holding the pieces.
When I walk back over to my bed, I realize I can still feel him on the sheets. There's a lingering smell in my personal space that's entirely his. I stare at the bed, torn between laying down and ripping the fabric off the mattress. Angry
at myself for even thinking these thoughts, I grab my English homework and march to my desk.
I will study, and I will force myself to forget about the fact that Aiden was just lying on my bed.
13
The whole week is a blur of preparations. Everyone is asking everyone to the dance like it's homecoming or something. We typically only have three dances. The winter ball, the new year celebration, and the end of the year send off. Now, I feel like we're about to have a party every month, just to keep the morale up.
"You are never going to believe what happened," Jade announces, walking into the room late in the afternoon. It's Wednesday, which means we end the day in different classes, so I haven't seen her since lunch.
"Someone asked you to the dance?" I ask, barely looking up from my reading.
"How do you always know everything?"
"I wish I knew everything," I mumble, before placing a bookmark on the page and focusing completely on my friend. "Tell me everything."
"Well, I was on my way to my last class and none other than Caleb steps into my path. But not in a weird way that made me run into him, just in a way that made me recognize he was in front of me. He then proceeded to ask me how I was doing and if I have a date and if I would be so kind as to go with him."
"And you said yes."
"And I said yes! How fun is that?"
"That's awesome, Jade. But I thought you'd be going with Noel."
"Umm," she turns away at my words, and I narrow my eyes.
"Jade. What are you not telling me?"
"Nothing."
"You are a terrible liar."
"Fine. Noel was going to ask you. Tonight, after dinner. You have to be surprised, and you have to say yes."
